The truth is, money management and financial mumbo jumbo is boring and spending all that hard earned money is fun! Who wants boring when we can have this?

But it doesn’t have to be that way, which I learned after reading So Many Shoes, So Little Money: A Girl’s Guide to Finance. Lisa Serwin, a girly girl to her core, breaks all that budget business down in a way that is easy to understand and, even more importantly, easy to incorporate (realistically!) into the college girl’s life. Serwin doesn’t tell us to eat ramen and wear our leftovers from middle school; she explains how to save and how to spend in a way that won’t send us back to our childhood bedrooms when the money (inevitably) runs out.

Naturally, I needed her to set my budget to talk to her. And I did! Here is a bit about my new financial hero and a lot of useful information that all of us can benefit from!

5 Questions We Ask Everyone:

1. What’s your most hysterical/ridiculous college memory?
That’s fit for print? I accidentally locked myself in a second floor bathroom during a fraternity party.  The door handle broke off, and no one heard my pounding. (The one and only time in history there wasn’t a line for a ladies room!) I climbed out the bathroom window onto the roof – high heels and all, shimmied down a tree, and walked back in through the front door. However, apparently everyone had been watching my descent through the window.  When I walked back in I was greeted with cat calls and applause.

2. What are the five things you can’t live without?
In no particular order:
Great shoes
Chocolate
My family and friends
Books
A good night’s sleep (otherwise I’m really cranky)

3. What’s your motto/advice you live by?
I don’t actually have one. However, I’ve always liked: “People are more fun than anybody” by Dorothy Parker.

4. What’s your favorite song to belt out at the bar/in the car/for karaoke?
That’s a hard one – there are so many good choices.  Pretty much any cheesy 80s song that doesn’t require a lot of range…I am a truly AWFUL singer.

5. Ten years from now you will be…
Hopefully writing more books! I was a British history major in college prior to getting my Masters in Business so perhaps one day I’ll write a period romance novel.

5 Questions Just for Lisa:

1. What is the most important thing college women need to know/do when it comes to managing their money?
First and foremost, managing your finances is not hard…you can do it! The best thing you can do for yourself and your money is to make a budget.  The worst thing you can do is to charge more than you can afford on a credit card and not pay the bill in full when it arrives. Why? When you can’t pay your bill in full, the card companies charge you a fee. These charges are called interest and the amount of interest is called the Annual Percentage Rate (or APR). When you are unable to pay your bill in full every month, the charges for borrowing money from the credit card company add up very quickly.

2. What are the 2 things that are totally worth spending the extra money on vs. 2 things that are a complete waste?

Totally worth it: college education and experiences with friends (years from now you’ll never remember a sweater you bought but you always remember how much fun you had).
Complete waste: expensive cosmetics and beauty supplies.

3. What do you think is the hardest part of setting a budget and managing your money?
The hardest part of setting a budget is actually sitting down to make it!  But budgets are essential.  After all, how do you know how much you can spend if you don’t even know what you have? Making a budget is all about living within your means, knowing you’re on top of things, in control. Regardless of how much or—more to the point—how little money you have, if you live within your means, you’ll still have choices. Maybe not as many choices as you would like, but definitely choices.

By the way, it’s not what you budget—it’s how you utilize it. Attitude is everything. Most budgets fail because they are seen as a restraint as in, “It’s not in my budget.” Instead, think of a budget as a way to help you achieve your life’s goals and dreams. A budget doesn’t tell you what you can’t do; it tells you what you can do.

4. How much money should a college girl have in a savings account?
It depends on the girl! A good rule of thumb is to start by saving up to one month’s worth of living expenses. This may take awhile, but it is really crucial. You want to be able to take care of yourself if you hit any of life’s little bumps—and you will hit some. Then, work your way up to three months and promise yourself you won’t touch that money unless there is an emergency. The sooner you start saving, the better. I urge you to start saving now—even if you only have a little bit left over every month.

5. Why did you write this book? I mean, finance isn’t the most exciting topic to tackle for young women…
I want women to embrace the empowering notion that basic financial knowledge and a long-term plan can be the equivalent of front row tickets to Fashion Week. I want every woman to know how to manage her money.  At its best, money is about freedom and choices, options and opportunities. It’s about being able to live the life you want to live in the way you want to live it. Money allows you to be self-sufficient, with the confidence that comes with being independent and the freedom to make life choices that are right for you.  I think that’s tremendously exciting!

Originally, I was going to write an empowering and witty article about all the physical and mental benefits of being single.  Then I started my research and found…there were none.  Seriously.  Every study points in exactly the opposite direction.  Apparently, the healthiest thing we can do is get married.  Like, immediately.

