College brings a whole lot of new experiences, new lessons and new people. New people means new friends, right? Yeah, most of the time. But there’s a special assortment of people that you can find on any street, on any campus, in any city in the country. It doesn’t matter where you go – you have met these people before.

Like the Bible Chucker…

Ah, the caf, where you can “all you can eat” to your heart’s content (and waistline’s dismay). Also where you can find out that you’re going to Hell. Yep, nine times out of ten, this is where you will experience The Religious Fanatic. Not just a Bible thumper, but more like a Bible chucker. Yeah, no thumping for them. They throw it at you. Hard.

Far more judgmental than grandma could ever think about being (at least she’ll make you a pie after), this guy has everybody labeled a severe sinner. He’s easy to recognize as he is the only one dressed in a suit despite the fact that it may just be 80 plus degrees outside. If that doesn’t tip you off, perhaps the stack of “How To Live” pamphlets in his hand or the giant poster that says “Smoking Kills” with a stereotypical picture of Hell on it helps. Or maybe the fact that he’s old and bearded? It’s not like he’s trying to hide. He wants sinners to go to Hell and he has no problem letting you know (by screaming into a megaphone) as you attempt to scarf down that fro yo.

He sort of reminds you of the people who stood on street corners back in the day, preaching about the different religions. Only, he’s all about the hellfire and brimstone and not so much about the nice salvation part. Read More »

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I love my Mom. I really do. She reads this site periodically so I REALLY LOVE HER…but, there are lots of ways in which we’re different. I won’t grow up to be like her. It’s just not possible. We’re not alike. I mean it. We’re not.

…But then of course, I think about it, and realize there are ways I am slowly turning into my mother – even though I basically made a blood pact with myself such a thing would never happen.

5) I talk to the TV / movie screen

To this day, one of the most annoying things my mom can do in my presence is talk through a TV show or movie. Either she’s explaining to the room how stupid something is, or she’s asking questions that she wouldn’t have to ask if she would just LISTEN in the first place (“what’s happening here? Why is he like that?”). We have gotten into huge, giant fights about this habit of hers, and the one time I told her to be quiet in a rather nasty tone she got so pissed I thought she was going to set me on fire.

So yeah, I hate this habit of hers when she’s around, but when I’m alone or with friends…I freaking do the exact same thing. I don’t understand it. It’s like I’m compelled to slip snarky comments into the dialogue everyone’s trying so hard to hear. It’s horrible. I can’t stop.

4) I shop at Ann Taylor

When I was younger, and my mom would bring me to the mall, we’d always have to walk inside this bevy of sensible dresses and cashmere cardigans. The pastels would immediately make me feel like I needed to take a nap, and even my mother’s excited yelps of, “they have petites!” could not convince me to spend money there.

However, just the other day, I found myself drawn to the windows of this store, and then pulled inside, by the very same cardigans that used to make me want to vomit boredom. Plus…they have petites. Read More »