Did you know that this Barenaked Ladies song talks about exactly what is happening on The Bachelorette??

It’s about that time again, ladies.  No, Lindsay Lohan isn’t back to hitting the bottle, it’s Monday night and that means roses, champagne, and a new episode of The Bachelorette!  Like a devoted fan, I cleared my evening schedule and prepared for two hours of wishing Ali would just offer her final rose to Chris Harrison (sheesh!).  Of course my dream of dreams didn’t come true, but at least my current favorite bachelor made the cut and will be visiting my living room again next week.  More on him in a bit, but first let’s slice and dice the opposition (though, granted, you may enjoy some of these fellas…if that’s the case, you have permission to shake your finger in my face via the comments at the end).

The first one-on-one date went to Roberto.  We learned that he speaks a lot of sexy languages, isn’t afraid of heights, and is considered by Ali to basically be the hottest guy there.  The date seemed to be perfection until one single event completely caused Señor to fall out of my good graces.  What horrendous, unforgivable crime did this tanned hunk commit?  Simply put, he called her cute.  That is beyond a red flag in my book.  Forgive me while I quote Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham, but I feel no one can better explain my admittedly twisted logic: “Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!”  While some women aim for the stars, apparently Ali has no problem with being plain ol’ cute because she never once budged from Roberto’s strong arms.  Hook, line, and sinker – she was ga ga the whole date. Read More »

I reuse Ziploc bags, I pay for my coffee with pennies, and all my jeans have holes in the crotch. I don’t pay for anything that I don’t desperately need. So even though I’ve been asked for my business card several times, I never shelled out the money to get them made. I will regret that decision for the rest of my life.

Last week CollegeCandy got invited to a Barenaked Ladies listening party and I gladly accepted the invite. I haven’t listened to new music since 1999 so they really hit the spot for me. I didn’t really know what a listening party entailed, but it sounded a lot more fun than sitting around watching Nanny reruns and eating a bag of chocolate chips. Read More »

This week is all about the boys. Cute ones at that. Between Jason Isbell, M. Ward, and Sam Roberts, you’ll forget all about last week’s Valentine’s Day and find yourself falling in love all over again. Even if you have a man, come on; can he sing like any of these guys? No matter what, you’re not going to be able to keep from swooning. Read More »

In the late eighties, Barenaked Ladies frontman Steven Page promised (in song no less) that he’d buy me and every other lady ever lots of frivolous and unnecessary items like a llama, Art Garfunkel and a monkey.

Looks like he forgot all about the little ditty that made his band famous and spent the money buying a ton of cocaine and marijuana. Page was arrested in New York last week for possession of a controlled substance.

The best part? When the cops showed up, Page and his female friend tried to hide the mound of coke under a napkin. I can’t believe that didn’t work! That’s how I hid a quarter pound of parmesan cheese when I spilled it at Pizza Hut 10-years ago. I guess the Syracuse PD are a little more thorough than the hapless staff at my local “Italian bistro.”

The news of this arrest is disappointing but not exactly surprising. Despite putting out a very good last effort and a popular kids album, Barenaked Ladies have been trying to run away from irrelevancy since “Pinch Me.” It looks like it finally caught up to them. Read More »