Not gonna lie, I was kinda disappointed when I found out.  But then I reconsidered…maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get married right now, especially considering all these health benefits.  I could even print out the list and slap it down on the desk of that gorgeous guy in my photography class, saying “Eh? Eh? C’mon, it’s healthy.”  He won’t be able to resist, obviously.

In case you plan on executing a ninja-style attack on a cute guy like I do (that is, in fact, how I pick up all my boyfriends), I’ve made you a handy-dandy list of reasons to print out and share with your friends and crushes.  So here you go – all the reasons and benefits of getting married NOW!

Decreased Risk of Alzheimers/Dementia – Your risk of developing alzheimers, dementia, or any sort of cognitive impairment is halved when you’re married (compared to if you are single, divorced, separated or widowed).  Can’t argue with that…or, actually, you can ’cause you’ll be married and still have all your cognitive thought processes in place.

More Money – If you’re a modern woman, you’ve probably thrown a few bucks into the pot when you’re out on a date.  It’s just polite and what’s a few nights of paying for dessert or drinks gonna hurt?  Well, your bank account, for one (or at least mine).  When you’re married, you’ll have a larger pot to pull from and will therefore be able to save a lot more, too.

Less Smoking/Drinking – When you get married, you’ll obviously spend way less time at the bars because you’ll have already snagged yourself a winner.  This means less drinking and smoking (supposedly).  Also, there will be less Bridget Jones-esque nights spent on your couch in your flannels, drowning your sorrows in tobacco and wine while watching the Lifetime network (again, supposedly).

More (Safe) Sex – Assuming your ninja attack on the hottie who sits behind you in class works out, you’ll have free reign on bedroom fun time.  Who could resist?  Also, you’ll be doing less of the skanking-it-up-at-the-bar move (hopefully), which means less of  chance to catch herpes and whatnot while still getting laid on a regular basis. Win!

Less Physical Pain – If you’re married, you tend to suffer less from back pain and headaches. Awesome!  I’m assuming this is because your husband will do all the heavy lifting for you while moving into your new dorm room in the fall.  Also, they can take your finals for you because you will be legally one person.  So many benefits, it’s almost like having a personal assistant (or EXACTLY like having a personal assistant!).

Yeah, that jerk is usually me.

I’ve always been a cash girl – it’s efficient, it’s solid, and it’s hard to let go of. I just think credit cards make it too easy (“That’ll be $563.94” *swipe* “Thank you have a nice day!”) and that’s entirely my point. You can swipe away bucket-loads of money without realizing it. Credit cards make it so simple, it’s like you can get whatever you want and you’re not even spending real money.

However, when it comes down to forking over a twenty dollar bill to some Starbucks chick for a cup of coffee, I’m much more hesitant to get the overpriced (albeit ridiculously addictive) Venti Caramel Frap. With cash, it’s either you have it or you don’t. With credit, you always have it (or so you think).

I’ve seen many a times when my girlfriends get a little swipe happy and come home with shopping bags full of things they can’t really afford because “they can always pay it back later.” And I’m not too psyched about debit cards either – $32 overdraft fees because I went a dollar over my limit? Yeah okay.

I must admit that the only thing keeping me from shelling out hundreds at a time on online shopping is my serious lack of plastic. But I have reached a point in my life where it is almost impossible to go without a credit card and an embarrassment not to have a bank account. I’m all for hiding money in the mattress (uh… I mean not hiding it in my mattress- great, now the thieves will know where to look) but it simply isn’t practical anymore. I get it, I need to start building my credit. No bank = no credit = no interest = no security. So yes, I have resorted to getting myself some plastic.

But honestly, I’m worried about swiping myself to debt (ha!). Any advice? Anyone in the same boat?
Paper or plastic?

Ok, before everyone gets up in arms about every generalization I just made, let me clarify: if you disagree with everything I just said, you probably don't need this column. But if you're nodding along because you're officially an adult and still don't know how to manage your money, then you might want to pay attention every week, because I'm going to (try to) get you through this, and make you a successful saver and a wise spender. Starving college students of the world, I bring you Money Matters: a Guide to Handling Your Income (or Lack Thereof).]

This week, I’d like to introduce you to a splendid gem called Free Student Checking. Now, normally, banks will hold your money for you, but they like to find sneaky ways to make a few bucks back themselves. Some checking accounts, for example, have a minimum balance that you always have to have in your account. If your balance goes below that minimum, you get a fine.

Yeah, that’s right. You have to PAY your BANK for being too poor to have any money in the account that consists entirely of your own money that you started out with in the first place. I understand credit card late fees– with credit, you’re spending money you don’t necessarily have– but a fine on your own money? That’s bullsh*t.

Luckily, the banks have caught on to the fact that college kids won’t open accounts if they know they won’t be able to keep up with the minimum account balance… and the fact that once we’ve graduated and become successful career men and women, they can switch us to premium accounts and fine the ever-loving sh*t out of us.

