That being said, it can sometimes be pretty obvious when someone is at a bar for the first time. No matter how hard you might be trying to fit in, that’s probably exactly what’s making you stand out. And trust me, you don’t want to be that girl. Sometimes, no matter how much everyone drinks, there are some things people just don’t forget.

Here are a few handy little tips on how to handle yourself the first time you make an appearance at a bar — from one bar veteran to a bar virgin, trust me on these.

Dress appropriately. I can’t stress this enough. You might think you’ve finally found a place to wear that skin-tight, super-short, leopard print dress you got at Too Cute, but consider your surroundings first. Most bars are relatively casual, especially local ones. I can’t tell you how many bars I’ve been to where everyone is in jeans and a cute top, and in walks an 18-year-old girl in a tiny dress and sky-high heels looking completely out of place and completely 18. Those outfits are usually better suited for a club. Not that you can’t look cute at a bar — you should. But I would say it’s definitely more of a casual environment.

Maybe don’t get on top of the bar. Everyone has those blackout drunk nights that end in waking up in the morning and seeing a hundred pictures of themselves dancing on top of a bar tagged on Facebook. All of my friends, myself included, have found ourselves up there at one point of another. But you probably don’t want to get the reputation as the girl who’s always slutting it up there. You know, the girl who goes up there in one of those really short little dresses so that everyone can see her underwear (or lack thereof), and clumsily pours shots down guys’ throats and shirts and then proceeds to dance like she thinks she’s J-Lo. It’s not the best look…for anyone.

Not everyone cares how drunk you are. You don’t need to loudly proclaim how wasted you are to everyone in your vicinity every five minutes. I can guarantee that no one cares, except for maybe that creepy guy in the corner who’s been watching you. In other words, keep the screeching to a minimum. Nothing is worse than a group of underage girls shrieking about how much they drank and how they don’t know how they’re going to get home.

Keep your friends close. Yes, what your mom has always told you is true – you should definitely use the buddy system when you’re out at a bar. You’ll have to deal with a lot of creepy guys — guys who don’t know what the word ‘no’ means, those guys that just hang around looking at you and muttering under their breath. Or maybe you’re not sober enough to realize the guy you’re eagerly chatting up is actually NOT cute (this is where a friend comes in). Or maybe you’ll get lucky and find a cute guy who needs someone to entertain his friend — hello wing-woman! Also, you just shouldn’t sit alone in a bar. It’s sad.

Try not to spend the night in the bathroom. Don’t get so wasted that you’re leaning over a disgusting bar toilet bowl for hours on end. This one is helpful for you and your girls — none of your friends want their night out wasted by having to hold your hair back as you puke. And you don’t need to be seen looking like the definition of a hot mess when you walk out at the end of the night, dried vomit on your cute shirt, your hair stringy, and looking like you’re about to hook up with death.

Tip generously. Especially if you plan on returning. You will learn that building a friendship with your bartender will be one of the most important relationships of your college career. No, but seriously, being buddy-buddy with the bartenders can only be a good thing. Not only will they make your drinks extra strong, but you’ll usually get free drinks and shots out of it, and they’ll also notice you even when it’s super crowded. Not to mention they make for some pretty great conversation at the end of the night.

No more slipping your older, cooler friends a twenty in line at the liquor store for getting you your goods. No more getting completely annihilated before the bars because your drinking has to end the second you leave the security of your own home. And best of all, no more trying to scrub off those despised black X’s in the bathroom sink of the bar.

Ladies, you’re about to enter a magical time in your life where paper wristbands are your new favorite accessories and Tylenol is your new best friend. So toss that fake I.D. aside and get ready for a ride.  You’re turning 21.  Now how do you survive it?

Pre-Drinking Preparation. It’s all about getting your room ready for your future drunken self.  Before you go out for the night, make sure your room is ready for your return because you might not even know who you are, let alone how to get into a bed, by the end of the night.

1. Pull the covers back on your bed to make it easier to pass out in.
2. Put the garbage can next to your bed. Obvious reasons.
3. Set a container of bottled water next to you. When you wake up, you’ll be thirsty…but there’s a good chance won’t feel like moving.

It may seem pointless now, but you’ll thank yourself later.

Plan Your Outfit Accordingly. If you’re wearing that cute, little dress you’ve been saving for weeks for your special night, you may want to invest in a pair of compression shorts to wear underneath it.  After multiple shots, you could very well end up rolling around on the floor of the bar thinking you’re a world-famous break dancer. Trust me, it happens. In the morning you’ll be glad everyone didn’t get a look at your Barbie underwear.  Or, see you in your birthday suit.

