It’s no secret among my friends that I like being treated aggressively in the bedroom, but sometimes, I feel like I’m the only girl I know who likes getting roughed up. Perhaps that’s because my sexual propensities really are that rare, but more likely, it’s because a taboo against BDSM still exists.

Rachel Kramer Bussel, who recently wrote on The Frisky about a newly discovered desire to be choked during sex, notes that “Women, especially feminists, aren’t supposed to say they like rough sex … [There's a] misconception that consensual BDSM is a precursor to violence.” That’s something I know all too well. Last year, I blogged about an instance of rough sex on my website, Sex and the Ivy. While my entries often receive mixed reviews (because some disagree with my decision to write publicly about my sex life), I was surprised by the number of commenters who were outraged by this piece. Some of the reactions included: Read More »

Concept: Knife pleats/Issey Miyake

Once upon a time in late 2006, I really needed a job. I hopped on Craigslist, blindly sent out a couple of resumes, sat back and watched the replies roll in. One such interview opportunity came from Soho’s own Pleats Please by Issey Miyake store. Why would anyone want to wear that many pleats?, I asked myself, unable to shake the image of Alicia Silverstone in Clueless from my head. So I never responded. And now I am regretting it. Not only have I discovered how the high-fashion futuristic feel of tiny knife pleats is about as far as one can get from looking like a “Baby One More Time” video reject; I have also learned that the construction of tightly-pleated fabric allows it to stand up and out in a way that wouldn’t otherwise happen with the same material components! Plus, the brand name is polite! Check out how Miyake’s pieces are made!

I know not everything I write about will be wearable or, mostly, affordable, for most college students, or most people. But, if you’re willing to try, there are probably plenty of look-alikes available at your local thrift shop. I just picked up a metallic blue crumpled/pleated dress at The Vintage Thrift Shop in Flatiron and a to-die-for black pleated scarf from Reminiscence in Chelsea. The aforementioned aren’t even wildly-priced designer vintage spots, but mid-to-low-priced stores, devoid of pretentious waif-like salesgirls to boot. SVA students, I hope you’re listening! Read More »

Dull, normal sex leaving you a little bored? Looking for something you can buy that will spice things up? Looking for something you can buy that almost no one else will have? Looking for something that’s plain odd?

Have I got the sex toys for you.

G-Spot Link Cuffs – You take these Velcro babies and lock them around your ankles. Supposedly, it makes “the missionary position” a lot more fun, since it allows your partner to “adjust the positioning” of your legs for maximum effect.

My verdict: Who lacks so much muscle that they can’t keep their legs up on their own accord?

The Doggie Style Strap – (yeah, that’s what it’s called) This strap is designed to go underneath the torso of whoever’s receiving…allowing the “giver” to stop suffering from the rampant backache and exhaustion that apparently comes from going at it from behind.

My verdict: HOW LAZY ARE YOU?! Read More »