I apologize to those of you who just threw up in your mouth. But look at the bright side – at least this isn’t your mother.

Although, don’t get too excited about that silver lining because she is the mother of four human beings. At least we’re assuming that they’re human beings. I suppose that when you have fangs and horns, you could possibly give birth to the Antichrist. But let’s not worry about that. Let’s just assume they are human children and worry about them.

Just imagine if that was the face waking you up for school every day. Or worse, if that was the face yelling at you for staying out past your curfew. Suddenly your mom’s insistence on wearing skorts isn’t that embarrassing.

Get the full story on the Vampire Woman here.

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4 things every man wants in a woman

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Body Chemistry 101: sweat

This is just bad.

Pamela Anderson tries another path…

Let’s put an end to camel toe!

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This is why birth control exists.

Who the eff is styling Rihanna these days?

Aw, so cute! Thank god she belongs to someone else!

I have this problem and it seems as though other girls I know simply don’t have it.

The problem: I don’t want a baby.

Earlier this morning, I watched a two-year-old (with an English accent!) walking around and laughing, and he was hilariously cute. I smiled. I said things like, “Aww…he’s so smart!” And I truly meant the things I said. I truly thought he was adorable. But seeing a kid and thinking that kid is adorable doesn’t make me want one.

I love being an aunt. My niece and nephew are absolutely amazing and I, like many proud aunts and uncles, think they’re flawless godsends. There’s nothing they can do to make me love them any less than I already do.

But I just don’t want any babies of my own. Read More »

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