Lesson #43 – Don’t Fall For A Weed In A Flower’s Suit

When I was younger, I used to spend afternoons collecting bouquets of what I thought, at the time, were wildflowers. When I skipped into my house, unaware of the mud stains on my clothes, and too consumed with my new bunch of handpicked flowers, my mother would always shake her head and laugh at me. As she put my handpicked bouquet into a paper cup, she’d smile and say, “These are just weeds with cute outfits.” Looking back, I wish I would’ve taken her input more seriously, because as soon as I started dating, I quickly learned her advice applied to more than just gardening.

When it comes to guys, why is that the worst weeds disguise themselves as flowers? As my luck would’ve have it, the most annoying weeds that I can’t seem to get rid of in my dating life were the guys that caught my eye first. This theory even goes beyond looks. (Not to say I haven’t been drawn to an impeccably dressed guy rocking a crisp Brooks Brothers’ shirt and tie, only to realize that his good sense of style was just about the only good thing about him…) It seems like the life of the party guy — who may not even be the most attractive flower in the bunch, but certainly had the most entertaining personality — has also turned out to be one of the biggest weeds in my life. Read More »

Despite what She’s All That claimed during our formative middle-school years, no amount of makeup-free-artistic lonely girl can transform a douchebag into a gentleman. However we all like to believe that we are Belle and if we just love them enough (and listen to the talking cupboard) we can turn every beast into a prince. But at the end of the night (week, month, serious relationship) we’re still left with the same douchebag.

So, in order to stop just one girl from going home with that guy, I’ve compiled a list of three telltale signs that he should be avoided.

1. Blazer and a t-shirt

I have yet to figure out why guys think this outfit is anywhere near attractive. While I guess there is some advantage of knowing that they can go straight to the gym and/or a job interview with just a quick change, there’s something unsettling about the two looks meshing. If they can’t be bothered to decide between the business-casual look and the casual-casual look, chances are they won’t be bothered with remembering your name and number post hook-up. So unless you find yourself wearing a dress and sneakers out to the bars, I would recommend steering clear of this.

Read More »

Where are the non-creepers?

As a woman in the prime of my single-dom, I am fixated on having fun, and – in the midst of my fun – wouldn’t mind finding Prince Charming. You know, funny, passionate, driven, cute.  The traditional barf-inducing list could go a mile long.  But lately, I have been noticing a recurring trend in the battlefield of love (aka local bar/library) and it has been happening to me a lot lately (insert sad face).

The scenario goes a little like this: guy approaches me at the bar, we make small talk, I calculate he is not my type.  The next thing I know, he is following me around the bar as if his goal in life is to creep my socks off, or fall madly in love with me.

And that’s the end of my story… and my interactions with the opposite sex. Read More »

Despite what She’s All That claimed during our formative middle-school years, no amount of makeup-free-artistic lonely girl can transform a douchebag into a gentleman. However we all like to believe that we are Belle and if we just love them enough (and listen to the talking cupboard) we can turn every beast into a prince. But at the end of the night (week, month, serious relationship) we’re still left with the same douchebag.

So, in order to stop just one girl from going home with that guy, I’ve compiled a list of three telltale signs that he should be avoided.

1. Blazer and a t-shirt

I have yet to figure out why guys think this outfit is anywhere near attractive. While I guess there is some advantage of knowing that they can go straight to the gym and/or a job interview with just a quick change, there’s something unsettling about the two looks meshing. If they can’t be bothered to decide between the business-casual look and the casual-casual look, chances are they won’t be bothered with remembering your name and number post hook-up. So unless you find yourself wearing a dress and sneakers out to the bars, I would recommend steering clear of this. Read More »

Ah my dream guy, he is tall, dark, handsome, sweet, sincere, funny, and the list goes on until he is well, perfect. (Note: Not the guy to the right.)

I know, I know, there is no such thing as the “perfect” guy (so says my mother) but there is nothing wrong with having a list of qualities (doesn’t pick his nose, even when I am not looking, will rub my shoulders at the snap of my fingers) that I want in a potential boyfriend right? Right.

But after reading this article in the NYT, I have started to realize that while focusing so much on the type of guy I DO want (Has Jake Gyllenhaal broken up with Reese yet?!) perhaps I haven’t realized that there are certain types I DON’T. Things that maybe weren’t even a blip on my guy-dar and if not heeded could end up blowing up in my face.

So here it is ladies: The Guys Not Worth Taking, Dating, Marrying and the like:

Never date a dude who has no friends. At first, this rule seems a bit odd- if he has no friends, he will be close to me and only me! How wonderfully fantastic!! That is until you realize… no friends means the guy is unable to be intimate or close to anyone… yes, even you.

Besides, that means you will always feel guilty leaving him alone and friendless on a girls night out. Read More »