Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I love my life. I’m really happy. Everything is great. I go to a good school and I’m doing well. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love. I have great friends who I hang out with all the time. The problem is my roommate. She doesn’t like me. I don’t know why. I’ve done my best to be nice with her but she just doesn’t like me.

It started about a week after we moved in together. My best friend and I were supposed to live together in the dorm we lived in last year, but she was on the waiting list for a study abroad and she got it at the last minute over the summer. So I moved in and met my new roommate, let’s call her T, and at first we got along fine. But it seems like the more we live together the more I get on her nerves. She studies a lot so I try to be quiet, but I live here too! When I come in late at night, I’m always quiet, but she says just the door opening wakes her up. She wakes me up in the morning when she gets up really early, but I’m not complaining!

She also has a problem with my boyfriend coming over, so I try to only have him over if she’s not going to be around. But we made a deal at the beginning of the first semester that he could crash at our room one day a week if it was on the weekend. I have never had him stay over more than one day of the weekend and sometimes I just crash at his place to avoid it all together. But now she wants to change it so that he can never sleep over.

She seems to think I’m some out of control party girl, but I think I’m just a regular college student. I go out at night and I have a boyfriend but I definitely have never slept around — been with the same guy for 2 years! — and I am a good student. I’ve tried to be nice to her, and I’ve even tried to hang out with her to try to get to know her better, but she just doesn’t like me and it’s making everything really uncomfortable in my own room. What should I do?

Bad Roommate

Dear Bad Roommate,

Girl, you have been more than reasonable. This bloop needs to get a clue. You are BOTH paying to live in the dorms, right? I mean, she isn’t paying for your half, right?!?!?! RIGHT?!??!!

Now, if you were being totally unreasonable and having the BF stay over constantly against her wishes, I would have told you you were being unreasonable. BUT!!! The two of you (very maturely) made an agreement at the beginning of living together that it was okay if he stayed over as long as it was only once a week on weekends. And you say that’s what you’ve been doing. So…what’s her problem?! She can’t rewrite the rules now!!!

And this business about how the door wakes her up if you come in at night — too flooping bad!!! I’m sorry, but you both live there, and, as long as you’re being quiet when you come in, I don’t see how she has the right to tell you what time you have to be home.

I do not get this girl. I do not get her at all. Well, no, that’s not true. I GET her. I just don’t LIKE her.

Seems to me she wants to be judgmental of your lifestyle because it isn’t hers. And that is never, ever cool. I think you need to sit her down and have a talk. Explain that you’re following the rules the two of you set up, and you’d like to be as considerate of her as possible without completely changing your lifestyle. Hear her out. Hopefully she’ll be reasonable and you guys can hug it out.

But, frankly, I doubt it. She’ll probably be uptight and nasty, in which case I urge you to say: “I’m so sorry you feel that way. I hope we can be civil and get along well enough to live together. If not, maybe you’d like to switch rooms.” And that’s that.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

In The Roommate, Leighton Meester plays Rebecca, who befriends her dorm-mate Sara. It seems like they’re becoming besties until Rebecca gets obsessed with Sara, putting both her and her friends in some serious danger. While we all have our roommate drama, Rebecca is seriously, one crazy roommate. Promise, yours will look like a saint next to her!

Can’t wait for the movie? You’ll have to wait till it hits theaters February 4, but in the meantime, you can enter to win a grand prize of $1000 in gift cards so you can give your dorm or bedroom the ultimate makeover!

Have a roommate you actually like? Send her this link and you can both enter to win! Two (2) first prize winners will also get $500 gift cards — so unless you have a psycho roomie who’s cut off your Internet, what are you waiting for?! Enter now!

For a long while (ahem, code for way too long) I dated a guy a little younger than me.  And by dated, I mean every Friday night, we would get together after an intense evening partying and make out like wild animals.

