Larry Flynt and Joe Francis are all over the current economic crisis. And they are definitely two dudes we should be listening to.

Flynt, the fat guy who founded Hustler, and Francis, the genius creep behind Girls Gone Wild are outraged at the fact that the economy has bent the porn industry over and given it to them hard. Too graphic? Sorry.

Let me, rephrase. Apparently, XXX DVD sales have dropped a whopping 22%! That’s enough to make anyone’s panties jaw drop…

Flynt says that with the economy at a low, sex is the farthest thing from people’s minds (I wonder where he’s gettin his info from, cuz we’re pretty sure it’s not the farthest thing from our mind) and “It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”

Yes, Congress. Share some of that sexual appetite we know you are all hiding, you sexy lawmakers, you.

The two men are asking for a $5 billion bailout and Mr. Francis himself is marching up to Washington to propose the bailout himself. Um, really? Seriously?

This gives whole new meaning to a stimulus package.

Miley’s first photo shoot was…slutty.

Melrose Place 2.0 is coming.

Build a fashionable wardrobe on the cheap.

OMG! What if his parents don’t like you!?

Colleges begging for bailout.

Some old dude won Survivor last night.

Give your skin the gift of soybeans.

One university found the ultimate stress reliever for students.

Michael Phelps likes boobs. Clearly.

Woman gets creative on the job hunt.

Well, the good part about this week is that banks all around the world did not explode, some kind of bailout plan was passed (though don’t ask us to decode it), Sarah Palin and Joe Biden managed to be civil and keep their mouths from f*ckng up at their debate (plus, a new favorite catch phrase was born!), Jeremy Piven’s hotness did not wane, weed suddenly became good for us, and we found out the identity of the REAL Joe Six Pack.

Let’s see, what else happened that wasn’t completely sh*tty…?

Oh, right. We let our inner Halloween bitterness out and felt much better for it, uncovered the horrible undertones to Allstate’s advertising campagin, and learned how to love and protect our awesome boobs.

Unfortunately, there were some not-so-great things that occured this week — and we’re not talking about our realization that we hadn’t blended our make-up one morning. Our birth control flipped the crap out, we realized our college dining halls were nothing compared to these, and the fun of Elementary School seems so, so far away.

Whether your glass is currently nice and half full or running on empty, take solace in the fact that the weekend has arrived to provide us cold beers, fresh-baked cookies, and HBO’s True Blood (What? You don’t watch this show?! Dude…find a way).

Heath Ledger’s daughter is cute and taken care of

In case you’re sh*tting yourself about the bailout

Britney Spears sounds relatively normal

Sean Penn is confused in a lot of ways

Strangely frightening

Sam and Lindsay BOTH in binkis

Katie Holmes is actually good for theater

Megan Fox’s first toolish-looking boyfriend

What color looks best on you?

No Fly List baby

Letterman ain’t no John McCain fan

Here’s one way to get clean…

We’ve been scoping the Internet this morning so we could post a story that isn’t about how Congress is completely divided, or how our economy is set to implode, or how no can find a freaking job…but we just haven’t been able to find anything.  At least not at 9:45 AM.

So yeah.  At the moment, the world is stuck on “panic”.

But here’s a funny video that involves a baby.  Whenever we want to panic, we sit back and think about cute babies and things usually go back to normal.  Maybe the government should start watching more YouTube videos that involve cute little chubby baby cheeks?