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Drink this, not that: the best and worst beers for your body.

Is that you, Wednesday?

It’s me, the girl who wants it to be Friday already. The girl who has been up far too late every night reading “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” and can’t drag her ass out of bed to get to her internship in the morning. The girl who ran out of clean underwear on Monday and needs a nice, Saturday afternoon to do her laundry. The girl who is about ready to scream if she has to look at one more freaking Excel spreadsheet or get one more GD cup of coffee for her bosses.

Yeah, I’m over you, Wednesday. And the only thing getting me through this long ass day of clerical work and a terrible lunch (so. sick. of turkey sandwiches) is knowing that an ice cold Amstel Light (or 6) is coming my way at 5 p.m. Mmmmm. Refreshing. Too bad those bad boys are gonna leave me feeling fat and achy tomorrow morning…

Which got me thinking:

Would You Rather there be a beer that had zero calories or a beer that didn’t give you a hangover the next day?

Things to Consider: Beer gut, how many calories are in a $1 pitcher, the way you feel at 9am on Sunday morning.

Vote and tell us why below!

"She's gonna get fat."

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming): the myth.

Alright guys, I’m gonna level with you: I’m a big fan of the brewskies. I like Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale, Sweetwater 420, the occasional stein of Newcastle, and the slightly more frequent funnel full of Bud Light. I particularly like that I can drink copious amounts of beer without the consequences that would come from drinking the same amount of vodka, water & lime. Most of all, I like that beer lends itself easily to day-drinking.

What I don’t like about beer (besides how much it makes me want to sing drinking songs) is that it makes me fat.

It’s not even the eventual, slowly-creeping-towards-your-thighs fat. It’s like an immediate, “I’m so carbonated and delicious and I’m going to make you so full you can’t suck in anymore” variety of fat. So it’s no wonder that beer contributes majorly to the Freshman 15, right? Ehh, yes and no.

The typical 12 ounce beer has around 150 calories. So obviously, each one you drink adds to your bottom line of calorie intake. The more calories you consume without burning them off, the more weight you’re gonna gain (I know, it’s all very scientific). But if you carefully measure out your Stairmaster time to counteract the beer pong tournament you plan on winning later and you’re still gaining weight, it might not be Natty Light’s fault.

A strange thing happens when I drink beer. Come the end of the party/night/gameday/Happy Hour, I feel this strange magnetic force pulling me in the direction of anywhere that serves cheese fries. I’m not the only one, right?  Ok, good.

Beer, while awesome, still has alcohol in it (actually I’m pretty sure that’s what makes it awesome). Alcohol has this sneaky, two pronged approach to weight gain. In and of itself, it’s a highly caloric waste of nutritional value. On top of that, it lowers inhibitions. So not only are you more likely to make out with that guy who dressed up as a Smurf for Halloween (my best friend is still trying to get the blue body paint off of her sheets), you’re more likely to think that a Big Mac is totally worth blowing your day of careful eating and yoga. And it might not stop at the Big Mac, because we all know McDonald’s is a gateway drug to pizza and Lucky Charms.

So, while beer will make you gain weight (without exercise and self-control), another often-overlooked aspect of weight gain is beer’s BFF, Drunk Eating. The best way to avoid gaining a beer gut that isn’t even beer? Don’t stock your fridge with unhealthy crap, keep snacks in pre-portioned containers or bags, and for the love of all that is holy do not ask the cab driver to stop at Taco Bell on the way home! Instead, eat a good dinner with complex carbs and protein on nights you know you’re goin’ out big. Good judgment before 5 rounds of flip cup might just ensure better judgment after you are dubbed queen of the first try flip.

Leonardo DiCaprio.

The man is smoldering on the red carpet…and pretty much everywhere else you find him with clothes on.  However, the beach (and we’re not talking the movie)?  Leo is a bit heavy on the man boobs and whatnot.  He should stick to the jeans + tee shirt rule at the very least.

Daniel Radcliff

Everyone’s favorite wizard is a bonafide cutie patootie.  He’s got the eyes, the hair, the smile, and the accent to pull any girl he likes – but watch out!  The minute Daniel strips down, you better put on some shades because that kid is paler than I am.  Yes, he’s got a pretty sweet body from all those nude plays and Harry Potter fight sequences, but you won’t be able to see it beyond the glare his freakishly white skin produces.

Chris Noth

Oh, Mr. Big.  Just like Carrie, I have a love/hate relationship with you.  I love when you wear deliciously tailored suits and crack a smug smile or two.  I hate when you take your clothes off and obliterate any sexy time imaginings I may have been having about you.  Put the gut away – you look too sexy in clothes to be seen without any.

