So, in between endless reruns of A-List and RuPaul’s Drag Race, LOGO airs a gem called Bad Sex. Ten people with varying levels of sexual dysfunction all seek help, but unlike most other “tough love” type reality shows, the person from whom they’re receiving therapy is a) sex positive and b) a certified sex therapist. Last week, I had the opportunity to interview Chris Donaghue, star of Bad Sex, and ask him about some of the sexual dysfunctions featured on the show.

CC: What is the premise of Bad Sex?
CD: It’s an exploration of the sex lives of 10 different participants, ranging from every gender, every sexual orientation, every age group. Bi, gay, straight, questioning. From sex addiction to sexual anorexia, love addiction and coming out stories. It’s not a gay show. There are only 2-3 people who are gay. It’s the kind of show that can tap into the heterosexual.

CC: How do you approach your patients?
CD: I’m not gentle, but I’m not penalizing.  You have to oscillate. It’s important to hold these people accountable to some of their bad behavior, but then you have to show up with empathy, and be loving and care-taking around more vulnerable patients.

CC: How do you identify a sex addiction?
CD: We’re at a time — culturally, socially, psychologically — where everyone is wanting to identify out of the norm and classify hypersexual behavior as a sex addiction. It’s kind of shaming some people’s sexuality. You can be hypersexual without it being addiction. Addiction is not about quantity. There’s no magic number. Everyone has an individual comfort level. It’s about the outcome. If your sex life is creating problems in your daily life, it’s a problem. If your sex life is creating shame and guilt, it’s a problem. If it’s impairing, it’s a problem. If you’re feeling confident and there are no negative consequences, it’s great. But, especially for women who enjoy sex, they may be labeled a slut. If you acknowledge that you love sex, and know you’ll be called a slut, you’re not going to carry around protection for fear of being labeled and you’re setting yourself up for negative consequences. The word “slut” needs to be eradicated.

CC: On the flip side, what is sexual anorexia? 
CD: Instead of acting out sexually, it’s a fear and avoidance and discomfort and rejection of sex.  It mirrors food anorexia. Sex anorexics don’t want to consume or talk about sex. There is a difference between a sexual anorexic and a late bloomer. A late bloomer is someone who holds off on sex, but they’re confident in their choice and they can own it and talk about it. Sexual anorexics have anxiety — they don’t want to think about it. It is usually born out of trauma.

CC: What is the most common sexual dysfunction?
CD: If I’m working with couples, disparate sexual desire — one partner wants sex way more than the other. Also, love and sex addiction, which is usually encouraged by the internet in that it is always accessible and confidential. Women and men are cheating online via webcams and sexting. It’s becoming compulsive and impulsive. They get caught up in it to the detriment of a healthy sex life.

CC: How does that happen?
CC: Sex addiction is an intimacy disorder. Sex became more attractive as a way to cope or check out. Their sex isn’t wholesome, healing or pleasure based. They have shame and guilt. They’re not having happy relationships. It happens when people get into a relationship, and they can’t handle another level of intimacy, so they get it taken care of out of the relationship. More men are sex addicts, more women are love addicts — obsessively reading romance novels, watching certain tv shows, starting online relationships, their whole life shrinks to one addiction.

CC: What role does self-esteem play in sexual dysfunction?
CD: Self-esteem is the basis of everything. It’s at the core. Getting more self-esteem is how you start to raise the bar and demand better, and don’t allow unhealthy behaviors or addictions.

CC: How do you start re-building self-esteem?
CD: Isolating problematic behaviors. Take a break and recover. Restructure life. Building a nurturing social circle. Engaging in romantic relationships that feel wholesome or nurturing. Finding a purpose in life.

CC: What is the neurology of sex?
CD: Everything that happens has a neurological aspect. Every change in our behavior creates a change in our brain. Love addiction or sexual anorexia reshapes your brain and you set up your brain to not welcome a relationship or it wants constant stimulation. You have to rewire your brain through changing your behavior.

CC: Why is our culture so sex-negative.
CD: We use words that show/imply embarrassment. We don’t say vagina, we say “down there.” I’m a fan of correct language. It’s okay to talk about sex and sexuality. Get the words out there so people don’t shudder. There’s so much shame in our bodies and our sexuality. Our culture, religion and education dump our issues on us and they teach us which words to use. Using “slut” and “down there,” I have to stop and say “do you mean…?” and don’t shame them.