Designate a “Mom” for the Night. Or multiple Moms. Depending on your level of wildness, it may take more than one person to keep you under control on your big night. It’s always a good idea to have someone there to make sure you don’t drink too much…and then hold your hair for you the next morning when you do. This person also comes in handy when you’re trying to get home at night. Choose to have a drinking Mom, or end up waking up in someone’s front lawn when the sprinkler system goes off. It’s up to you.

Take a Picture— It’ll Last Longer. Since the likelihood of you remembering your night is pretty much nonexistent, you’ll want a team of photographers (a.k.a. your friends) to help you relive the craziness…over and over again.  If you have a successful night, your pictures will be nowhere near Facebook appropriate but they will definitely give you a good laugh and something to show your grandkids someday.

Don’t Lose Your S#^&. Believe it or not, there’s a feeling that’s worse than puking your guts out the morning after a great night out— the feeling in your gut when you realize you’ve lost your license, student ID, and everything else you took out with you the night before. To avoid this problem, you have a few options:

Option #1: Have a friend carry the important items you’ll need to get into the bar, such as your license and money.

Option #2: Put your important items in a wristlet…and duct tape the wristlet to your wrist.

Option #3: Stick your important items in your compression shorts if you decide to wear them. Nothing can escape the compression shorts.

Have Your Cake and Eat it Too. Your 21^st birthday only happens once so live it up.  If you want to do snow angels in the middle of a parking lot on the way home from the bar, do them.  If you’re in the mood for some take-out after you get back, order it. With dessert! And if your friend’s man is lookin’ extra fine, he’s yours! Okay, just kidding on that one. Guess we can’t have everything we want.  But seriously, you’re the birthday girl. Take advantage of that!

I’m proud to say I survived my 21^st…in a blizzard.  And I may or may not have indulged in some snow angel making. You’ll never know. How did you survive your 21^st birthday?

Your hair is done, your makeup is on and your outfit is perfect. All you have to do is pack that wristlet and you’re ready to head out with your friends. Money? Check. ID? Check. Camera? Check.

Before you leave, you mix a few drinks and have a mini-dance party with the girls. Two rum and Diets and a few old school Britney songs later, it’s time to head out. But not without a “SELFIE!!”

You gather the girls around, make your sexy face, stick that arm out and capture the moment.

“Let me see!” your friends shriek.
“Ew. I have a double chin. One more!” So you take one more.
“Cuuuute!” everyone agrees. You put the camera back in your bag and head off to the bars.

Once there, you whip that camera out, strap it to your wrist and settle in for a night of partying. You beeline to the bar and order a round of shots. You snap a picture of them sitting on the bar, then you snap another of you and your friends cheers-ing. Then you ask the random dude standing next to you to get a picture of you taking them.

You chase the shot with a round of vodka sodas. Before you take the first sip, you ask a girl standing nearby to take a picture of you guys holding your drinks. Then, remembering how good you look, you ask your friend to get a shot of you and your drink alone.

“FACEBOOK!” you scream.

Suddenly, you hear Kelly Clarkson blaring from the DJ booth. You make your way to the dance floor, camera swinging from your wrist, to shake your rump. You do a little dance, pause, and take a picture of your friend getting humped from behind by a total shadester. Then you gather the girls together for a selfie.

“Want me to take that for you?” a nice gentleman asks.

“Nah, I love me some selfies.” You stick your arm out (and your chin up – you don’t want any double-chin action) and take the pic. Realizing you left the camera on zoom and only captured your teeth and your friend’s hair, you do it again.

“CUTE!” you all shriek.

“Ok, now let’s do ‘you just found out your boyfriend is gay’,” one friend proposes. You huddle up, stick the camera out and take the pic. Then you pass it around for everyone to admire.

“Ok, how about ‘who farted?’” another friend recommends. So you do it again. And again. And again. There is “sexy,” and “drunk,” and “your drink is empty.”

When you go to the bathroom, you snap some pictures (“SELFIE IN THE STALL!”). When you stop for pizza on the way home you snap some pictures (“SELFIE WITH A SLICE!”). When you get home and your feet are totally blistery from those heels, you snap some pictures (“Ew, our feet are gross!”).

And when you wake up in the morning, you grab your camera and flip through the ridiculousness that was last night. By the time you make it out of bed, you have 5 emails from friends begging you to post those puppies on Facebook.

