Everyone knows that sex without a condom is better than with that thin latex lining. According to guys it “feels amazing” and is “probably the best thing on earth.” (Clearly, guys have never tried dipping pretzels into frosting….) But we also know that no matter how good it is, it isn’t good enough to risk getting pregnant and spending our days playing peek-a-boo instead of beer pong.

Enter the birth control pill.

Seems like the perfect fix. 99.9% effective (when taken correctly, ladies) and no annoying de-sensitizing barrier to get in the way of some good old fashioned sex. It is probably the best thing to be invented since the wheel (though I would argue the Oh-My-Bod is totally up there), so it always comes as a huge surprise to people when I say that I really truly hate taking the pill.

“WHAT? WHY? HOW??!” you ask. Here are my top 10 reasons:

1. Cravings: For the first few months that I was on the pill I felt like I was pregnant. All I wanted was cake, donuts, pickles and peanut butter (not together…always). I would attempt to stick to the diet – due to #2 – but it was hard to chow down on a salad when what I really wanted was an entire large pizza and a chocolate milkshake. And when I refused to give in, I would find myself dealing with a major #3.

2. Weight Gain: I gained 4 pounds in my first three weeks back on the pill. That is more weight per week than I gained my freshman year and at least then I had a built-in excuse. Now I find myself on the pill to avoid pregnancy, but instead end up looking pregnant. And nothing says “let’s have sex without a condom” like a big, fat belly.

3. Mood Swings: Ever see the movie Music and Lyrics? A cheesy, stupid, predictable romantic comedy. Unless, of course, you are me on the Pill and you find yourself sobbing uncontrollably towards the end when they finally get together. And then you go home and cry yourself to sleep because your TiVo cut off the end of American Idol and you have no idea who got cut.

4. My Stomach: See #2.

5. My Ass: See #2 and multiply it by two. That thing is getting huge!

6. My Thighs: Ditto.

7. The Money: I use the generic version of my pill to keep costs down, but it is still $15 bucks a month (and much higher for many students). And my man doesn’t have to pay a thing. Sometimes he feels bad about this and buys me candy to make up for it. Which, as you can imagine, only further adds to #2, 4, 5 and 6.

8. Pain: You know how your boobs get all sore about a week before your period? I feel that daily. All the time. Even when I’m wearing two sports bras on the treadmill. I want to cut them off.

9. My Ass: It really got huge.

10. My Thighs: They had to grow to support the giant ass that is perched so nicely above them.

I won’t stop taking the pill – mostly because I am deathly afraid of becoming a mom – but I have to hope that there is a better option out there, preferably one that doesn’t involve needles or procedures. Something has to give…I just hope it’s not the seam in my pants.

Gettin' some doesn't come cheap.

With the latest events surrounding Planned Parenthood, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much it costs to be responsibly sexually active. Birth control, condoms, PAP smears, STI tests, and Plan B — it adds up fast!

In Canada, the cost of medical tests are usually covered under our provincial health care. As far as birth control goes, my school’s health insurance plan covers the vast majority of the cost every month, leaving me to pay a tab that usually ends up anywhere between $3 and $5.

But for Americans without access to insurance or an institution like Planned Parenthood, the cost of having a healthy active sex life can be huge. Prices tend to vary from place to place, but according to the Planned Parenthood website, here are some ball-park figures of how expensive it is to get sexy:

Standard medical exam (needed in order to receive a BC prescription): $35-$250

The Pill: $15 – $50 per month

NuvaRing: $15 – $70 per month

Depo-Provera: $35 – $75 per injection (4 injections per year)

Ortho Evra (the patch): $15 – $70 per month

Birth Control Implant: $400 – $800, effective for up to 3 years

IUD — $500-$1000, implanted once and effective for up to 12 years

Condoms: Though you can often receive condoms for free from sexual health clinics, a 12-pack of condoms can cost anywhere from $5 to $15

Pregnancy Test: Up to $20

Plan-B (morning after pill): $10 – $70

PAP smears and STI Tests: Sliding scale depending on income and state

The bottom line is, this sh*t can get expensive, and having a place like Planned Parenthood or other sexual health clinics that take into consideration that we all might not have $50 a month to spend on birth control is very important.

