There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

It’s hard to be sure of what to eat these days.  Health reports come out with a study against a certain food one day and for it the next.  Do I eat the egg yolk or do I stick with the whites?  Are pomegranates that good for me?  How many more vitamins do I really need to take?  It’s confusing.  And I don’t like being confused about food.  I just like eating it.

Everyone’s heard the old adage, “Everything in moderation.”  Sounds pretty obvious, right?  You can eat your egg yolk (as long as you don’t eat five eggs a day) and not feel guilty.  Even dessert isn’t off limits if you don’t gorge yourself.  So this is why I’m going to give a shout out to something that has gotten a lot of bad press lately: meat.  It seem everyone is jumping on the vegetarian wagon, what with all the new vegetarian options out there.  Hey, I don’t have anything against tofu (I actually love tofu, but that’s a different story), but I have to defend my meat.  It’s delicious, packed with nutrition, and can be used in a million different ways.  Here’s why you should eat more meat:

Stronger Muscles – Meat has mad amounts of protein.  The health benefits are endless and as college women we suffer from some of the lowest protein levels of any age group (I blame cafeteria food).  Have a steak, gobble a burger, or grab a pork chop to pump up your protein levels.  There’s a reason they make protein powder: it helps build up your muscles and makes your workouts more effective.  If that means I’m going to get more benefit from the same amount of work (true story), then I now have a reason to drag my butt from the couch and go to the gym. With a steak.

Guy Cred – Meat has long been considered a man’s domain.  Men are in charge of the grill, they are the ones who traditionally hunt game animals, and they tend to be masters of meat preparation.  If you practice a bit or even take a barbecue class (they have those), you will get major respect when you step up to the plate and pull off a perfect medium rare steak (instead of a charred hunk of flesh).  You’ll probably get a Woman Of The Year award or something from Spike TV.

Shiny Hair – Want hair like you see in the shampoo commercials?  Then save your money on expensive product and head over to your local butcher instead.  Meat, particularly red meat and fish, can make your hair look all shiny and amazing like you’re an Herbal Essences model.  This is because of the high levels of iron and protein in these foods (and the fat content, which can be beneficial).  So, not only will your hair benefit, but your nails and skin will look amazing as well.  Done deal.

Piss Off Some Vegetarians – Sure, it may be petty and wrong and you might not even know any vegetarians, but some of them deserve to be antagonized.  Whether their patched-up, baggy corduroys piss you off or their unidentifiable, stinky vegan mash makes you sick, there’s a sure-fire way to get back at those annoying plant eaters:  eat meat.  This is what portable meat was made for, people!  Hot dogs, hamburgers, corn dogs, shish kabobs, and anything else that you can eat on a stick or with your hands.  Sweet, delicious revenge.

More Bang For Your Buck – Okay, so meat isn’t cheap.  However, it does have a ton of nutrition.  So if you were to try and get the same amount of nutritional value from veggies, you’d end up paying more for the massive amounts of greens you’d need in comparison to the small amount of meat that does the same thing.  See the value?  And I’d much rather have a turkey burger than five pounds of salad.  Just saying.

Look Classy – Nothing says “I’m a classy lady” better than a filet mignon.  Or a rack of lamb.  Extra points if you can actually cook these things (and cook them well…).  Think about it: every movie that includes a romantic dinner or a expression of extreme wealth has meat.  Steak Oscar, and coffee-rubbed hunks of beef (okay, now I’m hungry) are all a great way to say, “I’m classy and enjoy great food.”  Trust me, you’re not gonna see any tofu casserole on the menu of the restaurant on the top of the Eiffle Tower.

Ugh...

This summer is my last summer at home. While most of you can relate when I say that I’m ecstatic (believe me, I am), it may not be for the reason everyone expects. Read: living with the parents breathing down my neck.

You see, when I go home, I gain weight. Not just 3 or 4 pounds, but this summer I put on 10. freakin. pounds. Yes, I know this is my own fault, so don’t get on my case for knowing better, but I know I’m not alone. There is something about the summer that just means extra poundage. So how about we take a closer look at what goes on during the summer months so we can stop the madness?!?!

