With a month off between fall and spring semesters and neurotic parents that drive you absolutely crazy after three months of freedom in the dorms, many students opt to take a winter break vacay. Whether it’s a road trip to the closest city, or a flight to the tropics, finding romance is a great way to de-stress after finals (and Christmas dinner with the entire extended fam). Looking for a super New Year’s Kiss? Here are some tips to get your blood rushing, even in freezing temps.

The most important rule for finding a fling is to open yourself up to opportunity. Hell, even if you’re stuck in your hometown, you never know if you’ll hit it off with a former high school classmate who grew up (in more ways than one) while away at school. If you are traveling, be outgoing! Talk to the bartenders, the hotel staff, everyone. They can probably give you advice on the hottest hangouts for the locals, and perhaps even introduce you to some of their fine friends. Besides, if things go sour, you can always jet back to school and pretend it never happened.

That said, be spontaneous. What happens in Vegas…. right? If a cute guy compliments you on the street, it’s okay to talk to him. Just be sure you have a friend or authority figure in sight. You can even agree to meet up later, provided it’s in a crowded, well-lit venue. Yes, there are sketchy peeps out there, but there are also plenty of friends you haven’t met yet. Trust your gut, and give it a chance…again, in a crowded, well-lit venue. Read More »

Alright people, let’s get two things straight. 1) I love (loooove) drinking and 2) I am pretty damn serious about my GPA. A paradox, I know, but one that has contributed greatly to my collegiate success (both in and out of the bars). Unfortunately these two qualities clash in a major way when my morning lectures (ok and sometimes afternoon classes if I’ve been hitting the Franz a little too hard) and hangovers coincide.

Naturally, my first reaction is to stumble out of bed, put on the first item of clothing that most nearly resembles sweatpants and yank a gym shirt over my head as I groan “ughhhhh” on the way out the door.

Sadly, professors and attractive classmates do not take kindly to my arrival in class looking like Britney circa February 2008–and chances are yours don’t either. So instead of being shunned for your dedication to class attendance (I mean, you’re making the effort right?!) I’ve thrown together a handy list of fashion saviors for even the most hungover of mornings.

You’ll look as put together as one possibly can after a night of hollering 80′s classics and harassing the bartender, and no one will be the wiser (except for the person sitting next to you enjoying your Eau de Skol…) Read More »

You know how it feels really sexy and naughty when you sidle up to a cute bartender and order a Sex on the Beach?

Well, it does.

It feels sexy and naughty.

Anyway, you can recreate that feeling when you throw your own sexy party and act as bartender.

Here are a few sexy-sounding drinks to serve to your hottie brigade of guests. Make sure to giggle annoyingly when they order.

Orgasm

1/2 ounce Vodka

1/2 ounce Amaretto

1/2 ounce White Creme de Cacao

1/2 ounce Triple Sec

1 ounce cream

Shake with ice and enjoy.

Tap That Ass

2 ounces Alizé (1 ounce red, 1 ounce yellow)

1 ounce Hennessy

a little cranberry juice

a little soda water

Pour the Alizé and Hennessy over ice. Top it off with the cranberry juice and soda water to taste. Read More »

Dear Friends/Family/That Random Taxi Driver That Picked Me Up and Took Me Home After Finding Me Face First On The Sidewalk,

Sometimes I like to drink. A lot. And on those occasions I may or may not (okay, always) do stupid things. It is not me, you see; it is the alcohol. In fact, it is not until the morning after when I am chugging Gatorade and trying to get my bed to stop spinning that I even realize exactly what went down. And I feel bad – really, I do. So, I want to take this opportunity to apologize for it all.

To The Bartender: I am sorry that I hopped over the bar and drank beer directly from the tap. And attempted to spray my friends with Tonic Water. And knocked over that giant stack of glasses….

To My Best Friend: I am sorry that I bit your hand when you tried to take my falafel away from me. Yes, I know I said we would share. I am also sorry that I stole your shoe…and drank a beer out of it. And that I peed in your garbage can. Oh, wait. That was your sock drawer? My bad.

To My Friends: I am sorry that I called your girlfriend “Gorilla”…to her face (but I am more sorry that you are dating such a mess). Sorry that I brought that random dude back to the apartment and accidentally took him to your room. I will wash your sheets…and rug. Oh, and your teddy bear. Read More »

For some reason, all the men I encounter lately consider awkward to be the new hot thing in the art of pick-up lines. I’m not sure who these work on, or if they really do, ever, but something must be inspiring people to come up with gems like the following. Maybe it’s that crappy Pick Up Artist?

1.“You intimidate me because you’re [insert your ethnicity here].” Hi, try responding to that—when you’re clearly not interested—without sounding like a complete racist. I deserve a drink from the bartender just for being made to feel that uncomfortable, thanks.

2. “You look like you should be on that show So You Think You Can Dance.” Caveat here is, if you are not dancing in any way, shape, or form. I’m wearing shorts and 4-inch heels, these aren’t exactly my dancing shoes, but thanks? Read More »

I am feeling sick. Hungover sick. The sad part? I only had two beers and a shot last night. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. But I am.

I spent all day yesterday looking forward to midnight. I got all dolled up and went downtown to a show–which was so pretentious buzz indie rock that I was suffocating soberly in a room filled with drunken hipsters. At midnight, some gentleman friends of mine took me to a bar for a drink.

