In the middle of my sophomore year of college, a tall, charismatic boy with a shock of blonde hair confessed to me that he thought I was intoxicating and very pretty. Unfortunately, this assertion came in the wake of a poorly hewn explanation of his current opposition to dating anyone, despite having expressed days before, after a dinner date, that a relationship with me was his ultimate goal.

I met Jacob* at the beginning of the school year, but didn’t get to know him until early November. He was forward but gentlemanly from the start — getting my number, inviting me places, telling me he liked me, asking if he could kiss me (I declined for reasons to be discussed), taking me out on a date, baking for me — all in the space of about two weeks. I told him repeatedly that I liked him and liked getting to know him better, but that was all I knew. I didn’t want to entertain ideas that might not come to fruition. The attention was nice; however, as someone who’s prone to crushin’ hard, I try to appraise dating situations objectively. Others sometimes misrepresent themselves (some don’t even have your best intentions at heart) and trusting too easily means getting hurt later. This was the right perspective to have, but I didn’t realize soon enough just how much I didn’t read into his exclamations enough. Read More »

Lesson 41 – Don’t Ask For Advice You Don’t Intend On Taking

There you are, shaking your head again, because somehow (perhaps under the influence of a little Grey Goose and Sarah Dessen) you’ve wandered into dangerous territory yet again. So you fell in love with a fool. Who hasn’t? And it seems that every time you’re left to your own devices, you wake up covered in his sheets and your own shame. And even though you refer to him as a soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion, he’s always been your soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion. But just because he’s a fool doesn’t mean you have to be one too.

The way I see it is that if you’re going to go out of your way to beg your friends for advice on how to fall out of love with a man who clearly has no regard for your feelings, than you need to go out of your way to at least try and take their advice. So many times I’ve given my closest girlfriends pep talks that they’ve requested, to deter them from their loser ex-boyfriends, and so many times it’s like they haven’t listened at all as they race back to him and the bedding his mother probably purchased for him. If you have no intention of taking your friend’s advice, especially after you practically begged for it, then please do them a favor and stop asking for it. Read More »

Far too often while dating in college we mistake little quirky qualities and pet peeves as things we can simply overlook. Perhaps we have, in the backs of our minds, the notion that dating in college these days is so non-traditional that our dating criteria can also be non-traditional. I can assure you: this is NOT the case. As we all know by now, communication is key to both progress and success, so talking about these things now will only help better your relationship in the long run. But what about those things that we don’t see? The tell-tale signs that your relationship is taking a turn for the worse, that for some reason you haven’t seemed to notice? We like to call these “red flags,” and apparently we’re pretty good at ignoring them when we don’t want to admit to the reality of things: the guy we’re dating is a complete douche and it’s time to give him the boot. To save you all the trouble (and potential heartache), I present to you the 10 red flags we tend to ignore most… Read More »

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Relationships can be great — always having someone to cuddle with, vent to, and share your favorite things with – but unfortunately things don’t always go as smoothly as planned. Sometimes once you get to know a person — once you spend more than a few month’s worth of sexy nights with them — you realize that maybe things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

Let’s get really honest for a second — most of us have stayed in a relationship or two far past its expiration date. Sometimes we get too blinded by the bright shiny light of love to realize when a relationship has become toxic and needs to be over. Breaking up isn’t easy, I know, but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

If you’re having problems figuring out whether to stay or go, here are some things that scream “it’s over”… or should be.

Abuse. Under no circumstances should you be staying with a person who is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive. You can do better, I promise. If your partner is hurting you in any way, get out — and fast. If you need some help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Lack of respect. For you, your space, your family, your friends, your dreams, the list goes on. Respect is one of the most basic of things you should be expecting from a significant other, and if that’s not there it’s time to pack your bags.

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College is undoubtedly the era of ambiguous relationships, blurred boundaries, commitment phobia, and cheating cheating cheating.

I met this guy out one night during my freshman year and we really hit it off. Red cups in hand, making some great intoxicated conversation when he suddenly declared, “You’re definitely a breakfast girl.”

Unsure what this meant, I curiously questioned the meaning of his statement the next day over lunch with my best guy friend. He laughed as he explained that a breakfast girl is a girl you’d hook up with and actually want to grab breakfast with the next morning.

To be dubbed a breakfast girl was apparently, some sort of slutty man’s compliment.

I got to thinking, how would I know to whom I was a breakfast girl, and to whom I’d simply be that nameless ‘score’ last Friday? Clearly, this is a troubling question for college girls everywhere. How many times have you heard your girls (or even yourself) make excuses in order to justify or rationalize bad relationships. Read More »