Yup – been there. I don’t know what it is, but – much like a guy in a hot pair of jeans -  there is something about the alcohol/selfie combo that is just impossible to resist.

We’re well into another new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back the fan-favorite series, “We’ve All Been There.”  (We tried to get another national holiday/long weekend for you guys but it’s way harder than we thought so this will have to do.) Every week, Lauren – University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share – like procrastinating or using the not-so-private bathrooms. Read, relate, cringe and enjoy.

It might be your roommate’s birthday, or your birthday, or just another Saturday night on campus. Either way, you are currently standing in front of your over-stuffed closet in a towel with wet hair dripping down your back. You’ve got your pre-party mix blasting from your laptop as you scan your closet for something to wear.

To the left is a pile of jeans. 13 pairs of jeans to be exact. Dark wash, light wash, skinnies, trousers, wide leg, bootcut. To the right hangs your shirts: long sleeve, short sleeve, camis, halters, all in every shade of the rainbow.

You put on some underwear and your sexy black going-out bra, pull out a pair of jeans and squeeze/lunge your booty into them. “No late night pizza,” you think to yourself as you suck in your belly to button them.

You pull a low-cut black shirt from the closet and put it on. You check yourself in the mirror. No good.

You grab a different shirt. Nope.

You pull a blue cami off the hanger and put it on. The bra doesn’t work with it, so you slip out of the cami, swap on a strapless bra and put it back on.  Now the jeans don’t work, so you kick them off and grab a lighter pair from the stack.

Blah. You hate the outfit. Maybe a dress will work.

You grab your new green dress from the closet and slip it on. You can see your underwear lines so you take them off and grab a thong. You like your reflection in the mirror – your boobs look good, the dress hides your post-midterms poundage and the color makes you look less pasty.

Only – crap – you don’t have any weather appropriate shoes to wear. At least not a pair that won’t kill your feet in an hour.

You take the dress off and throw it on the floor. “Leggings will work,” you think to yourself. You pull on a pair of black leggings and realize they are the ones with the whole in the butt. You kick them off and grab another pair. You rifle through your drawers throwing shirts on the floor as you attempt to find something long enough to pair with the pants.

Finally, standing in your room in a bra and a pair of leggings with all of your clothes piled around you on the floor you declare, “I have nothing to wear!” You pout, you throw things and you tell your roommates you aren’t going anywhere.

They come to your room – facing the same dilemma in their own closets – and sift through the wreckage.  Eventually, they will grab a few of your things to pair with their own jeans. “OMG, that looks so hot! That didn’t look that good on me!” You scream.

They bring you down a few tops of their own and you try them on. “That looks so good on you!” they exclaim. And soon everyone is dressed and happy. And an hour late for whatever it was you were getting dressed for in the first place.

—-

Yeah, we’ve all been in a full closet with nothing to wear. Isn’t that what having roommates is all about?

[There are over 100 million sites on the Internet. 100 million! You might think you know about all the important ones (CollegeCandy, Gmail, Google, TFLN…), but there are thousands of other sweet sites out there (like Unhear It, ReQall, and Regretsy) and more showing up every day! We get it – it’s not easy or fun sifting through the crap and porn to find those gems, so we’re gonna bring the gems to you. Just sit back, kick up those feet and allow us to introduce you to the diamonds in the internet rough.]

College football season is officially under way, and whether or not you actually know anything about the sport, the fact is watching the games and rooting for your school is part of the college experience and a great way to socialize. Plus, what else is there to do on a Saturday?

But what about you recent grads out there?  Unless you still live in your college town (jealous!), you probably won’t get a chance to go to any games.  You could always head to a sports bar to watch the game, but that could get really awkward and/or dangerous if you’re the only one in the bar rooting for your team. (Editor’s Note: True story – poured a beer on a rival’s head once…then was swiftly escorted out.)

Unless you know which bar to go to.

College Bar Finder will help you find a bar that’s friendly to your team in any city, regardless of how far away it is from your college town.

Simply choose your city from a drop-down menu and type in the name of your school in the search bar located on the top of the page, and voila, College Bar Finder will find any and all bars in the selected city that cater to your college team.

There are currently over 1,000 bars in College Bar Finder‘s database, and you can help add more by suggesting any bars you know about that are affiliated with a specific team.

Seriously, how awesome is this site? Now, fans everywhere can come together to root for their favorite team….over drinks….. no matter where they are!

