Everything I know I learned on The Street…. Sesame Street. And today, on the show’s 40^th anniversary, I want to give credit where credit is due.

Without Big Bird and the gang, I never would have figured out exactly what things are not like the others. This logic has helped me weed out the good guys from the frat guys at parties, and the under-cooked hamburgers from the well-done ones at the dining hall. Sesame Street has single-handedly saved me from STDs and E. coli.

Ernie and Bert taught me how to cope with living with a roommate and how to pick up on subtle undertones of romantic feelings from them, too.

And the Count, well he taught me how to count… slowly… and then faster… and then slowly again.

Note: This is NOT me and my friend. We're girls.

Last year for Halloween my best friend and I dressed up as Ernie and Bert, complete with yellow and orange face-paint.  Can you say ‘hottest costumes ever’?  The guy I was hooking up with didn’t seem to think so.  I had seen him out earlier in the night and when we texted later to meet-up (read: hook-up) he said, “I’m on my way over. Wash that sh*t off your face before I get there.”

Ouch.

You mean you don’t think I’m hot when I’m wearing bright orange face-paint? Harsh. But I wasn’t ready to end my Halloween night hookup-less, so I proceeded to the bathroom to scrub “that sh*t off my face.”  But it turns out that washing off layers of face-paint that took a half hour to apply was tricky. And when he finally did show up I just looked like Bert…with a melting face.  If only I had been prepared with the right equipment to return to my natural skin color ahead of time.

Whether you are putting on face-paint, false eyelashes, or just regular makeup that is heavier than usual, it’s all gonna need to come off at the end of the night (especially if you want some Hallow-sexin).  So arm yourself ahead of time with these helpful heavy-duty makeup removal products and you’ll have your real face back in no time.

To Remove Face Paint/ Heavy Makeup
Cold cream is your best option. Yes, it’s gonna feel gross, but so does a face full of giant zits in the morning from improper makeup removal or, worse, a face that has been scrubbed raw trying to get that ish off. If you want your skin to be truly clean, cold cream is the way to go.  Just use a cotton ball and apply the cold cream to your entire face (or other painted areas).  Let it sit for a few minutes and soak up that nasty makeup.  Then use a facecloth and warm water to rub off it all off. Follow up with a little rinse with water and you’re face is fresh and ready for bed (or booty).

Another option is to use baby oil applied and removed in the same way.  Even baby wipes are a decent option for face-paint removal.  (All of these products can be found at your local drugstore).

To Take off Those False Eyelashes
You may want to try and just yank these guys off at the end of the night, but I would advise against that. Strongly. Removing false eyelashes is difficult because it’s easy to accidentally pull out your own lashes (which hurts like a mo-fo) and lash glue can be really sticky. The best and safest way to remove false lashes is with an eyelash glue remover, like this one from Ardell.  Apply the remover to your lash line, let it sit, then carefully pull off the lashes beginning at each corner, working towards the center. 

Note:Make sure that even if you’re intoxicated you pull on the lashes gently.

Remember that even though your Smurf makeup looks great tonight, it won’t look good in the morning… when your pillowcase is blue and your pores are clogged. No matter what time you get home (and no matter what your BAC is), make sure you get that makeup off and get it off thoroughly.

And if that doesn’t happen, well, arm yourself with some good cover-up techniques. You’re gonna need ‘em.