Occasionally, despite my generally laissez-faire, non-judgmental attitude towards sex, there are a few things that perturb me. Rape, of course. Slut shaming. Abstinence-only sex education. And ignorance about contraception. One of the most disturbing manifestations of this that I’ve encountered are ladies who take the pill and have absolutely no idea what they’re putting into their bodies and how it works. Maybe it’s because the pill has become so normalized and routine, like popping Advil, so the complexity of it isn’t apparent, but I definitely feel that once you start playing with the hormones in your body, you need to know what’s up.

1. The pill tries to keep you free of pregnancy in four different ways.

It tries to stop an egg from leaving your ovary. Then, it makes your cervix produce more mucus so neither an egg or sperm can stick. The hormones also prevent the lining of your uterus (or potential womb) from getting thick enough for a fertilized egg to be viable. Finally, the pill manipulates the movement in your Fallopian tubes to prevent an egg from meeting a sperm in the first place. So, it’s a pretty complicated process, and every once in awhile, the pill fails to execute it properly, which is why most of us know, or know of, someone who has gotten pregnant while on the pill. Read More »

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Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m a senior in college and have been in a serious relationship for the past 5 years. He’s my high school sweetheart. I know, we’re so cute! We just got engaged and are getting married when I graduate (he’s two years older and is already working).

Now that we’re engaged, I want to go on birth control, but I’m not sure what to try. What do you recommend?

Thanks, Tuffy!

Engaged! Read More »

I was struck with complete disbelief after reading about a woman who, despite using multiple forms of birth control, keeps getting pregnant. Like, pregnant seven times in 5 years. Like, she and her husband only had sex three times since September and she’s currently expecting another kid. Did I mention she’s tried the Pill, condoms, injections and an IUD…and they still don’t work? Yeah, after the shock wore off, I came to the conclusion that this woman is full of it.

Was she really using condoms all this time? Or was she actually on the pill or had the shot? What are the odds after practicing every form of contraceptives known to man that NONE work on 23-year-old Gemma Potter? What causes her genetic makeup to be so incredibly different from most other females on earth? There is no sperm that strong and no contraceptive that weak. I think she might be yearning for some extra media attention or her husband might be slipping off that condom during hot and heavy lovemaking. I mean, hey, it’s in the heat of the moment, how could she ever tell?

Condoms and birth control have proven to be extremely effective to the greater public. As an adolescent teenager growing up, “safe sex is the best sex” is all I ever heard. If I remember correctly, I think there was an actual song to go with that slogan…but anyways that’s beside the point! The point is, everyone is taught to wear condoms or get on birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant! Those methods have been tested hundreds of times by well-educated doctors and scientists who know what they are doing. So the real question is, if she is not lying, she is not using contraceptives the right way. There is no way in Hell they could have failed her seven times in a row.

Let’s face it, after the first, second and third baby that came during her supposedly “protected” sex, what person in their right mind would rely on any other form of protection to work for them? Obviously the form of protection she’s using is being used incorrectly, so she needs to seek guidance on the matter.

If all else fails, the answer is quite simple actually. DON’T HAVE SEX AS MUCH or GET YOUR TUBES TIED! Potter complained about not having a real career or actually being able to go out and have a drink with her girlfriends because she is pregnant all the time. Do you want to ultimately be knocked up your whole life and therefore exist broke and friendless, or do you want your life back? The question is simple, Ms. Potter.

Ultimately, I recommend these two energizer bunnies go back to Sex Ed classes and learn the correct ways to practice safe sex, because they obviously missed the memo. I wish the two of them the best and a baby-free future. Good luck!

What do you think? Are these two really being careful and Ms. Potter is simply an ultra-fertile Myrtle? Are they missing a crucial step along the way when using condoms, the Pill or another method?

Maya is a freshman print journalism major attending Howard University in Washington D.C. She loves fashion, beauty, and all things glamorous. Follow her on tumblr at myprincessdiaryxoxo.tumblr.com or on twitter at @Mayaalena

This week, Bayer has been under fire with the Food and Drug Administration for its birth control pills Yaz, Yasmin, and Ocella. The pills in this family contain a synthetic hormone called drospirenone, which is being linked to the seventy-five percent increased chance of blood clots. Bayer went in front of the FDA and unfortunately, the FDA ended up voting 15-11 to keep the pills on the market. They did however vote “21-5 on Thursday that labeling on Bayer’s popular Yaz and similar birth control pills is inadequate and should be revised to better reflect the higher risk of blood clots associated with these drugs.” Some of the members of the panel voted yes because they feel there are women that do benefit from the drugs. Well, yeah I and many of the other women affected had benefits. And then we almost died.

