I don’t know what it is about today, but somehow we have come across some seriously gross sh*t on the internet. Maybe we have too much time on our hands? Or maybe Tuesdays are just unlucky. Whatever the reason, we can’t keep it to ourselves. It’s just too….gross.

We know you are all out there taking a break from the summer classes/laying by the pool/that awful summer job and you need soemthing to do. So, here it is.

Click with caution. Oh, and learn from our mistakes: put down the snack foods, ladies. Somehow that Oreo Cakester just isn’t as tasty when accompanied by incest, moose knuckles and old lady hoo-hahs.

Which is worse: sex with your brother or sex with someone who looks exactly like your daughter? Read More »

Just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I am averse to putting alcoholic substances in the foods I eat. Surely one of the best French dishes on Earth is coq au vin, made with tender chicken and savory mushrooms and the most wonderful red wine sauce ever…But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. If you’re thinking that coq au vin sounds like the perfect thing to make for a romantic dinner, you’re right. If you want to make it the authentic French way, though, you might be marinating chicken and letting spices simmer and flavors develop for literally hours—if not days—on end. Trust me, you can get results that are very nearly as good just by using your slow cooker.

If you don’t have a slow cooker, I seriously recommend leaving the room this instant and going directly to a place where you can buy one. They’re inexpensive and they will save you loads of time on busy days (or any kind of days, really). Unbelievably amazing casseroles, soups, stews, and meat so tender that it falls off the bone all become everyday realities with the help of your friend the slow cooker. I have even heard about slow cookers making fantastic cobblers and cookies.

Moving on from the sales pitch, let’s get back to the coq au vin. To make enough for you and your special beau, you need: Read More »

Dear God, I wish I didn’t see this. Can someone please get this woman into rehab? (Or my bikini waxer?)

With airline ticket costs soaring, some people are coming up with more creative ways to travel.

Thank God for United States Postal Workers; delivering our mail…and finding old ladies trapped under cars.

Mini Me isn’t so mini…if you know what I’m sayin’.

Women aren’t the only ones with a biological clock.

Everyone loves bacon!

Retro Sexy: Dita Von Teese does it best

Corey Haim just can’t win.

John McCain hates bloggers. Well, Mr. McCain: we hate you too.

I love my dad. But I hate shopping for him. He’s a fabulous man, but has picky tastes and isn’t exactly interested in the typical manly activities. If your dad is like my dad, he doesn’t play sports, nor does he watch them. You won’t find him on the golf course. He doesn’t spend a whole lotta time fishing. And he isn’t going to be caught dead playing any sort of video games.

Every time I look at a Father’s Day gift guide, I’m inundated with presents I know my dad wouldn’t be interested in. Sometimes I’m at a total loss for what to get this most important man in my life. If you’re in the same boat as me, take a look at my list of gifts every dad can enjoy, no matter what his hobbies might be:

1) Of-the-Month Clubs: These are my favorite go-to gifts for dad. Why? Because there is something for everyone. My dad’s a big foodie and when I got him the cheese of the month club, he went wild. He’s also a grill master so the year I got him the rub of the month club (yes, as in spice rubs for meats), he was more than happy. And beer of the month club? You just can’t go wrong with that (unless your dad doesn’t drink, and then, I do not recommend it).

Other of-the-month clubs that could make your dad love you forever (um, not that he wouldn’t anyway) include bacon of the month club, cookie of the month club, and ice cream of the month club. Of-the-month clubs are great for us gifters on a budget because they offer lots of options. You can usually get a membership to the club for anywhere from 3 months to the whole year. Read More »

I love animals. I always have. I had dogs, rabbits, birds, and fish growing up. Never for one moment have I ever thought that animals aren’t ‘alive’. Never for one moment have I thought that they can’t feel. And I still eat meat.

I have absolutely nothing against vegetarians. Many of my friends are vegetarians and, in fact, I was a vegetarian myself for a couple of years in high school. However, I H-A-T-E being talked down to by the occasional vegetarian/vegan who comes my way and feels it’s his or her duty to “inform” me of anything related to the subject matter. I hate it almost as much as I hate religious people who feel the need to damn me to Hell via conversation. I almost hate it as much as the smell of burnt hair. I hate it almost as much as I hate Daisy from Rock of Love 2.

Why all of the hate?

Because it’s not anyone’s place to tell me what to eat. Read More »

I hereby announce to all ye partying people that BBQ season is upon us!

I grew up in a family that used just about any occasion to throw stuff on a grill and stand over it with tongs, and therefore, I’m completely licensed in the art of barbecology.

Some people can write math equations a mile along, some people can paint amazing pictures of a stormy sea, but yours truly…she can BBQ like nobody’s business.

I’ve been asked to share my knowledge of open-flamed gluttony with you.

JALAPENO, STUFFED WITH SHRIMP AND CHEESE, WRAPPED IN BACON.

The name might be long, but it’s tastefully accurate. These little treats impress the masses and leave you pondering whether pigs and shrimp were soulmates in past lives. Split jalapenos in half, smooth in cream or cheddar cheese. Plop a little shrimpy in there and wrap that sh*t in bacon. Booyah. Read More »

Feeling classy? If you have some extra time to cook, I guarantee this recipe will not disappoint. It’s great to make on weekends when the pressure of schoolwork isn’t looming, and it also works like a charm to impress that special someone.

For a two-person dish, you need ¼ tsp salt, ¼ tsp pepper, ½ tsp rosemary (fresh is best, but dried works, too), one small butternut squash, cooking spray, 2-3 slices of bacon, ½ c onions or shallots, 8 oz uncooked pasta, 2 tablespoons flour, 1 c milk, and ½ c shredded parmesan or asiago cheese.

First, heat the oven to 425. Prepare your butternut squash by halving it lengthwise and scooping out the seeds with a spoon.

Coat a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and cooking spray, then lay the squash halves, cut side up, on the sheet. Sprinkle them with the salt, the pepper, and the rosemary. Bake the squash for an hour. Don’t turn off the oven when it’s done, because you’ll need it again soon.

If you’re short on time, you can also peel and cube the squash before you bake it. You want cubes of about 1” all around. Scatter the cubes on the baking sheet, coat with the above mixture, and cook for 30-45 minutes.

When the squash is done, it should be soft and dark, like this: Read More »

• What are the top 10 foods to top with bacon when bacon goes with everything?

• Looking to waste time on the internet? Is that question as stupid as the bacon one? Eh, just waste your time here!

• Coca Cola is evil. But only in Russia.

• The eternal war wages on! Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

• This guy’s even better than the real Santa.

• So now when your little brother won’t stop making you play Rock, Paper, Scissors you’ll know how to shut him up.

• This is the most confusing story on penis theft ever. (AllAfrica.com)

• I think the worst thing that could happen to Portland is a Hippie Rebellion…not a bio-terrorist attack. (katu.com)

• Hop on the Heart Attack Express and eat at the Bacon Club! On the menu: Bacon infused mint julep? (boston.com)

• Booze Alert: Absinthe is back! 62% alcohol, anyone? (jsonline.com)

• Who’s worse? Britney Spears or the woman who used her infant as a taser shield? (tulsaworld.com)

• Dorm kitchen essentials! Hey, anything’s better than the cafeteria! (COED Magazine)