Now, I’m usually pretty skeptical about any news I see on the Daily Mail. It’s kind of like the internet’s version of the NY Post. The articles have some basis, usually, but they’re stretched like that last little bit of ice cream in a mostly empty pint container. Still, when I saw an article that told me that something that’s been a problem of mine for years is all in my head, I was not pleased.

I’ve had back pain since a little into puberty. Friends and relatives know that one of the biggest (pun intended) issues I have is the size of my breasts. They’re huge – and I do not mean DD huge, I mean F. Yes, there is actually an F, and that is what I am. Mind you, I’ll be getting a reduction at some point this year. But needless to say, I have back problems. My mother has back problems too, and so did my dad. It runs in the family, and it sucks, but it’s something we have to all deal with. And when I say we, I mean everyone; at least 80% of people have back problems.

But according to a recent study, only 15% of the people who complain of back pain are actually in pain. They seem to somehow come to the conclusion that the brain tricks the body into thinking it’s in pain, when it really isn’t.

Excuse me?

Alright, I admittedly know a few people who complained about back pain when they really didn’t have it. But other than that, I know how real back pain is. People I know who have back problems have legitimate reasons; arthritis, overweight/obesity (which is a problem unto itself), and various injuries all play a part. I know people who walk around all day long and come back to their home with an aching spine. There’s nothing faked about it for most people I know, and most likely at least half of the people who actually experience it.

However, the head of Pain Support did make a very astute comment: “Psychological pain is still real pain and patients still need help and support.” What I would like to know is how they determined psychological pain from physical pain. I’m also curious about how they did this survey, or even the course of treatment they tend to employ for those who are “faking it”. Curious and peeved.

As for me, I know I’m not “faking it”. And though I don’t doubt that people do, I think a significantly larger number is in order. Maybe a recount…?

Whatever. I’m going to go lie down on my memory foam now.

The crazy mood swings, the back pain, the excruciating cramps, and the lazy lazy lazy.

Everybody loves chocolate.

The bittersweet, the dark, the nutty, the shameless calories.

Jamieson Laboratories in Canada have just introduced PMS Support Chocolate Bars, fifteen different soy crisp treats infused with natural botanicals that help alleviate physical and emotional symptoms of the dreaded Aunt Flow.

The smart sweets are made up of sodium caseinate, artichoke leaf and chasteberry, white willow bark (said to be “herbal aspirin”) and a bunch of other ingredients we’ll never recognize. All these natural ingredients work together to relieve pains, bloating, and your baaaad attitude.

Hallelujah!

Seems like the perfect solution considering everyone craves chocolate on their period anyway. Lucky for us we can stop popping pills and throw out that damn warm compress, because these delectable delights cash in at only 70 calories a serving.

Too good to be true? I’ll let you know next month.