Look, we all know that drunken stupidity is a problem on college campuses. And we all know that Universities are at risk of being held responsible if something were to go horribly wrong. So it makes sense that schools are constantly coming up with new ways to combat the binge drinking. Except some of their ideas are less than stellar.

The latest “brilliant” plan?

“Student carers,” AKA, sober monitors at The University of Cambridge. Basically, the university will be paying students over $100 a night to babysit a drunk student. You know, kind of like how your friends usually take care of you. Except you don’t get fined for being drunk (unless you consider waking up to find some horribly embarrassing drunk texts to be a fine), or have a stranger holding back your hair and judging you while you puke up the fried Oreos you ate because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

It sounds absurd because it is absurd.

We all get that drunk college kids are rowdy and downright obnoxious, but what is some sober sally going to do about it? Stroke their hair until they fall asleep? Force a water bottle and pieces of bread down their throat? What good would that do?

Although it would make for an epic reality TV show, it’s just not right. Not only are college students legal adults who can and should be able to take care of themselves, but this new “scheme” is taking the responsibility off the people who should be looking out for their friends! Now they’re free to – what? – go out and get even more hammered because the too-drunk kid is taken care of? Everyone knows the rule: you come in together you leave together. It’s not: you go in together, I call a babysitter when you get too drunk, then I go home with the hottie from our social science class.

If the University of Cambridge has such a problem with binge drinking, maybe they should try to prevent the cause instead of trying to clean up the effects.

So tell us what you guys think: could this work? Would you want to be a Student Carer? Would you want to be cared for by one?

Blame it on the M-M-M-M-M-Miley

So apparently drinking and doings drugs is cool again.

At least that’s what our friends over at Jezebel are telling us the stats at Drugfree.org are telling them. 45% of high school students don’t see a “great risk” in heavy drinking. And 68% of those high school students have had their first drink by age 14. Additionally, since 2008 the use of marijuana is up from 32% to 39% and the use of ecstasy is up from 4% to 6%.

But let’s step back from the statistics for a minute an discuss the stuff behind the stats. For the first time in years substance abuse is once again on the rise and the real question on everyone’s mind has to be, why?

The director of strategy at Drugfree.org suggests budget cuts to prevention programs, the legalization of medicinal marijuana or even the stress of difficult economic times. But for me at least, these don’t seem like viable options.  I don’t think medicinal marijuana is behind this increase, nor do I think it’s the hard economic times. I mean, if teens don’t see the risk of binge drinking do you really think they see the ramifications of the stock market crash? And, honestly, I don’t think it’s the loss of prevention programs either. Teens today live in a world without limits. All the information they could ever want is at their fingertips. Pamphlets won’t tell them anything Google can’t.

Still though, that poses the question, what are the real reasons for this increase in drinking and drugs in the past few years?

The media, perhaps? We can’t ignore the fact that we live in a time when just about everyone is glorifying drinking and drugs. The pilot of Gossip Girl has a then sixteen year-old Blair and Serena sitting at a hotel bar sipping martinis. In that very same episode, Chuck and Nate are stepping outside at a party to smoke some pot. The cast of The Jersey Shore dedicates their every night to binge drinking.  90210’s newest female lead has just started using marijuana, and that would be the second drug problem this teen soap showcases. And let’s not forget the Glee episode. So if high school students are more comfortable than ever with drugs and alcohol do we really have to ask why?

But then again we can’t ignore the peer pressure factor. It’s perfectly clear that the media portrays drug and alcohol abuse as the cool thing to be doing. So is this just something that teens are doing to look cool in front of their friends? Or are they even really doing it? Is it possible that they’re exaggerating their exploits to feel cool? They know the risks but they don’t want to look like the odd man out so they exaggerate their exploits. Any frat boy can tell you how that works.

I don’t have a straight answer. And neither does Jezebel. Or Drugfree.org. But that doesn’t mean we can’t discuss the possibilities. So lay it on me, ladies. What do you think the reasons for this increase in substance abuse is? Is it the media? Peer pressure? Attempts to look cool, or just gross exaggerations?

"Cheers to spending an extra 40 minutes on a Spin bike this week!"

Let’s all have a “come to Jesus” (or in my case, Moses) moment here and get real for a minute. Have you ever really thought about how many calories you consume in a single night of fun?

We all know that drinking adds extra calories. I mean, how many times have we heard someone tell us “If you want to lose weight, cut out alcohol”? But let’s face it, for a lot of us, that is pretty much asking us to give up going to college.

So what do we do? We make up for our weekend activities by making cuts in our week day diets.  But much like we underestimate how many shoes we have in our closest when debating a new purchase of totally adorable must-have-them-now sparkly pumps, we also tend to underestimate how much we’re actually drinking/eating on the weekends. We factor in our estimated calories in a very sober state, often forgetting what happens when we transition from sober to, well, not so much.