We were pretty serious about our business.  We would run off from parties, and cozy up in his car.  We would sneak into my apartment when the roommates weren’t home and make out on my dirty, toothpaste stained sink.  We would frolic through the side streets from parties, making out like bunny rabbits. We would rush up to the bathroom of any party and eat each others faces off. Anywhere we could go in “private,” we would go.

One morning, after a particularly awesome night with my fave younger man, I woke up pretty early to go to the bathroom.  My make out king was sleeping soundly, so I tried not to wake him as I crawled to my demise.  In the bathroom (which conjoined the only two bedrooms in our suite that we all shared), I was welcomed by a bodily fluid surprise.  The entire bathroom was completely painted in urine.   The walls, the ocean scene shower curtain, the toilet seat, the ceiling, the door, the towels, the everything. Covered in urine.

My eyes bugged out, and I stood frozen.  A girl absolutely could not make this happen with the constraint of having a va-jay-jay.  This was a complete man-made mess.  My angry roommate showed up on the other side of the bathroom and gave me a look I would imagine getting before my head was cut off.  Kevin showed up behind me and looked around the bathroom in embarrassment.  I looked up at him slowly and was face-to face with two hickeys the size of Texas.

My roommate snorted from the other end,

“You might want to get some concealer for those marks on your neck…oh and have fun cleaning this up.” Needless to say the romance fizzled after we spent 6 hours bleaching away the smell the his piss.

[You think that's bad? Check out our other cringe-worthy Morning After stories.]

The Huffington Post created this gem of a slideshow several days ago.  Liz O’Neill claims that the usual reasons your roommates loathe you (you’re a slob, a mooch, etc.) are veils for deeper, subtler issues. Actually, they hate you because you are prettier than them. And, you’re going to make more money than them in a few years!

As I read this, I felt like I was listening to a mother stroke her child’s ego. The different hate-causing categories of behavior Ms. O’Neill gives are bizarre. And, based on my own college experiences, totally ludicrous (I mean, seriously? My roommates don’t like me because I have a diary? Seriously?).

So, here are the REAL 7 reasons your college roommates hate you. And sorry – we’re not going to sugar-coat these bad boys.

1.     You’re a Bad Drunk

You’re as sweet as candy during the day. But, after a few shots, you’re slurring your words. You’re cursing like a sailor. You’re losing all functionality in your limbs. As your roommates carry you home, vomit decorating your Sevens, you tell them you hate them and they all suck. The next morning, you feel awful, but you can’t understand why everyone’s so mad because you remember nothing. Well, newsflash: Your roommates hate you because, actually, you’re the one that really sucks.

2.     You’re a Kleptomaniac

When you’re getting ready for work in the morning, hours before your roommates roll out of bed, you steal some Bumble and Bumble hair product from the medicine cabinet. Later that night, when you’re craving a late-night study snack, you grab a bag of your pretzels. Ick, they’re stale. So, you eat your roommate’s instead. When you realize you ate an obvious amount, you throw a few of the stale ones into your roommate’s bag of Snyder’s. You never borrow anything massive, but all the little things add up daily. And she notices.

3.     You Have a 3^rd Roommate… Every Night

Visitors: You love them in the morning, and in the afternoon. You love them in the evening, and underneath the moon. Well, guess what? Your roommate doesn’t. She’s tired of getting sexiled the night before her Econ exam or looming research paper deadline. Learn to keep it in your pants or start dividing your time between your house and your special friend’s to ease the roommate tension.

4.     You’re Messy

Your hair is clogging the shower drain. You left your underwear and smelly workout clothes in the middle of the room. You snacked on some ice cream and frosting and left the dirty bowl and silverwear underneath the couch. You left your dirty pad on the bathroom floor. And now your roommate wants to go all Snooki WWE on you.

5.     You’re Always on the Phone

“OMG!! NO WAY…HE DID NOT!” you shout while your roommate tries to watch the episode of Glee she missed on her laptop. After you hang up, you hear a notification on your computer. Sammy wants to Skype! You click accept, and begin chatting away. We get it: staying in touch with home friends is important in college. However, be respectful of your roommate’s space. She doesn’t want to hear every little detail of Sammy’s life. Or the other 132 people you talk to weekly. Hold the phone (or video chat) until she’s out of the room.