A cold, fizzy beer thrilled my lips more than any part of any male has probably ever done. I finished the beer and it was time to move on to another bar down the street. And everyone there was SO HIP. No, I don’t mean to sound like a sarcastic b*tch, but I just loathe walking into any place where people stare me down because they’re trying to figure out WHO I am. It’s so L.A. and I wish that kind of stuff would just stay in L.A.

After waiting for the bartender to attend to my off the wagon needs for twenty minutes…I was really starting to wonder what all of the fuss was about. All of that ridiculous waiting while the sad looking hippie girl, who undoubtedly thought she was the one who invented dangling earrings, was elbowing me in the boob…it all seemed a little silly for a simple PBR. Read More »

It’s about 8 AM on a Sunday and you’re half-awake, rolling over in bed to get comfortable again.

“Uhh, where am I? Sh*t, who is this guy? Where is my underwear?”

Another blacked-out night on the town. No shame, I’ve had my fair share, but from time to time I wonder if I had equal chances of waking up in a ditch in Jersey. As a former bartender (and current bar-hopper) I’ve gotten to know a lot of people and their drinking habits. As a result I picked up a lot of ways to keep the boozin’ under control.

There is obviously the option to watch the clock and literally make sure you don’t exceed your alotted dph (drinks per hour). 12 oz. of beer, 4 oz. of wine, and 1 oz. of 80 proof liquor all take about an hour for your body to metabolize, so you can go ahead and do the math on that versus how long you plan on drinking and how good you want to feel.

This won’t work at a party, but if you’re at a bar, do not open a tab. It’s a fabulous way to drink too much and blow more money than you intended. This is my personal downfall. I recommend using cash. You can bring a limited amount, forcing you to stop when it’s gone. Although, if you make the bartenders run your card every single time you buy a round, they might stop serving you anyway. Read More »

I love Almond Joys. They’re basically my favorite candy bar. Coconut, almonds (for protein!), and chocolate, there’s no better combination in this world.

(Unless it’s Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Gosling and chocolate)

One of the best bartenders I know gave me this recipe, and I’ve tried it a few times myself. It’s definitely sweet, not something to get wasted on, but just perfect for those Saturday night BBQ’s or the beginning of a girl’s night out.

Almond Joy Shot

• 3 oz. Malibu Rum

• 1.5 oz. Amaretto

• 1 oz. Chocolate Liqueur

• 1 oz. Baileys Irish Cream

• Chocolate Syrup

• Whipped Cream

Add the Malibu, Chocolate Liqueur, Amaretto, and Baileys to a shaker with ice. Shake about 6 times (try not to over-mix, the individual flavors will get muddled), and then pour into shot glasses. Drizzle a little whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top and you’re good to go!

…And always remember to drink responsibly. Cute bartenders never go for the drunk girls.

Howdy, partner. What’s that cha got there on yer holster? Is that…tequila?

Yes! Yes it is.

Thanks to Yumsugar, I found my new best party pal. The Booze Belt. It’s a belt that holds two bottles of liquor and six shot glasses (glasses, not liquor, included).

With this accessory strapped to your waist, you’ll be the hit of the party – not to mention, the most in-demand bartender of the night.

It’s 90 bucks, but if you wanna make your money back, just throw on a cowboy hat, a pair of boots, give yourself a cowgirl name and charge people $2 each for one of Booze Belt Bessie’s straight-up shots.

Quite a ridiculous, yet hilarious invention that only a college student could pull off…and on!

What is the deal with bar-linger-ers? You know who I am talking about- those inconsiderate jackasses that absolutely refuse to vacate the bar area once they’ve been served- leaving you with no other option but to hoover over the service bar, only to be growled at by the pissed-off waitress picking up her order. How long could it possibly take to get a f@*%ing drink?

I have absolutely no patience when it comes to my drinking time. Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got me some drinkin’ to do.

Fortunately for you and me, I came across some very useful tips @ wikihow.com – that are certain to make your drink ordering experience much more pleasureable. Take a look.

1 Get to the bar. In a heaving sweaty crowd that is three or four people deep, the critical thing is to seize any opening, no matter how small, and claim it as your own. It’s a three step procedure:

* Snake your hand through the heaving throng until it touches wood. Getting your hand on the bar top is like staking a flag in the ground. Once you’ve done it the territory is yours.

* As soon as someone moves away, turn your body flush with the bar, with both hands planted on the woodwork. You are now in the pole position.

2 Get noticed. You need to catch the nearest barkeep’s eye as soon as possible. Use everything at your disposal to make an impression. Smile, look approachable and keep your impatience to yourself. It may also be possible to “catch the bartender’s eye” with money (see Tips). Follow the barkeep’s actions closely till you catch his eye.

3 Watch for the critical moment. After he has given change to the person he’s just served, the barkeep’s eyes will flick up briefly looking for the next customer. If he looks at you immediately start saying your order.

4 Make your move. Raise your hand, open your mouth slightly and lean forward a touch. The millisecond the barkeep glances at you, call out your order in a loud, clear voice. Say you’re ordering four drinks. Hold up four fingers or say “I’ll need four…” and then name them all.

5 Tip generously. If you are planning a whole night’s drinking, smart tipping will ensure prompt service on future orders.

Read the article.

www.jupiterimages.com