Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Two girls in the dining hall.)

Girl 1: God, I am seriously the best wing man ever!

Girl 2: Well, who’s your wing man?

Girl 1: (Pointing to her breasts and shimmying) I’ve got two.

(Man, woman, waiting in the lobby of a hair salon.)

Man (looking in mirror): What do you think? It worked for Wolverine, you know.

Woman: No. It wouldn’t work for you.

Man: It’s … it’s working already. Read More »

I have never really liked meat. The idea of a bloody (or even well-done) steak with neatly criss-crossed grill marks on my plate has never been appealing to me, and I have basically limited my carnivorous intake to the occasional chicken breast. My boyfriend is a vegetarian, and I can go for long stretches of time without eating any meat at all. So why am I not a vegetarian, too, already?

Here are the reasons I’ve come up with (while sitting over a bowl of my mom’s famous beef stew):

- It still doesn’t seem to be quite accepted. If you’re invited to dinner at someone’s house or invited to a wedding or some other bash, it’s assumed that you eat meat. If you don’t, you either have to make everyone feel bad by arranging for a special plate or you have to forage for roots and berries among the side dishes.

- Some of my favorite dishes from childhood have meat in them. Sure, I don’t eat them now, but when I go home and my mom makes them, it’s sweet (and they’re still delicious). Knowing I couldn’t eat those anymore would kind of depress me. Wait, who am I kidding? It would totally depress me.

- One of my goals is to travel around the world, and I don’t want to have to limit myself in any way when I do that. Especially when it comes to eating local fare that may or may not come from an animal.

- BACON. Need I say more? Read More »

“That’s not how she can do it in our family. She acts like she’s the queen, and we’re the sorry people!”

I’m going to level with you guys—it’s Friday. If there was ever a time to put off work by watching funny YouTube videos (or, you know, to avoid writing a real blog post by posting a funny video instead—hypothetically speaking), now is that time.

Meet King Curtis. King Curtis is somewhere between the ages of 9 and 12 (… I think. I stopped knowing how to judge how old kids are when I hit puberty), and he rules his household with a tiny, iron fist. When his indulgent mom gets swapped with another, stricter lady on ABC’s Wife Swap, King Curtis is forced to face the unthinkable: that he may not be allowed to stuff himself with spray cheese and bacon for the duration of filming.

But King Curtis won’t take this assault on junk food lying down—he’s royalty, goddamnit, and he deserves better. For your viewing pleasure, here’s the greatest tantrum ever captured on camera: Read More »

Wow, Megan Fox, that’s one tiny corset!

Swine Flu side effects: fever, chills, and Racism?

Julia roberts can cuss like a sailor!

Heart on your sleeve, emoticons on your ears.

First Lindsay, now Ali. Can we expect Dina in a Bikini next?

Bacon flavored lip gloss just sounds wrong.

Paris Hilton knows how to protect herself.

Another reason to head to Target!

Kim Kardashian goes blonde. Interesting.

Who does Simon think will win Idol?

Is LC going to be replaced on The Hills?

10 annoying text habits.

Sam Ronson wants a restraining order from crazy Lindsay.

Need an excuse? Try the economy.

What is the most stressful moment of a relationship?

Katy Perry shares her thoughts on marriage.

What’s your hangover cure?

Victoria Beckham is too busy for Ugly Betty.

Get that perfect sunkissed look for Spring.

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

“Yeah, Catholic high school was abstinence-only. They never taught us about condoms or cock rings or anything like that.”

At Starbucks:

Man: “I can’t help it! I’m impotent!” (Pointing at the drinks menu) “It’s… this Greek goddess stuff!”

“That’s how you choose who gets to keep the dog after the divorce. You can cheat, you know. Rub bacon on your hand or something like that.”

“Yeah. That’s how you choose who gets to keep the kids, too. I think the bacon thing still works.”

“No, I’m not gay. I just like tickle fights with other men.” Read More »

Salary caps for everyone!

Want free condoms for a year?

Bruce Springsteen hates Ticketmaster charges, too!

Tell us: has CollegeCandy ever looked so tasty?

First Pete Wentz, now 50 Cent is dabbling in man makeup.

10 ways to say I Love You…without saying it.

Jude Law as a Transvestite Supermodel? Yes, it’s true.

90’s styles that should have stayed in the 90’s.

Some very pretty lingerie options for Valentine’s Day.

5 uses for those magazine scent strips.

Innovative ways to make some extra moolah.

This looks healthy.

There is going to be another Hasselbeck running around.

Will Obama’s bailout plan work?

The Biggest Losers love their armpits?

Looks like the Arrested Development movie is a go!

That’s awkward, Mrs. News Anchor.

5 fashion choices that turn men off.

President Barack vs. Elephant Barack.

This tattoo can’t be real, can it?

Mischa Barton will do anything to get back into the limelight.

Dorm food causing some…er…digestion issues? Try yoga!

I don’t know what it is about today, but somehow we have come across some seriously gross sh*t on the internet. Maybe we have too much time on our hands? Or maybe Tuesdays are just unlucky. Whatever the reason, we can’t keep it to ourselves. It’s just too….gross.

We know you are all out there taking a break from the summer classes/laying by the pool/that awful summer job and you need soemthing to do. So, here it is.

Click with caution. Oh, and learn from our mistakes: put down the snack foods, ladies. Somehow that Oreo Cakester just isn’t as tasty when accompanied by incest, moose knuckles and old lady hoo-hahs.

Which is worse: sex with your brother or sex with someone who looks exactly like your daughter? Read More »