– Are you thinking about all those extra beers you drank when everyone decided to play flip-cup?

– Do you think about the gallon of Gatorade you chugged after you downed nearly a bottle of tequila?

– Do you even remember the small pizza you ate when you got home…in bed… as your roommates force-fed you water?

Yes, we’ve all been there and we all know what it’s like to drink/eat more than we anticipated and then be frustrated when it shows in the scale the following week. So here is some drink for thought: If you don’t want to pack on the extra pounds in college, you gotta be realistic about how much you’re really going to drink/eat on your nights out and make up for those extra calories somewhere else during the week.

Let me break it all down for ya and offer some healthy ways to offset that “MOST EPIC SATURDAY NIGHT, EVER!”

No one likes a hot mess.  Okay, well that’s not exactly true.  We looove LocaLohan and anyone who has been an E! True Hollywood Story, but when it comes to college it’s best to leave the crazy work to the professionals.

This means your roommate doesn’t want to disrobe your unconscious body at 3 a.m., the girls down the hall don’t want to carry you naked into the shower, and you don’t want to clean up your vom from under the bed the following morning.  The first week of school is when you’ll be at your most susceptible to making such novice mistakes.  You’re new, you’ve yet to fall victim to the Freshman Fifteen, and the older guys are taking full notice of these facts.

Stay in your hallmates’ good graces and prevent the puke with these oh-so-simple drinking Dos and Don’ts…

Do Eat a Good Dinner
I get it, you want to stay fit.  That’s what the gym is for, not the salad bar before a night of hitting up the frat houses.  You won’t make it two cups of jungle juice into the night before feeling the need to call it quits if you’re entree was a handful of green beans.  (Except, let’s get real.  You won’t call it quits.  You’ll switch to beer and keep on drinkin’ til you’re hugging the toilet.)  Instead, eat the damn turkey sandwich.  And grab a side of fries, too.

Pregame in Moderation
Everyone knows “that” girl, and I bet you’ll get to know her pretty quickly, too.  She’s the girl who pounds shots at 8 p.m. and is passed out next to a trash basket while everyone else is adjusting their hair and getting ready to gallivant.  The guys won’t touch her for fear she’ll projectile on their classy posters and girls don’t want her booting on their boots.  It’s all right to know that girl, just don’t be that girl.

Mix and Mingle, Just Don’t Mix While You Mingle
Bottom line: pick a drink and stick to it.  If you love rum, then BYO and grab some Cokes off a willing dude.  If beer’s more your thing, know there will be kegs everywhere.  Like something a bit fruitier- frat house mystery mixes are delish and “hey baby, you can barely taste the booze.”  But beware not to do a taste test of all available liquids lest you become the human puke machine.

Know Your Limit
So you’re drunk.  Congratulations!  What now?  The party’s not over, and you don’t feel like going home.  Hell, you feel like dancing around that pole you spotted in the basement.  Before you do, take a quick reading:

1. Stand still.  Is the room spinning?
2. Can you feel your tongue?
3. How many times per minute do you flip your hair?

If you answered, “Omigod, how did I get on a boooooaaat!”, “Whyzmahmoutallnumb?”, and “Whatever.  So what if I have long flowing locks like Tyra Banks?”, then guess what kiddo – you’re dunzo.

Truth: all-nighters just got more fun.

Dearest CollegeCandy readers, I trust by now you’ve heard we’re big supporters of Boxed Wine Wednesday and Thirsty Thursdays. And Get Drunk For No Reason Saturdays….and Mondays.  You’ve seen our reports on the endless benefits of boozing.  Some of you have agreed with our debauched ways, while others balked that constant drinking is wrong.

Well hang on to your hats, ladies, because I’m about to make it oh-so right all over again.

A recently released Norwegian study shows that moderate consumption of wine is tied to higher scores on cognitive tests.  What’s that?  You’re not impressed?  Well I’m not finished.  That same study goes on to show that those who abstained entirely from drinking resulted in lower scores among females.

Still not done!

As luck would have it, getting wasted is also the key to success at work.  Mark Jeffries agreed with you naysayers and initially refrained from the ritual end of the day drinkathon with his coworkers.  Then, when the economy took a nose-dive, he was fired.

Upon looking back, Jeffries realized it was his polite decline of those bar invitations that probably helped escort him out the door of his office.  You see, he never created emotional bonds with fellow staff members.  The not-drinking hurt his shot at building a social niche for himself within the company.

And with that, I invite you to apply this theory to every area of your life.  Drink with classmates, drink with roommates, drink with people you’ve never met before….in the library…the night before finals.

Cheers!

