I went on a bad date, y’all. A bad, bad date with a bad, bad man. I reactivated that good ‘ol online dating profile that’s brought me so much luck in the past. You see, I’ve always been the kind of person who has to learn things the hard way. I’m the kid who always hears, “I told you so.” So instead of burying my head in the books for finals, I opened up my MacBook in hopes of finding a distraction.

It turns out he found me. A cutie named Tonio sent me a message and truthfully, I was extremely flattered! He had everything on his profile spelled correctly, graduated from college and was legally employed. These days, you really can’t go wrong with that. After a weekend of the typical tennis match convo, he offered up his number. I texted him a day later. The conversation flowed naturally as I learned more about him – for the first time in a long time, I was the girl grinning at her phone! Every morning for about a week, he’d send me a “good morning” text. “He’s thinking about me,” I thought with glee.

My photo should probably be the feature image for stupidwomenwhowillbelieveanythingconvenient.org.

Later that week after an hour-long Skype conversation, Tonio asked me out for about the third time. He wanted to see me the day we began talking, but I wanted to wait a few days. In retrospect, that should’ve been my first red flag.

So of course, I consulted with my council of homegirls. “If he’s really crazy, it’s better to find out now!” one friend advised. “If you keep on turning him down, he definitely won’t ask you out again,” another told me.

Fast forward to Friday afternoon – 4/20. In a cloudy haze of campus reefer smoke and ambition, I decided to accept his date offer. I didn’t mind that he set up our plans without consulting me. I didn’t mind that he wanted to meet me really late – 11 p.m. I didn’t mind that he wasn’t too concerned about me missing out on reading hours for finals, either. I’m young, he’s cute, and I never get to do this. YOLO.

We decided to meet down the street from my house. He insisted on picking me up, but I wasn’t cool with him knowing where I lived. I waited for him for half an hour, worried that he saw what I looked like and ran for the hills. But it was just traffic, I guess. He showed up looking better than his pictures in a crisp button down and jeans. I was happy about that! I was actually happy for most of the date, even when he decided to take me to a loud, ratchet bar with a raucous, un-romantic crowd and watered down drinks. We chatted for about half an hour before weaving our way to the bar exit.

It was time for me to head back, but my friend who I was staying with was nowhere to be found. “Let’s keep the party going!” he suggested. “We can go into the city and hit up happy hour.”

I let his nice smile and my vodka and cranberry buzz clout my judgment as I stepped into his car. I didn’t even take a picture of his license plate like I was supposed to! We cracked jokes and listened to music, and everything was going swimmingly. Until he started driving way past D.C. and towards his house, miles and miles away. Umm, what?

Stay tuned for part two next week!

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

[lead image via NakedWithSocksOn]

Last night, Gawker threw up the red flags on a dating disaster. Since the hot topic features the timeless men versus women debacle, I thought it would only be polite to share our feminine two cents.

If I’ve piqued your interest, bring your nose a little bit closer to the screen. Before you read the article (or if you’re too lazy to), here’s the gist of what’s going on: in a long, elaborate e-mail (where this guy searched his distressed lady friend, “Lauren”, to find out her personal info), he accuses “Lauren” of sending deeply mixed and confusing signals on their first date. He then goes on to exemplify all of the reasons that they should be together and how he will be patiently waiting underneath his Christmas tree for her forced, uh.. sincere apology.

Because I find this both totally outrageous and completely understandable (its the classic I’m just not that into you vs. how come he didn’t return my calls?), I wanted to break down just what, exactly, he is so bitter about and whether or not he’s got an honest point.

He Says: On their date, “Lauren” played with her hair a lot and any woman playing with her hair for more than .13345 seconds when in the presence of a man is obviously flirting. To make matters worse, “Lauren” held eye contact on her date with him. She kept looking at him when he was talking. On a “per-minute basis”, He has never shared that much eye contact with another girl. Another obvious giveaway that she has feelings for him. Between scarfing down an appetizer, entree and dessert, they shared a nice, steady flow of conversation. At the conclusion of their whirlwind first date, “Lauren” committed the ultimate date-hate by telling he, ‘it was nice to meet you.’ Because in 2011, any walking and talking human with manners is obviously the worst kind of individual. The awful icing in the cake is that ”Lauren” never returned any of his calls or texts following what he felt was the most incredible date of 2k11.