Pierce Brosnan

James Bond = Sex.  That’s just the way it goes.  Any 007 is pure sex walking around in a Gucci suit or whatever he feels like pulling off at that moment.  They can wear anything and I’ll be all over it (well, not literally…stupid restraining orders).  When they wear nothing, even better – oh wait, no.  Not true.  Throw a shirt over that thick mass of gray chest hair, please, Pierce.

Steven Tyler

As a rock legend, Steven Tyler has been workin’ it for decades.  He’s the original hipster, rolling with the skinny  jeans and scarves.  He represents the epitome of rock and roll and all the strange and fascinating fashion choices that come with that title.  He’s also really skinny and kind of scary looking without any clothes on.  Really scary.  The word “skeletor” comes to mind.

Russell Crowe

I love my gladiator sandals, but a real gladiator…now that I could get on board with.  Who didn’t want to be locked up with Russell Crowe, wearing a toga and some sweet sandals?  The man is cut…sort of.  Well, he was, anyway.  Now he’s in need of some serious Man Spanxx and clothing at all times.  And even he thinks so – he won’t be seen without a shirt anywhere. Way to be considerate, Russy.

Val Kilmer

If you can make a suit of black spandex, latex, and a cape look good (especially when you throw a pair of bat ears on top), then you deserve the title of “sexy pants.”  Val Kilmer has shown us over and over again why we adore him.  Unfortunately, when he goes out without his clothes on, he also gives us reason to team up with The Riddler to take him down.

Lindsay Lohan’s getting sued.

So what causes the beer belly, anyway?

Chase Crawford and Zac Efron say goodbye to man-bangs.

Just how bad are your health vices?

10 crimes committed against women by reality TV.

Zero calories!?

This wine sounds like a dream come true, but I just don’t understand how on earth Slender’s claims could be possible. How can there be no carbs? And no calories? (Sugar alcohol is considered a carb and is metabolized the same as a real sugar.) But the makers continue to tout the amazing benefits of Slender: it has no calories (in the sweetener), has a 0 Glycemic index, contains no carbohydrates, has the identical flavor spectrum as Sucrose (sugar), has no aftertaste, does not affect insulin levels, and has zero side effects (because it cannot be metabolized by the human body).

It is basically every college girls’ dream: the ability to drink without all those pesky calories?  And for only $10.99 on their website you can try this god-sent beverage. I wonder if this is how celebs like Lindsey Lohan continue to party and still get (frighteningly) skinnier over time…

Slender wine isn’t total perfection, however. Recent studies have shown that hard liquor, when mixed with diet beverages like Crystal Lite or Sprite Zero, cause the alcohol to be absorbed into the body much quicker than when mixed with drinks that have calories. How is Slender wine any different? Also, Slender is made with Zerose, another new artificial sweetner on the market, which is bound to cause a stir. Is it good? Is it bad? Will it kill us all?

Finally, it is well-documented that “beer bellies” aren’t caused by the calories in alcohol, but rather in the fattening foods we eat when we are drinking. If that is the case, is Slender really going to do us that much good?

What do you think about Slender? Will you try it?

For more info: Visit my blog and get fitness tips throughout the day by following me on Twitter !

But listen up: the calories in some of your favorite cocktails are plentiful!

Each Cosmo you down has over 250 calories, while a Long Island Iced Tea contains around 700 calories!  And you know you never drink just one. But don’t worry, ladies; you don’t have to cut out your alcohol-related fun. There’s plenty of low-calorie options for you out there and being the generout bar-and-tight-jean-loving girls that we are, we’re going to share them with you.

1.  Mojito – They’re cool and refreshing on hot summer days, and a much better choice than frozen margaritas  (which can be around 400 calories).  They also happen to be mostly booze, so you aren’t wasting calories on mixers (and, bonus, a little goes a long way).

2.  Slender Wine – This new wine is going to be in this year’s Academy Awards goodie bags, and has no calories and no added sugar.  It comes in red, white, and blush varieties, and for only about $10 a pop, you can afford to try all three!

3.  Budweiser Select or MGD 64 -  If you’re a beer girl, then try one of these low-cal and low-carb beers that both claim to have the same taste as their full-calorie counterparts. We haven’t tried em yet, but they’ve got to be better than heavy and calorie-laden Beast, right?

4.   Sour Apple Martini – Cosmopolitans and chocolate martinis, while delicious, are high in calories, but not all martinis are that bad.  A sour apple or even a regular martini has less than 200 calories.