1) The campus gym is no longer 5 min away - Ok, this one hit me pretty hard. I love having a free gym at my disposal! No way am I going to pay buckets of money to use an elliptical in my hometown.

2) When it’s fifty million degrees outside, you want to stay in – I’m one of those people that no matter how far away my class is, I’d rather walk than take the campus shuttle. Well, with no class to go to, I have nowhere to walk. Also, I live in west Texas where it’s been over 100 degrees every day for the past month. Going on a walk for exercise is out of the question; I don’t want to burst into flames!

3) Parent’s kitchen = food anytime - When I’m at school, I’m on a strict budget, so I only eat when I need to. At home, I eat all the time because I’m no longer the one footing the food bill. I now eat when I’m bored (which is all the time since I couldn’t find a job this summer), when I’m sad (which is always since I am away from my friends), and when I’m awake (which is a lot since my parents wake up early and scream to each other across the house). Let’s leave the grazing for livestock, OK?

4) No friends to keep me in check – My friends on campus and I have sort of a check and balance system going on. We go to the gym together, we eat together, etc. If we see one of our friends doing something unhealthy, one of us will chime in and say something. We’re also motivation for each other; we constantly push each other for 5 more minutes on the stair stepper, or we have a salad night for dinner. With them gone, I’m on my own, and my own wants cupcakes. And it just so happens that my mom just baked 3 dozen of ‘em.

5) Outdoor BBQs: Everyone has them in the summer and, being that I will take any opportunity to hang out with people under the age of 45, I go to them. A lot. And I eat lots of delicious dips and chips and margaritas. And none of those things are low in calories.

With all of these changes from campus life, there’s only so much weight I can keep off with my mom’s Wii Fit. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t gain more, but I’m sure there is some more coming in the next 3 weeks before I head back to campus. I just hope I can still squeeze into my jeans for Welcome Week.

So tell me, how is home life different for your body?

Ahhh, Fourth of July.

It’s not a holiday that carries the burden of gift exchange, and you don’t feel guilty if you don’t spend it with your family. Is that why it’s one of the best days to celebrate? People make plans for the Fourth months in advance, which is more than we can say for St. Patrick’s day, its celebratory-drunkfest cousin. So what is it that makes Independence Day so special? I mean… other than the fact that we have freedom of speech and right to assemble and such.

1. Fireworks.

They appeal to everyone. The rebels can light stuff on fire and blow things up. The artists can appreciate the colorful patterns of light against a midnight sky. And the lovers can tell themselves it’s okay if they just did it in a park on a blanket. Fireworks and Fourth of July are like Mistletoe and Christmas. They just aren’t as cool if you pick the wrong day.

2. Hot Dogs.

Am I the only one that kind of thinks Joey Chestnut is hot? Or the only person who has the SNL Saturday TV Funhouse featuring Takero Kobayashi bookmarked? Seriously, my inner fat kid can live vicariously through these competitive eaters. It’s like rubbernecking a bad car crash — you can’t help but cheer when 90-something-pound Sonja Thomas proceeds to chomp 8 hot dogs in about 15 seconds. Sonja, your metabolism is the kind of freedom every girl wishes for this Fourth of July.

3. Bank Holidays.

This year, the 4th occurs on a Saturday. My office is having a half day on the 2nd, and a full day off on the third. That’s a 3 1/2 day weekend, all because we gained our independence from the Brits a couple hundred years ago. Score! Many of us that do have to work can rest assured that we’re getting time and a half, and a lot of places have extended their patriotic holiday to include closings on Monday the 6th. Awesome!

4. Bikinis.

Really, the 4th is the only summer holiday. Sure, if you live some place with consistent warm weather, like California, Florida, or Hawaii, you can have pool parties and cookouts whenever you like. But even if it is nice weather year-round, can you really justify a bathing suit at Christmas dinner? Whether you’re having a party or a family get-together on the fourth, you can express your independence in a string bikini and get away with it this weekend

5. Colored booze.

For St. Pat’s, they dye the beer green. BFD. For the fourth, you have a plethora of options, especially since there are THREE patriotic colors. From red strawberry daiquiris to blue Electric Iced Teas, you can mask your social drinking problem and look festive all at once! A lot of barbecues will be supplying cherry and blueberry Jell-O shots for the occasion, or just swing back a PBR and boast that you’re a true, red-blooded American.

