Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv. (You KNOW this.)

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I stole my best friend’s boyfriend.

I know it sounds bad but here’s the situation. She didn’t love him. They were just dating because he asked her out and she was too lazy to break up with him. She was always complaining that he wasn’t thoughtful enough or romantic enough and etc.

But I saw something really special in this guy. Let’s call him T. He is the nicest sweetest person and we always had chemistry. I actually introduced them. T and I had a lit class together and we always hung out. I took him to a party and he though my best friend was really cute so I set them up.

But then I watched how she treated him (not good — making him carry things and complaining about him to me behind his back) and I realized I had developed feelings for him. Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Recently, I’ve had one of the worst things happen to me that could happen to any college student: I had a falling out with my best friend. It was bad. The kind of thing you see in movies, where there’s yelling and tears. She pretty harshly informed me that she didn’t like me anymore. After three years of living together and being close friends, she ditched me to be BFFLs with another girl whom she finds to be more “exciting.” Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Goddess of Wisdom, Guardian of Common Sense, Destroyer of BullS***, Tuffy,

Recently my fiance dumped me. Or I dumped him. Or something. I’m not sure. He tried to blackmail me and shame me into doing things I didn’t want to do by threatening to leave me if I didn’t comply so I called his bluff and we went down in flames. And then I found out he cheated on me. But that’s not why I’m emailing you, Tuffy! I’m emailing you about what happened after we broke up.

After the breakup I started toying with the idea of moving 6 hours away to go back to college. I’d quit going because my fiance wanted me to spend more time with him (I know, I know. I was a stupid c**t. But hey. I was barely 19. And stupid. So, sooooooo stupid.) and after 3 years I had the chance to go back. I finally decided to grab a pair and do it when I noticed a startling trend amongst my friends. Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I never thought I’d be writing you, but I’ve been reading your advice for quite some time and I think you might be the only person I trust to give this kind of advice. To sum up my situation, I have a best friend who I’ve had since my first semester of freshman year. This best friend of mine, P, has a girlfriend that he has been with for over two years. She doesn’t go to our school and I’ve only met her once.

To give you all the details, P and I are very close and before we were really friends, he cheated on his girlfriend with me, he later found out that she has cheated on him too. You should also know that I now have a serious boyfriend that I’ve been with for almost a year, so this is not a jealousy issue. P and I are always together and people have begun to associate us with one another.
Read More »

Your best friend totally stabbed you in the back…again. You don’t even know why you are friends with her anymore. Ok, so she is really fun to go out with and is the best person to lay in bed and watch a movie with, but the back stabbing and sh*t-talking has got to stop.

What a bitch. Seriously, the next time you see her you are going to open a major can of whoop ass and tell her everything that is on your mind: she’s a crappy friend, you can’t trust her, and those jeans you told her you liked? Yeah, they make her look FAT!

You sit in your room waiting for her to come home, stewing. Each passing minute brings out more and more anger, and you think of more things you can’t wait to say to her. You have never been this angry. You are afraid she is going to cry. You have been waiting to say these things for a long time and there is no telling how it is all going to go down.

You hear her come home. She drops her things and comes and finds you in your room.

“Hey!” She says, in that annoyingly chipper tone.

“Hey,” you reply.

“What’s up?”

“Nothin’, just studying. How was your day?” So, you chicken out. She just looks so normal and happy and you don’t know how to verbally bitch slap someone to her face. You know she doesn’t mean to be a bad friend, and you feel bad unleashing all that anger on her. And having to watch her reaction. Read More »

Got a question? Ask Tuffy Luv. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,

A few weekends ago while my roommate/best friend was passed out in her bedroom, her boyfriend and I hooked up. The boy and I had been friends freshman year, and I had feelings for him before he started dating my best friend. He and I agreed that it was never going to happen again and to not tell anyone. Two days later, when we were both drunk, it happened again. I believe he is a good person, and loves his girlfriend so I told him I wasn’t going to say anything.

2 weeks later he tried to hook up with my best friend and my other roommate. She rejected him, but told me the story. Selfishly, I don’t want to tell my best friend, but at the same time I wonder if I was wrong about him, and he is hooking up with other girls. What do I do?