6.     You Love the Snooze Button

Oh, you snoozed 7 times this morning? 3 hours before your roommate needed to be up for class? Yeah, I wonder why she’s pissed.

7.     You’re Passive Aggressive

When something is really bothering you (like the Klepto, Snooze-pressing, insanely sloppy roommate), you are cold. You monosyllabically answer their friendly questions. When they ask you what’s wrong, you say nothing. Welcome to the land of Passive Aggressivia. Population: You. If you want to stop disliking your roommate, you need to actually let them know they are doing something that’s bothering you instead of hoping they’ll get the message. Speak up and you’ll quickly be on the road to a better college-living life.

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#7: Slob-ka-bob

Okay, so here at CollegeCandy we are all about rewarding good roommate behavior. But this little contest got me thinking about all the problematic things that roommates do.

I know I’m not 100% perfect as a roommate, and I’ve been guilty of being a hot mess roommate (Sarah, if you’re reading this, I’m still sorry I never filled the ice cube trays. Or scrubbed the bathroom like you did!) as well. But come on, there are just some unforgivable awful roommates. Let’s count ‘em down, and share your worst roommate (or how you’re not exactly worthy of a hot TJ Maxx room) stories in the comments.

10. Sorority of One
Okay, so we all know that “no man is an island,” but no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get this girl to have a social life. Friday night? Time to play computer games. Saturday night? In bed by 8:00. This roommate just does not want to have fun, socialize or involve herself in any curricular activities. Even worse, she just plain never leaves your dorm/apartment. Ugh!

9. The ghost
Sometimes a blessing, the ghost is never in the apartment. Sure, she pays rent, the cable and electric bills but you would never even know she’s a resident. As for her whereabouts, who knows where she is? She doesn’t divulge details and is a completely MIA roomie.

8. Her-and-her-boyfriend
You thought you were living with just one girl, but then her boy toy starting staying. One night. Then two. Then every damn night of the week. He invades your shower time, drinks your milk, doesn’t pay rent and wastes space. Final straw? When he sets up his Xbox in the living room. Wtf!

7. Slob-ka-bob
This girl is a hot mess. And I don’t mean the fun Lindsay Lohan kind. I’m talking dirty dishes and clothes everywhere. There’s no way you can walk through the apartment without tripping over something she’s left in the middle of the floor and you’re pretty sure she hasn’t emptied her garbage in months. Not to mention, she’s always “busy” on chore day and can’t be bothered to sweep, vacuum, scrub or wash anything. Ever. Gross.

6. Obsessively Clean Chick
On the flip side of the slob-ka-bob you have the psychotic neat freak. You put your glass of juice down on a coaster and go to the bathroom? Come back and it’s already sparkling clean and put away. Accidentally leave your keys on the counter? They’re hung up on the labeled key rack within moments. Sure, this seems great at first, but then when your roommate accuses you of being a slob-kabob just because you left the Cheezits box out ONE time after a night of hard partying, it starts to get annoying. Chill out, chica.

5. The Snoozer
Does this girl even take classes? She sleeps at all hours of the day and never seems to go anywhere other than her bed. She can barely push through 3 hours of the day without needing a nap.

4. The Red Light District Diva
Different guy every night. From the bar-randos to her consistent hookups, rarely will a weekend pass without some dude in bed with this girl. Not a big deal, right? Try sharing a bunk bed with a girl who gets more action than Vinny Chase. Ew.

3. The Hamburgular
She eats your food, drinks your Svedka, ‘borrows” your clothes and never replaces anything. Ever. When accused, she’ll make you feel like the crazy one. Don’t be fooled, those brand new Seven jeans just don’t “disappear.”

