I love everything about Mardi Gras. It’s one of those days that makes day-drinking on a Tuesday completely acceptable and encourages us to eat the most disgustingly greasy (read: most delicious) food that we can. Whether or not you participate in the religious side of the event (it’s a chance to eat whatever you want before Lent starts), we can all agree that a day dedicated solely to partying and indulgence is heaven sent.

But one thing I’ve never understood about Fat Tuesday is the new tradition of women flashing men for plastic beads. There is a good history behind the beads–in the 1960s beads, along with other things like doubloons and small toys, were thrown from parade floats. But when, and why, are women showing their t*ts to strangers for them?

I mean, I guess I get it. Women have been using their sexuality to get things for ages; if showing a little more cleavage didn’t get me free drinks at bars, I would wear a t-shirt every night out. But really? Giving away the goods for some plastic beads that cost $1 for 50 strands? I’d rather save my boobies for something else, buy myself some beads, and call it a night. Plus, there are cameras everywhere and ending up in a compilation like this would make great conversation around campus.

Sometimes though, there are opportunities out there that are worth showing off what your momma (or Heidi’s fave plastic surgeon) gave you; here are five things we’d definitely flash for.

1. A date with Johnny Depp

The chance to sit across a candlelit table with Mr. Depp is like a zero-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And if I knew that I would get that chance with just a quick shirt lift, my top would be gone in .15 seconds. Whatever humiliation I may feel from showing my boobs would quickly melt away when I look into his beautiful, beautiful brown eyes.

2. Balenciaga “Giant City” bag

It’s been one of my life goals to be the proud owner of one of these gorgeous works of art before I turn 25. But as a 21-year-old with $800 in my savings account and student loans that need to be paid off, I’d happily show a little nip for this $1600 bag.

3. My dream job

Economic struggles and job uncertainly aside, landing a dream job, especially right out of college, is not easy. Especially when my dream job is to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel and I’m only 5’3″. It would take a miracle for me to obtain mine, but I bet a lot of men out there think boobs are a miracle. So we’ll see.

4. Eternal life for my cat

Yes, this is my actual kitten.

Life without my kitten is unthinkable. I would give just about anything (especially a little boob shot) for little Ladybird to be able to stick with me for the rest of my life. That way when I’m in my 40s watching Sex and the City reruns alone with a bottle of wine, she can be there too. (And we will pretend that I didn’t spent last Wednesday night doing just that.)

5. Brett Favre to retire

Now Brett. You’re a hot older man and everything, and, don’t get me wrong, I love me some hot older men, but enough is enough. I’m tired of ESPN talking about you, and that’s the only channel on at my place of employment. I’m tired of my guy friends whining about not being able to wear their #4 Packers jerseys until you’re done with the Vikings. Make. A. Decision. I’m here to help you. Maybe a little boobage is the push you need to move on.

You’ve heard five things that I would flash for, now it’s your turn! What’s worth the price of a little indecent exposure?

What do you get the Rachel Zoe in your life?

What does one get for the girl who has everything?

The fashion obsessed chicadee who spends every ounce of her free time pouring over fashion magazines and blogs, scouring the racks at vintage stores and making a look that is all her own? The girl who’s closet won’t close, yet she still comes home with bags and bags of new stuff every time she leaves the house?

Well if I was a betting woman, I would say getting her something she can add to her already kick-ass wardrobe is always a winning choice.

Starbucks giftcards and holiday themed socks hold no soy-scented candle to clothes and accessories for this uber fashionista. Which is why I combed through stores and Internet sites to find the best holiday gift for your fashion loving friend.

The big scarf
The color purple is THE color of the season. And the infinity scarf? Probably the most versatile accessory a girl can own. She can wear it to keep warm en route to class, to add a little somethin’ somethin’ to the basic tee, or even with a cami and some skinny jeans to dinner with the boyf.

Sequined BCBG Belt
Sure, you see BCBG and you think “Uh, I will not be buying that for her if I want to eat this week,” but guess what? Its only $38, comes in 3 colors and is a great add-on to her collection of mini dresses and oversized boyfriend shirts

Sweater dress
Every fashionista knows that a sweater-dress is a must-have for winter. She’ll love you forever when she looks like a gazillion bucks in this adorable (and cheap) frock and  those overpriced booties and designer bag she splurged on.

Metal Mesh Bow Wallet
Marc Jacobs look, Forever 21 price. Amaze.

Metal Trim Shoulder Tote
Balenciaga-inspired look. Once again, Forever 21 Price. Hell, you can get her both!

Doe Wasted Day Raglan
Or any oversized tee, really. She can throw it on with her boyfriend jeans or leather leggings, or with sweats on a Sunday. Even the uber fashionista needs a comfy shirt for hungover Sundays, you know.

Yellow Leather Embroidered Gloves
Everyone needs a little sunshine in the long, cold winter months. And these bright gloves are the next best thing. Plus, they just scream Rihanna.

Alana Embroidered Cuff
Homegirl’s got all the clothes, now she just needs the accessories. This gorgeous cuff will add some oomph to whatever she’s rocking, be it a t-shirt and jeans or an LBD for NYE.

Shawl Collar Cardigan
Wardrobe essential; she can throw it over a sequined dress or an oversized tee for class. A girl can never have too many.

Victoria’s Secret College Apparel
Your fashionista friend isn’t going to wear just any cotton tee with her school’s mascot on it. Love or hate PINK, they do make some adorable college apparel with a fashion twist. Let her show her alma matter love and her stylish ways in something glittery and fab.

Ornament porn…teeheehee

8 Ways to heart your Jew-man!

Lookin like a bum is the latest trend…

People falling is always funny…esp when it’s Madge.

