So the fall semester is rolling round again. For you freshies that means the dreaded “Freshman 15.” For the rest of us it means the shame of gaining an undisclosed amount of weight even though we are supposed to be “adjusted” and know how to stay healthy while we’re away from home.

It’s not like we don’t know what is healthy and what isn’t – we do. And we all vow that the next year will be different – that we’ll stop getting seconds at the caf and drinking 6 nights a week – but then classes start, beer pong ensues and it all goes out the window right to our asses.

To most of us calories are just confusing; who the hell knows how many calories we actually consume on a daily basis. How much work we need to do in order to burn off dollar pitcher night.  How many calories we burn walking to the library? But those things definitely need to be figure out if we want to steer clear of the not-so-attractive muffin top.

So, I thought I’d break it all down in a way everyone could understand: comparing the things we love to eat to our daily activities.

There’s always going to be that day when you have two tests to study for and an essay to write, which means zero time to cook yourself a healthy meal. But perhaps those days will be a little further in between knowing that you’ll have to wash dishes for five hours the next day to burn it off:

Two Slices of Domino’s Cheese Pizza (540 calories)= 3 hours of vacuuming (which is probably 1,214 laps around that 10X12 box of yours)

One Order of “General Tso’s Chicken” From Your Favorite Chinese Place (844 calories)= 2 hours of running on the treadmill at the gym

One Grande Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte (330 calories)= 3 hours of taking notes in class

One Plain Bagel With Cream Cheese (436 calories)= 1 ½ hours of dancing at a party

One Bowl of Ramen Noodles (296 calories)= Walking around campus for an hour

One Subway 6” Philly Cheese Steak (520 calories)= 4 hours of doing laundry Read More »

So it’s Sunday. Unlike productive members of society who are enjoying a break from professionalism or whatever, I woke up three hours ago with a raging hangover. I reserve the right to complain about this because a) I am a college student, thus weekends are sacred and b) after I graduate all the fun is gone and nonstop partying simply isn’t in the cards for those who hold a steady job…which I hopefully will achieve.

Anyways, this occurrence is not inevitable, but pretty regular for me, and from what I’m told, countless other Weekend Warriors. So to make my (and your) Sunday morning/afternoon nausea slightly more tolerable, I present my Top 5 fave Hangover Foods.

5. McDonald’s Diet Coke + an Egg McMuffin.

This makes the list for both its deliciousness and medicinal values. McDonald’s Coke and Diet Coke WILL cure your hangover. My best friend swears by it. So does her Mom. That stuff is great. Unfortunately this meal is 1) highly inconvenient, as there’s very little chance that you will be up early enough to get an egg McMuffin and 2) usually eaten under the circumstances that your hangover is very very severe and you can only manage small bites and sips. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 79

Mood: Headachy

“Oooohkay. I just did something stupid.”

Sliding onto the bench next to Naima and across from Crystal, I put my steaming mug of hot chocolate down before it burned my skin.

“I just did something really stupid.”

“What?” Taking her pen out of her mouth, Naima looked over at me, squinting in the dim coffee house light. “What could you have possibly done in the last twenty-four hours that’s so horrible?”

“Oooh, enough.” Licking my fingers, I did a quick survey of the small campus coffee shop to make sure certain people weren’t around. “I think I just ruined my Thanksgiving break.”

“Tell us already, woman!” Closing her books, Crystal crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at my forehead. “You take forever getting to the point.”

“Well, you know how Daniel B. has been tutoring me in Chemistry?” I took a sip from my chipped mug. “A few nights ago Sasha wasn’t there and it was just us…”

“Jesus, was it awkward?”

Crystal knew Daniel B. well. They both wrote for the college newspaper and Daniel B’s long-winded speeches were the only thing Crystal talked about after their weekly meetings. “That kid is the weirdest person on the planet. You know, at our last reporter meeting, he spent fifteen minutes detailing the intricate details of chess? I wanted to stab myself.” Read More »