And honestly, as expensive as it is to be responsibly sexual — even with places like PP giving a helping hand — it’s even more expensive to raise a child or treat an STI. (Just ask CC writer Donyae, a college student and mother.) So maybe you should put off buying those fancy shoes and instead invest in your sexual health. It’s worth it.

Question for La Tuff? Answers may be available at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. While supplies last. Void where prohibited.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost five months, and until recently, it has been amazing.  About a month and a half ago I began taking the pill – Loestrin 24 Fe – out of necessity.  The condom broke a few times and I had to take Plan B.  At first I was pleased with it.  My skin’s clearer, my hair (which had thinned in recent years) is thicker, and I haven’t had any weight gain.  There’s only one side effect.  But it’s a BIG one. I’ve been an emotional wreck. I’m crying on and off frequently and not am as talkative/friendly/outgoing.  In general, just not myself.

I know my boyfriend (and also my bff/roommate) sees a big difference and it’s definitely put a strain on things.  I get unreasonably upset if we have to cancel plans or can’t hang out.  I’ll get teary during a phone conversation and have no explanation for what’s wrong.  We used to have so much fun together but my change in personality has put a damper on things most of the time.  I’ve tried explaining my situation, and I know he tries to be understanding, but he just doesn’t know how to deal with me.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  Should I forgo the pill and go back to condoms or wait it out and see if the side effects subside?  I can’t imagine another pill having the same positive effects and no negative side effects.  Any advice is much appreciated, as the clock’s a-ticking and I don’t know how much longer he’ll be willing to put up with my shenanigans.

Please Help!!
BC Bitch

Dear BC Non-Bitch,

Before we talk about Lo-Lo and/or other birth control pills, let’s just quickly address your little condom issue.

Girl, why does the condom keep breaking? This is not good. Something is going wrong, yes?

Lots of people think they know how to use a condom but then find it’s often not staying on or that it’s ripping. If this is the case–YA DOIN IT WRONG. No big deal, though: Learning to use a condom effectively is simple. Check out this article from Planned Parenthood to make sure you’re using condoms correctly.

And, please, kids, let’s give a round of applause for BC Non-Bitch! She absolutely did the right thing: she used condoms (YES!!! You go, girl!!!) and then, when they failed, she sought out Plan B! Proud of you!!!

Okay, now let’s get to this birth control pill business. Loestrin 24 Fe is low-dosage and has a lot of nice little benefits, like the stuff you’ve noticed. According to the company’s Patient Prescribing Information, Loestrin 24 Fe can, in fact, cause both “nervousness” and “depression.” This is true of all birth control pills, because of the hormones involved, but different people have different levels of success with different pills.

The way I see it, you have three options:

(1) Wait until the end of the third month of taking it to see if your body will adjust. Tuffy does NOT recommend this option. That is a looooong time to wait, given the circumstances.

(2) Switch back to condoms. This, of course, would be after you and your boyf BOTH re-learn to use them, just to be safe. [By the way, you should STILL be using condoms if you're on birth control! You still want to be protected from diseases, right?!?!?!]

(3) Go back to your doctor and explain your symptoms. This is the option Tuffy highly recommends. You may just need a different pill.

Again, though, please use condoms in addition to any future birth control pill you take. The pill only prevents babies from being made; the condoms prevent the clap.

Also of note–be sure to never smoke while on any birth control pill. It’s very dangerous for your heart and overall health.

Good luck, girl!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

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We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: This is a really gross question, but I have to ask someone.

I discharge…a lot. And it’s not just around the time of my period. It’s random and plentiful. Ew. Anyways, I don’t know what to do about it or if it’s caused by something serious? Help. I’m afraid to be with a boy because he’ll be super grossed out.