2. The Substance Abuser
It is one thing to drink on the weekends. It’s another to come home on a Tuesday night, drunk as a skunk and trying to keep partying. Not to mention, try living with a roomie who’s down with drugs. 24/7. And not just the “light” stuff. Do you really want a dealer in your living room at 3 AM? Lose this roomie nightmare immediately.

1. That Roommate
That roommate embodies all the above and so much more. We’ve all had them, fought with them, held their hair back when they vomited, bought food for two, housed their boyfriends, lived like it was the real life “Requiem for a Dream,” moved out, and swore we’d never live with someone like them again.

After just a few weeks, this summer has proven to be one of the most memorable yet. I’m about to be a senior in college, I’m living in New York City, my job is actually paying me (I know, I can’t believe it either), and I get to write articles for sites I absolutely love. On top of it all, I’m living with my best friend from school.

Thing is, she is driving me kinda nuts.

Like any other college student, I have had the whole we’re-so-cramped-in-here-I’m-suffocating dorm experience. In fact, my current roommate at school is the same one I was randomly assigned freshman year. Our friendship went hand in hand with our compatibility as roomies (for one, we both appreciate a good dance sesh in our pajamas to such fine musical artists as Spice Girls and Hanson).

As for me and my summer roommate, friendship came first. I’m talking best friends, tell each other everything, can’t imagine how we survived before that fateful day we met three years ago friendship. But there are some things about a person that you don’t really learn until the two of you are sharing a poorly air-conditioned Manhattan studio apartment.

For instance, I’ve realized that in such close quarters, any stitch of space is golden. Which is why, every morning, I grudgingly fold up my pullout bed to make room. Now, I’m not really a staunch bed-making enthusiast, but it just irks me to see the other pullout bed (which juts out into the path to the bathroom and our closets) never folded up. I get it – we wake up early for work, but is it so hard to just take two minutes and change the living room back to one with a couch rather than a path-obstructing bed?

Also, we are on completely different schedules. As for me, I’m a morning person. I like to wake up with more than enough time to get where I need to be. I look forward to a long, hot, leisurely shower. I drink my coffee slowly and always sit down for a full breakfast. By the time my roommate hops in the shower, I’m on my way strolling, you may even call it frolicking, to work. Come 10 PM and it’s lights out for me, while my roomie watches Two and a Half Men (bleh) on full volume.

Factor in countless nit-picky pet peeves (leaving lights on while we’re out, dirty dishes always in the sink, the constant borrowing of my things) and it’s enough to put me over the edge. I don’t even want to tell you how many times I’ve almost channeled my inner nagging parent and said “you know, the trash isn’t going to take itself out.”

All the things that drive me crazy threaten to make me lose sight of why I love my friend in the first place. Her complete and total loyalty, all the nights we’ve gotten too drunk together and fell asleep spooning, her signature dance moves, our shared inexplicable obsession with the Food Network. But the fact of the matter is, even though she’s one terrible person to live with, I do look forward to seeing her when I come home at night.

I truly feel conflicted: on the one hand, I have my own preferences and routines that don’t quite align with hers. On the other hand, she is one of the greatest people I know, and it’s pretty awesome to have her as the Charlotte to my Carrie in our wannabe Sex and the City summer adventure. Where do I draw the line between standing my ground and keeping the peace with my BFF? Between maintaining my sanity and maintaining my friendship?

Gah. Much like navigating my way to the bathroom while she’s still sleeping, this isn’t easy. But at the end of the day (or in the middle of the day when we’re IMing each other funny links and laughing at our respective desks until we cry), I do love this girl. So I’ll continue to stub my toe on her pullout bed every morning and bring out the recycling every evening, because she may not be my ideal roommate, but she’s one hell of a friend.

"Why can't you be more considerate!?"

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Dealing with the Sophomore Slump? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”! They’ve got all the answers you need, no matter who you are.

