I’ve never liked my summer birthday. It’s June 30^th, smack dab in the middle of summer. In elementary school I never got the chance to bring in cookies or cupcakes to celebrate, nor did I ever get the chance to be “Student of the Day” and wear the special birthday crown.  In elementary school, that’s a BIG deal!  Because of this, my birthday was often forgotten by my classmates. Few could ever attend my birthday parties because usually my birthday fell on the weekend of July 4^th so most families were out of town celebrating Independence Day. It sucked, and mostly because that meant I received fewer presents. Not to sound spoiled, but little kids LOVE presents and I was always jealous of those with birthdays during the school year because they received a ton of gifts. (Mostly the same variation of the coolest Barbie doll, I might add!)

Now that I’m turning the big 2-0 this year and my teen years are behind me, I’ve learned to appreciate my summer birthday.  Not many kids can say that they don’t have to go to school on their birthday…well I never had to. Summer babies are blessed with the greatest gift of all—no school! Although that might mean no special birthday treats and balloons, summer babies never have to sit through hours of grueling lectures and boring teachers. And that may just be the greatest gift of all. Having a summer birthday also lets you escape, meaning those with summer birthdays can treat themselves to a nice vacay! It’s awesome to get the chance to celebrate your birthday in a new environment, somewhere so different and exciting from your hometown.  One year, I was cruising the Caribbean during my birthday, and that my friends is pretty darn cool—cooler than any birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to love my summer birthday. It allows me to do some pretty awesome things on my special day, like stay out late, be carefree with no commitments and maybe even go on a vacation. It’s pretty awesome. My only complaint about my summer birthday—all my friends will be 21 before me. Bummer!

[He Said/She Said is a series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

I remember the first time my mind was totally blown. One of my guy friends was turning 21 (which I only realized thanks to Facebook), the first of our group to reach such a milestone, and I was shakin’ in my Havaianas with excitement.

“Who’s making the birthday cake?” I asked.

He stared at me. For a long time. Like, uncomfortably long. I stared at my feet. God, I needed a pedicure.

“Cake?” He asked.

“Yes, cake. It’s your birthday party! Hello! There’s gotta be cake and a pre-party playlist and some fun accessory for you to wear. Oh, and where’s my Facebook invite to dinner? Wait, am I not invited to dinner?”

More silence.

“Dinner?” He asked. Read More »

[We scoured the country to find the ultimate sorority girl to share her sisterly expertise with you. After reading through tons of applications followed by hours Facebook-stalking all the candidates (which proved difficult thanks to FB's privacy settings....), we found her. She gave you the lowdown on rush and the rules of the sorority date party. And now that you're sitting pretty in your new house, she's got a few things to say about sisterly love.... or a lack thereof.]

When you combine 80 girls plus their stress from exams and boys, there is going to be drama. Duh. And even though sorority girls do sometimes get in crazy bitch fights over missing nail polish and whether they are going to watch Gossip Girl or Grey’s, they aren’t lying to you when they say that no one hates anyone in their house.

My non-Greek friends always ask what it’s like to live in a sorority with SO many girls. Thinking back, it’s safe to say that it’s like something between 7^th Heaven and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. No, really. It is true that we all love each other like Lucy and Mary (don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about – everyone watched 7th Heaven) and sure, living with all your sisters can be a blast. BUT sometimes living in a house full of girls is a complete nightmare and is full of drama, drama, and more DRAMA.

Living in a sorority is just the same as living with your own blood sister at home, but on steroids. Yes, your clothes will go missing and, yes, you will see your sister tagged in a picture the next day wearing them. It happens. But that’s normal between blood siblings. And it’s the least of the problems when it comes to sorority sisters.

Here are some of the more pressing issues (read: watch your back): Read More »

You know those hermits you hear about that live in caves, hunt wild animals, and never cut their beards? Well, whenever I come home during a break from school, I give them a run for their money (minus the wild animal and beard parts – I like my meat cooked and my face fuzz-free). When I’m home, I hang out with my family and might make it to lunch with some friends a few times, but that’s pretty much the extent of my human interaction. As an only child, constantly being around (drunk) people at school can drive me absolutely crazy, so I love coming home and locking myself away for however long I can manage to.