A: This isn’t gross, sweetie. It’s your body, and discharge is a normal part of being a woman. But I wish I had more information. Is your discharge white, clear, or greenish? Does it have an odor- like fish or fresh bread- or is it odorless? Do you have any vaginal itching or burning? Is it there all the time, or just in the second half of your cycle? Have you been checked for sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) like gonorrhea and chlamydia?

Without knowing those answers, it’s hard for me to comment on your specific situation. If you haven’t seen a doctor about this issue, it’s time. Go in, let your gyno take a gander, and make sure you’re not missing something. Sometimes, an increase in vaginal discharge is the only sign we have that something’s going on down there.

But I’m going to assume that you’ve seen a doctor and that you don’t have a vaginal infection, STD, or abnormal pap smear.  If we’ve ruled those out, we’re left with the fact that every woman makes some vaginal discharge, and every woman is different. The amount of discharge your body makes depends on your own glands, your hormones, your anatomy, medications you might be taking such as birth control pills, and where you are in your cycle.

It’s common for your body to make more discharge at certain times of the cycle, as the menstrual cycle is under hormonal control, and those hormones can affect production of secretions. It’s also normal to make more discharge when you’re turned on – thus the wetness you feel when you’re sexually excited.  If you’re taking birth control pills, you may notice more discharge from the estrogen in the pill. Also, if your cervix happens to have the glands on the outside of the cervix instead of the inside (a normal variant we call ectropion), you may make more discharge.

If your doctor has told you you’re normal, there’s no need to worry. Trust me, guys will be so honored to be down there that they won’t be turned off by your discharge. In fact, some guys find a wet vagina to be even more stimulating. Some women have very dry vaginas and would die to have your problem.  It’s all part of accepting our bodies just as they are and  loving ourselves, secretions and all.

The clock has officially struck 5 (for us, at least…sorry West Coast), the booze is officially in hand, and we’re ready for the weekend! And, quite frankly, we deserve it. It’s been a busy week around here and we are really effing tired.

We learned what doesn’t mix well with alcohol, and that beer is really good for us!

We figured out why we can’t stop eating. (Though we still wonder why we can’t stop drinking…)

We spent a lot of time looking in the mirror; we are too narcissistic for anyone else to love us, after all.

We screamed at people for annoying us with their technology, and learned what is appropriate and what is not when it comes to using it.

We contemplated abstinence (sorta…), but only because we just do not want a baby and the birth control pill can kill us.

We tried to get our BF to cuddle with us by indulging his very naughty sexual fantasies.

Oh yeah. We also entered the CollegeCandy contest to see No Doubt for free.

And now we’re dunzo. And drinking. There is nothing quite like a delicious summer weekend. Especially when you know the cure for hangovers.

It’s been almost six months since I wrote to you all about my blood clot experience, and, let me tell you, has it been rough. I’ve gone through a lot of snags that I didn’t expect, but then again I didn’t expect to get a clot either.

I’ve spent the first half of 2009 looking like a heroin addict from all the blood tests I’ve gotten and a pill-poppin’ animal (thanks, Lil Wayne) from all the medications I’m taking. I can’t even count how many times I’ve told the story of what happened and answered countless questions. I particularly love the, “Aren’t you young?” question.

Yes, I’m young.
Does it mean I’m invincible? No.

The first few months were very difficult for me because I was still adjusting to the medication and trying to process the fact that I almost died. Coumadin, or Warfarin, is a blood thinner. I quickly found out that being on blood thinners makes you cold. Almost all the time. So walking to class was hard because I was freezing my little butt off. And don’t even try me on going to parties at night. Since my clot was bigger, it took a long time for it to disappear, which made it hard for me to breathe a lot of the time. Long walks across campus got me winded, and I couldn’t exercise. Pretty much, my whole love for being fit and athletic went out the window.

