Many women see their backdoor as a one-way street, so to speak. To them, anal sex is more laughable than sexy and it’s understandable that they should feel that way–after all, what has popular culture told us about anal sex? That it’s funny, disgusting, painful, or the dangerous means of a deviant lifestyle.

I will concede that anal sex is funny at times, but only so much as sex as a whole is funny (which it really should be). Also, we as a society seem to need to make light of the things that make us uncomfortable, and anal sex is still very taboo culturally because of widespread misinformation and closed minds.

For instance, many people still associate anal sex with homosexuality and the AIDS epidemic, and let their ignorance about the lifestyle inform their ideas about the nature of the act. Granted, some studies have shown that sexually transmitted diseases are more easily spread through anal sex, but they are even more easily preventable if the sex is practiced safely.

For all its perceived perversion, anal sex seems to be growing in popularity. In a 2005 study by the Center for Disease Control, they found that 34% of men and 32% of women between the ages of 22-24 have anal sex with the opposite sex, up from 20% in 1990. The Guide to Getting it On also reports that 30-40% of all heterosexual couples in this country have tried anal intercourse, with up to half of these continuing to do it on an occasional basis.

If you do decide to partake in anal sex, make sure you are living in a state that allows you to do so. Despite a 2003 decision by the US Supreme Court that sodomy laws were unconstitutional, 12 states (including my own state of Florida…yeah, all this information I’m offering in part two is totally anecdotal…) have laws banning outright or regulating who can have anal sex and with whom.

In fact, although the so-called sodomy law is mostly associated with anal sex, it’s implied that what is really outlawed is sexual activity that cannot lead to procreation. So, get your hands out of your pants, because that means no masturbation and, that’s right, no oral sex.

When put in those terms, I’m betting that not even the senators who voted in these laws would be able to follow them. It’s another sad example of the government or people in power trying to govern our sexuality and subvert the rights inherent to us as American citizens.

Although America isn’t the only country to have highly flawed ideas about sexuality: in 70 of 195 countries in the world consensual homosexual sex is illegal. The good news, however, is that the number of these laws are on the decline.

One adult having consensual anal sex with another only hurts other people so far as it may offend their delicate sensibilities. And they have just as much right to be offended as I have a right to have sex however I damn well please.

But I live in Florida, which means my options are somewhat limited.

It turns out that, while in bed, my roommate’s boyfriend, drunk as a skunk (yes, I just used that phrase) made an interesting request. Anal sex.

Now, this topic may not be as taboo as it used to – perhaps we can thank Brokeback Mountain for that? – but it is still a topic I would rather leave to the porn stars than bring into my bedroom. In fact, I am constantly wondering why so many guys make the request to begin with. I get that it may feel “better.” I also can see how it will really spice up a boring sex life (to which I must respond, “So will doing it in the shower.”).

But after asking around, I confirmed my suspicions as to the real reason: the story…

Just like my roommates, guys like to sit around and compare their latest sexcapades with their friends. It seems that since anal sex is still rather kinky (or NOT HAPPENING, depending on who you are), the impressive factor is about as high as it can get. Unless, I suppose, if some dude’s lady lets him invite all her friends over for an orgy.

The point is, most guys don’t want to try the rear to “bring you closer together” or “take the relationship to the next step.” They do it because they want their friends to ooh, ahh and get jealous of the fact that they convinced their girlfriends to do it porn-style. Bonus if they also convinced you to tape the whole thing…. Which they will probably also show their friends.

Hopefully, knowing this, my roommate will opt out again in the future. Especially because her boyfriend is her brother’s best friend.