CC: How do you communicate effectively?
CD: A lot of couples operate from a place of mind-reading. If sex isn’t feeling good or you’re interested in trying other things, tell them. It’s about getting comfortable having a conversation. At first your partner might be awkward, but you have to do it. Coming out is scary and it isn’t just for gay people. You come out over and over again, because your sex life might change. You have to work to express the range of your sexuality. Vocalizing how you feel.  Relax and allow yourself to receive. It’s okay to be self-absorbed. Sex challenges our body esteem. Get comfortable with your body and what it looks like and feels like.

Are you totally obsessed with him yet? A guy on TV promoting healthy, positive, non slut-shamey attitudes toward sex? I am! Catch Bad Sex on LOGO Fridays at 9:00pm. You can also stream the episodes at logotv.com!

So you’re dating someone who is super cute, nice, makes you laugh…and then wham! He sucks in the sack. …Or if you’re not quite there yet, he’s bad at kissing. So what’s a girl to do when she’s used to a certain…ahem, level of pleasure in both areas? Work with him, of course!

If there’s no investment in the guy and you’re simply hooking up with him but he’s bad at sex, it’s your call to pull a Jay-Z and say, “On to the next one,” or stick around. Trust me, there are plenty of guys with enough experience to satisfy your needs. But remember, choose wisely and know the dude’s sexual history. Good sex is great, but good sex plus an STD? Not so much. However, if you actually like the guy and he’s more than a 2 a.m. drunken roll-around in the sheets, stick around and see what you can do!

Let’s start with kissing. I’ve dated a terrible kisser before! I’m talkin’ lips protruding as if I was Marge and he was Homer Simpson. Yep, pretty bad. However, his personality was amazing! We had that witty text banter down, he made me laugh all the time and I thought he was the greatest guy I’d ever been with. But as our relationship continued, I knew that whole kissing thing had to be worked out. Rather than say anything to him (guys can be pretty sensitive about that stuff), I just started kissing him how I wanted it. Maybe he was used to kissing his ex-girlfriend that way, but over time he adapted to my way of kissing and things just went along from there.

If your guy is a slobber mouth, though, that’s a different story! I am pretty bold when I’m kissing a guy if there’s too much spit involved. I will literally take my hand and wipe the dudes mouth and then my own. Sometimes that’s all it takes! I guarantee he doesn’t like to be swimming in a spit-bath either, so do something like that from time to time and he’ll take the hint.

As for a guy that’s bad at sex, this may take a little more work. The one thing girls should know is that it’s always okay to tell him exactly what you want. In fact, guys dig that! Most guys want to please you as much as you want to please them, so get over being shy and get straight to whispering in his ear what you want next.

If it’s the mood that’s making sex awkward, try turning on some music! You can make the mood sexy and passionate with some Kings of Leon or have a silly sex sesh while cranking up You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates. (I guarantee you’ll both be laughing). The bottom line is that sex is better when you’re comfortable, so do whatever it takes to get you there.

If all else fails and you’ve got it bad for the guy, you can always talk to him about it, but be careful how you word it. Guys (especially typical college guys) have killer egos and might take your suggestion as an insult and run the other direction. But if your man truly respects and cares for you, he’ll want things to be the best they can and work with you to make either kissing or sex better.

Wanna see how he deals with sloppy kissers and less-than-ideal lays? Hop on over to COED Mag!

My first kiss
I was 19. I was at a party with a whole bunch of lesbians and one straight guy. After a few drinks, he found me appealing enough to kiss, and well, it was late enough in the evening that he had started looking like Justin Timberlake to me, so we started kissing. By this point, the party had wound down and we were the only ones still in the living room. In the process of making out, my dress and bra came off, and my first kiss went from G to PG-13/R with a quickness. After it was over, I was emotionally perturbed and anxious about the not-so-romantic way in which everything had occurred, and things were compounded the next morning, when I found out that we were in fact not alone in the living room…and that the witness to my shenanigans? Was a 15 year old boy (someone’s little brother had tagged along…so appropriate). While I’m certainly somewhat of an exhibitionist now, I certainly wasn’t back then, and I still get queasy about the fact that a strange child was 10 feet away at the very beginning of my deflowering process.

