Sometimes being a girl sucks. High heels hurt, cramps hurt, bikini waxes hurt (like a bitch), hell, even skinny jeans hurt. But all that is worth it for one simple reason: free drinks.

Yeah it’s not the fairest thing in the world and we really shouldn’t have to depend on guys for anything, let alone a vodka soda, but I like to think we deserve a free cocktail now and then for everything else we have to deal with. And if the guy is willing to buy it, who are we to say no?

Let’s be honest: we’re in a recession, college tuition is going up and we’ve gotta save all the money we can for when we’re jobless after graduation. We have to be wary of what we spend and creative in how we save. And, thanks to our XX chromosomes (and our boobs), there’s no easier way to save a few bucks than at the bar.

And here are three very easy and creative ways to do so.

Bachelorette Party
This one probably won’t work on a college campus where a) everyone knows who you are and b) most people aren’t getting hitched, but it’s the quickest way to free drinks if you head off campus for a night or hit the bars in your hometown. Pick a girl in your group to be the bachelorette and go all out. Get her the veil, the sash, the tank top with “Last Night of Freedom” printed across the front. Then hit the bar. Dudes love a challenge/hate impending nuptials  and will be begging to buy her (and her friends) drinks. And if they’re not beating down your door and throwing Jager shots your way, ask them. Pretend you have to do a scavenger hunt and one of the items on the list is getting a guy to buy you a beer (and then another is to get a Long Island, and a vodka tonic, and a Red Headed Slut shot….) They won’t be able to say no. Bonus: seeing as you’re so obviously in a relationship, none of them will expect anything in return!

21st Birthday
The big 2-1 is a sacred event and everyone, whether they know you or not, wants to make sure you have the best night of your life. Already 21? No one has to know that. Just put on that birthday crown, grab a group of friends and head out. Make sure everyone at the bar knows it’s your 21st and you’ll be elbow deep in shots and cocktails in no time.

Bad Break Up
You’re going to have to bust out some acting skills for this one, but it will all be worth it in a few hours when you’re chowing down on late night pizza and haven’t spent a dollar all night. Gather a group of a few friends and designate a dumpee. Stand next to the bar and start chatting it up with some guys. Once the conversation is flowing, make mention of the fact that you were just dumped. Via text. After a year long relationship. Pepper the convo with a few “I need to just not think about it for the night”s, and “I’m single and ready to mingle!”s and you’ll be sipping on something tasty (and free) soon enough.

Dear Engaged Friends,

So, congratulations! Have you picked a date? Done the dress shopping? Gone cake tasting? Picked the esteemed members of your bridal party? Great! So if we could take a minute to shift the focus over to me? Yeah.

You’re freaking me out.

Early, early, early 20s are not a time when the general “you” should be worried about marriage, especially when I can’t even decide whether I want to go to grad school or work or what. And yet, you’re kind of making me think I should be worried. I mean, isn’t everybody in the dating game right now, yourselves excluded? Aren’t most pople our age single? Don’t you know that marriage is supposed to be forever and divorces are really expensive and, frankly, so are weddings (especially on the east coast—eep)?

And also, are you going to get all judgy all of a sudden? I’m still the delinquent “single friend” who can’t land a boyfriend for more than a couple months at a shot, I have no life direction as yet (but we’re hoping, any day now, for an epiphany)… Are you going to keep giving me that “I’m judging you without trying to seem that way” look while continually asking how my dating life is going? Because I can tell you already: I’m really not going to meet anyone anytime soon. I’m pretty sure I’m bad at the dating game and I probably can’t even find someone to commit to being my date at your wedding to keep me from looking as alone and pathetic as I apparently am…

No, it’s fine. I’ll be at the bar, don’t worry about it.

Wait; you are having an open bar, aren’t you? Read More »