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like free birth control! ) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

From Stanford to Florida State there are certain traditions that hold true in college across the country - homecoming, welcome week craziness, wearing flip flops in the shower, and getting up close and personal with your toilet after way too many shots on Friday night. College drinking has been a hot button issue for a long time, and there’s always been the question of who should step up and be responsible for it. Some recent reports have said that schools aren’t doing enough to curb excessive drinking – but should it be up to the schools?

On one side, colleges do have a responsibility toward their students’ health and that should at least include doing their best to distribute information and make policies that help keep students from chugging down the booze until it’s stomach-pump time. Also since many colleges are a major epicenter for the towns they’re in, often the school’s policies spill over into the surrounding communities, which in turn helps to curb the bingeing overall. And whether it’s fair or not, colleges are the only ones who really have jurisdiction in these kind of situations since it’s not a legal issue, so it has to be up to the schools to try and keep students (at least reasonably, sorta) sober.

But doesn’t the fact that it’s not a legal issue say something? As long as the students doing the power hours are of age, they are legally entitled to make their own decisions, even if those decisions might totally suck in the morning….or afternoon. There are also some pretty serious questions of how much schools can really do. Sure they can make policies about what students are allowed to do on school property, but they can’t control what happens off campus, and for colleges in bigger cities, they really can’t affect the way their community at large deals with alcohol. There’s also the really basic fact that a lot of schools depend on the social aspect of college life to attract students – that’s why every college list ever has a “party schools” section. If students choose to drink, it’s their business, and should we really expect colleges to jump in and try and force decisions on people who are supposed to be adults?

What do you think? Are schools falling down on the job of keeping their students safe? Or should they accept that drinking is just one of the time honored college traditions? What can really be done to keep drinking under control? And who should be in charge of it? Duke it out!

Think about the last time you got your buzz on.  Was it last night?  The night before?  This morning? I’d venture to say it probably was in the not-too-distant past.  While some scientists might be scratching their heads over this significant drinking gap, I can think up a few explanations for this post-university bender we find ourselves on.

Duh, the economy’s got us all depressed.
A lot of us are unemployed.  You may have a job working at Baby Gap, but that’s not a career.  The general lack of a 9 to 5 schedule means we’ve got more room for late nights out and hungover mornings.  And when you’re a twenty-something folding shirts or scooping ice cream all day, you often need a drink to soften the blow of “Is this my life?” moments.

Sometimes the booze is free.
If you’re living with your parents to save on rent, chances are you don’t have much money to spend on alcohol either.  You’ll never get those student loans paid off if you bankroll your friends at the bar, but invite them home and drink the good stuff courtesy of Dad’s liquor cabinet. When it’s just sitting there, how can you say no?

We miss frat parties and house parties and any other type of party you can think of.
Fact: The Center for Science in the Public interest says that 44% of college students are binge drinkers.  There’s a pretty good chance you were one, too.  But gone are the days of stumbling down the quad, vodka-filled Nalgene bottle in hand, as you struggled to keep your impromptu toga from showing too much boob.  In an effort to remember the good ol’ days, we continue the debauched tradition when we can (because dancing to “Tainted Love” is not the same when done sober).

We simply won’t be able to drink heavily for that much longer.
Fingers crossed, soon that college degree is going to land you on a sparkly career path that has you bringing in the big bucks.  Problem is, when you’re a responsible and driven employee, you can’t be hungover during conference calls and business lunches.  Might as well fit in as much partying as you can while you’re still able!

Now that you’ve graduated from fake IDs and sweet talking bouncers in college bars, I say go out there and mainline those Ketel and club sodas. Clearly liver abuse isn’t solely reserved for those still sleeping in extra-long twin beds.

As a Nittany Lion (and 2009/2010 #1 party school attendee) , I honestly couldn’t be happier. Penn State spent all of last year under strict scrutiny because of our Number 1 party school status. I’m sure there are plenty of PSU students talking about how as the new #3 school, we have “work to do,” but maybe they should remember the tragic incident that kicked off the 2009-2010 school year. The “pressure to live up” to these rankings caused one student his life. Sure, every freshman has those nights where they get a little too drunk, and as college students, we idealize these hysterical stories that we tell over Sunday brunch in the dining commons. But these rankings take those crazy nights to a whole new level and don’t only affect a person’s time spent in school, but much, much more.

When I chose to attend Penn State, I made the decision based on our incredible alumni association and the overall environment of Happy Valley. I wanted to be able to walk into a job interview and be proud. Penn State proud. I didn’t want the person sitting on the other side of the desk question whether or not I was capable of handling responsibilities because I went to a school known for beer bongs and keg stands. The authenticity of my GPA shouldn’t be under dispute. I worked my behind off during the week and I enjoy myself on weekends, like any other college student.

What frustrates me the most about the whole party school ranking is that it overshadows the other amazing things Penn State students are doing with their free time. We have one of the most active Greek systems nationwide. We raised $7.8 million dollars last year in our annual 46-hour dance marathon, the largest student-run philanthropy in the WORLD. Where is all the press for that?

