Welcome home for Thanksgiving! Where the lines at the bar are ridiculous, the drinks can’t come fast enough, and while you think it’s deja vu you’ve got going on – you actually ARE having the same 3-minute conversation with blasts from your not-so-distant past over and over and over.

And over.

It’s a funny concept this “home for Thanksgiving bar night” we’ve got going. It’s the biggest bar night of the year, but every year brings about the same conversation that leaves me wanting to bang my head into a wall. But even though I don’t, I somehow wake up feeling like I did.

It goes a little something like this:

Your 7th grade frenemy: “Hi! (looks you up and down here) Oh-my-god you look great! What are you doing now? Where do you live? Are you single? Omg so great to see you… Ah! Look who just walked in! Pom-pon Captain Susie! She got fat! Better go say hi!!! We should totally get together for drinks or something! Facebook me! So great to see you! Read More »

Every week, I write a list. Not a to-do list (I feel like they’re always mocking me) or a grocery list (because “Jimmy John’s” isn’t really a list) or even that list (lord knows I wish I was updating that thing weekly….). No, my list is on whatever hard-hitting issue I find relevant at 11p.m. on Sunday night. And you know it doesn’t get more hard-hitting than Back to School season or why I’m hating everything, right? Today’s big topic: people I want to dump my beer on at the bar. Alright, ladies – stay with me.

So it’s Friday. (Or Thursday, Saturday, or Tuesday morning….) You’ve got your favorite skinny jeans on, you stuffed your feet into a pair of  heels that start rubbing on your baby toes before you even leave the house, and you’re sipping on a little vodka/Crystal Light to get the night going. Once you’re feeling buzzed enough to handle the crowds at the campus bar, you throw that purse over your shoulder, loop arms with your besties and do a little run/walk into the night.

Only when you arrive, you realize pretty quickly that perhaps a few more drinks would have been a good idea before running into these annoying bar-goers.

10. Sloppy in Line:
We’ve all had that night. Whether it’s our 21st birthday or our “I just got dumped and need a night to get over it,” we’ve had the wasted-before-I-even-left-the-shower kind of an evening. But when I’m not having that night and someone else is tripping and falling into me, slurring his/her words and spewing chunks very close to my heels before we even get inside (true story), it’s not OK.

9. Martini Drinkers:
Repeat after me: there is no way to get this overpriced and probably watered-down martini from the bar to my table without spilling it everywhere. Even if I walk incredibly slowly and piss off everyone who is trying to get by me and to the bar.

8. Creepers:
I mean, do I really even need to say why?

7. Woo Hoo Girls:
(At least that’s what the How I Met Your Mother crew calls them.) These girls love to scream. When their boot of beer arrives, they scream. When their other Woo Hoo girl arrives, they scream. When Journey/Miley Cyrus comes on, they scream. When one of the Woo Hoo girls comes back from the bathroom with bloodshoot eyes and a little splash of puke on her cheek, they scream. And with each successive drink, the screams get louder and more shrill.

6. Bitter, Angry Bartenders:
All I’m asking you to do is crack open an Amstel Light and pass it over to me. What’s with the ‘tude?

5. Random Couple Trying to be Romantic:
Of all the quiet, coupley places you could go on campus to have a nice night, you chose this sweaty basement bar? Nevermind the fact that you can’t hear one another over the Usher songs blaring from the DJ booth, but there is nothing romantic about a bunch of really drunk, really sweaty kids grinding against the walls.

4. Bathroom Girls:
Hey you by the mirror – adding more powder isn’t going to make you look less shiny. Just thank god for the low lighting and get a move on. And you three in the handicap stall – can you stop crying about the boy that totally blew you off and let someone else use the toilet? And the rest of the girls in the world who just happen to take a long time to do their business, HURRY UP. I broke the seal/need to get back out there before ‘Like a Prayer’ comes on.

3. The Bar Loiterer
I know that at Cheers and The After Dark (behind the Peach Pit) people grab seats and order at the bar. But we’re in college, people, and there are hundreds of wanna-be-drunk patrons behind you trying to get their paws on a shark bowl. Can you be a doll, stop trying to look all sexy leaning up against the bar with that Miller Lite and walk. away? Kthanxbye.

2. The Big Dancer:
If you bump into me one more time, I swear to god…..

1. Ms. Perfect:
Seriously, how? How do you keep your hair straight, your makeup fresh and your pits dry while, by 1am, my sweaty hair is in a ponytail, my eyeliner is on a journey down my cheek and I have very obvious under-boob sweat stains on my cami? HOW?!

