Bill Clinton’s still got it.

Find those hidden calories and beat ‘em.

Lady Gaga and Beyonce sweep VMA nominations.

But Brit is close behind!

Is this the future of hip hop?

10 secrets men are keeping from us.

Did you know that August was originally named Sextilis? In ancient times there seemed to be pretty high expectations for this month. But throughout history August has gained a bad reputation for being the most unfortunate month of the year. It’s the only month without a major national holiday, the month when WWI started, the month when atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the month when Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe died.

At least Scotland has the Edinburgh Festival; here in the States, August is the month where summer days go to die, and when poor little children have to put down their toys and go back to school.

BUT, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be all bad; we’re just going to make the best of it. And it’s really not hard. There’s lots goin’ on in August.  Like cheese? It’s National Goat Cheese Month. Wanna be like Tiger Woods? National Golf Month. Starting your own business? Home Business Month and National Inventors Month. August doesn’t have to be all bad.

Aug 1- MTV Debuted
On this day in 1981, music videos found their home on the instantly-popular, new music channel: MTV. As you know, they’ve expanded now to not only include music (or, should I say, not include music at all), but reality shows as well. Get your 15 seconds (or an entire season) of fame by being on the Real World, which is casting right now! Or if the 24/7 camera-in-the-face non-stop-drama lifestyle doesn’t appeal to you, then apply for Made or True Life, both of which have considerably less screaming and flashing.

Aug 2 – National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
Ok, these may not be in sandwich form, but custom-made, mix-your-own ice cream?! I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM.

Aug 12- Middle Children’s Day (who knew it existed? And does this mean us middle kids can finally get the love and attention we deserve?!) Read More »

Have you always aspired to be a politician, but didn’t know how to break into the political arena? Want to perfect that resume before you make the big move to Washington, D.C.? Looking to gain the experience needed to be one of our country’s fearless leaders?

Well, these days, getting into politics is easy. Real easy. All you have to do is follow these simple steps, and you’ll be on your way to public office in no time!

-    Get a group of your friends together and start up a massive money-laundering scheme on campus. It’ll look great on your resume, especially if you want to run for office in New Jersey!

-    Head to Argentina on your spring break and find yourself a local to hook up with. Oh, but be sure not to tell your current BF that you’re heading outta town. Mark Sanford did it; it seems voters like a sensitive person who isn’t afraid to show emotion.

-    Resign from your position as secretary of your school’s student government before your term is up in order to pursue a presidential bid. Hey, it’s working for Sarah Palin; the (gotcha) media circus around her is just what every politician wants. If you can get the campus paper on your tail, you’re golden!

-    Got a single room? That’ll come in handy for a career-boosting sex scandal. Set up a tripod or offer your RA money for booty. It worked like a charm for President Bill Clinton, former New York governor Eliot Spitzer, and former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey, so it should be a shoe-in for your future political career. Read More »

Graduation may be an exciting milestone, but the ceremony itself is far from memorable for most people. Not only is sitting in a cap and gown for three straight hours uncomfortable (especially when it’s hot and that itchy rayon is rubbing against your neck), but the speeches are boring… and they go on forever. Oh, and leaving college is incredibly depressing.

But that whole “boring speech” thing isn’t the case for some lucky graduating classes. Yes, there are a select few schools in this country that had some pretty bomb diggity commencement speakers this year. Speakers who make me sorta wish I could sit through a three hour ceremony getting a weird tanline on my forehead from that ridiculous cap I’d be forced to wear.

Below is a list of the most bad ass commencement speakers of 2009. See, it’s not so bad being the class of ‘09! Read More »

The hits keep coming for Micheal Phelps (haha hits- get it?), who has been suspended from competition for three months by USA swimming after his run-in with a bong.

I may be alone here, or I may not,  but give the kid a break. He won like, what, eight-zillion medals (give or take) for us ; if he wants to celebrate with a little pot, let the man celebrate! Yes marijuana is illegal, and yes he is a role model to millions, but you know what? Role models have to unwind too!  Not to mention the fact that it could have been alot worse. There was no DUI, no snorting coke in the bathroom, no gay hookers or pornography scandals…

He got stoned. And drank some beer. At a college.

Visit any dorm in America on a Friday night and tell me if you find anything different.

But what bothers me most is that he didn’t violate any rule! There is no rule saying what he can and cannot do in his off-time. The only reason he is being punished is because A) he has to be or his sponsors/league will look bad, and B) he supposedly disappointed so many people. I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, everyone I talked to about the situation wasn’t disappointed (including my professor, just in case anyone wants to say I hang out with a bunch of young, irresposible pot-heads). In fact, we were all a little proud; he smokes pot AND broke world records? He can obviously keep his work life separate from his personal life and hasn’t let one effect the other thus far. Good for him. Read More »

Dear President Barack Obama,

I know you’re just moments away from being inaugurated, but in my opinion, the Bush era has been dead for awhile now, and you have been the prez since the results were announced. I figured out how to fill out an absentee ballot for you, Mr. Obama, and I can’t even handle bills that come in paper statements, so that’s saying something. The day you were elected, Mr. Obama, my roommate and I screamed and jumped up and down on our futon like we’d just watched a really hot episode of Gossip Girl. One of my friends from the bloody United Kingdom texted me to congratulate me on our country’s finally making a good decision, even though it was about 4 a.m. in his time zone.

