Honestly, I’m one of the few that think Britney’s crazy antics lately have been absolutely glorious. Obviously, she just got tired of all the paps and ruthless tabloids and decided to flip them the big fat bird. Good for you Brit, lose your mind all you want!

Personally, I always loved Spears the singer, always hated Brit the person. Especially in Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911 where she stated, “I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that.”

Intelligent, Brit.

Anyways, as if filling her kids’ baby bottles with soda and then trying to get a dentist to whiten their little teeth wasn’t enough, she has now reportedly threatened to kill a photographer. Wacky bald Brit? I approve.

Commando without a care Brit? Sure, why not.

Psycho killer Brit? (She’ll cut you.) Not so much.

The same pap, Andrew Deetz, that swiftly got his arse beat by her bodyguard last week in Vegas after trying to photograph Brit is now coming forward, claiming that Britney threatened to kill him.

Deetz is asking (begging?) for a restraining order against Spears, accusing that she witlessly claimed that she, or ‘someone she hired’, would kill him. No doubt she’s sure she’s ‘stroooonger than yeeesterday’!

Has mama gone mad? The way things are headed, it won’t be long before Spears hits the slammer.

I never thought I’d say the kids will be safer with K-Fed.

You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance (abuse), of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone.

You’d want to look good, right?

Not if you’re Britney Spears.

These new photographs confirm my suspicions that Ms. Spears has no mirrors in her house. And if she does have them, they’re magic mirrors, which tell her she looks completely normal and tasteful in half a shirt and daisy dukes.

Does B.S (ha, that’s funny) dress like a hooker because she’s kind of unhinged? Is it because she thinks it’s the only way to land a man? Are those short shorts and midriff baring tops an unconscious illustration of low self-esteem, or are they a shield for a woman who doesn’t know any other way to deal with the world? Could she have a missing fashion gene? Is she going blind?

I’m no psychiatrist, but I’m smart enough to know any chick who walks out the door looking like this has something on her mind.

What do you think, lovelies? Why does this mother of two constantly look like she raids the sales rack of Wet Seal?

I think we all know that now. Either she was stupid and misguided from the beginning and her agents / managers / parents / assistants / bodyguards kept her from really showing it, or something has recently gone very, very wrong in that hat-covered head of hers.

Case in point:

A few days ago, a message popped up on Spears’ website apologizing for attacking paparazzi in early February. If you saw the footage (which kind of reminds me of some scenes in 28 Days), a then-bald Spears jumped out of her car after being chased by photographers and went after them with a giant umbrella.

The situation itself was strange enough, but now this mother of two has gone and made is super strange.

“I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella,” the once sexy singer wrote. “I was preparing my character for a roll (sic) in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part.”

So, besides weird grammatical choices, the once divorced / many times pantiless star admits she takes possible move roles so seriously she’s unable to separate fiction from real life.

I’m sure everyone in Camp Britney (if there’s anyone left) is just thrilled this is how Ms. Spears chooses to defend her actions.

Here’s hoping someone comes to the aid of this certifiably insane starlet, and soon. I don’t know how many more of these nonsensical personal statements I can take.