With that said, last night I ventured out for my high school best friend’s birthday dinner. My mind, which had been reacquainted with constantly being with sober people, was blown. The champagne guzzling started at the dinner table and turned to shots as we headed out to a sweaty, packed club where there was so much grinding I was tempted to go home and get an STD test. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun…until everyone got super sloppy and my role turned from dancing queen to babysitter-to-the-sloptarts.

It got me mad.
And it got me thinking…. Read More »

Let’s face it: we’ve all done some questionable things in our lives. Things we think are totally logical in the moment, but make us cringe when we think about them later on. Things that we wouldn’t even tell our best friend, because we can’t handle that look of disapproval that she’s so. damn. good at. Things that even we, ourselves, wish we didn’t know about. But things that our friends, family, and fellow CollegeCandy readers have probably done, too.

Like scoring free drinks from an unsuspecting patron at a bar, perhaps?

So here is our chance to let it all out. To share our secrets and find that maybe we’re not so crazy, so weird, so abnormal, after all. We’ll spill the beans every Tuesday and invite you to share your own similar experiences below. Just think of it as therapy. Or a really hilarious way to spend a Tuesday afternoon. Read More »

Yeah, not so cute when you're the sober one.

Between that giant presentation, your student group obligations and the hundred other things on your plate right now, you’ve been pushed to your limit and your body has begun to shut down. Your nose won’t stop running, your throat is sore; you want to party it up for your BFF’s birthday, but you know drinking will only make things worse. You decide to go out anyway – you’ll just make it a sober night.

The night starts off fine. You have a little pre-party at your place. While everyone is sipping on Rum and Diets, you opt for a straight up Diet. You sing a little Gaga, take a couple photos, eat a little cake. When everyone is finally ready (and the birthday girl is appropriately outfitted with her princess crown) you head out.

When you walk into the bar it’s packed. You offer to buy your friend a birthday shot and squeeze your way to the bar. A drunk girl steps on your foot. A drunk guy shoves you over as he pushes his way past you. You breathe. Heavily. You stand at the bar flagging down a bartender when some skank in a slutty dress (seriously, are those her nipples?) spills her beer on your purse.

“Jesus Christ,” you scream. She ignores you, stumbles, then leans against the d-bag with the popped collar standing next to her to regain her balance.

“That girl knocked my beer over!” He buys her another one. They start making out. You breathe.

Finally, the bartender comes your way.

“Can I get a kamikaze and a water, please?” You scream. He doesn’t hear you. You scream it louder. He grabs a martini shaker and starts mixing your drink. A group of guys next to you overhears your order. One leans over, screaming in your ear.

“Water?! You’re drinking water? This isn’t the gym.” His friend gives him a high five. You try to explain that you’re not feeling well but his Jager bomb arrives and he stops listening. The guys raise their glasses toasting to “booze and bitches,” take their shots, talk a little about their bartender’s boobs (“I’d totally hit that”) then move on.

Your drinks finally arrive. You throw money down on the bar, elbow your way through the crowd, careful not to spill the shot, and look for your friends.

When you finally find the group they’re wasted. And the birthday girl is dancing on a table… with the guys you were just talking to at the bar. You try to get her attention to give her the shot, but as you’re handing it to her one of the guys knocks it out of your hand and it drops to the floor.

You breathe.

You’re about ready to throw in the towel and head home (they wouldn’t remember anyway) when Britney comes on. Your friends all look at each other and scream.

“OMG. We have to go dance!” The girls jump up and run to the dance floor. You follow; you love this song, too. You guys carve out some space on the dance floor and start singing at the top of your lungs. You’re beginning to have a little fun when drunk people start bumping into you from all sides. They step on your foot. They knock you over. Your friend, doing her signature sexy move against some random dude, falls to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at you for not drinking, for not being any fun. The birthday girl, totally wasted, hugs you and tells you how much she loves you. How you’re her BFFAEAEAE. How this is the best birthday ever, even though her butt really hurts from the fall.

Then “Your Love” starts to play, she lets go and starts singing to the rest of the group at the top of her lungs. When she starts spanking her own butt, you decide you’ve had enough and sneak out before anyone can notice. But not before one more drunk girl can spill a drink down your back.

Awesome.

Yeah, we’ve all been there. There is nothing worse than being the only sober one.

