Award season never fails to provide an endless array of ‘best and worst’ fashion. We won’t pretend to be above it. The 2012 SAG Awards had more than a few interesting wardrobe decisions to consider. Some that even beg the question: What were they thinking? Joan would totally be suspicious.

Check out what we imagine had to be running through these celeb’s head as they were getting ready for the red carpet.

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I owned a pair of Crocs once. They were pink and super comfortable. I used them as shower shoes my freshman year of college, but I would never be caught dead wearing them in public. Soon they became gross and mildew-ish, so I threw them out. This was probably due less to the fact that they were old and dirty but to the fact that I was teased constantly by my friends on my floor for owning such an ugly pair of shoes.

I don’t know if it’s the style, the loud colors or just the general public opinion that Crocs are ugly that makes them so easy to poke fun at, but we all do. Here’s the thing though: the Crocs company sells shoes and other products that are even uglier than their trademark shoe! Hard to process, I know, but take a look.

Kirsten Dunst wore this Rodate Spring 2012 dress to the Museum of Contemporary Arts Gala earlier this week. She is the first celebrity to wear the new-season empire gown, which featured a strapless bodice and aqua and lace tiers. She paired it with pretty makeup and 40s style hair, diamond jewellery and a Chanel clutch.

I am just really not feeling this dress. Maybe it’s because I’m curvy, but I just don’t feel shapeless dresses. It also seems to be a little bit too big for her and hangs kinda awkwardly. Without her hand on her hip, her whole shape kinda gets lost. I’m not a massive fan of the colour either- I know it’s a big thing to wear next season, but it just feels kinda inappropriate and weird to be wearing such a summery colour, and such a summery style, in the middle of November. There just seems to be something missing, whether that’s a more-dramatic eye, a bolder lip, dazzling shoes or stand-out accessories, but the look just seems to feel a little incomplete.

In the words of editor Alex, “She looks she’s wearing a 1950s shower curtain/pregnant lady mumu.” But what do you think, hot or hot mess?

When you’re walking around the streets of New York City, you’re bound to see just about every type of fashion known to man. However, recently I’ve been spotting something just terrible, over and over again. Middle aged moms rocking brands that should be forgotten about completely after finishing your last set of SATs  and sending in your deposit slip for college.

I can’t figure out why they are wearing these clothes. There are cheaper and much more stylish alternatives out there without the obnoxious branding that we thought was so totally cool as teenagers. It seems like just yesterday I was begging my parents to buy me the latest grey sweater and matching tank from Abercrombie as my birthday present.  And while this list of stores is a pretty awesome blast from the past, they should be left to girls fretting about Prom, acne, and learning how to drive.

2008 was an interesting year for fashion. Gone (thankfully) were the maternity tops of 2007, replaced by blasts from the past inspirations from the 20s through the days of our best pals on Beverly Hills 90210. We saw everything from the mom-jean to the 90s flannel button down. Some of it was fab, and some of it… not so much. So, let’s take a look at this year’s fashion highs and fashion oh-hell-no’s.

Because without the crap we can’t appreciate the couture.

Here are my top 5 fashion must-haves from 2008:

The High Waist

Sure we spent years trying to get people to stop wearing them only to bring them right back in, but let’s face it: we should be thankful that we don’t have to look at butt cracks and muffin tops a day longer. These pants look good on just about everyone… as long as they aren’t acid washed…or paired with a denim jacket.

The Vintage Scarf

There is something about Hollywood starting trends of cold-weather wear in warm weather regions that seems to catch on like hot fire. First we saw Uggs popularity soar back in 2003 with stars in shorts and boots trudging around LA. This year it was the scarf that made its way to the West Coast. Everywhere you turned, there was Jessica Alba in another fabulously printed scarf. These colorful scarves spruced up wardrobes, covered hickies (for those of you who still get them), and made any drab outfit instantly chic.

The Plaid or Gingham T

I was admittedly resistant to this trend at first. After all, my brothers wore these with hiking boots and Cavariccis to high school back in 1996. I didn’t like them then and I didn’t think I would like them now. Until designers – from the Couture to Forever 21 – made them tailored and colorful and so. freakin. cute, especially when tucked into a pair of those mom jeans I’ve come to love so much.

The Belt

Whereas 2007 was all about hiding that belly under too-big tops, 2008 brought us the cinched waist. Thank you, fashion peeps of the world! Now everything – jackets, dresses, tops – come paired with a belt for an instantly chic and flattering look. The best part: you can take all those maternity shirts from last year and glam ‘em up instantly with this year’s hottest accessory. And if by chance you get knocked up? Just remove that belt and, Viola!