If these aren’t enough reason to love the fourth, then I suggest you flip on TBS — hello, Independence Day is bound to be playing on repeat. Not only can you get your daily dose of Will Smith, but you can repeat the line “Welcome to Earf” until it’s just not funny anymore.

What type of independence are you celebrating this year?

After about a minute of feeling guilty about almost forgetting our Nation’s birthday, I started to remember why I adore the 4th of July so much.  I get to spend time with my family, spend all weekend drunk and in the sun, and eat massive amounts of food.

This year, however, I decided I wasn’t going to puss out after just three servings of barbecue.  So, I did a little research and gathered some tips from the masters (read: the competitors in the yearly Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest!).  Now you guys can join me in celebrating the founding of America the only way that is appropriate – by eating more than anyone else on the planet.

Don’t Starve Yourself Beforehand – When you starve yourself, you’re actually making your stomach shrink (in addition to being a pretty bad move in general).  Keep eating before the big day and you’ll  keep your appetite up.  Besides, who wants to rock that crazed, hungry person look during the family picnic?

Prepare Your Stomach - Assuming that you aren’t Takeru Kobayashi, you probably don’t eat like a maniac on a normal basis.  Therefore, you might have to stretch your stomach out to make room for all those amazing Independence Day meals (ribs? burgers? corn on the cob? Droooool).  Use this week to chug water and chomp on mad lettuce – you’ll expand your stomach in no time (thirds, much?).

Strategize – There are a million different delicious dishes (or calories) to be had at a Fourth of July barbecue (okay, maybe not a million, but close), so you might wanna take a second and think about what you really want to be filling your stomach up with.  Do you want the meat sweats or the ice-cream coma?  Pick your favorites and stick with them.

Do The Wiggle – It sounds crazy, but if you take a dance break (as in, wiggle your hips from side-to-side for 10-15 seconds and throw in a couple jumps here and there…that counts as dancing, right?), your food will pass through your esophagus faster and get all mashed up in your stomach.  More room for cake!

Exercise – Aside from being a generally good idea, working up a sweat will mentally and physically prepare you for  your day of eating.  Don’t overdo it – just some light cardio will get your appetite ready and raring to go.

Don’t Fill Up On Liquids – Although there’s nothing quite like a frosty Coke on a boiling hot day, stay away from carbonated and sugary drinks.  They’ll fill you up and take away valuable space that you can use for a hot dog (or four).  Stick with water to lubricate your digestive system (and to soften up those buns before you shove them down your throat).  Small sips while you chow down should do it – save the chugging for the beers by the campfire later.

Keep It Fun – Make your Independence Day feast into a competition a la Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.  Challenge your brothers, sisters, cousins, and/or crazy aunts and uncles to try and take the title from you.  Nothing says family like competitions and eating. And reversals of fortune.

Accessorize – Nothing says massive amounts of eating like an awesome sweatband and stretchy pants.  Thank goodness fashion is at a point where flowy, maternity-like tops and leggings are fashionable enough to wear at social outings.  That way, no one will be able to tell the difference between your aunt’s real baby and your food baby.

You are only a few hours away from a three day holiday weekend, ladies! Can I get a “what what”?! Memorial Day Weekend is the official kick-off to summer, which means only one thing: it’s time to get a bikini wax the inevitable family BBQ.

Truth: You love hot dogs off the grill
Truth: Your family is ridiculous and you’d much rather spend the time with people who don’t make inappropriate jokes about hot dogs. Or at least people who make funny inappropriate jokes about hot dogs. And are under the age of 65.
Solution: CollegeCandy’s Memorial Day Family BBQ Drinking Game

Because Great Uncle Bert’s war stories (a war which he was not in) are easier to listen to when you’ve got Bud Light coursing through your veins. The best part? You can play alone and, being that you leave the BBQ with a killer buzz, you always end up the winner.

What you will need:
A case of domestic beer (we’re celebrating America, aren’t we?)
Various other alcoholic beverages
Your drinking hat

Let’s Play:
- Chug your first beer if you are the only single person there (over the age of 16)/chug your first beer if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but they are playing this game at their own family BBQ

- Take a shot every time someone asks you if you are dating someone.

