This Week’s Article: Why Do Single Women Like Taken Men? by askmen.com.

This week’s article lists a number of reasons why women are (supposedly) attracted to taken men. Let’s see what they have to say…

AskMen says: “In the Garden of Eden, Eve sinks her teeth into the one piece of fruit that God instructed her to avoid — so began a long line of women who wanted, oh so badly, what they could not have.”

I Say: Actually, I’m pretty sure Eve convinced Adam to eat the forbidden fruit instead of biting into it herself. Nevertheless, I don’t really find bible references to be the most accurate explanations of human behavior.

AskMen Says: “Significant others are a reflection of the people they date. That’s why it’s in a girl’s best interest to act like her boyfriend’s PR rep: to mention whenever possible that he studied at Harvard — oh, and he plays in a band. When she boasts, her listeners see him through the rose-colored glasses that she wears.”

I Say: Of coarse, the only way women can make themselves seem like decent human beings to to boast to others about the great things their boyfriend does. Read More »

This Week’s Article: 5 Lies All Women Tell by askmen.com.

This article’s tag line is: “If she’s said any of these things to you, she’s lying.” Starting off with a gross generalization is never a good thing, but let’s take a look at what lies the boys at AskMen think we’ve been telling. All of us. Every time we speak.

“I’m not mad at you.”

Askmen says: “Oh, yes she is. Don’t think you’re getting off that easily. This lie is one of the most frequently used in relationships. Typically, women who have been hurt by men in their lives — often inadvertently — use this phrase as an emotional defense. For example, if a guy forgets his girlfriend’s birthday, calls her by his ex’s name or commits any of the other minor screw ups that most men do on a daily basis, women usually can’t just let it go. They dwell on it, letting worries whittle away normal feelings of well-being like a dog gnaws on a bone.”

I say: This is true some of the time, but there are definitely times we really just aren’t mad! Really! And if we are, we don’t all let it “whittle away normal feelings of well-being”; we can get over things, you know. The best way to get around this confusion is to encourage open and honest communication from the start of a relationship. Read More »

This week’s article: How to Control and Dominate Your Woman by stevenmiller on advice.com.

This article is nothing but a load of misogynistic crap about women being submissive to men. It open’s with: “Women like to be controlled and dominated. Don’t fool yourself into believing that they don’t. They do… Secretly all women desire to submit to the will of their man.”

Of course, he is sure to include a disclaimer: “First off, I’m not promoting any man to beat any woman. You can dominate her without putting the “smack down” on her.” That’s right boys, stick to verbally abusing your women, please.

And it only gets worse – much, much worse – from there.

How should a man respond when a women is nagging him? Because that’s all we ever do, right?
Miller suggests saying the following:  “WOMAN! Last time I checked I was the one with the penis in this house. You better go in that kitchen and get my dinner on the table!” Miller goes on to explain that if she tries to talk back and argue, “just shake your head no and point to the kitchen. She’ll get the message. By doing this you will subconsciously reinforce the fact that you are the dominant one in the household. You’re the man and your word is the only one that counts in the end.”
I say: Is this guy for real? Does he honestly think any self-respecting woman is going to just scurry off to the kitchen because the man with the penis said so? Read More »

This Week’s Article: Crazy Things Women do on Facebook by askmen.com

Facebook and other social networking sites have revolutionized the way humans interact with each other. Facebook allows new opportunities to make new friends, stay in touch with old friends, network with professionals in your career field, find neighbors with common interests, and, oh yeah, stalk and manipulate people.

Obvi.

While I’m sure we all know someone that has used Facebook for shady purposes, askmen.com would have their readers believe that ALL women use Facebook to control and manipulate them. And that if it’s not Facebook, we’ll find some other way to take control. They say “Women are trained in the art of creating, maintaining and controlling relationships, and Facebook is just one more resource they can use to keep tabs on and influence people.”

So what are the crazy things we actually do on there? Read More »

This week’s article: What the Woman in Your Life is Really Thinking

This week’s piece of craptastic man advice is different than most as it is written from the perspective of a woman detailing exactly what goes through her mind at important relationship moments. An extremely simpleminded, calorie-obsessed, insecure woman, that is.

This article makes all women seem like completely superficial idiots. The introduction to the article – “Every woman reacts differently, but my account here will scare the bejeezus out of you by coming pretty damn close to what your wife or girlfriend was thinking at various points in the arc of your relationship. Psychologists are standing by to help you understand—and deal with—us women” – gives me some hope that it was written as a joke, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be taken seriously by the men who read it.

Relationship Milestone #1: The Night You Met

What we’re supposedly thinking: “Are you actually hot, or have I just made that up so I won’t get bored and eat all this bread, which is awesome?”
Are You Kidding? OMG! I ALWAYS pretend men are hot to keep from consuming extra carbs!! And there is nothing that makes me crave a basket of bread more than an ugly guy.

