We’ve all woken up after a night of drunken debauchery and done a little ‘I did what?’ ‘Where am I?’ ‘What’s his name?’ ‘Uhh…sh*t’-type dance.

However, in the wonderful world of college, there are a couple drunken no no’s that you will undoubtedly regret for the rest of your life. So I’ve put together for all you fabulous collegiate foxes, a list of what-not-to-do’s, even at your sloppiest. Repeat these in your sleep.

1. Hook up with your best and extremely platonic guy friend. Yiiikes. Some girls are able to bounce back, laugh it off with the guy and ma-hoooove on, but for the majority of us, you will endure an extremely awkward and confusing game of avoiding him desperately. There are some extremely rewarding friendships that need not be messed with. So. Just. Don’t.

2. Lap dances. They seem like a great idea at the time. Woo yeah, I’m the fun dancing girl! No, my lady, no. You will most likely knock something important and expensive over with your flailing “sexy” moves, and worst of all, at college parties, it is likely that at least 80% of the guests will have cameras.

Talk about a Kodak moment. Read More »

So, everyone’s had (at least) one of those, knew him well enough to say I know him, hooked up with him one night while blackout, now terrified to run into him-type of guys.

So, what the hell do you do when you’re back on campus after a long peaceful summer miles away from the guy? Where you could run into him without warning at any moment? Lord knows you wanna look good, in case HE looks good.

You’re human, so obviously you want him to want more, basically so you can turn him down the second time around and prove you’re not the easy hoochie he might think you are.

Or maybe he rubbed you the right way and you want him for another romp-around, because (secretly) you want more. Or maybe, god forbid, it was horrendously bad, but you thought he was a pretty cool guy and hope you don’t have to spend the next few years avoiding him, and can instead laugh together over that blurry night and move on as friends.

How do you prepare for the dreaded run-in? Read More »

It’s not just Brits that have trouble having the condom conversation.

After talking about it with my friends, I discovered that we’ve all had trouble bringing it up at one point or another. But bring it up we must…besides, sex is so much better when you can focus on enjoying yourself—NOT thinking “Oh my god, I’m getting something right now.”

Here are my suggestions for easing the awkwardness factor:

Bring it up in the heat of the moment.

Almost anything sounds hot whispered in someone’s ear as you’re tearing each other’s clothing off. Like “do you have a condom?” Practice in front of the mirror if you must. Which brings me to…

Carry a couple with you.

Once you finally muster up the courage to ask your partner if they have a condom, the last thing you want to hear is “Um…I’ll pull out!” Have one with you and you won’t have that problem. And ladies? It’s not slutty to carry them with you; it’s responsible. What is slutty is hosting an STD carnival in your nether regions. Once you’ve stocked up… Read More »

Cigarettes? Just say no. Candy from a stranger? Just say no. The creepy man that kept inching closer to me outside of Port Authority at 1 AM? I just said no. (Seriously, he was like an inch from me and I just got in his face and was all like “NO.” After that I invested in some pepper spray.)

It has been engrained in our minds from childhood that there are just those things in life that demand that firm, final two-lettered answer. But what do you do when you want to say no, without actually saying no?

Usually it’s some sort of awkward situation, something along the lines of that guy in your Philosophy 100 class with bad hygiene and an even worse dandruff dilemma who asked you out for Friday night, or maybe it’s when your sister gives you the 3rd degree on whether or not you ate her leftover tiramisu (oops).

Sometimes it’s a job offer that you just really aren’t up for, (that summer promotion from salon assistant to shampoo girl seems more like a punishment) or perhaps it’s just your best friend asking you to join her on her annual family vacation to the Outer Banks…cool, except that there’s no way you could last more than five minutes in the same car as her abnormally gassy grandfather.

This is where the option of the silent no comes into play, the runaway bride type principle that it is always better to ignore an offer than to reject it. I mean it makes sense, right? There’s no easier way to get out of a sticky situation scot-free than to avoid it. Read More »