And as a seasoned house partier, here are some tips to help you survive the first big house party of the year:

Do show up fashionably late.  Nothing in the college party scene starts before 10:30pm.  And nothing says freshman more than showing up at the party at 9pm eager for the festivities to start.  You are not in high school anymore!  So please, if you want to look like you know what’s going on, pre-drink in your room don’t show up until after 11pm.  Trust me, you won’t miss a thing. In fact, you’ll get there just as the party gets pumpin’.

Don’t wear heels! If you’re going to a house party, you will be way overdressed.  House parties attract all types of people and there will most likely be hundreds of them there.  Large amounts of grinding people means hot temperatures.  You will be sweating…profusely! So for those back-to-school bashes, leave your new skinny jeans at home and wear shorts, a cute flowy tank top or even a sundress, and sandals. You’ll thank me later, when the floor is filled with mud (or questionable bodily fluids) and your favorite suede pumps are ruined!

Do get your creative juices flowing. Theme parties are super popular in college.  Whether you’re attending a Toga party, ABC party, the Beer Olympics (the list goes on and on…), get creative with your costume.  I’ll guarantee you’ll be the talk of the night (and for the right reasons).   That’s not such a bad thing, eh?

Don’t bring a posse of boys.  It sounds shallow, but college dudes hate when a girl shows up with an entourage of men.  Here’s something lame, if you show up with a bunch of guys (and they didn’t bring their own alcohol) they may not let you in! This means no free drinks, and not even batting your full, voluminous lashes will get you out of that one.  Of course, your guy friends are welcome at the party, but be smart—walk into the party first.  A sure-fire-way of getting into the party is to show up with a bunch of your girlfriends. Nothing else will make those single college boys happier.

Do befriend the house owners.  You will get special treatment—the first to know about house parties, better booze, and – just in case – a special hideout place when the Po Po come to break up the party.  Take my word for it: just saying hi a couple times or striking up a conversation with the owners definitely pays off in the end!

Don’t be shy. House parties are only one part of the college party scene so don’t be scared to try all college party venues.  Hit up the bars on Thursday, brave the frat house on Friday, and shake your groove thang at the club on Saturday.  After a couple weekends, you’ll figure out what you like best and where you like to get your party on.

So it’s Friday. (Or Thursday, Saturday, or Tuesday morning….) You’ve got your favorite skinny jeans on, you stuffed your feet into a pair of  heels that start rubbing on your baby toes before you even leave the house, and you’re sipping on a little vodka/Crystal Light to get the night going. Once you’re feeling buzzed enough to handle the crowds at the campus bar, you throw that purse over your shoulder, loop arms with your besties and do a little run/walk into the night.

Only when you arrive, you realize pretty quickly that perhaps a few more drinks would have been a good idea before running into these annoying bar-goers.

10. Sloppy in Line:
We’ve all had that night. Whether it’s our 21st birthday or our “I just got dumped and need a night to get over it,” we’ve had the wasted-before-I-even-left-the-shower kind of an evening. But when I’m not having that night and someone else is tripping and falling into me, slurring his/her words and spewing chunks very close to my heels before we even get inside (true story), it’s not OK.

9. Martini Drinkers:
Repeat after me: there is no way to get this overpriced and probably watered-down martini from the bar to my table without spilling it everywhere. Even if I walk incredibly slowly and piss off everyone who is trying to get by me and to the bar.

8. Creepers:
I mean, do I really even need to say why?

7. Woo Hoo Girls:
(At least that’s what the How I Met Your Mother crew calls them.) These girls love to scream. When their boot of beer arrives, they scream. When their other Woo Hoo girl arrives, they scream. When Journey/Miley Cyrus comes on, they scream. When one of the Woo Hoo girls comes back from the bathroom with bloodshoot eyes and a little splash of puke on her cheek, they scream. And with each successive drink, the screams get louder and more shrill.

6. Bitter, Angry Bartenders:
All I’m asking you to do is crack open an Amstel Light and pass it over to me. What’s with the ‘tude?

5. Random Couple Trying to be Romantic:
Of all the quiet, coupley places you could go on campus to have a nice night, you chose this sweaty basement bar? Nevermind the fact that you can’t hear one another over the Usher songs blaring from the DJ booth, but there is nothing romantic about a bunch of really drunk, really sweaty kids grinding against the walls.

4. Bathroom Girls:
Hey you by the mirror – adding more powder isn’t going to make you look less shiny. Just thank god for the low lighting and get a move on. And you three in the handicap stall – can you stop crying about the boy that totally blew you off and let someone else use the toilet? And the rest of the girls in the world who just happen to take a long time to do their business, HURRY UP. I broke the seal/need to get back out there before ‘Like a Prayer’ comes on.

