Get it out of your system now, ladies.

If there’s one thing we all know (but often try to deny), it’s that college is basically it’s own little universe. It’s that beer-drinking, bar-hopping, Cliff Notes-reading, coffee-chugging “safe haven” between the comfort of your parents’ home and that place everybody calls “the real world.” And unfortunately, we all know that “real world” is much less exciting than MTV moguls would like us to believe.

As a senior, I’ve finally realized one very important thing: College is awesome. And there’s quite a lot of sh*t you can get away with here that just isn’t gonna fly once you graduate. For example:

1. Mid-day naps. Unless you decide to hightail your pretty bum down to Mexico or start your own company or something, mid-day siestas are generally not in the typical workin’ girl schedule. Oh, how I love the five hour breaks in between my classes.

2. Threesomes. Unless you want to end up like Charlotte in SATC, watching your dude getting’ frisky and feelin’ up some rando-girl while you stand awkwardly on the sidelines, I think threesomes are definitely better explored pre-graduation. I think almost everybody has at least one wild hookup story (that may or may not involve multiple partners) by the time they leave college. And that’s where those kind of explorations should probably stay. In college. Read More »

Giving up my nights out was not something I was especially prepared to do when I started scouring my college town for a job; who wants to be folding clothes amidst an asthma-inducing Abercrombie cologne cloud late into the evening when your girls are out at $1 pitcher night? Nobody.

That’s why I became a cocktail waitress.

Well, that and I heard Tiger Woods George Clooney was fond of them.

Naturally, I see a lot of…er… interesting, for lack of a better word, things during the late night shifts. Things that I know I’ve been guilty of doing, and that all you CC ladies are probably guilty of as well. Believe me, your signature twist+bend and snap combo dance moves do not look as sexy as you think, even if that drunk frat boy tells you they are. And as good as Journey is, “Don’t Stop Believing” is not “the best song of all effing time!!”

Because our thoughts tend to be a little muddled when we’re a few sheets to the stale bar air wind, I thought I’d help everyone see just what a typical drunken night is from a more honest (read: sober) perspective. So join me as we analyze things (hey, we’re all friends here!) from both sides of the crowded bar. Read More »

Ladies, it’s time to save some moolah to purchase the greatest invention since sliced bread: The Cleavage Caddy!

Yes, the name in itself sounds a little WTF with a pinch of late-night infomercial, but have no fear, the Cleavage Caddy may just be our new savior. What is it exactly? Well it’s a bra…that also simultaneously doubles as a mini-purse! Plus, if you’re wearing a low-cut top, it makes a very cute layering cami.

That’s three essentials for the price of one. Holler.

This may be the most clever invention for women since…let me think…birth control? Think about those nights when you’re out on the town, bar hopping, and along with your 5-inch platform pumps and skinny minny dresses, you have to worry about holding a clutch/purse with all your valuables. With the cleavage caddy, you can easily stuff everything you need to bring (ID, lipstick, money, keys, credit cards, charm and wit) into your cleavage and be a social butterfly the whole night. Not only will you be hands-free for those Long Island ice teas, the cleavage caddy will definitely add a kick to your step. Read More »

Unfortunately my required outfit is less extravagant

Giving up my nights out was not something I was especially prepared to do when I started scouring my college town for a job; who wants to be folding clothes amidst an asthma-inducing Abercrombie cologne cloud late into the evening when your girls are out at $1 pitcher night? Nobody.

That’s why I became a cocktail waitress.

Well, that and I heard Tiger Woods George Clooney was fond of them.

Naturally, I see a lot of…er… interesting, for lack of a better word, things during the late night shifts. Things that I know I’ve been guilty of doing, and that all you CC ladies are probably guilty of, as well. Believe me, your signature twist+bend and snap combo dance moves do not look as sexy as you think, even if that drunk frat boy tells you they are. And as good as Journey is, “Don’t Stop Believing” is not “the best song of all effing time!!”

Because our thoughts tend to be a little muddled when we’re a few sheets to the stale bar air wind, I thought I’d help everyone see just what a typical drunken night is from a more honest (read: sober) perspective. So join me as we analyze things (hey, we’re all friends here!) from both sides of the crowded bar. Read More »

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the ro Read More »

It doesn't matter what you wear. This bag will make the outfit.

Going out 3-5 nights a week is a lot of pressure. You have to learn to pace yourself so that you can go out again the following night, you’ve got to learn your limit so you aren’t throwing up in class the next day, and you’ve got to look cute.

The “going out top” has become an often-used phrase in the shopping vocabulary of college girls nationwide, but oftentimes we forget about the rest of the outfit. Like the bag. Stacy London will tell you that a bag is just important to a complete look as your top. It makes a statement and not just “I’m hiding this girl’s tampons.”

That being said, using the same clutch 5 nights in a row is not only a big fashion mistake, but it leaves your trusty black “going out bag” covered in beer stains, marks from the dirty bathroom floor and some sticky crap that landed on the side after you dropped it on you walk of shame home. That’s a good look on no one.

But how does anyone justify buying a new clutch when they’re so damn expensive? Seriously? $200 for something that barely fits my cell phone?

Well, not anymore!

Now you can complete your “going out” look – bag and all – without breaking the bank! I found some of the cutest clutches around (big, small, ruffled, leather…)and all of them are – wait for it – under $30! At that price you can snatch them all up, or at least grab two that make a bold statement and rotate. You’ll look good and still have a little money leftover to store in one of these clutch clutches. Read More »

If there’s one thing we all know (but often try to deny), it’s that college is basically it’s own little universe. It’s that beer-drinking, bar-hopping, Cliff Notes-reading, coffee-chugging “safe haven” between the comfort of your parent’s home and that place everybody calls “the real world.” And unfortunately, we all know that “real world” is much less exciting than MTV moguls would lead us to believe.

As a senior, I’ve finally realized one very important thing: College is awesome. And there’s quite a lot of sh*t you can get away with here that just isn’t gonna fly once you graduate. For example:

1. Mid day naps. Unless you decide to hightail your pretty bum down to Mexico or start your own company or something, midday siestas are generally not in the typical workin’ girl schedule. Oh, how I love the five hour breaks in between my classes.

2. Threesomes. Unless you want to end up like Charlotte in SATC, watching your dude getting’ frisky and feelin’ up some rando-girl while you stand awkwardly on the sidelines, I think threesomes are definitely better explored pre-graduation. I think almost everybody has at least one wild hookup story (that may or may not involve multiple partners) by the time they leave college. And that’s where those kind of explorations should probably stay. In college.

3. All nighters and Adderall binges. I’m pretty sure it’s not “adultlike” to stay up all night, downing cups of coffee and caffeine pills (or whatever your all-nighter drug of choice may be) to finish whatever crazy task your boss asks of you. Purple bruise-like bags under your eyes will never be sexy. Especially for an early morning meeting. Read More »

My phone is ringing. Again. And again. And again. At 4 a.m. my ex calls, just to shoot the breeze. I have to get up for work in three hours! The six missed calls earlier were not one, not two or three, but four different friends calling to find out what I was doing that evening and if I wanted to go out for drinks.

This is not a weekend.

This is a Wednesday night.

It seems the time has come to prune some extraneous leaves on the branches of my social tree. My phonebook now includes some names to which I cannot even match the slightest hint of a face.

I have now reached the stage where I can answer the question, “So what are you up to tonight?” with, “Oh nothing,” and invariably end up somewhere loud at three in the morning stumbling into a dirty bathroom and incessantly repeating the line that never fails to impress: “I have work in the morning! I can’t believe that I am out doing this!” Read More »