When I thought about what I wanted to do for my one-month challenge, so many things came to mind: I could go on a social media diet, I could go on a vegan diet, a debt diet… and on and on it went until I decided I wanted to do something out of the box (and not including the word diet). My birthday is coming up this month (ten days! Woop!) and for the past year, I realized not much has changed. I’m sort of in a rut; in a routine of sorts. I wake up with the intention of working out but hit snooze, go to work, work out, watch bad reality TV, spend too much time on Facebook, go to bed, repeat. It’s boring, yes, but it’s comfortable. And like that sweatshirt I have from freshman year that I still won’t part with, comfortable is sometimes a lot easier and more convenient than the other option.

So to shake things up a bit, I decided this month would be all about living outside my box, confronting my fears and living outside of my comfort zone. I have a list a mile long of things I want to be bold and daring enough to do – some big and some not so big – and I’m sure as the month goes on, things will just pop up forcing me to be uncomfortable for a bit but happier in the long run. I’m hoping facing my fears will get me out of this sticky spot I’m in and force me to embrace the world with some new gusto.

And this week I started small. Very, very small. To you this may not sound scary or uncomfortable at all, but to me it was one large step for mankind. Well for me-kind, and I’ll take it.

This week, I faced my over-the-top, irrational fear of spiders and killed a spider on my window sill all by myself. I contemplated calling my doorman to take care of it, but the humiliation stopped me. Well, that and the fact that I had just promised myself I’d face my fears head on.

Let me clarify: this spider was teeny tiny, but at the very site of it in my bedroom I started squealing like a 10-year-old at a Justin Beiber concert (or a 25-year-old at a Backstreet Boys concert, cough cough). I started pacing around my room and realized I had two options:

1) Leave for work and let the spider be. But what if it crawled over to my bed? And multiplied by a million? And then I would come home from work to a bed FULL of spiders? (This was actually my thought process – clearly this option was no option at all.)
2) Take the challenge, face the fear and kill the itsy bitsy spider who came down the damn water spout (or wherever he came from… What a ridiculous song anyway).

So option two won and with almost an entire roll of toilet paper in my hand, I squealed and screamed as I reached for that spider. But just as I thought I had it, it scurried away (the nerve! Didn’t he realize I was facing a crazy fear here?) and I panicked. Sweat was dripping down my face, I was having heart palpitations and called my mom to yell at her for child abandonment for not being here to kill the spider for me. She didn’t pick up.

So, with no other choice, I took slightly less toilet paper and had at that spider again, this time successfully grabbing it, screaming from my bedroom to my bathroom as I flushed that bad boy down the toilet. Once it was gone, I looked in the mirror, smiled and did a little “go me!” dance in my bathroom.

I still can’t believe I did it!! I can’t tell you how liberated and awesome I feel. I know, it seems so insignificant, but it’s majorly significant for me. And it’s not to say that if a huge spider were to come crawling across my carpet right now (god forbid) I wouldn’t freak out or hesitate, but at least I know I CAN handle it. And if I can muster up the courage to take on that mega fear, who knows what else I can accomplish this month.

I guess we’ll find out. I’ve got a long month ahead of me and I’m excited (and totally scared) to see what’s coming. Join me in shaking things up a bit and share the fears you’re going to tackle in the comments below!

I remember when I was finishing my senior year. I developed a paralyzing fear that would wake me up in the middle of the night (even after wine pong night when NOTHING should wake you up). For the first time in my life I had no idea what was coming next, where I’d be, what I’d be doing, or who I’d be doing it with. And if that isn’t enough to make you crap your pants, well, you’ve got nerves of steel.

Of course, now different things scare me. Like Guidos, my parents finding my “list,” and people with tracheotomy holes (OMG I just Googled that for spell-checking purposes and nearly barfed), but thinking back to that point in my life still, to this day, gives me pangs of anxiety. Some CollegeCandy writers are at that point, so in an effort to get everyone thinking of something besides the bleak economy and leaving the best 4 years of their life behind, I asked everyone to share their biggest fears this week. And – BONUS! – I got some dedicated CollegeCandy readers to share too!

Ricki – University of Michigan: My biggest fear is spiders.  I always have to check the ceilings before I go to bed, just in case.

Rachael – University of Miami: My biggest fears are losing people I love, truly being alone, failure (aka living in my home town forever). Oh, and snakes – I can’t stand snakes. *Shudder*

Andi – Drake University: Getting a paper cut on my eyeball, and having someone throw-up on me. [A CC reader! Submitted via Twitter]

Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: Rejection and hydroplaning.

Meg – University of Delaware: Getting divorced or something happening to my family. Family matters more than anything to me so anything that could happen to possibly affect them would be my biggest fear.

Sammie – Fordham: Sharks eating me.  Not sharks in general, they seem pretty cool, but specifically sharks actively eating me.  That would suck.

Emily – Central College: That I’ll end up alone forever. I seriously think being the crazy cat lady runs in my family. [Via Twitter.]

Kari – Florida State: I’m terrified that my recent nightmares will come true and I’ll wake up tomorrow to find that it’s the day of the LSAT and I still can’t figure out what the hell analytical reasoning questions are talking about.

Jackelyn – San Francisco State University: Besides never finding a gorgeous guitar-playing guy who will love me forever and unconditionally and put up with my crazy life?!!! That would have to be all bugs.

Sara C – Fordham: Don’t even laugh, but my biggest fear is vomit. I will literally cry and hyperventilate if someone barfs near me. My parents used to think I was “being a baby” about it, but it turns out it’s a real phobia (emetophobia) whose sufferers can even prevent themselves from getting sick. That probably explains why I’ve only “visited vom.com” three times in my whole life.

Brithny – Duke: At the rate I’m going, with college tuition and my tendencies to buy overpriced shoes and coffee, I’m afraid I’ll be spending my first ten years into adulthood in debt. Really looking forward to sleeping in a box.

Samantha – UCSB: That at some point the “what’s next?” will be death. Seriously, after a career, marriage, kids, kids’ kids…then what!?

Lauren – Saginaw Valley State University: I have this really horrible fear of construction paper. I hate touching it, but even seeing it makes my skin crawl like a meth addict’s. Sigh, I could never become a kindergarten teacher. [Another fabulous CC reader and Facebook fan!]

Alex – Lakehead University: Biggest fear = failure. Classic perfectionist. I wish I could get over it!

Sarabeth –  University of Texas: My biggest fear is moving out to LA after I graduate, only to fail completely at film and have to move back to Texas.

Kelly – University of Iowa: Bad hair days. I will take a second shower if my bangs aren’t laying the right way.

Melanie – Northeastern University: My biggest fear? Bees. And belly revealing shirts making a comeback.

Kaitlyn – Middle Tennessee State University: I have a horrible fear of the dark. Not necessarily of the dark itself, but of what can lurk in the dark. It’s just the idea that you feel so totally alone and isolated in the little bubble of area you can see through in the dark, but past that there is always the possibility that something is creeping around and watching you…waiting to pounce. [Reader and loyal Facebook Fan.]

Nina – Michigan State University: That Glee will become less entertaining as the season goes on, if this week was any indication. Regardless, I will be sitting through every episode (for Finn’s sake, of course).

Cristina – Michigan State: Being called out on a mistake I made in front of a big group of people – board meetings, party, family dinners, etc.  Don’t scold me when I’m rolling 0 deep, yo.

I know what I’m asking for this Christmas! Lord knows I need some practice before my real cat lady days set in. Sigh.

Must buy cats.

And then fear washes over us as we realize that we might one day become this woman. God save us.