Let’s be honest for a moment: house parties and bar hopping are all great weekend (or weeknight…or weekday…) activities, but they can get pretty exhausting for us ladies. We have to primp for hours, wear excruciatingly high heels and tight clothes, and still manage to look good after gettin’ low on the dance floor to whatever Black Eyed Peas song the DJ decides to play.

By the end of the night, our jacket is missing, the backs of our heels are bleeding, and our perfectly straightened coif is now plastered to our foreheads.

Not anymore! We at CollegeCandy have been perfecting the art of going out for a few years now and we’ve finally mastered it. Behold: the party girl’s 5 best friends that will get her through anything, from A (apartment party) to Z (ZBT boy in your bed the next morning).

Read More »

In this new series we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer for a month as she takes on a personal challenge. This month we’re following Lauren from University of Michigan. She’s going sober for the month of February and will be sharing her ups (like feeling great last weekend!) and downs with us each Saturday.

It’s official: I’ve been 100% sober for a full two weeks! (I’ve even opted out of using mouthwash!) While that may not be such a big deal to some people out there (ahem, mean commenters, ahem), I am really, really proud of myself. Especially after the week I’ve had.

My first week of this challenge was pretty easy, breeezy Cover Girl. The weekdays flew by and then I was back at my parents’ house, where the temptation to drink was pretty minimal. But since then, I’ve survived a steakhouse dinner without wine, a Super Bowl party without beer, and two very serious nights at the bar without shots, shots, shots, shots shots.

On Thursday night I hit a low key bar with a few friends. They sipped on some beers and I sipped on some Diet Cokes. We were all having a great time – talking, catching up, giving guys the eyes across the bar. I really didn’t miss drinking at all, especially when I only spent $3 the entire night (unlike beer and vodka, Diet Coke has free refills at the bar!). But it wasn’t totally smooth sailing; LMFAO came on the jukebox towards the end of the evening, which, as we all know, makes you want to drink. Or chug. I was starting to cave. I was having a hard time remembering why I was doing all this. Seriously, Had Ke$ha or Miley come on next, I probably would have had to run out of the bar screaming. Instead, I took a little sniff of my friends’ SoCo Lime shots, grimaced, and instantly felt better about my decision. Read More »

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the ro Read More »

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.

No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

You spent all day curled up in bed with a hot beverage in your hand and thick socks on your feet. You debated even getting up to pee. Your bed is so warm and the world is just so cold. Your roommates join you in the middle of the day to watch old episodes of Sex and the City. Normally you’d be at the gym, or the library, or walking around campus, but not today – not in the dead of winter.

There is no way in hell you are getting out of bed.

When your phone rings at 9 you assume it’s the pizza guy delivering the large white pie you ordered with the roomies. You purposely left the front door unlocked last time you ran to the bathroom (with the blanket over your shoulders) so he could let himself in and bring the pizza to your bedside.

Only it’s not the pizza guy; it’s your guy friend. You pick up and it takes two words (beach party) for you to kick off those wool socks and get you out of your warm and toasty bed.

“The boys are having a beach party tonight. We have to go! We can pretend it’s warm out! We can’t lock ourselves in side all winter, girls!” Read More »

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you.

So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

You woke up early to work out before class. After an hour on the elliptical and thirty minutes in the weight room (20 of which were spent staring at the dudes at the bench press), you head home to get ready for your day. You shower, throw on a pair of jeans, and grab a yogurt and some fruit on the way out the door.

For lunch you eat a salad (with the dressing on the side), and an huge glass of water.

Your afternoon snack is a Ziploc baggie filled with Kashi and, if you really need it, a Grande coffee with 2 pumps of Sugar Free Vanilla from Starbucks.

For dinner you have a veggie burger and a baked potato. You treat yourself to a can of Diet Coke. You feel full and satisfied; all this healthy eating and living isn’t really as hard as you were expecting it to be!

While you are downing the last of your D.C. your roommate runs into the room and invites you to the bar.

“Come onnnnnn. Pleaaaase? I don’t wanna go aloooooone. I promise it will be fun. I’ll buy you drinksssss!” Read More »

Welcome home for Thanksgiving! Where the lines at the bar are ridiculous, the drinks can’t come fast enough, and while you think it’s dejavu you’ve got going on – you actually ARE having the same 3 minute conversation with blasts from your not-so-distant past over and over and over.

And over.

It’s a funny concept this “home for Thanksgiving bar night” we’ve got going. It’s the biggest bar night of the year, but every year brings about the same conversation that leaves me wanting to bang my head into a wall. But even though I don’t, I somehow wake up feeling like I did.

It goes a little something like this: Read More »