- Take another if they don’t at least feign surprise when you say you are not.

- Take a double shot every time someone asks what you’re studying and/or what you plan to do now that you’ve graduated.

- Mix and drink a screwdriver every time your mother nags about your lack of job or job prospects (“What are you going to do with a Communications degree!?”). You’re screwed in this market, anyway.

- Take a Kamikaze shot every time grandpa mentions his time in WW2.

- Pour one for our fallen heroes if anyone even mentions the real purpose of Memorial Day.

- Bring out the beer bong if someone starts talking about ‘Ole Dubya (George W. Bush).

- Take a drink every time someone says something that could be taken sexually and someone immature (i.e. you) giggles/responds with “that’s what she said.”

- Have a shot of whiskey every time your father/uncle/grandfather/brother almost burns off their eyebrows or arm hair with the grill.

- Take a sip every time your father/uncle/grandfather/brother talks about how he is the master of the grill and no one can grill up meat like him.

- Assign three drinks to anyone who says they are on a diet and only want salad.

- Put down your drink and start crying if someone comments on how much you are eating/how you should be on a diet.

- Polish off whatever is open and not finished if grandma/some other woman in your family leaves a big, wet lipstick print on your cheek when she says goodbye.

By the end of the night, your family should be bearable and your legs should feel like Jell-0. A Memorial Day BBQ victory!

[Photo courtesy of jfizz 79 on Flickr. Thanks!]

You’ve finally moved out of the dorms, and it just so happens that your new diggs are the perfect place to throw a party. No RA’s, no quiet hours, no cramming 50 people into your tiny dorm and trying to have a dance party. Sweet!

Throwing a party might seem like a no-brainer. Still, you have make sure all of your bases are covered, or you’ll find people trickling out before midnight, hoping to catch another bigger, better party before the sun comes up and the night is a complete bust.

If you want to throw the party of the year–the one people are still talking about at graduation, the one people are still talking about at the reunion–just take heed of these simple cardinal rules.

1. Spread the Word Like Wildfire.

Don’t just mention it to your lab partner. Don’t put up an away message saying “Party tonight! Come on over!” There’s plenty of parties to choose from on campus, so you want yours to be the one everyone’s talking about.

Create a Facebook event. Make fliers and wallpaper your apartment complex. Interrupt your Criminology lecture by screaming, “Let’s F–KING RAGE!” Okay, that one might be going to far, but figure out what methods of advertising will work best for you, and do ‘em twice.

2. Find a Gimmick.

Like I said, there’s probably a lot of options on campus on a Saturday night, whether it’s another party or a great bar special. A gimmick will not only attract partygoers, but it will help them remember your party. The “gimmick” can be anything from a crazy theme party to a simple keg party (seriously, throw the word “keg” in there, and people will flock, arms outstretched and tongues hanging out, like a scene from Night of the Living Dead). Toga parties, Pimps and Hoes parties, and Graffiti parties all sound more interesting than “Party in 5C – BYOB.” Am I right?

You can also think of random things to celebrate to get people talking. It’s also a good way to guilt trip guests into “stopping by,” at which point, they will see how much fun your party is and immediately blow off whatever party they were en route to in the first place. Twenty-first birthdays are a classic example. Everyone has to stop by to wish you well. My twenty-first was so successful that I’ve had one every year since, and the “2nd Annual 21st Birthday Bash” and “3rd Annual 21st Birthday Bash” were also smashing.

3. “Entertainment” Does Not Mean Your IPod on a Speaker.

Music is essential, but there’s more to a party than your Flo Rida megamix blaring for six hours straight. Setting up different “activities” will keep people interested, and make more people float through the party, and mingle, and… oh yeah, drink more. Set up beer pong in the backyard and flip cup in your kitchen. Spring for an ice luge so your guests don’t get bored waiting for their turn at beer pong. Announce a shotgun contest, a kegstand contest, or some other ridiculous competition just after you’ve hit full capacity and the buzz starts to creep in.

