Exploring all the pop cultural guilty pleasures, memorable products and people, disgraces and debuts, fads and fashions, scandals and sensations.

With clever and over-animated comedians dissecting and reflecting on everything from metrosexuals to Dance Dance Revolution to Sudoku, you can’t help but giggle at the off the wall and politically incorrect observations. In honor of the show, I decided to take a yummy walk down pop-culture memory lane from 2000-2004. Here are some of my personal favorite memories from the new millennium…and the ones I despise.

New Millennium Favs:

Napster- The inspiring illegal innovation that started it all. Thank you, Shawn Fanning, for changing the musical and digital landscape.

Uggs- I don’t care how hideous they are and how far-gone the trend is, these babies keep my tootsies toasty on the way to class or, if I’m feeling really lazy, at the bar.

Crazy astronaut lady- The mildly-disturbed NASA astronaut reaffirmed my faith in equal opportunity insanity by proving that not just us common folk, but also those blessed with insanely high IQ’s, can go absolutely bonkers and lose their marbles.

Tivo & DVR- Oh, how sweet it is.

Zoolander- This brilliant satirical Ben Stiller flick poked fun at male models, the fashion industry, and most importantly, gave us ‘Blue Steel’.

iPod- What exactly did we do before these magical pocket-sized miracles? Does anyone remember the Discman? I rest my case.

Harry Potter- I’ve never read the books nor seen the movies, but anything that gets kids excited about reading is kick-ass.

New Millennium Not-So-Favs:

Fauxhawk- Along with popped collars and trucker hats. Please…no more.

The rise of Bill O’Reilly- Radically right wing, this guy always reminds me of someone’s delusional, deranged grandpa, spurting and mumbling nonsensical absurdities and ranting about the downfall of society.

Janet’s Boob Pop- The drama surrounding the infamous areola accident was overblown and nauseating. Seriously, can everyone please get over nipple spillage incidents? (Editor’s Note: We have much larger word issues to worry about…like the rise in vagina flashing, lately!) Fifty percent of the world population has a set of female breasts; let’s not be fourth graders about this.

“Wazzzup” commercial- This commercial was amusing for about five seconds — before every frat boy, soccer mom and middle-aged business man drove it straight into the ground.

Big Mouth Billy Bass, The Singing Fish- Much like a hungover person awakes to question and regret their behavior the previous evening, I can only hope that the millions of people who bought this highly annoying novelty product soon came to their senses and tossed that fish back to sea (sorry, couldn’t resist).

“I’m Rick James, bitch”- Though I was a huge fan of the Dave Chappelle show (before he lost his mind and moved to Africa), this overused Chappelle-ism became a part of our daily lexicon and managed to become one of those uber-annoying catch phrases.

Clay Aiken & William Hung- I don’t get it. I’ve never gotten it. And I want it to go away.

Through a complication that seems to be either really good or really bad for Hillary at all times…her husband was president. Therefore, we likely already have an established opinion of him. And, by default, unfortunately, many people will not be voting for Hillary simply because of their views of Bill.

So if we are going to put such a heavy emphasis on the spouses of the candidates, we should all know a lot more about Michelle.

HER HISTORY

Michelle is American. She was raised in Chicago and went on to study at Princeton University and then attended Harvard Law School. She went back to Chicago to work as a lawyer when she completed her education.

Okay. So far, so good. The chic is smart. She even skipped second grade.

HOW’D THEY HOOK UP?

Michelle and Barack both stood out at the law firm where they were working in Chicago. They were the only African Americans at the firm. She was initially mentoring HIM when they met. So if you’ve got any questions as to whether or not Barack takes advice from Michelle…I think that’s pretty evident considering that their relationship has been built on that atmosphere.

WHAT IS SHE LIKE?

Well, clearly, she’s very intelligent. She speaks eloquently, but there is no questioning her sense of humor. In fact, Michelle was being so sarcastic in the beginning of Barack’s campaign that she had to tone it down due to the fact that picking up on sarcasm requires a portion of a brain…and not everyone in this country has that.

The good news is that she seems pretty sound, reasonable, and passionate about the future of this country. The bad news is that a candidate is always campaigning with their spouse, and god bless the hearts of those who are single and aspire for a career in politics.