Free student checking comes with a variety of perks. First of all, it’s free. No interest, no fines (unless you overdraw), no minimum balance, and they usually only require about $50 or so to open them. So, just put off buying one textbook for about a day and you’ll have the money to open a checking account and become a real grown up, personalized checks and all.

Before you hop over to the first bank in sight, however, it’s wise to do some research. Because college students should ALWAYS be on their toes for a bargain, whether it’s free food sponsored by the PanHellenic Society, Penny Night at the Pub, or a free toaster with every new bank account.

Seriously, though, shop around. Some banks will give you MONEY just to sign with them. I got $50 last summer for opening a new direct deposit account with M&T Bank, for example, and when I used Wachovia in the past, they were always advertising bonuses for students who got friends to open checking accounts as well. Search for banks in your area on Google Maps and see if there are any perks for opening a new account.

Then, proceed to step two:

Check out the long-term benefits of the account. Remember, you and your new bank are going to have at least a four or five-year relationship, and you want the relationship to be as much a one way street as it can be (in your favor, of course).

Currently, Bank of America has an online student checking offer, which includes a “Stuff Happens” card, good for a one-time fee refund (read: if you overdraw once, you can waive the pricey fine); a free check card (read: debit card); free online banking with unlimited bill pay (read: no fees for paying bills online); and an easy way for your parents to deposit money into your account (read: you can still beg for cash).

Wachovia’s Free Student Checking also offers one-time overdraft protection, but also includes a free savings account, for those of you motivated scholars who actually hope to put some cash away for a rainy day. AND Wachovia’s plan includes a “Way 2 Save” program, which encourages students to make debit card purchases and pay bills online, allowing you to accrue cash-value points for every check, purchase, and payment, in addition to a rebate on the money you’ve saved in your account each year. Talk about rewarding responsibility!

Other perks include Key Bank‘s ATM fee reimbursement plan, Washington Mutual‘s reward-earning debit card, and Meta Bank‘s checks with your school logo on ‘em (for you spirited savers out there)!

The bottom line is, you’re going to have to start managing your money eventually, so you may as well take advantage of the student-friendly perks of free checking accounts. Along the way, you’ll learn to balance your checkbook, make financial transactions, and become more aware of how much you’re earning and spending. Even if you take advantage of the “no minimum balance” advantage and constantly flirt with overdrawing your account, at least you’re getting started.

By the end of this series, you might even have enough to call “savings.”

Nonetheless, I’ve learned to actually save money in recent years. I’ve learned that there are things I do WANT (that cater to my hedonism) that require saved money. So, I’ve cut back on some things that used to completely drain my wallet and saved more than you can imagine. Here are 5 tips if you’d like to do the same:

REPLACE YOUR ENERGY DRINKS WITH COFFEE. FROM HOME.

I have a serious caffeine addiction. It’s not cute; it’s tormenting. The worst part is that I truly do prefer a sugar free Red Bull to a cup of coffee. But I’ve learned to cut back. At $2-$3 a can, my energy drinks can be shelved for the most *crucial* of days…which is not, contrary to my previous beliefs, every single day of the week. Now I brew my own iced coffee every morning and use a box of splenda to get over my sugar fears. It absolutely does the trick and I’ve saved at least $45 a month doing this.

DRINK FOR FREE. (or cheaply)

Okay. You can’t drink for free in every city, but you can plan ahead. Using websites like myopenbar.com will get you drinking for free in cities like New York and Los Angeles. For everyone else out there, take note of the happy hours near you. Plan your drinking around these sort of things! Don’t fool yourself into believing that $8 for a glass of wine is ok. Screw that. Get a bottle and drink it with your friends before you head out to the concert…or lecture. And remember that flask you got as a joke for your birthday that one year? Yeah. Use it. Learning to combat my drinking spending has saved me an incredible amount of money. I’d say that it saves me about $200 a month these days.

YOUR FOOD SPLURGES… LETS TALK.

You don’t have to always meet your friends for dinner. That kinda stuff adds up! There’s nothing wrong at all with meeting for coffee, or dessert, or coffee AND dessert. If you’re trying to save money, tell your friends you’ll be late to dinner but you can join them for dessert. This way, you’ll be spending $5-$10 instead of $15-$40. Learning to choose my dinner outings carefully has started to save me at least $100 a month.

WATCH YOUR TRANSPORTATION.

If you’re in a big city, you’re a little better off than everyone else these days. At least you can use the subways and buses..which are…respectively, much cheaper than gas. But watch out for those compulsive trips in a taxi. They add up. As for everyone else, there are ways to combat gas prices. First of all, buy a bike if you don’t have one. They’re a small investment, but they’ll save you tons of money in the end. Be careful about riding home drunk though, cause, um, you can (cough cough) get a DUI for this. On top of the bike, carpool with your friends…or WALK. Do whatever you can not to use your car. It’s better for your wallet and the environment, too. I’ve saved around $40 a month from thinking carefully about my transportation spending, but I don’t drive. I’m sure that throwing the price of gas into the equation could lead to savings in the hundreds per month.

