You might think Small Claims Court is only for trashy folks on Judge Judy, but when you’re a college student with little power, it can be easy for someone to blindside you by taking advantage of you (and your finances) when you least suspect it. That actually happened to me, when I was subletting from a psychopath who decided to change the locks on me one day and keep my entire rent check (it was the first week of the month when I was forced out) and my security deposit.

If I thought I was shocked when I was suddenly barred from my own home, I was even more surprised when I learned the ropes of actually going to small claims court. Why does this lesson fit into Money Matters? Because you actually have to spend quite a bit of money if you want to get what is owed to you in the long run.

In order to file your claim, you will need any articles of evidence pertaining to your case. Any contracts, agreements, or legal statements should be compiled and photocopied. Then you will have to pay a fee just to have your case processed. For me, I had to pay to get several of my documents photocopied, and then cut a check for $100 to the court just to proceed. $100 when I was already out over a grand. Still, at that point, it had become a pride issue, and I wasn’t going to let this snake take advantage of one more poor, naive girl.

Depending on the rules of your particular state, you may also have to pay for an officer to personally deliver the small claims summons to the other party. The problem with that is that the officer can only try the house so many times before all of your paperwork is returned to you, with a stamp that reads “Undeliverable.” So I had to try again. After the second set of docs was returned, I found my villain’s work address (ironically, he was a bank teller) and the po-po brought his small claims summons to the bank where he worked. Read More »

“Hey baby, what’s your sign?”

I’ve never had to deal with that line in a bar, but I have had a guy try to deconstruct me on a first date based on my birthday. He thought he was being cute. I thought he’d be cuter with a bag over his head.

Lame, unfunny idiot using it as a come on or not, there’s definitely something to Astrology. Defining people by a little symbol and its characteristics are fun—especially if you get to define them in the bitchiest way possible.

How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign makes no qualms about the fact that it’s a book based on the idea that all men are bastards—be they crab, bull, or scorpion.

“Why is Capricorn so boring?” it asks on the title page. “What makes Libra think he’s so perfect? And who on earth would want to mate with an Aires?”

“Fire Sign Bastards are always better than you and will never hesitate to tell you so,” starts the first chapter of this little retro bamphlet (book/pamphlet). “They’ll then hammer the fact home by telling you again—just incase you didn’t hear them the first time.” Read More »