We Say: We’re girls. We touch our hair. When we’re nervous, when we’re bored, when we’re not sure where to place our hands. Maybe we do it when we’re flirting but it is NOT a dead giveaway that we’re head-over-heels for you. And why are you watching my hair so closely anyway? Eye contact is something that usually makes us comfortable. We’re talking TO you so it obviously makes sense to look at you, right? One + one makes two. It would also be really rude of us to share an entire meal with someone from start to finish and not make any attempt to talk to you (even if we’re not interested in you, not all females are heartless). If we don’t return your calls, your texts, or respond to your creepy emails…. take the hint: we’re just not that into you, guy. And you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, right? Right.

Women of the world (okay, fine… men of the world, too), what do you think? Is this letter over the top or does he kind of have a point? Make sure you tell us in the comments and then head over to the Frisky for their take (spoiler alert: it’s different than ours).

Lesson 22: You Haven’t Seen It All Before

There you are on another Friday night, being walked to your door by yet another clueless guy after yet another date so bad it made you long for the pain of getting your wisdom teeth removed. He’s invading your personal space, closing his eyes, leaning in for a kiss he thinks is totally deserved but you can’t help but cringe. So in the words of Carrie Underwood, “you kiss that frog” and slam the door behind you, shudder and rub the traces of his saliva off your MAC lipstick and tell your roommate you’re giving up dating to become asexual.

As single girls running around the college dating scene, it’s so easy to convince ourselves that we’ve seen it all, that nothing comes as a surprise to us anymore. The frat guys who balance pseudo-drinking problems with the hands they insist on keeping glued to your ass, the guy from your Chem lab who could make a living off being awkward, the hipster whose band you could care less about – they all become the same clueless guy in the jaded, single girl’s eyes.

Read More »

How to end things after just one date

Just a normal day for the Smith family

Well here’s a flower you don’t want to ever get

Get these popular summer shoes for LESS

What’s so bad about a large?

This will make you laugh

Any movie with Ryan Reynolds gets my vote

I really don’t believe this relationship is real

Meet Prince Harry’s wedding date

UH OH drama in tweeny romance heaven

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

So you’re in the middle of a particularly “blah” dinner date and your date launches into (yet another) story about quail season and you’re about to give up all hope and consider joining a convent just so you’ll never have to put yourself through this kind of cruel and unusual punishment ever again.

Look, I know where you’re coming from. You start to drink heavily standing by the reasoning that if your date refuses to have a personality, you’ll just have to let the liquor create one for him. You keep glancing at your cell wondering why your best friend has yet to call with your routine emergency date rescue call. We’ve all been there. It’s those nights that being single gets such a bad rep.

So why is that after such awful dates we still waver when considering a follow-up date?

Lesson 8: Trust your instincts. Read More »

One of the best parts of summer is how it changes the dating game, hands down. Instead of having to desperately duck into a random cafe so you two don’t become walking icicles, or having to cut your date short because of that research paper that you should have started, you know, yesterday, you can spend hours at an outdoor fair! Or spend the day playing some fun outdoor sport! Or even take long, leisurely walks on the beach at night.

No, seriously, I’m in Miami and people do that. Delightful, right?

All the benefits of dating in summer are great for another reason: my friends have tons of hilarious stories to tell me! Which got me thinking…

Would You Rather go to the bathroom at the end of an amazing date and realize your nipple had been showing the whole time thanks to your new low cut top OR realize you sent your fantastic date a text, meant for your best friend, describing all the graphic things you wanted to do to him? Read More »

[Everyone’s got a morning after story and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

My friend’s parents were out of town a few weeks ago and, naturally, she threw a party. Between beer bongs on the deck, I started talking with one of the other party-goers. She told me about a great guy she knew that she thought would be perfect for me. “I’m going to have him Facebook you. You have to go out.” Being the perpetual single girl, I was excited at the prospect. Especially when she told me he was tall, cute and funny.

