It started at the bus stop. I was probably wearing obnoxiously colored leggings and keds, and she was probably wearing a denim jumper and Mary Janes with those little white socks with the frilly edges. You know the types. She asked if I wanted to share a  bus seat with her since we were in the same kindergarten class. I said yes. Fast forward 13 years, and we’re texting each other about our plans for the first night of college. Were we going to be going to the same rager with jungle juice being served in a fishtank? Was her roommate going to faceplant off of a bar in the basement of a frat house? Were we going to find a DD just so we could go to Wawa at 3am? Not quite yet.

Going to college with my BFF wasn’t always so kosher. Here are a few things that really helped us out.

1. DO make your own decision. We didn’t decide to go to school together. In fact, we refused to tell each other what our final results were from each college, just in case one of us would be swayed by the other’s decision. We wanted to make our own, independent decision.

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Friends are important. They’re there for you, no matter what. They’re there to make you laugh. They’re there to let you cry. They’re there for nights out and nights in and cram sessions and outfit emergencies. They let you rant about boys and books and bars and beer.  You can talk for hours and text all night long. And they will never complain. They make your life a little bit easier, and a lot more entertaining.

And its only right that we return the favor, treat them equally awesome in all areas of friendship. But even with the best of intentions, it’s easy to get sidetracked. Life is busy and staying touch is hard. And scheduling time in for her panic attacks as well as your own can get kind of tricky.

Maybe CollegeCandy can make that a little easier?
Here are five easy ways to be a good friend.

1. Make time to chat. Like I said, life is busy. And whether you and your bestie live down the hall or across the country staying in touch is never easy. But if you don’t know what’s going on in her life how will you know when to start in on rules 2-5. Skype or Facebook message. Text or e-mail. Take a coffee break or do dinner. But make time to chat. She’ll appreciate that you care enough to care about her life.

2. Listen before you speak. It’s important to give advice (see rule number 3) but before you do that you need to know what’s going on. Okay fine, so maybe you know that the guy she’s crying over is so not worth her tears. But she obviously doesn’t think so. Find out why. Don’t speak over her and don’t give your opinion before she’s given hers. Know the situation, understand where she’s coming from, and then… Read More »

This week, as I caught up on my favorite fall shows (and watched some Sex and the City reruns) I couldn’t help but notice a running trend: female friendships. Sure some shows were about shopping (or singing while shopping) and some were about saving lives, but at the heart of it all, were some pretty cool chicks.

The kind of best friends every girl wishes she had.
The kind of best friends that will risk their lives to help you, the kind that will stand by you through anything, the kind of best friends that will…let you raid their closet. (Hey! It’s the little things that matter.)

These girls aren’t real, but we all wish they were. So, in my first ever Weekly Ten (yeah, I’m new so get used to me!) I’ve decided to pay tribute to what I consider to be some of the best fictional BFFs out there, past and present. Read More »

And you thought Justin Bieber fans were scary….

Old men are sexier than ever.

And this is why we love dating in the Fall.

BFF is officially a word. Just look it up!

This fall, it’s all about the shearling.

How to keep from moving too fast in a relationship.

It’s August, which means it’s almost that time of year: back to school. But unlike when we were younger and dreaded the first day, going back to college is exciting, enough to provoke countdowns on Facebook statuses (“Only 236 hours more days until I’m back at school!”), and overall giddiness. You can’t wait to pack up your rooms and your closets and get right back into the college atmosphere – crazy bar nights and frat parties, Wine-Down Wednesdays and Tequila Tuesdays, dorm room gossip sesh’s with your roommates, attempting to wake up for class, and making even more memories with your friends.

However, amidst all that excitement, there’s one gray cloud looming: you’ll be leaving your best friends from home behind.

No matter how much fun we have with our school best friends, it always sucks to leave behind your home BFFs – the girls and guys you grew up with, who know all about the times you made a fool of yourself in 9^th grade homeroom, and whom you can still go out with and have a good time. It especially sucks after a summer spent with them, when you’ve gotten used to seeing them on a daily basis, and you know that when school starts things will be different. Because let’s be honest: despite all of our best intentions to stay in touch with our BFFs during the academic year, it’s usually pretty tough. Between the parties and the actual work, it’s easy to start speaking only once a week or learning about one another’s lives through Newsfeed.

For those of you who are bummed about leaving behind your best girlfriends, don’t worry – you still have a few more weeks of summertime fun left, which means plenty of time to stock up on some serious BFF bonding sessions. So here is a list of things you should make time to do with your girls before you’re all back in school, back in the grind, and back to intermittent IMs. Read More »

We’ve all done it, slipped a little white lie in when talking to a friend. Your hair looks fine. Of course he’ll call you back. You are absolutely right.