My first FWB.
He was a decade older than me. He was an ex-coworker’s ex boyfriend, which was kind of sticky in and of itself. And, I found out later, he was dating other people the entire time we were hooking up. Um, I’d like to at least actively consent to being the side ho, thank you very much.

That time I sobbed during sex.
This was less than a year ago. I was visiting my family for a week for Thanksgiving, which was stressful in and of itself. And I was majorly bummed about being separated from my boo (trust me, I felt sufficiently embarrassed/ashamed/pathetic). So we were having goodbye nookie, and I couldn’t hold it together and started bawling. One of those extremely ugly, but super cathartic cries. While he was still inside me. I feel like I’m often teetering on the brink of sanity, but that moment…I was feeling very girl, interrupted.

That summer I had an online fling with a dude from Craigslist.
I had moved to Washington, D.C. for a summer internship. It was towards the end of the summer and all of my friends were gone, and I was extremely lonely. Naturally, I turned to Craigslist, and really did had every intention of keeping things platonic with anyone I chatted with (my naivete is absolutely stunning at times, I swear). This guy emailed me, and he seemed totally normal at first…until he started talking about erotic asphyxiation. Yes, he got aroused by the thought of being choked and choking women. I was morbidly intrigued, and for several weeks, we sexted. Luckily, I always rebuffed his invitations to meet in real life, and I’m comforted by the fact that I never told him my last name, but I admit, I was a hot, vulnerable mess for awhile and that really could have gotten me into trouble.

Am I going to regret not writing this anonymously? It’s very possible. But I’m a huge proponent of talking about sex comprehensively – the good stuff, the bad, the scary, the erotic, the complicated…and the humiliating.

1. Surprise butt sex.
I get it. The anus and the vagina are pretty close together, especially in certain positions, and a guy could easily make a mistake and go for the other hole. That said, there’s a difference between the accidental poke (ie: the instigator apologizes profusely upon realizing the error of his ways) and a clearly premeditated anal sex attack, which includes a whole lot of feigned ignorance (Really? You didn’t notice the complete lack of lubrication and the unusual tightness?) mixed with a ton of reluctance and a sad face when you don’t go along with it. Pure gauche.

2. Body shaming.
Being nude in front of someone else can be extremely scary. Most of us have at least one part of our body that we’re not 100 percent thrilled about, so when we get naked, we’re vulnerable.  So that means play nice. Whatever flaw you perceive your partner’s body to have? They’ve already noticed it. Don’t pinch someone’s fat and make a face (based on a true story). Don’t scoff at his penis. And don’t spend time exaggeratedly gagging at what you perceive to be excessive amount of genital hair – if that is really an issue, bring it up later, in a mature, thoughtful way. If you ultimately don’t find someone else attractive, that’s totally fine, but there is no reason to be hurtful or disrespectful about it.

3. Pressuring.
Let’s say you really want to try some new position, or introduce a toy, or role play, or whatever. And you express your desire to your partner, and they veto it. Let it go. Move on for now. Don’t whine, pout, or try to emotionally manipulate your partner into doing whatever it is you want to do. Not only is it extremely annoying, but it can also make your partner feel like their opinions aren’t valued.

4. Comparisons.
I’ve thought about other people during sex before. I’m sure all of our minds have wandered, thinking about past experiences or indulging in a little fantasy sex with the celeb of our choice. That’s normal. But, for example, if your partner is going down on you and you can’t stop thinking about the way your ex used to do it, absolutely, under no circumstances, should you say anything like, “Oh, Brandon used to [do it like this/do it so much better].” You can guide your partner without bringing up someone else, especially someone you’ve banged before. That is insensitive, rude and callous.

5. Unwanted aggression
First of all, I’d like to address the practice of men pushing women’s heads down when we’re giving head. For any guys reading this, that is a big bundle of no. If you want us to go harder, faster, deeper, use your words. Most of us have gag reflexes, and we have to work up to porn star BJs. Calm down. On a more general note, please keep it consensual, all the way. If your partner seems hesitant, slow down, communicate, make sure you’re on the same page. Consent is a dynamic concept, and you can’t assume that the second clothes come off, everything is on the table.