3. The Bar Loiterer
I know that at Cheers and The After Dark (behind the Peach Pit) people grab seats and order at the bar. But we’re in college, people, and there are hundreds of wanna-be-drunk patrons behind you trying to get their paws on a shark bowl. Can you be a doll, stop trying to look all sexy leaning up against the bar with that Miller Lite and walk. away? Kthanxbye.

2. The Big Dancer:
If you bump into me one more time, I swear to god…..

1. Ms. Perfect:
Seriously, how? How do you keep your hair straight, your makeup fresh and your pits dry while, by 1am, my sweaty hair is in a ponytail, my eyeliner is on a journey down my cheek and I have very obvious under-boob sweat stains on my cami? HOW?!

Giving up my nights out was not something I was especially prepared to do when I started scouring my college town for a job; who wants to be folding clothes amidst an asthma-inducing Abercrombie cologne cloud late into the evening when your girls are out at $1 pitcher night? Nobody.

That’s why I became a cocktail waitress.

Well, that and I heard Tiger Woods George Clooney was fond of them.

Naturally, I see a lot of…er… interesting, for lack of a better word, things during the late night shifts. Things that I know I’ve been guilty of doing, and that all you CC ladies are probably guilty of as well. Believe me, your signature twist+bend and snap combo dance moves do not look as sexy as you think, even if that drunk frat boy tells you they are. And as good as Journey is, “Don’t Stop Believing” is not “the best song of all effing time!!”

Because our thoughts tend to be a little muddled when we’re a few sheets to the stale bar air wind, I thought I’d help everyone see just what a typical drunken night is from a more honest (read: sober) perspective. So join me as we analyze things (hey, we’re all friends here!) from both sides of the crowded bar.

Your Point of View: It’s 11:00pm and you and your friends raced into the bar in 5 inch heels because it’s winter in the Midwest and coats are a pain in the buttcheeks to carry around. The warm air inside brings out a sigh of the relief.

My Point of View: GIRL you must be KIDDING. IT’S WINTER IN THE MIDWEST! Except I’ll tell you that I never wear coats out either and no, your nose isn’t running that bad! Oh, and that happy sigh you made when feeling came back to your fingers sounded more like a cross between the sound I make when I see spider (EEEE!) and when I see a hot Mexican with a beard (ughhh YES).

Your POV: Shots! Shots! Shots! Shotshotshots! I LOVE shots and I LOVE this song!

My POV: I would literally be a millionaire if I got a dollar every time someone ordered shots from me in that manner. A billionaire if I got an additional dollar every time people sang that just to get my attention and then order something completely different.

Your POV: Cutie alert at  ‘clock! Take a quick selfie to see if you’re still looking as hot as you were when you left.

My POV: Much like how a car loses value when you drive it off the lot, all of the effort you put into looking good starts to depreciate when you walk in the bar. There’s no way around it. It’s going to be hot, you’re going to sweat, your perfect hair poof is going to fall flat (unless you’re Snooki, of course), and drinks are going to fall on you. Let’s just all take a second and give thanks to the very forgiving bar lighting.

Your POV: Yes, 4 0′clock cutie noticed you. He walks over, says he remembers you from class, and buys you a drink. Things are going great, so great that you invite him on the dance floor. And if his moves are good (and he buys you a few more rum and diets), maybe you’ll invite him back to your apartment.

My POV: First off, he does not remember you from class. He just chose a random gen ed, like Elementary Psych, because it has 500+ people in the lecture and there was a good chance you took it too. Second, his moves are def not good, but in the back of your head you knew it didn’t matter anyway. Third, men aren’t always good to you, but burritos always are. If he won’t offer to pay for your drunchies after all those drinks he handed out, don’t take him anywhere near your abode.

Your POV: Bartender yells “Last call!” and you get a huge group hug going to tell your girls how much you love them and how you all need to get together again next weekend. You talk afties and Pokey Stix when suddenly all of the lights go on. And suddenly 4 0′clock cutie isn’t looking too good.

My POV: This is by far the best part of my night. Since drink orders are done, it’s my chance to sit back, relax, take a shot with the bartender, and admire all that is going on around me. The look of horror that come over faces as soon as the lights turn on is priceless; just when you thought you were surrounded by hotties in a hip night club, you realize that theses “hotties” are covered in pit stains and your fake tan is running down your face. And that “hip night club” is just a dirty, windowless basement. With dirty bathroom water on the floor.