I’m not saying Penn State doesn’t deserve these rankings. After all, we make up our own freaking holidays. I am up and ready to tailgate on a fall Saturday at 10 AM, even if kick-off is past sundown. And I’ve never been one to turn down a theme party. But there is a serious underage binge drinking problem at our university that has cost Penn State and downtown State College not only hundreds of thousands of dollars, but student lives.

Rankings from Princeton Review, College Humor, and Playboy make these problems seem like jokes to brag about when they are anything but. Partying is a huge part of the college lifestyle but do we really need an award for it?

Is it just me or does this sound like an absolutely terrible idea in the making?

One freshman Princeton student commented that, “The show is a wonderful idea, because I’ve found that a lot of outsiders think [Princeton students] are something we’re not.”

Now what is it these outsiders think you are? Intelligent? Studious? Fortunate?—And what would you like them to believe after watching the show? That Princeton students can underage binge drink just as hard as the public university next door? Or that they can have just as much emotionally-detached, unprotected sex?

I think their notorious scholarly, possibly “nerdy,” reputations are better than what is possible and likely to come in the future if this “insider look” at Princeton undergrad life actually makes it onto the tube. Obviously Princeton isn’t a major party school (that I’ve heard of) but it’s still college. I don’t think these students want all their hard work to be ruined by the portrayal of select students maintaining their 4.0 GPAs through excessive use of Adderall.

On the other hand, if students’ relationship with drugs, alcohol and sex isn’t displayed on the show well then there may be little reason to watch… Somehow, watching Ivy League students being Ivy League students seems about as interesting as sitting through a 2-hour Physics lecture. Which, surprisingly, isn’t that interesting at all.

What do you think? Could this be a positive way for Princeton students to break out of their “square” reputations… or just a recipe for disaster?

Once Thursday rolls around, college students are ready and raring to hit the juice and let loose. After spending countless hours primping and priming for a night out, you mix your first drinkie and your second, your third. You dance the night away to Rihanna and take advantage of the bar deals until you’ve lost count of the drinks you’ve had and you’re visiting your cupboards for some Easy Mac.

That is the great thing about a night out on the town: your worries wither away and nothing else matters but the party. But the worries will come back and sometimes, so will your dinner.

As April is Alcohol Awareness Month, we at College Candy thought it would be a vital time to point out some of the things you may not be thinking about between tossing back that Scooby Snack and hopping in the next game of flip cup.  When mission: have fun is the prominent factor on your mind, it is hard sometimes to remember the cost of tipping a few back.

We Drink a Lot of Cheeseburgers:
Did you know you have to walk the entire length of a football field to burn off the calories for one M&M? One! Now, consider this even further: what if you could compare how many cheeseburgers you drank last night?  Well you can, on an e-chug survey online. Through this survey you can document your drinking habits and find out how many cheeseburgers you “drink” in a given month.  After putting in my information (8 standard drinks a month) in one month, I drank 4 cheeseburgers. (And I was being conservative with  my estimates!) To burn that off? I would have to run 10-minute miles for 2 hours and 27 minutes.

We Drink a Lot of Money:
I spend about $20 dollars a week on drinks in college. How much is that in an entire year? That is $1,040.00. Um, whoa sister. You could have nearly 1,000 iTunes downloads, or a brand new Chanel purse, or you could travel! Don’t even get me started on how many phone bills I could have paid with that cash money.

We Drink a Lot of Sleep:
I know when I take part in a night of drinking, I wake up at the crack of dawn and can’t fall back asleep.  It is pretty safe to say alcohol and sleeping do not go as well together as Sunny and Cher. Or Jager and pizza. While alcohol decreases the time it takes to take to fall asleep (well, duh) it disrupts the second half of the sleep period. This totally makes sense, since a night after drinking I feel like I’m a terrible driver,  really unproductive, crabby, and exhausted.

We Drink a Lot…Alone:
It seems that I am a lone ranger in terms of drinking in America (I know this sounds bananas at first since in college-ville drinking is a favored activity). But, according to my e-chug survey, 77% of American women drink less than me in a typical week. Wait, what?   I consider myself to be a smart, and part-time alcohol consumer, I was vastly unaware that more than half the American population drinks less than me.  That is a huge reality check, considering I am budding into the job world.

We Drink a Lot of Time:
Quite literally, think of all the time spent drunk. Think of all the sober time you can spend with your friends, shopping (always productive), or trying out new restaurants.  Let’s say the average college student is drunk (and awake) at least 5 hours a week.  That is about 180 hours a year. Drunk. That is a lot of valuable time you could have been (I know it sounds nerdy) visiting museums, reading books for pleasure, or applying for awesome jobs. It’s pretty simple, getting wasted wastes a lot time.