5.  Diet soda cocktails – Switching to a diet mixer in any of your favorite cocktails (Rum and Diet Coke, or Gin and Diet Tonic) will save you TONS of calories, and won’t affect the taste too much.

If you watched the VP debate last night you heard a lot about Sarah Palin’s BFF, Joe Six Pack. But who is he? What does he like? What does he do?

We don’t know Joe Six Pack personally (though we have hooked up with his cousin, Mark Quarter Barrel…who could not keep it up), but we imagine he’d be something like this:

Description:

5’11, brown hair, brown eyes, some sort of facial hair, big hands and a tattoo of some sort (possibly his kids’ initials) on his upper arm. No actual six pack to be seen behind the slight beer belly hanging over the top of his ill-fitting denim.

Likes:

Beer (most likely Natty Ice and PBR), Nascar, cars with big engines, girls with big boobs, Sundays spent watching football, red meat, keg stands, tobacco, lawn chairs, American flag apparel, Levi’s, the missionary position, pepperoni pizza, boys’ weekends full of beer and conversations about women with big boobs, the Bible, those giant turkey leg things you get at the fair, classic rock, leather vests and “that hot lady who is always with John McCain.”

Dislikes:

Books, politics, vegetables, flowers, people who don’t approve of burping/farting in public, organic anything, beverages that are non alcoholic, women’s sports, and feminists.

How to woo him:

Beer, boobs and talk of WWE. That is, of course, if you have any interest in wooing him.

But why wouldn’t you?

People always yell at me and tell me I am being too picky, (“What is the big deal?” “Why not someone who is at least your height??”) but I can’t help it. And trust me – I have tried.

Last weekend, I went home with a very attractive boy – my height, super hot …but really, really skinny. I was already nervous enough to strip down to my skivvies, considering my post beer belly. But, thanks to the power of that very beer, I was feelin’ frisky, so strip I did. We had our fun. When it was time to go to bed, though, I couldn’t find my undergarments in the pile of clothes on the floor, so the boy threw me a pair of his boxers to sleep in. And it was like putting in a pair of Spanx. Or plaid biker shorts.

Totally true.

Totally embarrassing.

Talk about feeling like less of a woman; I felt like a total heffer. Any sort of confidence and feeling of sexiness went right out the window. Which is exactly where I wanted to go. All of my insecurities came rushing back and my desire to only date someone bigger than me was confirmed.

People are always talking about Tom Cruise and his various super tall wives, but there is a big difference between me and Katie Holmes (besides the fact that I am not some silent Scientologist). She is famous…and glamorous… and is married to Tom Freaking Cruise. She could have 6 eyes and be 12 feet tall and no one would care.

But it’s different for me. I don’t live in a land of Oscar parties and red carpets. I live in the real world. A world where I may want to wear heels from time to time, or get on top without suffocating my man. A world where I can look up at my boyfriend…or curl up in his oversized sweatshirt. Not rest my beer can on his head or borrow a t-shirt when I am feelin’ like sporting a baby tee.

I am sure I could love someone who is shorter if I tried, but I can’t seem to get myself to give them a second glance (after I look right over the top of their heads when I scan the scene at the bar). Maybe it’s just me, but there is something about wearing the same size pants as your boyfriend that sorta changes things. I want to feel like a petite lady in my relationship – is that so wrong?

Often, whole grains get lumped into the scary carbohydrate category and people are hesitant to include them in their diets. Well, a new study should completely put your fears to rest and even encourage you to factor them back into your daily intake.

Researchers at Penn State found that people who trimmed calories and increased their whole-grain intake shed more belly fat. In comparison, dieters in the study who mainly ate refined grains, like white bread, were able to lose weight, but they trimmed less fat from the middle.

So, here are just a few of my favorite whole grain snacks and foods that are quick and easy to eat in between classes and extracurriculars…

Kashi – All of their products are made with whole grains. Their cereals rock (I keep a box in my desk drawer whenever I need a crunchy fiber boost during the day), and I love the snack bars as well as the cookies.

Food for Life – I’ve mentioned this before, but I love these products. Not only are they made with all natural whole grains, but they are completely flourless. The cereal is great, but a little bland if you eat it plain so I usually put a little Splenda in it to sweeten up my morning. I love the english muffins as well for an easy snack.

Nabisco Whole Grain products – I love the whole grain fig newtons. Since they’re a bit high in sugar, it’s important to eat in moderation and not scarf down the whole package!

So, there’s just enough time to add whole grains into your diet, hit the gym hardcore, and lose that extra beer weight around your belly before you hit the beach for Spring Break.