Hey Dude,

So I’ve been hooking up with this guy for about two months. After about a month and a half he confronted me at a party that he needed more out of the relationship and wanted to “get to know me better.” For the next week things were great. Fast forward one week and I don’t hear from him at all. I text him a few times and don’t hear back. I asked him to talk and when he called me he got very defensive. He said that he was not a guy that will text me or call me during the week and then he couldn’t be in any sort of relationship. I then reminded him that I was not looking for a relationship and that he was the one who initiated the original conversation. He’s out of town for the next two weeks and we left it that we would see each other when he gets back. How can I salvage the hooking up part of the relationship without seeming like I want a relationship (because I don’t)? And why would he contradict himself like that?

-Confused College Girl Read More »

The title pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? I mean, this isn’t exactly rocket science, this is common f*cking sense. Which not everyone is born with or develops. A lot of guys out there are assholes. They are. Certainly EVERYONE has the potential to ACT like an asshole every once in a while. So the question becomes, how do you know if this is who he is or how he’s acting in the moment? There are tons of ways to tell, and it doesn’t take very long to discern. George Carlin claimed you could know within 5 minutes of talking to someone. Here are 11 signs he’s an asshole…

initiating the gallery...

And there you have it, Ladies, 11 signs he’s an a-hole. I’m positive I missed a ton. What do you agree with? Disagree with? Think should have been on the list? Do you have a Top 10 Signs list as well? Fire away in the comments below…oh, and for those of you who think I’m being bias by just singling out the boys…just you wait.

Only funny things are jokes to me,

The Dude

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Rumor has it that Chris Brown is the ‘shocking’ guest to appear on Rihanna’s ‘Birthday Cake’ track. Is this for real? That shit cray. The fact that this is even circulating is so disappointing. Surely a woman talented enough to be one of the top-selling artists in the world at 24 is smarter than this? I understand that people make mistakes (or totally f*ck up in Brown’s case), and I do believe it is possible for them to earn the privilege of a second chance. But there is a certain responsibility Rihanna has (whether fair or not) that comes with being a influential pop icon. For an artist whose success is founded on songs of female empowerment, this sends a pretty mixed message. There is nothing ‘hard’ about being in a physically abusive relationship. And it’s not like Chris Brown has been working to change his ‘I’m quite possibly the biggest douche in the world’ image. No one should think Chris is a ‘new man’ after the Grammy twitter fiasco. Read More »

Relationships can be great — always having someone to cuddle with, vent to, and share your favorite things with – but unfortunately things don’t always go as smoothly as planned. Sometimes once you get to know a person — once you spend more than a few month’s worth of sexy nights with them — you realize that maybe things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

Let’s get really honest for a second — most of us have stayed in a relationship or two far past its expiration date. Sometimes we get too blinded by the bright shiny light of love to realize when a relationship has become toxic and needs to be over. Breaking up isn’t easy, I know, but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

If you’re having problems figuring out whether to stay or go, here are some things that scream “it’s over”… or should be.

Abuse. Under no circumstances should you be staying with a person who is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive. You can do better, I promise. If your partner is hurting you in any way, get out — and fast. If you need some help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Lack of respect. For you, your space, your family, your friends, your dreams, the list goes on. Respect is one of the most basic of things you should be expecting from a significant other, and if that’s not there it’s time to pack your bags. Read More »

We’ve all been there. A few times. You meet a guy who seems awesome–he’s super cute, funny, charming and has a fabulous job or some sexy artistic ability. Over martinis with the girls you gush about how great he is and how much you have in common. I mean, you’ve just met, but you’re practically soul mates, right? I’ll speak from personal experience. I’m attracted to confident, beautiful and talented men. I can’t help it. It’s not about a certain ‘type’ or laundry list of criteria, because those three adjectives can fit a number of looks and occupations. My friends will tell you that I date ass-holes. Do I like falling for these guys? No. No girl does. And it’s not about nice guys finishing last. It’s about a rarity in a particular combination of desirable characteristics. Stay with me.  Most confident, beautiful and talented men humans are a bit self-centered. Because they can be. Is it possible for confident, beautiful and talented people to also be kind, selfless and good? Absolutely. They are just harder to find.

In all my years of dating douche bags, my radar has become incredibly keen. I have compiled a list of red flags that communicate your man is not worth it and should be dropped immediately. He won’t change for you, and he won’t change for the girl he meets after you (although she may be insecure enough to put up with him). Read More »

In the middle of my sophomore year of college, a tall, charismatic boy with a shock of blonde hair confessed to me that he thought I was intoxicating and very pretty. Unfortunately, this assertion came in the wake of a poorly hewn explanation of his current opposition to dating anyone, despite having expressed days before, after a dinner date, that a relationship with me was his ultimate goal.

I met Jacob* at the beginning of the school year, but didn’t get to know him until early November. He was forward but gentlemanly from the start — getting my number, inviting me places, telling me he liked me, asking if he could kiss me (I declined for reasons to be discussed), taking me out on a date, baking for me — all in the space of about two weeks. I told him repeatedly that I liked him and liked getting to know him better, but that was all I knew. I didn’t want to entertain ideas that might not come to fruition. The attention was nice; however, as someone who’s prone to crushin’ hard, I try to appraise dating situations objectively. Others sometimes misrepresent themselves (some don’t even have your best intentions at heart) and trusting too easily means getting hurt later. This was the right perspective to have, but I didn’t realize soon enough just how much I didn’t read into his exclamations enough. Read More »

Lesson 41 – Don’t Ask For Advice You Don’t Intend On Taking

There you are, shaking your head again, because somehow (perhaps under the influence of a little Grey Goose and Sarah Dessen) you’ve wandered into dangerous territory yet again. So you fell in love with a fool. Who hasn’t? And it seems that every time you’re left to your own devices, you wake up covered in his sheets and your own shame. And even though you refer to him as a soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion, he’s always been your soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion. But just because he’s a fool doesn’t mean you have to be one too.

The way I see it is that if you’re going to go out of your way to beg your friends for advice on how to fall out of love with a man who clearly has no regard for your feelings, than you need to go out of your way to at least try and take their advice. So many times I’ve given my closest girlfriends pep talks that they’ve requested, to deter them from their loser ex-boyfriends, and so many times it’s like they haven’t listened at all as they race back to him and the bedding his mother probably purchased for him. If you have no intention of taking your friend’s advice, especially after you practically begged for it, then please do them a favor and stop asking for it. Read More »

Far too often while dating in college we mistake little quirky qualities and pet peeves as things we can simply overlook. Perhaps we have, in the backs of our minds, the notion that dating in college these days is so non-traditional that our dating criteria can also be non-traditional. I can assure you: this is NOT the case. As we all know by now, communication is key to both progress and success, so talking about these things now will only help better your relationship in the long run. But what about those things that we don’t see? The tell-tale signs that your relationship is taking a turn for the worse, that for some reason you haven’t seemed to notice? We like to call these “red flags,” and apparently we’re pretty good at ignoring them when we don’t want to admit to the reality of things: the guy we’re dating is a complete douche and it’s time to give him the boot. To save you all the trouble (and potential heartache), I present to you the 10 red flags we tend to ignore most… Read More »