I have a special place in my heart for terrible teen television. The O.C., Degrassi, Instant Star, South of Nowhere, Dawson’s Creek: I just can’t get enough of it. The cheesy acting, the terrible love dramas, the catty bitch fights. I LOVE IT.

Which is why I am pumped for my newest terrible teen television drama Gossip Girl. Being an angsty teen is hard enough but when you’re rich, pretty and living on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, life is so bad it’s good. I’m pretty sure I watched the trailer five times because I was THAT excited.

There have been reviews. The New York Times profiled the show while five real UES Manhattan girls watched the first episode. And a few have even written that Gossip Girl is nothing to gossip about. But this is no Arrested Development, people. This is bad television.

The acting is sub par and the plotline monotonous (teens drinking and doing it… not anything new), but this time instead of sunny California it’s New York City.

And a location change is enough for me to be interested. It’s new! It’s fresh! It’s probably awful and I love it. Read More »

I would like to take this time to thank Mandie Erickson for making the fashion world seem so disgusting, so petty, and so bitchy, that I actually threw up a little in my own mouth.Before today, I had no idea who Mandie Erickson was.

But while scrounging the internet for that slow-mo kung-fu baby video, I stumbled upon a clip of her from a new reality show on Soap Net called The Fashionista Diaries.

The plot of this show isn’t important—some girls try to make it in the fashion and PR biz, it’s hard…blah, blah, blah—what’s important is that the world finds out about the bitchiest bitch that was ever bitchy, and does something about it.

Erickson is a partner/director at Seventh House, a PR firm that “represents celebrities and fashion mavens in New York City”. It’s her job to make people famous, and also apparently her job to talk in cigarette-burned voice, humiliate girls half her age, and generally pretend she’s better than anyone else around her. Read More »

At first I thought Perez Hilton just had some sort of weird vendetta against Avril Lavigne. Every week posting something about how she’s the biggest bitch on the planet. I mean, she’s not even famous anymore. Could she really have that giant of an attitude?

Yes.

After reading her little quotefest in Britian’s Q magazine, I truly understood the idiocy of this girl—and almost hurled.

Some shining examples:

“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me”, the singer says when asked about her fame, “but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads.”

“I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy”, she goes on to say about her image, “and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

Not only is Avril humble, but she’s also super charitable:  Read More »

If it’s at all possible, I feel really bad for Bridget Moynahan. Not only is she mostly known as the chick who got royally screwed over by Mr. Big after he cheated and destroyed their marriage, but her real life sucks, too. She was dating football stud Tom Brady, who dumped her for Gisele Bundchen. Yea. He does pretty well for himself.

But before Tom could enjoy a lifetime of sweet, supermodel sex…..oops! Bridget was pregnant with Tom’s baby, and he still didn’t want her back.

If that’s not enough of a slap in the face, Gisele broke out the fangs and claws and sent Bridget really expensive baby clothes – specifically “a onesie with the word ’supermodel’ written across it.”

Damn!

I’m not the only who is noticing this passive aggressive move. It’s pretty bold and pretty bitchy, as there is nothing worse than pulling a “Heyyyy, maaaaan, everything’s cool, I’m just gonna use this obnoxious tactic to try and solve our little problem here, but really, it’s just gonna piss you off even more and you’re going to resent me and want to punch me in the face. No biggie!” Ugh. Sooooo annoying (although sarcasm is always appreciated).

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com – a hilarious peek into the world of annoying post-its, notes, emails and signs people have actually written to their co-workers, roommates and fellow citizens that do anything but fix the problems at hand. You’ll see what I mean. Read More »

• When you live in New York City things like this are a disappointing reality. Thank God there’s a hilarious video parodying it! (YouTube)

• Listen up incoming Freshmen: Think your parents are like, so totally annoying? At least your mother doesn’t write about all of your short-comings. In the New York Times. (Gawker)

• Leona Helmsley’s bitch is a total bitch. But damn if she isn’t rich as hell! (NY Daily News)

• We all know to carry Mace and not trust men in public places. So, what’s this I read about 1 in 3 of us totally dropping trou at a moments notice? Didn’t we all read this article? (Houston Chronicle)

• Courtney Love might get sued because she cares about her suicidal friend. Ugh. Let’s just all agree to never do drugs again, okay? (MTV UK)

• Senator Larry Craig got arrested and the police report is taken word for word to make a mock Dragnet spoof. Bravo MSNBC! (MSNBC)

How many times do I say the word in a day?