Bright Colors

The little black dress was obsolete this year with the addition of bright colors and jewel tones. Seriously, everywhere you walked looked like a gay pride parade! You name your favorite Crayola crayon color and I will find you a shirt, dress and pair of skinny jeans in that hue.

The Oh-Hell-No Looks of 2008:

One-Piece Jumpers

I don’t care if Rhianna rocked them; they look good on no one. Unless, of course, you are a fan of the camel toe.

Leather Leggings

Leggings as pants can be tricky when not worn in a flattering way. Add the fact that they are leather and you have yourself a recipe for disaster. Leather leggings make women look like they are walking on lumpy sausages. Does that sound even remotely sexy to you? I didn’t think so. These bad boys are never flattering. Not ever. Not even for a second.

“Hey. I can get you into the Bon Jovi concert at Madison Square Garden tonight if you can get down here in 20 minutes.”

I sat on my futon, Cheerios on my knees, hair tied into a messy bun, body exhausted from a typically exhausting Monday, and considered this offer. Am I a big Bon Jovi fan? Not really. But tickets for this thing were going for thousands of dollars, it’s Madison f*cking Square Garden, and breaking up my nightly pattern of Reality TV watching and cereal eating wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Plus, where else could I wear my acid-washed cutoff mom jeans? (Note: this last sentence is not true.)

After putting on my make-up as fast as I could (and hoping the lights would be in full “80′s glow mode” to keep the rest of my post-work face at bay), I slapped on some clothes and tried to tease my hair as high as it would go (Note: this may not be true). I then pushed past the milieu of yuppies on my block and jumped into a cab.

Once en-route, I chatted with the strangely friendly cabbie about where I was going, and he immediately offered $2,000 for my ticket. After telling him I did not indeed have the ticket on my person, he said he would “pull over at the Garden, park the cab, and get my ticket” with me, and then hand over the cash. I doubted he had $2,000 on him, and I can’t imagine how my friend would have reacted to have seen an old cabbie wearing a drug rug in my seat instead of me, so I politely thanked him, tipped him well, and ran inside.

This story could get mighty long if I continued to narrate the entire adventure, so let’s just list some of things I learned / saw once I was surrounded by Jovi mania:

1) Cutoff jeans are the official Bon Jovi fan summer accessory. Shirts with the arms ripped off are also fashion forward for a Jovi fan, as is platinum blond hair with crazy obvious roots.

2) Being a ticket-taker at the Garden during Jovi mania, and denying a few bedazzled teenagers access to the audience will get you a smackdown that sounds like this, “Whatever! We’ll just do whatever! You probably just want to have sex in your ticket booth or whatever! We’re gonna kick the window in! My dad is a lawyer and if he wasn’t vacationing at the Jersey Shore right now he’d kick your ass! F*ck you, you hate Bon Jovi!!“

3) If you stand in front of a woman with radical blonde highlights who is singing / screaming off-tune with John Bon throughout his entire set, your ears will sting real bad the next morning.

4) A guy who dances and moves his arms around exactly like Bon Jovi is weird, and will reveal his weirdness slowly throughout the night, staring at you with increasing intensity.

5) Jovi, as expected, will wear not only a black leather vest with no shirt underneath, but also a flowing red shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest for his signature song “Bed of Roses” (a song which has the very earnest line, “With an ironclad fist I wake up and French kiss the morning“)

6) There will be people from all walks of life at this concert, but mostly, there will be people who somehow buried themselves in a time capsule dated “1986″ and left it for the sole purpose of seeing Jovi at Madison Square Garden

7) No matter how cool you think you are, it’s impossible not to throw your arms up and scream the chorus of “Living on a Prayer”

The VMA performances weren’t the only things that sucked last night – the fashion sucked, too!

Yes, there were some winners in my book – Rihanna and Alisha’s dresses were pretty kick-ass.

But seriously, guys and their trendy little shiny suits aside, the ladies showed up at the VMA’s looking like cheap, unintelliegent whores, The Statue of Libery, or some one’s super slutty grandmother.

“Edgy” award show or not, I don’t understand how women with so much money make such poor style choices.

I mean, if nothing else, stick a passifier in your mouth at least. At LEAST. Oh yea. Some one did that. Gorgeous.

See the red carpet looks after the jump.

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