Seriously, I can’t keep track of the weekend recaps I’ve heard from my friends who got drunkface and did something with someone that they regret. Whether it’s hooking up with someone inappropriate and disgusting or merely hooking up with someone sooner than expected, alcohol was often the catalyst for Sunday morning woes of despair over brunch. There was recently an article posted on Jezebel that confirmed my suspicions that people often use alcohol as a (wobbly at best) crutch. College culture totally condones drunken sexual shenanigans, and while I don’t want to be all judgmental and conservative, I can’t help but find this trend alarming.

I’m the queen of awkward social interaction, so I totally understand the appeal of drinking until you can’t feel your feelings any more, because it suddenly becomes a lot easier to relate to people. But there’s a difference between having enough drinks to be relaxed, and drinking until you’re making decisions that you don’t even want to associate yourself with. Seeing as how hooking up is intrinsically intimate,  I think it’s something that you should always be capable of consenting to.  The issue of consent is one of extreme importance, because it’s important to be in a state of mind to communicate what you want before miscommunication turns into sexual assault or rape.

On a less heavy note, it’ really doesn’t seem like it’s in anyone’s best interests to consistently engage in behavior they’re ashamed of. It’s not conducive to being happy, and it’s not conducive to feeling pleasure. Sex is complicated and wrought with potential problems, but at the end of the day, sex is supposed to feel good. You shouldn’t feel icky or disgusting. You shouldn’t feel a knot in your stomach. You shouldn’t finish a session and be unable to sleep because you’ve sobered up, realized what you’ve done, and you’re trembling from anxiety and nausea. If you choose to talk about your sexcapades with someone, you shouldn’t use disparaging adjectives to describe how you feel about yourself afterwards. Even if the experience sucked, it should suck because you two were incompatible for whatever reason, not because it wasn’t something you intended or really wanted to do.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t drink and hookup, or that the only fulfilling life is a sober one. I do think, however, that if you are using anything other than your own desire as an excuse to do something, that’s not okay.

I’ve only gotten in two fights with my roommate since the day we were blindly assigned to one another the summer before our freshman year. The first was about Dr. Green on ER and how he died. I’m not proud to say, it ended with me throwing a remote before storming out of the room and slamming the door. Also, she was right.

The second, and more recent, was about faking an orgasm. The conversation started with a debate and subsequent Google search about whether or not a guy can fake it (he can, which we’ll get to), and turned in to her scolding me as I tried to list of the many reasons why I think faking it is totally acceptable in certain situations.

“You’re ruining it for the next girl!” she screamed as she paced the room. (Seriously, she was taking it so personally, you’d have thunk she got my tainted sloppy seconds or something.)

And I know that; it’s not like I hadn’t heard that argument before. I’ve also heard “he wants to please you, so tell him how,” and “every girl is different so you have to show him what you like.” Hell, my human sexuality teacher even chimed in once with, “you gotta speak up when you want something…especially when that something is an orgasm.” Yeah, that’s awkward in a 9 a.m. lecture.

The point is, I get it. You shouldn’t fake it. It’s bad to fake it. It’s rude to fake it.
But the truth is, there’s an exception to every rule. And in the case of fakin’ a big O, there are three.

1. It’s a random hook up.
When it’s a one night engagement between two people who know nothing about each other beyond how many drinks it takes to get the other naked, there’s no use in wasting time with a map and Power Point presentation of your erogenous zones. So you throw your bra and his jeans across the room and hope for the best. And when it’s actually the worst, well, you fake it, let him fall asleep, and kick him out/grab your things and run home before there’s the slightest chance for another round in the morning.

2. It needs to end. Like, yesterday.
It’s sad but all too true: some guys have no effing clue what they’re doing in the bedroom. No joke, it’s like they learned their moves from the power tools as Home Depot. And it’s awful, mind boggling and sometimes even downright painful. You could stop them, explain why jackhammering you with this look on their face is bad, and give it another go…..or you could fake it, wait until they’re not in the deep throes of “passion” (if that’s what they call it) and find a more opportune moment to give them a much needed lesson on pleasuring a lady.

3. He’s a sensitive little bugger.
Maybe it’s because I take constructive criticism really personally, but I have a really hard time critiquing others, whether it’s my family dog who pees on the carpet (“it’s OK, Sophie; I can see how you mistook the gray carpet for grass”) or a boyfriend in a most intimate moment (“No, it’s totally fine when you’re done after 15 seconds!”). I just can’t stand the thought of making him feel bad when he’s clearly trying so hard. And, yeah, maybe it only delays the inevitable, but I’d rather give him the big confidence boost of putting a smile on my face with a little fake yelp, than have to tell him that no one likes it when a guy licks inside their belly button. Call me a pussy, but I just don’t want to risk an awkward crying moment.