I couldn’t rightly tell you. It’s one of my favorite swears. One of my favorite terms of endearment. It looks so good italicized. Plus, it sounds pretty fantastic coming out of someone’s mouth.

Don’t get me wrong, bitch can be completely derogatory, especially when it’s said with malice, or spoken by a guy to describe a girl, but is there really anything better than walking into a room and greeting your girlfriends with a rousing yell of hey, bitches! ?

Darlene Mealy, a Brooklyn member of The New York City Council, thinks there is. What’s better than using it as a term of endearment? Eradicating it all together.

Explaining that the word carries with it “a paradigm of shame and indignity”, Ms. Mealy has introduced a measure against the word, a measure that has the support of 19 out of 51 members on the council.

Even while she declares bitch a “vile attack on our womanhood”, Mealy admits that if the measure passes, it will almost be impossible to enforce. Which of course begs the questions of why. Read More »

Girls can be classified as bitches. Gay men can too. But can straight guys fall into the ‘bitchy’ category?

Yup.

The Bitchy Straight Guy is one of the most annoying categories of the male species. He comes in many different shapes and sizes; sometimes he’s a thin hipster with stupid hair (like Marcel Vigneron, a contestant on last season’s Top Chef), sometimes he’s a balding, pseudo creative type (like Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, from this season’s Celebrity Fit Club), and other times he’s a popped-collar, J-Crew sandal wearing frat dude (Chad Michael Murray comes to mind…at least in looks and based on that little marriage snafu with his costar).

The one link between these motley individuals? They’re bitches. Guys with all of the bark but none of the bite. Asswipes who get under everyone’s skin and then run if anyone tries to retaliate. Read More »

Let’s be honest — it ain’t natural to walk around town smilin’ like an ape all day. Who does that? It’s abnormal.

But still, people constantly ask me “what’s wrong?” and tell me I look unhappy because I don’t bare my teeth at the most minor of incidents. In its relaxed state, my face looks, well, a little subdued. I can’t help it. It doesn’t mean I’m upset, actually, it indicates the opposite, usually.

Apparently the lackluster, natural facial expression now has a name: Bitchface. Funny, right? Because contented women are usually total bitches. But maybe it’s true — we seldom realize how important and off – putting facial expressions can be to those around us.

Just like how I don’t realize when I’m talking to myself on the bus anymore, I never thought that my “bitchface” could be repelling friends, boyfriends, job opportunities, apartments, weekends in the Hamptons, et al.

I’m not going to stuff some “SMILE!” bullshit down your craw, but it’s something to chew on: how are you presented to the world in your most natural form? Your face, after all, is something you have little control over, past concealer — there’s no dressing it up with a flirty top or funky accessory.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I suppose a little Mona Lisa something – or – other never hurt anyone. It’s best to be subtly alluring and mysterious rather than a happy, toothy cheerleader… or a stone – mouthed bitch.

• So much for nice girls. Here are 10 reasons why being a bitch will better your relationship.

• Kill your TV – 33 ways to watch TV online.

• The summer’s coolest treat… The Beersicle. All the kids are doing it.

• Cheerleaders go undercover… to sell sh%t on the street??? VIDEO

• The Top 10 Sex Records… Even Rod Stewart would be amazed.

• Meet the Cougars. I mean c’mon girls are dating their daddies. What’s the big deal???

• VIDEO - Somebody get the scissors… A real life human tale – tail.

• Forget fist fighting. These days men are all about the Skin Chomp and the Fight Bite.

• Fuschia is the new pink and it’s hot!

• VIDEO – Menomena’s “Rotten Hell” – “300 with food and kids instead of pecs and quads.”