What we’re supposedly thinking: “You looked away. I didn’t like you anyway. I’m bored. I want more bread.”
Are You Kidding? Again with the bread. Couldn’t the author at least pick something more interesting, like cheese dip or spinach puffs or mini pigs-in-a-blankets? I mean, when I’m upset or rejected, bread isn’t the first thing I turn to… Read More »

Men are tricky creatures. As much as we may wish we could read their minds, it just isn’t possible (yet… come on, science!). But don’t worry, I have discovered a trick to help us understand them a little more.

We all know guys that have picked up Cosmo from time-to-time (or have a monthly subscription) to help them figure out what their women are thinking. Hell, I bet a bunch of guys are reading CollegeCandy right now to try and figure something out about their girlfriends. Well ladies, we can do the same thing! Taking a peek at the kind of dating and relationship advice guys are being fed is a great way to get into the mind of a dude and see why he acts the way he does. Every Wednesday I’ll be doing just that. Hopefully, this will explain a few things…

This Week’s Article: Her Best Friend Is A Guy by askmen.com.

As someone who has a lot of close platonic male friends in her life, this article particularly irked me. And by “irked,” I mean “pissed me the hell off.”

The boys (they are not men) over at AskMen refuses to believe that a male and female can truly ever be good friends. As they say, “we’re operating under the assumption that heterosexual men and women cannot be best friends; sex always gets in the way.” I know many people may believe this, but I am living testament to the fact that it is not true. I would never dream of sleeping with my best guy friends, who I absolutely adore, and I know they feel the same way about me. In fact, the mere thought of it all makes me puke in my mouth a little.

Moving on… Read More »

Men are tricky creatures. As much as we may wish we could read their minds, it just isn’t possible (yet… come on, science!). But don’t worry, I have discovered a trick to help us understand them a little more.

We all know guys that have picked up Cosmo from time-to-time (or have a monthly subscription) to help them figure out what their women are thinking. Hell, I bet a bunch of guys are reading CollegeCandy right now to try and figure something out about their girlfriends. Well ladies, we can do the same thing! Taking a peek at the kind of dating and relationship advice guys are being fed is a great way to get into the mind of a dude and see why he acts the way he does. Every Wednesday I’ll be doing just that. Hopefully, this will explain a few things…

This Week’s Article: “Open Up to Her?” from askmen.com.

A reader writes to Doc Love (really? Doc Love?) because he has been having problems with the woman he has been dating for 21 months. He writes: “Caprice is now saying she doesn’t know if we’re compatible. She still says she loves me and is still touchy with me (so I don’t think it’s just Womanese). One of her specific complaints is that I don’t communicate, and that she doesn’t really know me. In your book you say not to talk too much about yourself and only tell her things that will raise her Interest Level. I shut my mouth and make sure I listen, but if she asks what I think about something and I think my answer will lower Interest Level, I don’t say anything. Should I open up more?”

Doc Love’s first move is to remind the writer that he is always right. He says: “”The System” works all the time on everything. If you missed something in the Dating Dictionary or misinterpreted my techniques, then it’s not a problem with my book; it’s a problem with you. So please don’t say it only works ‘up to a point.’” Wow, way to hit that cocky ball out of the park, Doc Love. You really think you have all the dating answers? There isn’t one single situation in the whole world that the Doc Love “system” might not work for?

I’m really hating this guy already. Read More »

I am a Cosmo devotee. Have been since I started stealing my mom’s when I was twelve. I am amazed monthly by the hair, the witty captions, and their never ending innovation of synonyms for the word penis. Many of my friends, acquaintances, relatives and sisters swear by Cosmo as their Bible (and for the most part I do too). But there are some times (well…many times) when Cosmo’s take on real world situations is – in a word – whack.

I will still accept their declarations of lip gloss superiority like they were handed down from the divine, but when it comes to their interpretation of all things men (or at least all things greatly generalized and stereotyped), I think I’ll be reading with a grain of salt handy.

And I’ll pass that grain onto you. With every passing month and, in turn, every new “Secret Sex Fantasy Guys Won’t Tell You!” revealed, I will be here to break it all down for you. I will find the truth buried deep between the unsafe sex positions and “things he secretly loves you for,” so you don’t end up with a stiff neck, an angry boyfriend or some seriously embarrassing sexcapades.

Case in Point: His Body Reveals What He’d Never Tell You

This month, Cosmo attempts to decipher the inner workings of the male mind via seemingly trivial physical cues (again.) You’re man’s scratching his ear? He’s prob cheating on you. What’s that? He blinks more than 50 times in a minute? His favorite sports team is winning. Seriously though, the things that Cosmo interprets from the following random body language are hardly the earth shattering revelations I thought I was in for.

Printed to the nines in red and black boldface, I immediately assume that this article contains crucial, non-regurgitated info. What I find is quite a lot of previously printed concepts, some “DUH” points, and (obv) euphemisms for penises. Read More »