Look, I know a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this – and many will do so vehemently – but I also know that 70% of women have reported faking an orgasm, which means that there are lots of ladies out there who have their own reasons for flexing their bedroom acting muscles.

What are your reasons?

And in case you’re wondering, guys can and do fake it, too. Crazy, right? Find out why, right here.

There are those rare circumstances where you and your partner connect on every level and every romp in the sack is transcendent and magical and effortless. But for most of us, we usually end up with a partner who intuitively understands only some of our needs. The only way to get the most mindblowing sex you can imagine? Talk that ish out.

I know, sometimes talking about sex with the person you’re having it with is downright terrifying. You don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings, or maybe you tell yourself you’re okay with having sex that’s only 70 percent awesome. Eventually, however, you could start to get resentful of the fact that you only orgasm 30 percent of the time (when you know that you’re capable of orgasming 98 percent of the time), or you’re going to develop a complex about your boobs (because, OMG, WHY WON’T MY BOO TOUCH/LICK/SUCK them? ARE THEY NOT GOOD ENOUGH?). Or you’ve suddenly realized you really want to try spanking, but you assume your partner isn’t into it because they’ve never brought it up.

But really? All of those problems, and a lot of other sexually related ones, can be solved by just talking about it in a mature, respectful way.

If it’s something more significant, like a noticeable decrease in your partner’s sex drive, have a conversation about it outside of the bedroom (where pressure and expectations may hinder openness). Make sure you’re as non-confrontational as possible and have an open, two-way dialogue. Even if you don’t resolve your problem immediately, at least you’re both on the same page. If you find yourself hitting an awkward wall, either keep talking through it or take a break and then come back to it. Sure, the conversation may get awkward or tense, but the best way to get past that is to confront it head on.

Not all circumstances require a super intense convo, though. Sometimes, you can suggest things while you’re hot and heavy. If your partner has a tendency to neglect certain parts of your body, all you have to do is softly move their hand to wherever you want it (okay, so occasionally closed mouths can get fed…) And, you know, it’s amazing how much power one sexy whisper can have. If your partner has a tendency to stop licking/sucking/penetrating before you hit orgasm, a simple, encouraging “no, don’t stop, keep going” may be all you need. When their hard work is rewarded with you reaching the pinnacle of sexy pleasure, they’ll totally get the message (hello, positive reinforcement!)

When it comes to toys and kink, I’ve found that it’s always most comfortable to talk about it in post-coital, cuddly afterglow, when you can ask your partner questions about what they’ve fantasized about/what they’re interested in trying sexually, and you can divulge your interests too.

Maybe none of these suggestions will work because, worst case scenario, you’re not sexually compatible. And that’s when you decide whether you’re okay with settling for less than spectacular nookie or break it off. But there’s also the distinct possibility you and your partner are a lot more similar than you thought, and you can work together to have the most fabulous sex ever. Either way, you’ll be making decisions based on facts instead of assumptions.

At the end of the day, if you want something, you gotta communicate it. I firmly believe that if you’re willing to open your legs to someone, you should definitely be able to open your mouth.

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[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

“Oh god. This has never happened to me before.”

Yup, I’ve heard that one before. Twice from the same person, actually. I’ve also had one ex propose a trip to Home Depot to rectify the situation. True (and really creepy) story. Being in college where the average night starts with a beer bong, ends with a shot of Jager and has a whole lot of cheap booze in between, I know I’m not alone. Erectile dysfunction (also not so lovingly known to as Whiskey D*ck) is as prevalent as Uggs, overpriced textbooks and porch couches. It’s something that all college women will encounter at one point or another in their lives.

But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing for the guy whose parts aren’t working, or for the girl who has to somehow rectify the situation.

However, having encountered a limp biscuit a few times between the sheets (and once in a bathroom stall), I have to say that it’s really not as big a deal as movies, stories and shell shocked guys make it out to be.

Look, I know I can’t speak for every woman out there, but I can say that most of the girls I know who’ve come eye to eye with a sleeping dragon don’t get angry about it. We don’t judge the guy harshly for it. We don’t tell everyone they know about it. Oh wait, maybe we do, but not in some “OMG, what a loser! His penis doesn’t work!” sorta way.

