The other day, I was tricked into going to Costco with my Mom. I just really wanted an excuse to wear my SWEET new rain galoshes, so I agreed to go on what I knew would be a torturously long errand. I soon found myself wandering the massive aisles, bored out of my mind, considering buying 600 plastic forks, just so I could use one to poke out my eyes. Maybe then I could go home?

I figured this was a bad idea, so I meandered over to health and beauty, where I knew I could find something to occupy myself with. And then I saw it– a Smashbox Picture Perfect Kit with eyeshadow quad, mini lip gloss trio (with pink leather mirrored case!), mascara, and face highlighter– for $19.99!! The kit came with detailed instructions on how to apply the makeup, much like other cosmetics brands that are now taking the guesswork out of makeup application . I snatched it, threw it inconspicuously into Mom’s cart and tore it open as soon as we were in the car.

Opening up the new makeup kit felt exactly the same way it did that very first time. My Grandma (against my mother’s desperate pleas not to) bought me a GIANT pink and purple kit full of awful pink lipsticks, hooker-blue eye shadow, fake mascara, fucshia blush and glitter, glitter, sweet glitter when I was three. It was then that I fell in love with makeup. I put on all of my face decorations, just like mommy did, every day before I left my house. I sometimes had loaded my face so full of makeup that it couldn’t take anymore, and, consequently, I applied some to my helpless baby brother.

Which brings me to my point. Read More »

My roomie once said, in a conversation that I very much regret missing, “You know, I could see why you would trim your bush if it got a little out of hand…but I don’t know why the hell you would cut the whole thing down. It just makes your lawn look funny!” And, no, we were not talking about horticulture.

Au naturale doesn’t really seem to be the method of style in female nether regions. It supposedly looks neater when it’s taken care of. I know a lot of girls who keep themselves trimmed, and quite a few who wax. It’s easier than shaving, I’ve heard said. You don’t get the obnoxious bumps that you normally get when you shave that inevitably leads to impromptu itchy dances. Not to mention it’s a lot neater and it takes longer to grow back. I never really supported it; it didn’t even seem like it was worth the effort to me, not to mention I’m not sure how I feel about men who want their women’s parts to look prepubescent. Still, I’d heard so much… Read More »