It’s also a good idea to have a low-key game going on when the party starts to alleviate any awkward “I’m-the-first-person-here-and-this-isn’t-really-a-party” vibes when the very first partiers trickle in to an empty house. I suggest a card game like Kings. Everyone can play, everyone drinks a lot, and by the time you’ve all done your second or third waterfall, you’ll slam your cups on the table and look up to see that somehow a few dozen bodies have appeared in your living room, and the party is officially ON.

4. Don’t Spend All of Your Efforts on Booze.

Yes, people will be coming to your party to drink. But just because you’ve stocked your liquor cabinet doesn’t mean your work is done. When people drink, they get hungry. So plan on supplying some food. If it’s an all-day party, have a barbecue or order some sandwich platters. If it’s a typical Saturday Night banger, stock up on carbs and starches in the form of potato chips, tortilla chips, and pretzels. Ordering a couple of sheet pizzas or a few dozen wings will never be unappreciated. If you are providing liquor, grab some mixers. Even if you aren’t providing liquor, it’s nice to have juice or soda on hand for your guests.

While you’re stocking up on munchies, run through the paper goods aisle of the grocery store, and buy a surplus of solo cups, paper towels, garbage bags, and toilet paper. Who knows how many people will run through your bathroom throughout the course of the evening, and you definitely don’t want drunk people using your bath towels when they can’t find toilet paper. Likewise, you want paper towels on hand for spilled beer, whether you soak it up during the party or the next morning.

If you are particularly meticulous, you might make sure that your medicine cabinet is stocked with bandages, in case of drunken injuries, or even rubber gloves, in case of vomit.

5. When You Think You Have Enough Booze, Buy More.

The cardinal rule of throwing a party is always overestimate when it comes to alcohol. When the well runs dry, the party’s over. If you are throwing a keg party, consider the beer measurements:

A “keg” is actually a half-barrel, and holds 15.5 gallons of beer. A quarter-barrel (usually referred to as a half-keg) is less than three 30-racks of beer. So, if you have one half-barrel at your party, you’ll get about 124 US pints, or 16 oz. beers, out of it. That will feed about 20 people 6 beers each.

While it’s not necessarily your responsibility to provide all of the alcohol for all of your guests, you may also want to consider picking up some liquor for the non-beer drinkers, or just to shake things up a bit once the party starts raging. Pizza is a win-win in the food category, and jungle juice will never do you wrong when it comes to stocking up on liquor.

Depending on how much alcohol you want to provide personally, you can always charge for cups, or ask for donations to help fund the shindig. But, even if you’re weary about splurging on a few kegs, or making your own mini-bar, just remember: if anything’s leftover, you can always drink it later.

Now don’t get ahead of yourself. Fruit salad is not for the faint of heart. It can be time-consuming and expensive if you don’t plan it out just right. Here are a few tips for making this healthy, fun summer treat.

1. Use fresh fruit. This should go without saying but I’m saying it anyway. Frozen fruit is for smoothies, margaritas and ice packs..not salad.

2. Search for bargains. To make a good salad you could be buying 8-10 types of fresh fruit. The price tag can get pretty high if you don’t shop around. Try to buy at least half of your fruit on sale. This isn’t tough to do in the summer with so much fresh stuff in season. Because you’ll be cutting and chopping you can also take “scratch and dent” fruit (the stuff with small bruises).

3. Watch out for ripeness. While you can get fruit that’s a little bruised, you shouldn’t buy fruit that’s too ripe. It’s soft, mealy and generally difficult to slice. Purchase your pieces before their peak of ripeness to avoid this. The fruit will soften up in the bowl.

So how do you get started? The trick to fruit salad is balancing flavor, color, shapes and textures. Experiment with different types of fruit and decide what works best for you. As far as chopping goes, keep your pieces bite size (nothing ruins a picnic like someone choking on your side dish) and try to slice each fruit differently. It gives your salad a little personality.

Let’s talk fruit Here’s what I use in a typical fruit salad. This recipe makes enough salad to feed a small crowd, approximately 10-15 people.

