I’m not sure if I mentioned it before, but I’m currently a nanny to an adorable (when sleeping) four-month old baby boy. Before taking this job, two and half months ago, I thought I wanted kids. I now realize I do not want kids, at least not for a really really (huge emphasis on really here) long time.

They are smelly, cry a lot, and think screaming should be some kind of cruel game meant to torture you.

My 12 hour days have become a constant reminder to take precautionary measures when things get heated. No way am I getting stuck with a lumpy chunk-a-lunk while I’m still a kid myself! And yes, I know, kids are precious and should be treasured, all that yaddie yadda junk…but having a kid before you are ready isn’t always the best idea (although I do have friends who have proved me wrong…but they are exceptional cases).

So in lieu of the utterly horrible day I had yesterday, which may or may not involved me crying, here are ten reasons why babies are not my favorite: Read More »

So we think celebrities can do it all — spearhead successful careers, look fabulous 24/7, spend loads of cash, cruise on Valentino’s yacht, attend P.Diddy’s white party, get Botox, meet with their trainers…and take care of their kids. It seems like we’re constantly ooh-ing and ahh-ing over those cute celebri-kids hanging out with their famous ‘rents.

But then we notice the giant designer purses, skinny jeans and 4 inch heels some of these moms are wearing. Or the general look of disinterest on these dads’ faces. Are these people really looking after their kids, or are they just in it for the family photo op? There never seem to be “help” around, aside from the stray body guard, but with a little digging look what we found — celebs have hidden nannies. And you’d be surprised to learn who sought out the extra set of hands… Read More »

There comes a tipping point where you have to say “enough is enough,” and you either need to fix what is driving you to the edge or take a step back to realize what needs to be fixed. My tipping point just arrived and resulted in me saying: “I quit!”

So, you know those people I was playing nanny for? Besides the peach cobbler incident, things have been okay. In fact, the family hired me on as their accountant/bookkeeper – so I have been doing tax forms and working with thousands and thousands of receipts for the last few weeks. However, things started going south pretty fast once I started playing the role of babysitter and bookkeeper!

There were tons of demands. It was like once they had me around all the time, they would do anything to keep me there. For example, I would give the family my schedule and they would be mad because I had LSAT class or a few hours out of the day blocked off to study – things they knew when they hired me from the start. They started wanting me to nanny and do bookkeeping work at the same time – but they only wanted to pay me for bookkeeping, despite me watching their young children. Then it turned into almost full-time hours, when I only want to work part-time. And, the worst part was when the pay became sporadic. As I write this, I still need to be paid for nearly a $100 worth of work. Do I think I’ll see the money? No, but at least I’ll have my sanity back. Read More »

You know those hermits you hear about that live in caves, hunt wild animals, and never cut their beards? Well, whenever I come home during a break from school, I give them a run for their money (minus the wild animal and beard parts – I like my meat cooked and my face fuzz-free). When I’m home, I hang out with my family and might make it to lunch with some friends a few times, but that’s pretty much the extent of my human interaction. As an only child, constantly being around (drunk) people at school can drive me absolutely crazy, so I love coming home and locking myself away for however long I can manage to.

With that said, last night I ventured out for my high school best friend’s birthday dinner. My mind, which had been reacquainted with constantly being with sober people, was blown. The champagne guzzling started at the dinner table and turned to shots as we headed out to a sweaty, packed club where there was so much grinding I was tempted to go home and get an STD test. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun…until everyone got super sloppy and my role turned from dancing queen to babysitter-to-the-sloptarts.

It got me mad.
And it got me thinking…. Read More »

Remember when you were little and you and your friends would play make-believe games? Of course you do (maybe you and your friends still do – this is a no judging zone). I remember a particular game that could be played anywhere from our Kindergarten classroom’s “kitchen,” to refrigerator boxes in our backyards. Basically, we’d stake a claim in our territory, enforce proper regulations (no boys allowed, naturally), hoard whatever dress up costumes we had handy, and embark on a few hours’ worth of playing house.

The first step was obviously fighting over choosing which Disney prince was your BF (I’m looking at you, Prince Phillip). Then, after putting on lipstick and kissing a) your hand b) your Ken doll or c) your pillow, he would construct an elaborate proposal. Next thing you know, you’ve got your Mom’s heels on, a white sheet taped to your head and a gorgeous floral arrangement done entirely in weeds (nuisance plants are the next big thing for centerpieces, I’m telling you) in your sticky little hands as your BFF pronounces you and Prince Phillip (or Eric, he was always a solid choice too) married. Then you break out the big guns: your baby doll.

When you’ve got yourself surrounded by fake bottles, strollers, binkies and baby clothes, you know you’ve made it in the pretend game of playing house. Of course, my opinion on victory at playing house now is quite the opposite. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that a baby right now would be a massive fail (on both my and LoEstrin24FE’s behalf).

But, it seems as though David and I are movin’ on up in the game of playing house. After some mild success (we have neither burned the house down nor broken up), I guess people are starting to realize how fantastically great we are at living together and have decided to reward us with some kids. And not just any kids – teenagers. Read More »

In an effort to beat the winter bulge and get my body back into shape for a weekend of bikini-clad fun come July 4th, I decided to pump up the volume on my workout last night. And now I can’t move. Even typing up this very post is sending shooting pains up my arms and I’ve completely given up on reading this website due to the extreme pain that comes with laughing.