Question:
I need help. Fast. Or my head is going to explode. I live with 3 girls and we all re-signed our lease for next year to live together again. The only problem is that one of them is driving me crazy. She’s become totally inconsiderate of anyone else in the apartment, especially me. She’s messy, she’s loud and she acts like she’s the only one that matters. I have tried to approach her (because no one else I live with has the balls), but she just gets all defensive. It’s not like I’m asking her to clean up (even though I want to) – I’m just asking her to be a little more quiet when we’re all studying or to maybe stop bringing random guys into our house when she could go there. I don’t know what to do anymore but I can’t live like this.

Party Girl:
First of all, why did you resign the lease with someone you can’t live with?? It seems like you would have tried to get ouf of that one beforehand. Moving beyond that, what you need to do is just tell her how you feel. No passive aggressive crap, no roommate meetings – just say  exactly what you feel. Possibly over a bottle of wine, so the words go down more easily. I’m assuming you guys were once friends, right?  Channel those feelings and try to express to her that she’s hurting you (mentally, emotionally, academically – take your pick). It’ll be a hard  conversation, but it has to happen…otherwise, you run the risk of your house degenerating into a prison of silent-treatments and  back-stabbing. Trust me, that’s not a conducive environment for a house party. Or life.

Busy Bee:
Ugh, the roommates…always a sticky situation. If this is bothering you so much, you need to get your other roommate, and have all 3 of you sit down and talk this out. Explain your concerns, lay down the rules, and say it like it is – NO SUGAR COATING! If she gets defensive or doesn’t want to make any compromises, then cancel the lease. I don’t know how it works with your apartment, but sometimes, you can cancel the lease and the only consequence is that they keep your deposit. On the other hand, if she is not willing to move, then you can leave! Even though the lease is under your name, you can find someone to rent out your room, and have the new roomie pay you to pay the land lord.

I know what it’s like to live with an inconsiderate roommate, so you have to stand up for yourself. It’s not worth it to be annoyed with this girl all the time – you are way too busy and ambitious with school and work to be bothered by such nonsense. It sounds like she’s not willing to change, so tell her to move out (take her name off the lease and get her out of the house), or you can just find a new set of roomies in a new place. It may sound ridiculous, but this girl needs to realize there are other people living in the house as well. Don’t put up with her any longer!

GPA Girl:
Well, this begs the question of why you re-signed the lease, but whatever–you did it, so you’re stuck with this girl for at least another year. I commend you for having the balls to confront her. Until she learns to have a balanced and considerate discussion, however, it sounds as if you might have to try an alternative strategy. Have you thought about writing a letter? That’s a good, non-confrontational way to get down your thoughts and give her time to process what you feel without going insane right away. Another idea is to get your other two roommates to grow some balls and confront the girl with you as a small group. You’re all friends at least a little bit, right? It’s a lot harder to act defensive when there are three people confronting you instead of just one, especially if you all make sure to speak kindly. Finally, as a last resort, you might think about talking with a counselor or RA at your college about what you could do with this girl that might offer some relief. They usually have great ideas to share. Good luck!

And it couldn’t be further from reality for many others, which is why many students opt for the sweet, glorious single.

At Princeton, singles are rarely occupied by freshmen, but they’re the absolute hottest real estate for older, wiser sophomores, juniors, and seniors. I’m surprised by how many freshmen claim they would never want a single and then end up wishing they had one by the end of the year. Here are a few reasons why you should consider the sweet single life for next year.

Odds are your roommate will not be your BFF.

While my roommate and I didn’t have any major clashes, we were from different worlds and ended up parting ways at the end of the year without staying in touch. And this was the case for most of my friends. Don’t worry about missing out on a close friend by gettin’ your own place; your closest friends will be the people who share your interests and activities, not your sleeping space. And there’s no chance of having those worst-case scenario roommates you so often hear about. You know the ones: the guys and gals who leave moldy food under the bed, get in crying fits on the phone at 3am, want to hold wild room parties every weekend, or leave their alarms set for five in the morning and just. keep. hitting. the snooze. for hours.