So when I woke up the next afternoon (it was a crazy night) to find a Facebook friend request from him, I did a little undie-dance around my room.

We had our first date a few days later. We met up for drinks and really hit it off. He was a little bit into himself, but I just wrote it off as a first date thing; everyone tries to sell themselves on the first date. Plus, he was tall, cute and funny, so I was a smitten kitten. Three hours later, he was picking up the tab (a very good sign!) and giving me a kiss on the cheek goodnight.

“I had a really great time tonight,” he told me. “I can’t wait to do this again.” Read More »

After months of being inundated with previews and ads, Tina Fey and Steve Carell’s Date Night is finally premiering tonight. I for one am quite excited; how can a movie with two of my favorite people not be good?

If only I had someone to take me to see it.

For those of you who haven’t turned on the TV in 3 months (or fast-forward through commercials), the movie is about a married couple who’s date night goes totally awry. Now, I’m not married (sorry mom), but I’ve had my fair (or not so fair) share of really bad dates that ended in total disaster. Like the time my then BF wanted to take me out for a really nice date to a sushi restaurant and there was something wrong with my food. Three hours later, we were working together to plunge the toilet and soak up the overflow before it hit the hallway. Talk about romance.

In honor of the movie’s release, and to make me feel a bit better about my cursed love life, this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their own dating horror stories. Tell us about your worst date in the comments section below.

Charlsie – Hollins University: I once dated this guy who thought he was good at everything. When I invited him over to hang out with my friends, we ended up playing the board game Candyland. Mr. I Am The Best At Everything lost, and he ended up getting so upset that he actually threw the Candyland pieces around. The kicker was that his guy thought his greatest attribute was his maturity.

Rachael – University of Miami: The guy I was seeing last semester brought me to his frat’s semi-formal and let his brother hit on me all night for his amusement. Then was annoyed when I asked if I could borrow his coat for the walk home (he had long sleeves and an undershirt, I had a sleeveless dress). Then, to finish off the night, when I asked for help unzipping my dress before he left – making it clear, especially the way things had been going, that I genuinely needed help and that was all – he told me that if I had been implying something, it was okay. So I asked if he wanted to stick around. He thought and responded, “Not tonight.” Read More »

"I think you should leave."

Well, turns out I’m destined to be a spinster for the rest of my life. Might as well start stocking up on cat litter and toe socks now. This past weekend I was kicked off my own date. Sure I’ve had some awkward dates but this is a new low…even for me.

Everything was too good to be true. I met him a birthday party, we exchanged numbers, he actually texted me the next day to plan a date. It was going so well, so fast, that I got ahead of myself. I was halfway to the tattoo parlor, already to get his name permanently put over my heart, when I pulled myself together and decided to wait to see how the date actually went.

And thank god I waited. We met up this weekend at a fancy-schmancy bar which reeked of people with too much money and no idea what to do with it. I don’t see any other reason to spend $25 on a cocktail. Don’t these people know that you can feed a recent college grad for 3 weeks on that money? My date, let’s call him Morgan Goldman Stanley-Sachs, began the evening by mocking my career choice (blogging), my scarf (I was cold), and myself (he referred to me as being absolutely crazy).

By the time we finished our first round of drinks we were full-on fighting. Not the sexy-flirtatious kinda fighting. More like the 7th-grade-girl name-calling, mud-slinging, IM you from a fake screen name kinda fighting. Read More »

Rihanna and Katy Perry take a vacay.

Ulta discounts for college girls!

Lookin’ good between seasons.

Super awesome green products.

Condi Rice and Randy Jackson?

You think you’ve had bad dates?

Win a free week at a spa!