What a great way to end the night. Now it’s time for me to head home and enjoy my Jimmy Johns #12 with Say Yes to the Dress on DVR.

[This post was originally written by Kelly - University of Iowa.]

There comes a time in every young woman’s life when she looks at her roommate laying on the bathroom floor at the bar and says to herself “it’s time to take her to the hospital home.” Of course there were signs all night that it wasn’t going to end well. Such as when she went outside to boot and rally. Or when she wrestled some stranger’s phone out of his hands (she dropped hers into a pitcher of beer) so she can call her high school ex. And of course there was that moment when she was standing on top of a wobbly table singing some song that sounds like a mix between Journey and Piano Man.

Does none of this sound familiar to a night at your school? Well just check out the photos below and try to remember that if you ever see anything like that in real life, it’s time to take your friend home…and put a garbage can next to her bed.

[Click on the photos for even MORE drunkeness]

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2010/07/08/88-signs-its-time-to-leave-the-bar/feed/ 19 ccandystaff 88-signs Drunken-Girl-Shamings-7 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-2 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-7-123 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-4-90 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-5-101 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-6-112 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-8-134 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-3 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-9-145 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-10-2 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-12-24 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-16-64 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-5 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-8 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-4 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-6 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-25-74 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-24-73 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-27-76 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-28-77 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-10 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-11 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-9 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-12 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-29-78 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-30-80 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-31-81 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-32-82 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-49-100 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-50-102 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-54-106 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-68-121 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-18 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-21 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-20 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-64-117 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-22 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-23 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-24 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-25 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-27 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-26 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-28 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-29 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-97-153 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-98-154 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-99-155 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-100-3 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-95-151 Drunken-Girl-Shamings-32 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-87-142 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-103-6 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-113-17 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-114-18 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-115-19 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-116-20 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-117-21 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-118-22 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-105-8 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-149-56 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-121-26 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-122-27 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-123-28 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-124-29 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-125-30 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-126-31 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-127-32 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-128-33 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-129-34 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-130-36 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-131-37 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-132-38 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-133-39 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-134-40 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-135-41 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-136-42 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-137-43 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-138-44 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-139-45 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-140-47 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-141-48 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-142-49 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-143-50 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-144-51 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-145-52 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-146-53 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-147-54 Passed-Out-Drunk-Girl-148-55 http://collegecandy.com/2010/06/27/the-morning-after-really-public-displays-of-affection/ http://collegecandy.com/2010/06/27/the-morning-after-really-public-displays-of-affection/#comments Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:00:32 +0000 Anonymous http://collegecandy.com/?p=65036 ]]>

[Everyone’s got a morning after story (though I can say with absolute certainty that not everyone's includes a private plane and handcuffs) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

Last weekend I went to my friend’s birthday at one of those exclusive NYC clubs where you can’t get in if you’re not on a list. My friends and I got decked out for a big night on the town, which meant I put on a really short dress, slipped on my big practically-unwalkable heels, and shaved my legs. At first everything at the club was really fun and really trendy and really vodka-y. I was dancing on the tables and shamelessly hitting on guys. But that’s what happens when you’re drinking for free.

You know what also happens when you’re drinking for free? People lose their inhibitions as well as their dignity. One couple went from grinding on the dancing floor to humping on a booth. And while they were humping another couple edged into our corner and started getting busy. It didn’t take long before both girls were straddling the guys with their dresses pulled up and their underwear pushed down. While I can’t say that I saw actual intercourse (hard to see things when you’re shielding your eyes), I did see fingers going places fingers do not belong when those fingers are in public. One of the tables began shaking so hard that a waiter came over.  However I wrongly assumed that the waiter would stop the couple. Instead he just removed the glasses off the table so that there would be not broken glass when they started going at it on the floor. It’s at this point I started asking myself what was going on and what was I doing there.

And then one girl took a break (most likely to get tested for STDs) and her new lover took this as a chance to pick me up in both of his arms and say excitedly, “your turn.” Suddenly this went to bizarre and funny to Lifetime Movie of the Month. When I made it clear I would not be hooking up with him, he flipped me upside down, which made my dress flip upside down too. Attractive AND classy!

At that point, when I was mooning the entire club and wondering how I ended up in some fetish swingers sexy club, he put me down. I took one look at my friends and we ran out of there. In the cab ride home there were a lot of “what the?” but no actual coherent sentences. It wasn’t until I was back in my apartment, comfortably sitting in sweats, with my chastity belt on and locked that I could actualy talk about what just happened. Needless to say I can check “watching live porn” off my bucket list.