It’s not like you meant to be dishonest, but the words tumbled out of your mouth before you even had the chance to think about them. You’re not lying; you’re sparing her feelings. Does she really need to know that you think she completely overreacted or that no, you don’t think the reason he didn’t call was because he got run over by a truck? You’re just trying to be a good friend. But are you really? Not according to Lori Gottlieb, who believes that being one another’s “yes women” is turning our BFFs into our worst enemies.

I pride myself on always telling the truth, in friendships, in relationships, and at work. Always. Honesty is not only important; it’s necessary. It builds trust, gains respect, and keeps things simple. There is not a single situation that could possibly be made less complicated by lying. At least, that’s what I strive for, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I too have caved to the pressure of being a “yes women” on more than one occasion.

According to Gottlieb a “yes women” is a friend who tells you exactly what you want to hear. She reiterates your opinion right back to you, squashing your fears and reaffirming your beliefs. She makes you feel better about yourself, while also making herself feel better. If you’re right, then so is she. There’s safety in numbers. Misery loves company. We’re just helping each out, right?

Wrong. We think that by lying to our friends we’re helping them, when we’re actually doing just the opposite. Honesty is the best policy. It’s a tried and true cliché for a reason. Wouldn’t you want to know the truth? Isn’t it better that you have a BFF who cares enough to withstand your rage when she disagrees about your new boyfriend? Sometimes, the truth hurts. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable. Read More »

There are some unwritten rules of friendship we all know: Thou shalt hold her hair back when she is praying to the porcelain god after a long Friday night. Thou shalt never date her ex-boyfriend, brother or best male friend. Thou shalt never have to watch Say Yes to the Dress alone. Thou shalt risk your life to satisfy the drunken cravings of your BFF.

But that’s where the clear-cut rules end and where the giant friendship gray area begins.

How can you tell if you are in a toxic friendship? Do you know how to tell if your friends are talking about you behind your back? And that friend who always compliments a terrible outfit choice or lets you date jerk after jerk – does she understand that, despite your feelings, honesty is the best policy? That there are certain moments between friends that always require the truth? Read More »

Best friends. Waiting home for you with open arms when you take that first walk-of-shame (or hip to hip, if you’re in the good fight together). Your shoulder to cry on, owner of every secret known to your embarrassing character.  A best friend is there for you when you need to decode that late night text from your crush.  A best friend is there for you when all you want to do on a Friday night is veg out and discuss the important things… like Octo-mom. A best friend will accompany you on the dance floor and be honest if you’re ‘shopping cart’ move is outdated.

And a BFF is there for you to tell you you’re fat?

OK, let me put down my Caramello Bar, and let’s figure this out. A recent survey of 3,000 women revealed that one in five women secretly think her best friend is fat but won’t dare share this information with her.  The study also suggested that the truth was a big “no no” because 1 in 5 women ended the relationship post dishing the info. Now, this seems a little extreme. You mean to tell me relationships end because your BFF tells you to put down the bread stick? Read More »

Ah, the new relationship. A time to learn everything about one another, to cuddle (a lot), to hold hands whenever you can, to have lots and lots of sex…

And, apparently, to ditch your friends.

You know, those people who have been there for you for years through every messy sitch you get yourself into. The people who you used to spend every day with and told everything to. The people you once lived with, but now only visit when you need to grab something out of your closet.

Yeah. Those people.

Did I miss something here? Was there some sort of memo that says it’s okay to ignore your friends when you’re in a relationship so you can only focus on your new guy? Is it possible it went to my SPAM folder? Because I didn’t get that and now I’m wondering why my BFF just traded me in for a BF.

Let me just say one thing: I have nothing against relationships, especially the honeymoon stage – everyone knows that’s the best part. And I can completely understand pushing your friends aside a little bit to be with your boy a little more in the beginning. It’s normal, and happens with almost anyone. But what is not normal is girl who completely ditches her best friends the entire time she is in a relationship and then comes crawling back, usually with no apology, the second it’s over. Read More »

I’m a senior in college, single, loving it, and have just as many girlfriends as random sexual escapades (almost). So maybe I’m not having as much consistent sex as I’d like, but I am still getting my fill of lovin.

I am absolutely in love with my girlfriends.

I feel more fulfilled from my friend relationships than I’ve ever had from boyfriends. Maybe that’s not saying too much about my ex’s, but the power of the female friendship amazes me, especially in college.

In high school, I used to be a boyfriend-girl (you know the type). Although I tried to split time between the BF and the BFFs, I definitely ended up sacrificing girl time for the boyfriend. But now, after staying single in college, I never have to make the sacrifice of feeling lonely just because I don’t have a boyfriend. I actually feel more loved, supported, and celebrated through my friends. Read More »