– Sex With Best Friend’s Boyfriend Read More »

Dear Dude,

My best friend came clean this summer and told me he has had feelings for me since the eighth grade (six years). There is one problem: he has had a girlfriend for a little over two and a half years. He told me he is losing interest in her, she is not his type, and he hates so many things about her; she was just the girl he needed at the time. He tells me I am beautiful and always makes me feel special. He and I have so much in common – we hung out all summer (he saw me more than his girlfriend), his mother even told him to break up with his girlfriend for me. He is the perfect guy for me he is really sweet and romantic and knows absolutely everything about me. I know him better than anyone else and he knows me just as well.

I went to visit him at school this year and I met all of his friends and they kept asking him if I was his new girlfriend. The day I had to leave to go back to my school he told me he didn’t know what he was still doing with his current girlfriend and every time his friends asked him if I was his new girlfriend he wanted to say yes. He also told me every time he sees me his feelings for me grow stronger and stronger.

I started to get sick of him telling me about all of his feelings for me and not doing anything about it. So I took some advice from my sister and told him that I couldn’t wait around for him. He broke up with his girlfriend. We didn’t talk for a few days, which is not normal at all because we talk all day and every day. I understand he needed space and time to think, but later that weekend he deleted me off of Facebook. I asked him what was going on and he told me his ex made him do it. That night he told me he might be getting back with his her because losing her for two days made him realize that everything he hated about her didn’t matter to him anymore. When he said that, it made me feel like he was telling me that I was not worth it. He made me promise to be his best friend forever because he needs me in his life.  He also told me he wishes I would have had feelings for him sooner because we would probably be together, and now he wants his feelings for me to fade because he knows they will never go away.

Is he just afraid of change? Did I mess everything up? Should I wait around for him? Would it be a bad idea to see him over Thanksgiving break? I don’t think I know how to move on from him – what should I do?

I’m in need of major advice,
Broken Hearted Girl Read More »

Most people know how much it sucks to break up with a boyfriend. Whether he treated you horribly or the relationship has just run its course, telling your boyfriend adios is not easy. And is usually followed by tears, vodka, long trips to the gym, or some combination of all three.

The only thing harder than a romantic breakup is breaking up with a friend.

How do you tell someone that is your ultimate best friend and gal pal that, well, you’re just not that into her anymore?

Breaking things off with a BFF is definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Bottom line: this best friend just wasn’t really a friend anymore. She’d been flaking out on me, was way too caught up in trivial drama, and was never there when I truly needed her. She would only talk about herself and seemed completely uninterested in any details about my life. She seemed to be oblivious to her behavior and our deteriorating friendship, and I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a genuine conversation.

Once I came to terms with the issues, I knew that our friendship was going to have to end. And then I noticed how eerily similar the end of a platonic relationship is to that of a romantic one. Read More »

Question for La Tuff? Send it to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have found myself in a tough situation. My best friend of three years recently sent me a Facebook message out of the blue telling me that she no longer wishes to be friends or in contact with me. Her reasoning was that being friends with me causes her “too much stress” and she has been thinking about it “for the last two months.” The two examples she gave of me causing her stress were when I got annoyed at her at a party (when she was being rude to the host) and when I got angry at her for, at the last second, choosing to go to a job over helping me move (she had only told me that if I wanted her help, I would have to pay her $200, a statement which I found childish).

Tuffy, these were two small fights that we had already discussed and (I thought) had resolved. I had thought everything was fine up until a week ago, when she stopped contacting me. My mother had even treated us to see a musical in the city the Sunday before! Until now, she had always discussed when she was getting irritated at me; she’s a very frank and open person who has never hesitated to tell me when I’ve said or done something stupid, so I have been completely blown out of the water at this sudden change.

I’ve been very confused and hurt, and it’s been sending me into a depression. I had a lot of problems with depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies when I was younger, and basically had no real friendships until around the time I met her, all of which she has known for years. She told me that I should no longer contact her, and even told our other friends not to tell me about a party she was having (one she had already invited me to, before she stopped contacting me). We had plans to travel abroad over winter vacation and she was going to come to my family’s Thanksgiving (for the 3rd year in a row). Why continue making plans with me if she had been thinking of dropping me as a friend? Why pretend everything was perfectly fine, then drop a bomb on me like this? I’ve never been in such a confusing and hurtful situation like this before, and have no idea where to begin to handle it if she refuses to even speak to me.

-Confused, Hurt, and Betrayed Read More »