Along with my lack of exercise, my love for healthy foods like salad, broccoli, asparagus, basically anything green (yeah, kiwi too), was gone. Since foods that are green are rich in vitamin K, a blood thickening agent, I couldn’t eat them unless I did it consistently. I decided it was better not to eat them at all because my blood level was so hard to regulate in the first place.

While on Coumadin, they test your INR (international normalized ratio), which is a fancy way of telling how thick or thin your blood is. The margin is very small, and because I’m so young it made it much harder to get my blood to fall in the range and stay there. While the “average” person with a blood clot takes a few weeks to regulate, it took me about 4 months. I was getting blood tests two or three times a WEEK instead of once a month.

I’ve encountered several issues during this whole ordeal. I can’t be on the Pill ever again, which means I have to be extra careful (and, thankfully, my boyfriend has been great about that).  I’m currently debating my other birth control options. The Depo-Provera shot doesn’t have estrogen in it, but it still carries a slight risk for blood clots. I’m too young for an IUD, so I’m pretty much stuck with the shot or using a diaphragm or condoms.

Another issue is that I get sick… a lot. I’m prone to frequent bladder infections, colds and flu-type illnesses, and I tend to get migraines and headaches frequently.  Unfortunately, because meds affect the blood thinners, I can’t take anything. Think about trying to endure the flu without meds.  Welcome to my clotted life.

In thirteen days I will be of Coumadin and I am excited to celebrate with a salad and margaritas. Finally, I’ll be able to get back to some sort of normal life with vegetables and alcohol!  Not to mention I’ll have the tolerance of a five year old, and that is awesome.  I’m looking forward to not getting goosebumps when it’s 60 degrees outside and being able to walk around without feelings like I ran up ten flights of stairs.  I can’t wait to run into stuff and not immediately bruise, and for my veins to stop looking like I’ve been shooting up in some back alley on campus.

I can joke about the situation now having lived it, but I seriously want every single reader to know how serious a situation this is.  It can happen to anyone on birth control, especially you girls who like to light up. Whether you smoke like a chimney or you “socially” smoke (“I’m so drunk I need a cigarette”), it increases your risk for a clot.  I was lucky; had I not gone to the hospital or if I had been an hour late, I’d be dead.

Birth control has serious side effects like blood clots, strokes, and heart attacks.  Take the risks seriously and pay attention to your body!

Got a question for Tuffaleh? Got an itch you just can’t scratch?! Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m really in love with my boyfriend and we’ve been dating for almost a year now. He’s a great guy and I know he would never cheat on me. So I’ve decided to go on the pill and give up condoms. What’s the quickest pill to kick in? I am so sick of condoms. I’m not even kidding.

Thanks!

Val

Dear Val,

Okay, look. I say this because I care about your well-being, so please don’t take this personally. But:

Don’t be an idiot.

Condoms are absolutely essential and you should NOT stop using them just because you go on the pill. You got that? YOU GOT THAT?! Listen up, girls. The pill is enormously empowering to women because it gives us power over whether or not we give birth. Right? Well, the condom does that for you too, except instead of birth, insert one of the following: genital warts, the clap, HIV–the list goes on and on.

Bottom line: DO NOT STOP USING CONDOMS. First of all, you don’t know what your partner has. (PS you should both be tested, and insist on seeing each others’ results, and I’m not kidding. Better safe than sorry here, for sure.) Second of all, cheating happens. I’m sorry. It happens to the couples you expect it to happen to,  but it happens to the happiest of couples too. It’s horrible, but breaking up with someone after the fact doesn’t protect you from the diseases they already gave you. So please, girls, please, Val, please, everyone–ALWAYS use condoms.

That said, going on the pill is usually a great idea, as long as you’ve consulted with your doctor. You also, of course, should not smoke if you’re gonna take oral contraceptives. Very dangerous.

Planned Parenthood is an excellent resource for all of these things. You can check out what they have to say about birth control here. You can also go to your local PP for medical or counseling purposes. Check out that website – there’s a lot of important information. Also very useful for the uninsured.