After going through such a harrowing experience and reading about so many other women who’ve gone through the same thing, it’s tough to know they will stay on the market for now. The lawsuits are still ongoing, and I hope the women affected get some peace of mind and justice. If you don’t think it’s that common, check out some of the responses I got…

‘Tis the season to be jolly, to count thy blessings, and to make itemized lists of all the things you want. I used to wish for an easy bake oven, then Justin Timberlake’s hand in marriage, then an unlimited supply of Louboutins…oh, wait, I could still definitely go for that. In addition to a shoe closet to rival Mariah Carey’s (and world peace), I also wish for a shift in our collective sexual culture. We have all the potential to be sexually liberated, but we just won’t let ourselves — as a society — be that great. My ultimate five wishes are:

1. There would be free forms of birth control.

Unplanned pregnancy is awful. Abortion is not ideal. Luckily, there is this wonderful invention called contraception that would greatly decrease the occurrence of both. The reality of the situation is that people are going to have sex because it feels amazing, not always because they want to pop out babies, and our society needs to adjust to this and make contraception as accessible as possible. The risks of unprotected sex are far too great.

2.  Rape would never happen.

Without a doubt, rape and sexual assault are some of the most traumatizing experiences a person could ever endure, and it breaks my heart that 1 in 4 women will experience one or the other during her time in college. We live in a rape culture, where women are expected to always be available for sexual consumption and our language has stripped “rape” of its meaning (you did not rape your psychology final, okay?). In lieu of rape never happening, I would be over the moon if we could stop automatically jumping to the conclusion that all women who report rape are lying, conniving bitches who were totally asking for it because our skirts were short.

3. We could all be sluts, or prudes, and it wouldn’t be up for judgment. 

I don’t care if you’re saving yourself for marriage or for the next guy who buys you a shot, and no one else should either. As long as you’re being responsible, it’s all fair game.

4. Everyone who is sexually active would get tested regularly. 

Most STDs are not a big deal. They can be cleared up with antibiotics and are not any more disgusting than a cold or flu. If we could treat our sexual health like our dental or overall physical health, there would probably a lot less disease transmission, since people would be open about their status. Gonorrhea would be the new strep throat.

5. Everyone would have sex because they want to. 

There would be no having of sex because you feel peer pressure, or you desperately need validation, or because you were really, really, really wasted and you didn’t even know what you were doing for real. Sex should be fun. If it’s not, take a step back and re-evaluate. There’s nothing wrong with abstinence or celibacy.

Basically, I just want everyone to be sex-positive. What’s on your personal sexy wishlish? More orgasms? More kink? Less bad cunnilingus? I want to know!

Teen sex is all up in my Google Reader this week and not because the characters in Glee were getting it on.

The Centre for Disease Control and Prevention released new statistics that the U.S. teen birth rate is declining. Between 2009 and 2010 the rate dropped nine percent to a record low. It’s dropping not because less teens are having sex (it’s staying about the same), but because — surprise, surprise — because teens that are having sex have started using contraceptives. Read More »

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A few months ago, an old friend randomly texted me. We’d known each other for about eight or nine years – she was a former next door neighbor. People grow apart over time, but we’d still send each other the obligatory “are you still alive?” text every now and then. This go around, the conversation got a little serious.

We got on the topic of love…her love life and my lack thereof. She had a boyfriend that she’d been on and off with for a few years. The only “on and off” I had was my television.

“I’m having a baby girl in July,” she texted as the conversation waned.

I was mind blown. This girl who I basically grew up with was having a girl of her own?!

When I applied for my internship at The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy in D.C., I had my old friend in mind. I could’ve sent applications to the hundreds of newspapers and magazines in the DMV (D.C., Maryland, Virginia) area, but I wanted to do something that truly made a difference. Starbucks runs and fact checking could wait. Luckily, I’m working with Bedsider.org, a new online birth control support network that is informative, fun, and edgy enough to make a real difference. When I got the internship, I promised myself that I’d try to relay the Campaign’s message of prevention to my friends back home. Roughly 75 percent of my graduating class is married or they have a child. Isn’t that crazy?! Read More »

Few people actually want to be saddled with a kid at 18 (or 19 or 20 or…), but it can be tempting to play Russian roulette in the heat of the moment. But like, don’t forget…kids kinda suck. The spit and drool and cry and throw things and ruin your clothes and puke in your hair and try to cram their entire tiny bodies into your best handbag…

So if Teen Mom doesn’t convince you enough to play it safe, these photos should. Read More »