OH BEAUTY, IT’S A B*TCH.

Far too many girls I know spend far too much money on looking ‘beautiful’. I just don’t believe in it. I believe in cutting your hair yourself when you can. I believe in dying your hair yourself. I believe in home manicures/pedicures, self-made spa treatments, and shopping sprees at Salvation Army. If you find that you’re spending a good chunk of change on purses, shoes, massages, nails, hair…it’s time to think about your life a little more. Are you SURE there aren’t alternatives for your appearance-oriented spending? I’ve certainly found an alternative to most of the typical girl beauty spending and I bet you can, too. I’ve managed to save around $150 a month by doing things myself.

(Photo from: smallbusinessanswers.com)

As far as eating out goes, I’ll have to tighten my belt a little; I’ve already eaten in a few great places, but I’m keeping my eye on cheap places. Here are a few tips I’ve learned so far about living affordably in ANY city for the summer:

• Always look for a student rate at museums. The Met and other major museums will always have student rates, so bring your college ID; you’ll be able to enjoy a taste of culture at about half price.

• Cook for yourself. It’s great to try new places to eat, but you can’t eat out every day. Restaurants will be a serious blow to your finances, so if you have access to a kitchen, use it! Find your closest grocery store and stock up on easy-to-prepare foods like pasta. Liven up your meals by getting a recipe book and stocking up on fresh vegetables. A friend of mine and I made a fabulous meal just by throwing a few vegetables in a saucepan with garlic and olive oil and putting the concoction on top of some pasta. Magnifique, and it made enough to last us for multiple meals.

• Avoid tourist spots. Sure, Times Square is exciting, but if you’re living in the city for the summer, this is your opportunity to explore the lesser-known spots. If you’re in New York, try exploring Chinatown, the village, or SoHo; everything is more affordable, and you’ll feel great for discovering something a little off the beaten track.

• Get a Netflix account. If you’ve ever tried seeing a movie in Times Square, you’ve probably experienced the coronary-inducing price of movie tickets there. Movie tickets are another big drain on finances for college students, so if you have a permanent mailing address, consider getting a very affordable Netflix account to enjoy your movies. For $8 a month, you can see unlimited movies; compare that to a $12 Times Square movie ticket for just one flick.

As if it wasn’t hard enough to weed out all the sketchies at the bar already, we now have something else to be suspicious of. His phone number.Well, not the actual number, but what he writes it on.

There’s no doubt in my mind that the creator of these Custom Fake Receipts must be some, graduated college in nine years Van-Wilder-type frat boy living off Daddy’s money ‘til he struck it rich thanks to the desperate-for-female-attention market he once was so proudly a part of. (You know those guys that will do absolutely anything to get in your pants?)

These counterfeit ATM slips have an agonizingly pathetic purpose. The gameplan? Mr. I-Used-Four-Bottles-of-Gel-to-Get-My-Hair-Like-This actually succeeds in buying some innocent girl enough drinks to get her nice and sloppy, and just when her beer goggles have set in just right, (he looks more like James Marsden than James Gandolfini all of a sudden) he whips out one of these slips.

It’s like it’s just some crinkled receipt he carelessly stuffed in his “overstuffed” wallet, he scribbles his number on the back, and hopes you’re curious enough to wake up the next morning, examine the slip, and realize you’ve struck gold, literally. These fake receipts are meant to give the receiver the false impression that your bank account is well-endowed, (much moreso than anyone that uses these slips probably is ahem, in other departments.)

Pardon me for being a naive, but since when are guys looking for golddiggers? Is that now a desirable trait in a date, or did too many guys take to heart that damn Good Charlotte song? And forgive me for stating the obvious, but won’t these foolish ladies realize at some point that you’re not loaded? Like when they’re stuck riding in your mom’s brokedown ’96 Dodge minivan? Or the first time you take them to your 3×5 foot apartment?

Why can’t guys realize that our attraction to them stems from their confidence in who they are, money or lack thereof? I can’t speak for all women, after all, there are plenty who do care about a bloke’s wallet more than his personality, but why waste your hard earned cash trying to win those ones over?

After all, a year’s supply of these receipts will cost you fifteen Washingtons, which makes no sense to me, really. Wouldn’t anyone who truly felt the need to invest in this deceiving tool not really have a disposable income to begin with? Here’s a tip gentleman, save your fifteen dollars and spend it on a nice cheap date with a kind open-minded girl. Cheers.