And to top it all off, it’s an ugly, rainy day in Chicago. If I didn’t have the Glee soundtrack blasting from my iTunes right now, I’d fall into a deep funk and claw my way out with a gallon of ice cream. Which, of course, would completely defeat the purpose of my post-workout paralysis.

So in an effort to forget about the fact that I can’t move my legs without crying, I will focus on something else. Like this week’s “Would You Rather….”

Would You Rather have an unpaid summer internship with a boss like Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada or a summer job making bank as a nanny for the brattiest group of triplets you can imagine? Read More »

With a full week in California under my belt, I’ve officially moved in. This move-in was a lot different than any dorm room move-in I’ve done throughout college. Instead of signing for my dorm key, I signed a lease. A real “I’m an adult, I must abide by this contract or I’m legally responsible” lease. In fact, everything I’ve done this past week had a stamp of “Adult” on it, making post-grad a lot different than any undergrad experience.

So, now that I traded my student checking for an everyday bank account, I think it’s time to put some money in there. Maybe it’s my drive to be successful, even when my life is in limbo, or all the California wealth around me, but I have been looking for some kind of job to occupy my time. However, job hunting is a full time job, and it seems like the job market has turned its back on us post-grads.

Nearly every job listing requires three to five years of experience. Uh … I’ve been in college classrooms for the last four years, does that count? It’s kind of scary to think that I spent all this time getting my B.A. degree, only to be told that I need experience to match my degree – full time experience. It seems like entry level positions, which used to require a degree and interest (not a few years of experience), don’t exist anymore. I want to use my skills, so I can build up experience – but I can’t gain experience when I can’t get hired. Some listings I’ve seen even say that if resume don’t show three to five years of job experience in the field, they will be tossed. Yikes! Read More »

If you are lucky enough to balance a part-time job with your class sched during the school year, you’ve got it made in the summer: you can pick up extra shifts and make bank, yet request days (or weeks) off to go on vacation without looking for a slacker.  Unfortunately for many of us, when finals week rolls around, we’re stressing about how to land a job and start saving for next fall’s text books (and bar tabs).  It sucks when you’re desperate, because you’re bound to accept any offer that comes your way.

Here are the ten worst summer jobs… which might just make bankruptcy look like the better option.

1.  Amusement Park Attendant
You make minimum wage to stand in the blazing heat all summer, get lobster-red sunburns, and keep little kids in check as they anxiously await their turn on the water slide you’d sell your soul to go down.  You deal with cranky parents demanding that you speed up the line (which you can’t, for everyone’s safety), and clean up puke when the little brats get sick off of the giant ice cream cone they inhaled right before getting in your line.  Oh, and you have to wear a doofy polo with the theme park’s logo.  PASS.

2.  Landscaping and Construction.
These jobs are grueling no matter what time of year.  But when it’s 90 degrees and there’s no shade in sight, you can really do some damage to your body.  Sure, it pays well, but you’re going to constantly battle UV rays, dehydration, and straight up muscle exhaustion.  If you’ve been relatively inactive sitting at your desk and studying all summer, taking on such a physically exhausting job will be brutal.

3.  Flyering.
I wouldn’t include this if I hadn’t done it before, since most of you probably have no clue what “flyering” is.  One summer, I took a one-day job hanging 1,000 door hangers advertising a new ice cream shop on residential doorknobs.  It paid $250 for the day, so I thought it would be cool.  However, that day was spent walking around on concrete for 9 hours (even in sneakers this gets painful), and being paranoid that residents would come out with a shotgun after I left shit on their doorknobs.  Oh, I tried to wear sunscreen, but missed two strips of skin and wore a racer-back tank top.  My sunburns left scars, which look like wings on my back.  No lie. Read More »

I’m a hard worker and always have been. I started working when I was 14; I printed out cheap flyers advertising my babysitting capabilities and threw them in every mailbox in my town. I had my own little babysitting gigs and was doing quite well for myself; at $4.25 an hour, I thought I was making the big bucks.

As I grew older, I expanded my professional resume with retail positions, internships and jobs geared towards my career interests. I came out of college and now have a full-time job (and this super fun writing gig to keep me sane on the side) and am working towards getting the things I want for myself in life.

I consider myself – and many women just like me – to be a part of something new: the New Generation of 20-Something Women. No more relying on a man to determine financial status, stability or success; we are independent and have our own individual goals. Our own plans. Our fate in our hands.

Growing up, I learned that if you want something, you need to rely on yourself to get it and not someone else. I am taking that theory into account and notice that more females these days are too. Years ago, women were expected to find a man, get married, have children and keep the household. Rather than growing up and looking for our Mrs., 20-something women today are looking for a job, life experiences, travel and, most importantly, a life for themselves. Read More »

Okay, so I admit it. Sometimes, when I babysit, I totally go into the fridge and eat some food.

And every once in a while, I let the kid stay up past his bedtime, because, I mean, making them go to sleep when the sun is still up is just wrong.

I may not be an angel of perfection when it comes to taking care of other people’s kids, but at least I don’t get them stoned.

Earlier this month, a 15-year-old Florida girl was arrested and charged with felony child abuse after smoking a joint around the little kid she was babysitting—and posting a picture of it on MySpace.

The girl (who’s name is being withheld by authorities because of her age and massive stupidity) was charged as a juvenile and released into her parents care after the arrest, but the possibility that the state attorney’s office will charge her as an adult later is quite high (haha. Get it?). Read More »