So, who are the people’s favorite A-listers?

Is that Eva Mendes’ nipple?

So this is what the Woman of the Year wears…

Real leather jackets…for under $250?

The coolest wheelbarrow race I’ve ever seen.

Joel Madden really doesn’t like Britney’s vajay.

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list. You know, like when we were choosing a school, when we were choosing a date to the first sorority date party, or when we weren’t sure which we loved more: our Prada backpack or our Skechers.

So when are constantly faced with the awful decision of which D-List celebrity is more annoying, we make a list. Yes, this is a decision we feel the need to make on a weekly basis; we have a lot of time on our hands.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between none other than our two favoritest of celeretards: Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag. Who will take the d-bag cake? It’s a really difficult decision to make, so let’s break it down. Read More »

Hayden Panettiere is single again.

Lunchtime liposuction?

Online shopping made even easier.

Rihanna is not buying Chris Brown’s apology.

Katy Perry is not bumping uglies with Benji Madden.

Carolina Herrera hair and makeup how-to.

How does sex in space work, exactly?

Live luxuriously on a budget.

M.I.A’s baby is adorable!

A-Rod specifies what drug he used.

The new Facebook terms are not that big of a deal, so chill the eff out, people.

And this is why my parents wouldn’t let me have a pet chimpanzee.

Lindsay Lohan is skinny cuz she’s stressed! Duh!

Conan gets ready to move to LA (and an earlier timeslot).

The perfect liquid eyeliner. So good.

Michael Phelps gets off for the bong hit.

Should you use heavier dumbbells or do more reps?

Bridging the (drinking) gender gap.

Miley Cyrus won’t be leaving Casa De Billy Ray anytime soon…

Tame those drinking habits. You know, if you want to…

MAC makes choosing the perfect color easy!

The best beauty trends of 2009…for $20 or less.

Is Katy Perry kissing Benji Madden? And if so, does she like it?

And dressed in leather.

$400 of makeup products for free? Sign me up!

Don’t like Obama? Here are some tips for livin’ abroad.

Everyone was lookin’ hot at last night’s American Music Awards.

Spend less money at the bar.

Megan Fox hearts Zac Efron. Get in line, sister.

No more selling sex on Craigslist for free, ladies.

The First Lady has quite a booty.

Is Suri Cruise the next Paris Hilton?

Mac teams up with Hello Kitty. So cute.

Note to self: keep potatoes away from butt.

What every girl should know: A guide to high heels!

Fat Man’s Sex Ramp…yup, it’s exactly what you think.

Estee Lauder vs. Lancome: Which is worth the mascara splurge?

Finals are coming up…here are some ways to prep.

Weatherproof your style!

Madge and Guy are officially done-zo…

…and so are Paris and Benji.

What the eff is a Turbaconducken??

Christmas is fast approaching…here are some gift ideas for your guy!

Is Barrack bringing sexy back??

Paris Hilton has a new fragrance that’s called Fairy Dust (note: it is not white, and you cannot snort it), and supposedly, one little spritz smells like:

“…top notes of sparkling Prosecco accord, orange blossom, and pink peony. The middle notes will consist of spring gardenia, water lilly, and peach nectar, and the blend will finish off with bottom notes of cashmere musk, sueded patchouli, and vanilla cream“.

Now, we thought P. Hilton’s new scent was going to smell more like sweat, tanning lotion, and tepid fame, but water lilies and sueded patchouli it is.   What about you?  If you could guess, what would you guess Fairy Dust would smell like?

So I know I haven’t written in like forever, but it’s time for me to tell you that me and Benji broke up. I totally thought that me and him would last – like I didn’t think that he’d mind that I had another boyfriend.

But whatever, I’m so over Benji and I am totally hearting Chris now. Nicole can KEEP Benji all to herself now.

My new boyfriend like OWNS MySpace so he can help me redo my page so that way if I wanted to really run for President, he’d make it so that the whole country can vote on my page instead of having to go to those polls. Those are probably like really far and out of the way for everyone. But whatever, the election is like next year so that’s plenty of time. I bet we’ll be married by then!!

I don’t normally like to get so serious – but Blackberry, I’m lonely. Like sure I have sex with any guy who gives me the *look* but I don’t have any girls to call to tell them about my sex or if it burns when I pee. LA is too full of jealous girls whose boobs are bigger than mine so I decided that I’m going to go to London to find my new best friend. I think that it’s in France so that means that we can shop there together and everything. Read More »

While you were up way past your bedtime watching Michael Phelps dominate the pool in Beijing, you probably missed out on some serious stuff happening back here in the states.

Like the fact that Hollywood is breaking apart at the seams.

Seriously, everyone is heading to break-up city! Even the rock solid couples…

Like Paris and Benji! Say it ain’t so! I thought this was the real thing. I thought this was forever. I guess “forever” in Paris’s mind means, “Until something more scandalous comes along that can get me back in the public eye.” This time, it was Chris DeWolfe, the Co-Founder of Myspace, that did the trick. And, while I liked the idea of her and Nicole having matching husbands, I think this new couple is a match made in heaven. She loves overwhelming the world with pictures of herself….and he runs the company that does just that.

I just can’t wait to see what kind of pictures/videos surface online from this relationship. A Night in Paris Part Deux? Read More »

Blackberry,

I have been so busy and my life has been so hard. No one understands how hard it is to be me. Every1 is so jealous of me that they have to find ways to bring me down. Especially now that Nicole has that dumb, stupid baby.

Like last week – I had a superhot photo shoot to do and I had a smarty idea. The smartyest – like, you know how I always look hot in all of the picshurs that I take. Like every single one. Well, I was thinking like how can I make myself like an even gooder model. And geniousosity – the only thing that could make a picture of me more better would be a PUPPY!

So I pulled over right away to buy one and the store WOULDN’T LET ME. Something about how I don’t feed them or whatever – but like, I hug my puppies when I feel like it and, sometimes, I bring them out to the clubs with me like a good puppy mommy. And if I don’t put them in my closet, then where else would they go? Besides, if I don’t need to eat a lot and I’m so tall, they don’t need to eat either because they’re so tiny and preshus. Read More »