No, we accept the situation for what it is. Sure, there are brief moments where we wonder if it’s something we did (“I didn’t use my teeth! I DIDN’T USE MY TEEEETH”) or how we looked when he finally got our pants off (“Should I have gone with the Brazilian this time?!”), and then there’s the slight disappointment of not getting to take the train to Pleasureville. But once those pass we do whatever we can to make the guy feel better….and the entire situation less awkward city for all parties involved.

Why? Because we know guys get all up in their heads when these things happen, and if we don’t assure him that it’s OK, that we’re fine with it, that we still find him just as rawwwr sexy,  he’ll just remain in his head (with a crippled midget) for all future south of the border encounters. And I think we all know that no southern trek is successful with a crippled midget.

So what’s the best way to avoid marshmallow-in-a-keyhole issues down the road? Well, for one, if it’s broke, don’t try to fix it. Continually pulling out all your sexiest moves only to see them fail not only makes you feel bad, but it makes your partner feel even worse. Second, don’t start asking if it’s something you said or did. The guy’s already feeling down and out – does he really have to admit (out loud) that it’s not you, it’s his twig and berries? Instead, just reassure him that it’s OK, that you’re happy to be there with him and that your parts are working so “get down there and show me some love” you know it’s not his fault.

Then play with his hair, rub his back and hope your reaction gets his soldier standing tall the next time you go into battle.

That’s all she wrote. See what he said on CoedMagazine.

Relationships can be great — always having someone to cuddle with, vent to, and share your favorite things with – but unfortunately things don’t always go as smoothly as planned. Sometimes once you get to know a person — once you spend more than a few month’s worth of sexy nights with them — you realize that maybe things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

Let’s get really honest for a second — most of us have stayed in a relationship or two far past its expiration date. Sometimes we get too blinded by the bright shiny light of love to realize when a relationship has become toxic and needs to be over. Breaking up isn’t easy, I know, but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

If you’re having problems figuring out whether to stay or go, here are some things that scream “it’s over”… or should be.

Abuse. Under no circumstances should you be staying with a person who is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive. You can do better, I promise. If your partner is hurting you in any way, get out — and fast. If you need some help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Lack of respect. For you, your space, your family, your friends, your dreams, the list goes on. Respect is one of the most basic of things you should be expecting from a significant other, and if that’s not there it’s time to pack your bags.

Lackluster sex. Sure, this seems shallow, but if you can’t imagine having sex with only this person on a long-term basis, it’s probably best to get out. Some things can be remedied — spice things up and get a little kinky — but if you’re sexually incompatible (find out here!), it’s better to end it now than to drag it out.

They don’t support you. Sure, your dream of being a skydiving instructor may be a little extreme, but that doesn’t give your partner an excuse to crap all over it. If your partner is completely unsupportive of your goals, hopes, or ambitions; you’re not dating a person who is worth your time.

No love. If, after a reasonable amount of time, you’re just not feeling those feelings of love or a desire for a long-term commitment, you should probably break it off. Pro tip: a break-up after three months typically hurts much less than a break-up after three years.

Cheating. Whether it was you or your partner, cheating means you need to seriously reevaluate your relationship. Why did it happen? Can you be positive it will never happen again? Will your relationship honestly be able to recover? — Just some things to think about.

Liar, Liar. How can you know your true feelings if your relationship is based on lies? Regardless of who happens to be the guilty party, lying is a big hint that a relationship is slowly but surely going down the drain. Remember my point about respect? If someone truly respects you, they will tell you the truth.

Different directions. One of the best parts of being in a relationship is the hypothetical future you can make up together. Not only is it fun, but it’s also a good way to feel out whether or not your ideas of a future match up — do you both want kids? Do you want to live in the same places? There’s no point continuing a relationship that is going to come to a head once the big decisions come up, so if you find yourself dating someone with a very different future in mind, you should break it off.

No direction. Another thing you can learn from that hypothetical game is whether or not you even want a future with the person you’re dating. Can’t see it going anywhere? Do the right thing and break it off —  that is, unless the other person feels the same way too.

Just because. Sometimes you don’t need to have a reason, sometimes it’s just over. Save both of you the drawn-out, emotionally draining break-up and just get it over with. And remember: quick like a band-aid, and don’t look back.