There’s a lot riding on your presidency, Mr. Obama, and while I have enough faith in you to fill out that freaking absentee ballot, I would also like to give you some tips, so you take the same downtrodden path that so many of our past leaders have taken. Read More »

I had cold pizza for lunch. Alone. Barack Obama’s lunch was a little more exciting.

What does Brad Pitt have to say about Jennifer?

Uh oh. Another Salmonella outbreak…

Why do we love the bad boys?

Obama chooses Chief Performance Officer.

Biggest Loser Michelle is engaged. What? He didn’t love her before she lost all the weight?

Lily Vanderwoodson (Ok, Kelly Rutherford) is headed to Splitsville.

Better get the Nair ready – short shorts are coming!

Isla Fisher looking fantastic on cover of In Style.

Howard Stern vs. Jay Leno: The Battle is On.

Was Ashley Tisdale even alive when this stuff was in fashion?!

It’s always Halloween at Michael Jackson’s house.

Cheating could kill you. Really.

False eyelashes are fabulous (and not as difficult as you think!).

Gwen Stefani and baby Zuma. So. cute.

The Humane Society should have something to say about this, right?

Linda Hogan is creepy.

How to use Wikipedia intelligently.

Learn what you are really craving.

Croc bags that even you can afford.

Budget friendly (dorm) decorating!

Bill Clinton supports Barack Obama.

Since my surgery last week (I’ll spare you the details, but it sucked. SUCKED), I haven’t been doing a lot besides popping pain pills and watching TV. I’ve watched so much TV in the last 9 days that I’m seeing not just repeats, but thrice-peats, on every single channel.

Because nighttime is the worst, I tend to be unable to move enough to even change the channel, thus rendering me helpless to my parents’ whims and the oddness this Nation televises every four years: The Democratic Convention.

Politics often mystify me, even though I try to learn as much as I can from a few different outlets, so I was prepared to feel stupid in the wake of so much government and strategy mumbo jumbo (plus, I was taking a lot of pain meds the last three nights…they make the world seem complicated). But instead of feeling like a lame invalid who knows nothing, I felt something stronger rising up in my chest (and no it was not barf) — I felt laughter. Incredulous laughter at the sheer ridiculous of this political phenomenon.

If you haven’t caught the Convention yet — and you really should because stupid or not it is history — let me break down how most of the speeches go:

Democrat (usually a Senator, Senator’s wife, or, if it was last night, the Vice Presidential nominee): I am proud (applause) of being a Democrat (GIANT APPLAUSE) and thanks to all of you (applause) for being such damn good human beings (applause) and believing that this country has turned to sh*t under Republican rule! (GIANT APPLAUSE). Barak (applause) Obama (APPLAUSE) is our future (Applause lasting 5 minutes) and John McCain (boos) loves Bush (GIANT BOOS) and is old (applause) and wants to stay in the old way of thinking. (boos) YES BARAK OBAMA!! (Giant applause and shot of Bill Clinton with his mouth open) Read More »

As voters in South Dakota and Montana finish voting tonight in the last democratic primary of the election, “Hillary Clinton: Will She or Won’t She?” remains the question of the hour.

According to the LA Times blog “Top of the Ticket”, the 3 factoids seem to point towards the later.

Hmmmm…. Stay tuned for further updates.

7:01pm Sixteen superdelegates have announced their support for candidate Barack Obama including former President Jimmy Carter. Obama now only needs 10 delegates to clinch the nomination.

9:05 According to TV networks and Reuters, Barack Obama is set to claim the democratic nomination for the 2008 presidential election. He is merely 4 delegates short of the requisite 2,118 needed and is sure to pick these up from today’s primaries in Montana and South Dakota. The democratic primaries award delegates on a proportional basis.

9:15 In South Dakota, with 14% of the precincts reporting Hillary Clinton leads Obama 8,349 votes to 6,704.

9:45Clinton is the projected winner in South Dakota with 31% of the precincts reporting.

10:00 In her victory speech, Senator Clinton praised her opponent for an extraordinary race but noticeably failed to concede his overall win. She told the crowd “I will be making no decisions tonight.

10:25 Obama addressed supporters in St. Paul Minnesota stating, “Tonight, I can stand before you and say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States.”

So, dear readers, the night is drawing to a close and lets face it, so is the democratic primary. The next few days are sure to be full of debates as to just when and how Clinton lost her front-runner status to a newcomer from Chicago but for now lets savor the moment.

Congrats Obama!!!