There has always been this unsafe stigma attached to the concept of a politician NOT attached romantically. Thus far, this country has seen only one bachelor president: James Buchanan.

Do we ever simply vote for the candidate him or herself? Also, what do YOU think of Michelle? We all know what Mr. O’Reilly thinks of her, and some people are even comparing her with Jackie O…

Bill O’Reilly is either A) slightly insane or B) obsessed with saying things in front of a camera to get a reaction or C) both.

Last week, O’Reilly, with the help of “Fox crime analyst” Rod Wheeler, unearthed a supposed growing trend of Lesbian gangs who are apparently attacking men and sexually molesting young girls all over the United States.

“It’s a national underground network, if you will, Bill” Wheeler explained to the No Spin host, “of women who are lesbians.”

Two of these major groups evidently call themselves GTO (Gays Taking Over) and DTO (Dykes Taking Over), and aside from having no creativity when it comes to names, have a penchant for carrying “pink pistols” and forcing youths into their homosexual lifestyle.

Instead of questioning the facts and evidence of Mr. Rod “Completely Fabricated Story” Wheeler, O’Reilly agrees with everything he says, going so far as to suggest that “it makes sense…if you had lawless gay people, they would do this kind of thing.”

Yes, Bill. Lawless gay people would do this kind of thing. And you would know, you fantastic scholar of gay culture. Thank God you’re here to warn us.

…I’m going to go and lock my door now, in case any of my lesbian friends decide to stop over for a little pink pistol whipping.

As if it’s not hard enough to act nonchalant when a big beefy bouncer is inspecting your fakey out front of a bar, *cue bored yawn and a glance at your watch* (hopefully he doesn’t notice that the hologram’s actually the word VOID in comic sans), but how many times have you been ignored by a sales clerk, (Pretty Woman reminiscent) because you look too young to afford anything. Or even worse, on how many accounts have you been followed around a store because the workers suspect that, since you undoubtedly can’t afford anything, you’ll probably just steal it.

What about being taken seriously at a job interview? Even with your nicest black pumps and pencil lined skirt, some employers just seem to breeze through the process as though you’re undeniably a complete waste of their time. Sure, we’re always hearing about the infamous -isms: racism, sexism, classism, feminism (girl powa!) but rarely do we address ageism, a growing epidemic that affects you, me, and college girls everywhere.

Last week, high school student Jesse Lange (think a sixteen-year-old mix between Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, underage perfection to be exact) decided to do something about it. Appearing on Bill O’Reilly’s (aka I-have-a-stick-up-my-butt-mcgee’s) The O’Reilly Factor, Lange addressed the widespread criticism of Boulder High School’s sex education program after it had received much condemnation (O’Reilly’s included) for a ‘risque’ assembly that was held before the student body. The assembly was composed of four speakers who, according to O’Reilly, promoted drug use and declared condoms ‘unnecessary’.

Riiiiight. In other words, O’Dummy lazily skimmed the transcripts of the assembly and drew false assumptions from a couple remarks made, which becomes ever-so-obvious when Lange opens his mouth.

O’Reilly argues with the kid like he’d rather be getting a root canal. He casts him off as though having an opposing side in a debate is almost as useless as his Rogaine (which darn it, just doesn’t seem to be working!) This is until he gets schooled when Lange proves O’Reilly’s poorly-researched claims as one-hundo percent erroneous. This is the part where you can practically see O’Reilly pee his pants a little.

He begins shooting off about nothing relevant in an obvious desperate determination to tune out Lange’s intelligent, well-versed rebuttal. The best part is that Lange stays entirely composed as this greasy old fart proceeds to call him a pinhead, (I kid you not.) The whole debacle becomes ever more entertaining on account of the little boy on O’Reilly’s side who has nothing substantial to say besides, “My football coach says I’m right!”

Jesse Lange is just what this country needs to see right now, a young intelligent and assertive person who isn’t even old enough to vote yet. All we hear about is ‘kids today’ with their drugs and their probation, bad grades and incessant partying. If all this is so, then tell me why Lange, two years shy of legal, can turn this bald undeservedly-famous man to mush in a matter of seconds, right on your very own television screen. All I know is I sure as hell never had a boy that cute in my driver’s ed classes. (Seriously, watch the clip!)