During my first few years of college, I spent my summers working at a resort.  It was good administrative experience and the night life was amazing.  Also, because I was well under 21, it helped that most of the bars didn’t card (and the bartenders were amenable to some flirtation and tipping in lieu of my ID).  My days were spent hanging out in an air conditioned office while my friends and coworkers slaved away in ridiculously hot restaurants and golf courses.  My nights were spent at aforementioned bars (and anywhere else there was alcohol).

It just so happened that my second summer of resort work commenced shortly before my 19th birthday.  This meant a weekend of awesomeness (especially because the tourist season hadn’t really started yet and we were all bored and ready to party).  My birthday started nicely enough, with trips to the ice cream store and a picnic on the beach with my friends.  Later that night we spruced up and headed out to the bar with my favorite bartender, where we all agreed we would be celebrating my 22nd birthday (we picked my 22nd because the summer before I was drinking in the bars and was considered at least 21…obvs). Read More »

Yesterday was my birthday and while it should be the greatest day every year (besides Halloween!), I have a few gripes.

1. The Facebook “Happy Birthday” – I’ve been using FB long enough to know that most people (myself included) rely on it to tell us of important upcoming birthdays. That’s fine. What’s not fine is the sheer amount of people who do not speak to me in person but have no problem wishing me a happy birthday on my wall. Here’s a tip: if were aren’t close enough for you to leave me a witty inside joke, then I don’t want your birthday wishes.

2. Getting Old – I’m old. Really old. I won’t tell you how old (you’ll have to be my FB friend for that….and then randomly wish me a happy birthday every year), but it’s not pretty over here. No more staying up all night to party and feeling great the next day. Now I have to weigh every night out and decide if it will be fun enough to be worth the 3-day hangover that will follow it up. Seriously. I never felt hangovers like this when I was in my prime (20-22). And I hear it’s only worse from here…

3. Big Birthday Parties – My birthday dinner was with 5 of my wonderful friends. I make a rule that I have to be able to talk to everyone at my birthday, otherwise why should they come? I have tons of friends who do the 30-person birthday dinner, or 60-person bar evite. Come on, people. Big birthdays are fine for big moments: 21st, 30th… I know you want to feel special on your birthday, but you don’t need to celebrate with that girl from your Psych study group. Or the T.A.. Or anyone else who only communicate with you through Facebook. Read More »

Party poopers have been around since the invention of cake. Even at your seventh birthday party I can bet you had a few of em’. They were the kids that stuck their hands in your cake and popped your balloons. They were the children that took all the piñata candy and whined that you got presents and they didn’t.

These kids have since grown up, but have still not grown out of their party pooping ways. Here are a few classic examples of people to keep off the guest list at your next soiree.

- The Drunk Dialer: Everyone makes drunk dials. They are often regrettable, foolish mistakes that we wish we could take back; but for some people, one or two are not enough. Some people seriously spend an entire party going through their phone book; calling exes, third cousins and coworkers. Not only are they loud and obnoxious on the phone, but they also seem to think everyone shares their enthusiasm for calling their kindergarten best friend and will shout, “OMG guys! You should totally talk to Ed too!” Parties are not the time for forty drunk dials, save it for the walk home.

- The Rule Snubber: Sure, some rules are meant to be broken, but who likes to play games with people that selfishly snub all of them? Ever played quarters with someone that grabs everyone else’s coins when they are losing? How about someone who keeps drawing cards in Kings until they get one they like? Nobody likes someone that cheats in beruit or flip-cup. Cheaters are only funny for about a minute- Play the game right or don’t play at all! Read More »

I don’t know about anyone else out there, but I for one am quite excited about the return of Lo to The Hills this season.

And how could you not? She coined “Justin-Bobby”!

She also happens to be the only normal person to ever appear on this damn network. And every episode makes me love her more, especially when she gets drunk and shows her biz-ness to the world.

But Lo’s va-jay is not the (only) reason I loved The Hills last night. It was the ever so glamorous trip to Vegas with a hint of Heidi/Spencer dramaa that really did me in. Oh, and by “drama” I mean yet another trip to that damn Mexican restaurant.

Oh and let me just say that watching Spencer sporting the beard makes me constantly wonder if I’m watching The Hills or watching that new show Cavemen.

But enough about that thing – let us focus ourselves back on the good stuff: Vegas. Read More »