Sleep and wake up on your own schedule.

Sleep at college is very important. You’ll be working furiously hard most of the time, and when you’re not, you’ll want to sleep. With a single, you can go to bed at 4am without having to work with a flashlight under the sheets because roomie wants to get to bed at nine, and you don’t have to wake up at 5am to the sound of your early-rising roomie’s alarm. Yay for your own sleep schedule!

Work without distractions.

I’ll look for any excuse not to work, and if someone else is there, I have someone to talk to and a reason to stop my Psych reading. Having a single means I have fewer ways to procrastinate. Freshman year, I had to make the long cold trek to the library; with a single, my room is always a cozy study space with all of my creature comforts around me.

You can do…private stuff.

Having a single is obviously hugely advantageous if you have a boy/girlfriend and you’d like a little private time. If you are both feeling suddenly amorous, you don’t need an elaborate system of ties on doors and the like to get the time you want. Besides that, it’s just nice to come back to a room that’s all your own. You can do all those things you wouldn’t do in front of other people (like, say, testing out one of these), with no fear of someone bursting in on you. And that’s the sweetest thing of all.

The Social Drinker

Or, in other words, the roommate that’s only social when she’s drunk. You spend the whole day together, share the same bathroom, use the same shelf for your snacks, and probably own the same deodorant, but the only things you say to each other all day will be “I’m going to class” and “Mind if I get the light?” You don’t hate each other or even dislike each other, but somehow you never seem to have a conversation longer than fifteen seconds. Unless it’s Thursday evening and she’s into the vodka, of course. Then she’s your best friend, and she always wonders why you guys never talk, why she’s never gotten to meet all your cool friends, how much she hated that stupid haircut you had at orientation, and eventually she passes out and you don’t speak to each other for another week.

The Invisible Woman

You know she exists, because you saw her parents on move-in day, and the pile of laundry in her hamper sometimes varies in size. But she’s never in the room when you come back from class, she’s never brushing her teeth or taking a shower, and nobody ever comes looking for her. There’s the empty shell of a human life: bed always made, textbooks neatly lined up on the bookshelf, television never turned on. Your room feels like it’s being haunted, as if there’s some presence only half there. Sometimes you see her outside, chain-smoking and looking waifish.

The Hermetically Sealed Hermit

Sure, it’s nice to have a studious roommate. You can get work done when you need to, and you probably won’t come home on Sunday morning to find three naked people you’ve never met before passed out in your bed. But sometimes the zone of silence becomes a little too much: would you mind turning off that fan? Would you mind not chewing gum? Would you mind turning your pages with less rustling? Would you mind going across the hall and telling the room full of rugby players to body-slam each other through the drywall a little more gently?

The Apologetic Freeloader

Being the scrupulous, Type-A half of the arrangement, you were careful to bring a comprehensive selection of snacks in the fall. And because you’re also the easy-going, accommodating one, you were happy to loan them out to your hungry roommate when her busy schedule kept her running with no time to grab lunch. And she was always very nice about it, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you, I know-”

“No, no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you tell her.

And you love her to death, but now it’s April and she’s eaten maybe a hundred dollars worth of your Oreos, and she’s still really cute and fun abut it, but damnit, those were your Oreos. “I’m so sorry! I’m a mess, really, I’m a terrible roommate-” Well, yeah. Yeah. You are.

The Very Best Friend

College can be a lonely place at first, so you were really happy when you and your roommate hit it off so well. You were welcome to get drunk and lost with that first Friday night. And you just get closer from there; turns out you like the same bands, have the same major, dig the same take-out place. But one day, you wake up and realize: oh my God. This girl follows me around like a dog every weekend, she sits me down and blabbers about her bizarre emotional problems the moment I walk in the door, she snuggles with me on my bed when she feels lonely and I’m trying to study. I’ve gotten married and I’m not even getting any tax breaks.

Any other horrors I forgot?