Two plastic cartons of Strawberries

2 bunches (About half the bag they sell at the grocery store) of Green Grapes

2 bunches of Red Grapes

1 peeled and cored Pineapple

3-5 Kiwis

3-5 Plums

4-6 Nectarines

1/4 of a Watermelon

3/4 – 1 Pint of Blueberries

Wash, peel and slice the strawberries, pineapple, kiwi, plum, nectarines, and watermelon. Clean the grapes and blueberries and set them aside. Keep the fruit separated until it is all prepared so you can pour it into your serving bowl evenly, keeping the mixture proportional. Shortly before you’re ready to serve mix-in the blueberries. Blueberries tend to get soft and mushy if you mix them in too soon. The color and texture are perfect if you don’t let them get soggy.

For a nice touch I like to stir in a few tablespoons of fruit punch to my completed salads. Because I buy some of my fruit before it’s ripe, the punch adds a little sweetness without masking any of the flavors. It’s subtle but it gives the salad that extra something. Orange juice also works.

Do you have a tried and true fruit salad recipe? Any fruits I should add to shake-up my next picnic?

[Photo: CulinaryDelightCatering.Com]

At least there will still be some classics in the way of burgers, hot dogs, and chicken. But the rule of being a dinner party or barbecue guest is you can’t show up empty handed. While ordinarily I prefer to contribute something of the beverage variety, or pre-washed-and-cut fruit from the nearest grocery store, I’ve decided it’s time to man up and cook something. I don’t want to be shown up by a bunch of boys, even though without question they can cook better than me.

Barbecue essentials that the boys will be providing consist of meat. I don’t cook meat, so I’m opting to make cole slaw.

You need:

1 small bag pre-chopped cabbage/cole slaw mix

Sprinkling of celery seed for garnish/flavor

Red grapes (as many/few as you like)

Dressing:

1 half cup low-fat Miracle Whip

1 capful apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon sugar

Mix your vinegar, Miracle Whip, and sugar first in a large bowl, then add as much of the cole slaw mix as you intend to make. Add mix/your dressing as needed to get the right amount of moisture in there. If you’re making the entire bag, you’ll definitely need to add more dressing. Stir together, sprinkle with celery seed and add grapes for garnish and a little fruity goodness.

Voila, you’ve got cole slaw to write home about and it’s not horrendously fattening either.

This recipe is all approximated, by the way, because it’s one of those in-the-family, we-don’t-believe-in-measuring situations. You’ve got to stop and taste to make sure it meets your standards before sending it off to the masses.

From the first time that I saw you, I knew I had to have you. It was a cold afternoon in winter when my roommate came in from a shopping trip downtown and announced that she had found a new favorite dress. She went into her bedroom, and emerged shortly thereafter wearing beautiful, classic you. I remember how lovely you looked, so artfully simple with your long cylindrical shape and your sexy little ruched detailing, drawing attention to the tatas. I remember us discussing your versatility, how you so easily went from below the knee to just under the ladyparts with just a bit of bunching. I remember admiring the way you wrapped yourself around my roommate’s body so tightly in your spandexy embrace. It was amour at first sight.

Months went by, but I still didn’t make my move. Then, last weekend, the weather became warm and balmy and my roommates and I decided to have some friends over for a barbecue. Instantly I had a vision of you and I, lounging together in the sun, enjoying a margarita. I knew it was time.

The day of the barbecue, I went on a mission to find you. You turned up on 3rd Avenue, hiding shyly in the back corner on the wall. With trembling hands, I reached up and plucked you from the rail. I marveled at your simplicity, your lightness. Together, we entered the dressing room, and after a brief congress, proceeded to the checkout line.

Since that day, we’ve been inseparable. Every morning, as soon as I wake up, I just want to put you on. You’re so easy to wear and comfortable, and yet, so outrageously sexy. Every time we go out together, strangers on the street stop to tell us how good we look. And no matter what I pair you with – heels, a belt, sneakers, a pearl necklace, silver fringe earrings, a hoodie – you always roll with it. Glorious isn’t a strong enough word to describe your perfection.

American Apparel Cotton Spandex Jersey Strapless Ruched Dress, I just wanted to tell you you’re unlike any other dress I’ve ever had, and you’re worth every penny of the $36 plus tax I spent on you. I will eat salads every day for the rest of my life and hand-wash you in cold water because I want to be with you forever and ever until the end of time.

With love from the bottom of my heart,

Lyndsey

P.S. Ladies, buy this frickin’ dress.