Amazing sales this week!! Jump on it ladies!

Balenciaga…but cheaper. No one will know the difference!

Rachel McAdams spotting! God I love her…

Calling all porn addicts…MTV wants you!

Ew…bacon bath salts? What?!

High tuition forces some students out of college.

I know when I was 17, I spruced up my Kipling backpack by wearing a strand of Chanel Pearls… and by Chanel Pearls I obviously mean the totally real ones that I bought in China Town.

Don’t get me wrong; I do admire their fashion forwardness, but I totally resent that it’s not reality. However, this look on Ms. Blake Lively is totally attainable and totally cute.

Perhaps I should start watching?

Leather is huge this fall (along with purple, yellow, scarves, and everything else I’ve blogged about in this series) and it’s a great way to dress down a sexy black dress while also staying warm in all those super long bar lines.

So I bring you: Celebrity Chic on the Cheap: Gossip Girl’s ‘Too Legit to Quit’ Style.

The Black Dress: You can get a great dress from Forever 21, obvi. This dress is HOT and better than HOT – it’s CHEAP. INEXPENSIVE. MUY INEXPENSIVO. Yes, I am still single.

The Leather Jacket- While still pricey at $128.00, it’s still a bargain for a cute leather jacket. If you aren’t feeling this one Urban has tons of other cute options. And a leather jacket is a GREAT fall piece; wear it out with this ensemble, or throw it on with skinny jeans and flats, or even a cute hoodie and sweats to class (you know, instead of that awful North Face Fleece that neeeeeds to be retired. Please. I am begging you).

The Purse: Different than the one Blake has above, but more suitable for a night out at the bar, this Croc Patent purse is Hot (with a capital “H”). And the best thing about patent leather? Spills… or vomit (ew) wipe off easy breezy instead of leaving a messy stain.

The Shoe: These shoes will make this look a bit more transitional for fall rather than the wrap sandals shown above. I would go with the Pewter or the black; they both go with everything.

Multi Chain Necklace: This final touch paired with the booties and motorcycle jacket will make that ‘fit “Too Legit To Quit” (Hey heeeeey).

Medically when the body is deprived of protein it becomes bloated, almost fat due to retention of water. As we see in photos form starving third world countries it is a common occurrence when the body suffers from a deficiency or lack of proper nutrition. But this is a Hollywood famine, starving in the finest of all restaurants while stowing a pharmacy away in your Balenciaga. In a world where every 3.6 seconds someone dies of hunger, we worship a culture of excess, fast food, binges and purges. Some children would even call Richie their idol; magazines promote her look as improved then attack her for being too skinny days later. Although anorexia is a disease it seems somehow unfair that the entire world is starving while America is on a crash diet.

In the fall of 2003 Nicole was arrested for Heroin possession and was sentenced to rehab. She claims that she has always been thin but gained weight while in the facility which would explain her appearance on The Simple Life shortly after. Over a period of three years Richie went from a healthy girl to a woman in the body of a child at 5’2’’ weighting just under 90lbs.

It was just a year ago that a 22 year old Brazilian model died on the runway, the horrific image of her collapse was a wake up call to the entertainment industry, what we consider fashionable could actually be a surefire death wish. Images of Nicole Richie running on the beach in a tiny blue bikini made the cover of magazines around the world, her bones poking through her hanging skin, it was so alarming people believed it to be photoshopped, contrived, and unreal. While some anorexics hide behind baggy clothes Nicole stripped down for photo ops, was this just a fashion statement, or a blatant cry for help?

Richie’s charismatic personality and undisputable humor made The Simple Life a hit show, distracting us from the conversational void of Paris Hilton, Nicole was more than just a sidekick she was in fact the entertainment. With the media monitoring her weight gains and losses it can’t be easy to maintain a healthy body image, it’s hard enough just flipping through the pages much less seeing yourself beside the unflattering blurbs.

The world can exhale, Paris Hilton is free. But it is Richie who will be up at bat next to battle her very own DUI case and may be the next to inhabit Paris’ old Lynwood stomping grounds. She will be battling her December arrest in which she was found driving the wrong way on an LA freeway in her 2005 Mercedes, volunteering information to officers Nicole confessed that she had taken vicodin and smoked marijuana leaving her disoriented before the incident. A dangerous and life threatening move, much worse in my opinion than Paris Hilton driving the correct way down Sunset after a few drinks, only time will tell if Nicole will also be made into an example like her pal. If her an boyfriend Joel Madden truly are expecting will her unborn child also serve as her get out of jail free card?

This season’s The Simple Life received little promotion. With Paris behind bars and Nicole awaiting trial it seems that even bad press is good press if you are a Hollywood socialite. If reports are true one can only hope that Nicole, pregnant or not will finally learn take care of herself not only for her child’s sake but for her own. Keep your fingers crossed and look forward to the plethora of future reality show possibilities; just think “The Simple Life: Motherhood”.

Let’s take Balenciaga‘s Spring ready-to-wear collection. Obviously, gold leggings were the stunner of this show. And why not? They’re totally hot….and $100,000, and one kind of gets the impression not too comfortable.

For a mere $36 dollars you can pick up a pair of gold leggings from your local American Apparel, pair them with a black jersey mini-dress, cute flats, and hit the library in style.

The spring dresses from Valentino, adorable, yet perhaps a little revealing for the classroom.

Walk yourself down to Forever21 with $27.80 and pick this up. It’s not too saucy, not too dressy, and would look damn good with the pair of Frye boots that I know you have. Please ladies, no Uggs. The death toll for that trend was too long coming. On a somewhat related note black nail polish is dead. I saw it on a middle aged lady in the subwaytoday. Go white, it’s fresh.