I’d like to point you in the right direction about what kind of pill you should take, but I’m going to level with you, honey. Tuffy’s not a medical professional. Birth control is serious stuff and you need to talk to someone who can actually help you find what’s right for your body and lifestyle. Hell, you might find a better option is the patch, or the NuvaRing, or even the Depo-Provera shot.

But even if I’m not a doc, I do know one thing: DO NOT STOP USING CONDOMS.

Hearts & Condoms Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Now I like a man who comes prepared. Like a Boy Scout (only without the weird uniform…or maybe that could be fun). I mean, I’m not going to carry condoms around in my purse; women supply the birth control pill, so it’s up to the dude to bring the rubbers. At least that’s my feeling on the sitch. Besides, my going-out-bags barely have room for my camera, wallet and keys, let alone a box of Trojans.

The topic of birth control is one that comes up often in a relationship – long term or one night – so I wanted to see what the guys were thinking about it. Looks like we’re not the only ones freaking out about babies, ladies!

As college students, we pretty much think of ourselves as invincible, I know I certainly have. Until recently that is. I’ve been in car accidents, including one where my car hydroplaned off a cliff. I’ve drank myself to the point where I should have gone to the hospital. I’ve had my life threatened. But those things never quite hit me to the point where I realized I could have died.

On January 2nd, I woke up at 4:30 in the morning with a searing pain in my left lung and back. It felt like two cinderblocks were pushing on either side of me and every breath felt like a knife going through my lung. I have a low pain tolerance, but this was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I managed to walk to my parents’ room to wake them up as I was gasping for air. My mom helped me back into my room while my dad furiously researched the new medication my dermatologist put me on, convinced it was a side effect. I eventually fell back asleep, but when I woke up again I was greeted by pain that was even worse than before. My mom came in to check on me, and I told her I needed to go to the hospital.

In the emergency room, one of the doctors listened to my symptoms and said “I think you may have a blood clot in your lung.” What? A blood clot? In an 18-year old? I was so confused and scared; I immediately started bawling. They quickly took blood out of my left arm while putting an IV in the other, and I woke up in the middle of a CT-scan. They did ultrasounds on my legs to make sure there were no clots because that’s where most clots originate. About an hour later, another doctor came in and told me they did find a clot in my lung.

I was terrified.

A nurse came in to give me a shot in my stomach that would start to seal the clot to the wall of my vein so it couldn’t break apart or move to my heart. I called my boyfriend and my best friend not really knowing what to say, partly because I was on a massive amount of painkillers and partly because I thought I was going to die.

The doctors believe that my birth control caused the clot, but they are still running tests. I was shocked. I knew blood clots were a side effect of the pill, but they are so rare, especially in women under 30. I received a shot to the stomach twice a day along with various painkillers from morphine to percocet. I was also told I had to be on a medication called Coumadin, a blood thinner, for 6 months. This medication comes with a lot of rules and requires weekly blood tests to determine if my blood is too thin or not thin enough. Depending on that level, I have to adjust the dosage of Coumadin I take. I’ve been on it for a week and the dosage has changed three times. I can’t eat foods high in vitamin K like salad or broccoli, I can’t drink more than 2oz of alcohol.

I left the hospital on January 6 and was allowed to go back to school on the 8th. I got tired and short of breath, accompanied with a much less severe but still noticeable pain in my lung which would not go away for about 6 to 8 weeks according to the doctors. But I’m alive. If I didn’t go to the hospital, I would be dead right now. The clot would have made its way to my heart or my brain, and I would have died. As much as the situation bothers me, and I keep asking why this happened to me, I am so grateful that I’m still here. Things like this don’t happen to people my age, and if it does, it’s usually too late. You hear about the funeral, not the recovery.

I’m glad I can sit at my computer and share this story with you all because I don’t want any of you to go through what I did. I want you to be aware of what can happen, to recognize the symptoms, and realize that birth control and other medicines do have side effects.

If you feel a pain like that, don’t assume it’s something minor because it’s probably not. Your body tells you things, so listen to it.