Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight, whether you want to hear that you’re just a Friend With Benefits or not. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you.

Hey Dude,

OK so this may seem really lame but for some reason guys NEVER sit near me in class. I feel like I’m giving off a bad impression but I really don’t understand. Me and my friends have been analyzing the situation (mostly just cracking jokes about how I look like a big reject) and we can’t figure it out. Not to sound cocky but I’m hot…I have a great rack, long pretty hair, and shower regularly (in case you’re thinking smell is a factor). I just don’t understand it. Do I give off some sort of bitch mannerisms? Is there any way to make me look more approachable when sitting in class? Sorry if this is a really lame question.

–Loser bitch who sits alone in class all the time Read More »

I am a Cosmo devotee. Have been since I started stealing my mom’s when I was twelve. I am amazed monthly by the hair, the witty captions, and their never ending innovation of synonyms for the word penis. Many of my friends, acquaintances, relatives and sisters swear by Cosmo as their Bible (and for the most part I do too). But there are some times (well…many times) when Cosmo’s take on real world situations is – in a word – whack.

I will still accept their declarations of lip gloss superiority like they were handed down from the divine, but when it comes to their interpretation of all things men (or at least all things greatly generalized and stereotyped), I think I’ll be reading with a grain of salt handy.

And I’ll pass that grain onto you. With every passing month and, in turn, every new “Secret Sex Fantasy Guys Won’t Tell You!” revealed, I will be here to break it all down for you. I will find the truth buried deep between the unsafe sex positions and “things he secretly loves you for,” so you don’t end up with a stiff neck, an angry boyfriend or some seriously embarrassing sexcapades.]

In this March’s “The New Attitude That Drives Men Wild,” Molly Fahner attempts to dissect the fine art of playing hard to get. Oh, you didn’t see that coming from the title? Don’t worry, me either. I like to reflect on the hidden meanings of the cover story articles, because they are so very often not what you think they’ll be (aside from the “596 Sex Tips We Publish Every Month”).

I imagined that Cosmo had discovered a rare personality trait that those girls who’ve consistently been in serious relationships their whole lives possess. Perhaps the Cosmo labs had created a mutated DNA strain that lured smart, funny and successful hotties from miles away. I at least hoped that the article would not use Madonna as an example of who to emulate when browsing for a guy. Read More »

Yeah, you heard right: Bitches is crazy.

Every girl has a story about some other girl who stabbed her in the back and then made her feel like crap about it. I mean, unfortunately, it’s a fact of life. Women are mean to each other.

Now, obviously, this is messed up. Aren’t men mean enough? Why do we have to make each other miserable too? But the fact is, we do.

So how to deal with such underhandedness? Cry? Scream? Pee in her soup?

Nope! Take the high road and follow these easy tips for counteracting cattiness. Because, seriously? She’s SO not worth it.

Don’t Cry

This is usually the first instinct. In that stinging moment when you discover her betrayal, tears almost always seem inevitable.

But fight those motherf*ckers!! Tears make her happy and make you look upset. And that’s what you don’t want. Think about something really funny and bite the inside of your cheek. Do NOT let her see you cry. Read More »

Every now and then I get reminded that, because I’m a woman, it’s considered rude, overly aggressive, or b*tchy if I assert myself too much. We’ve come a long way; the girls of our generation are enjoying a new kind of liberal experience and opportunity that no generation ever has before. We can have jobs, and kids, and we can support each other. We can even be a little curvy, though the standards of thin are still rigid. Heaven forbid, though, if we play as hard, or shout as loud, as the boys.

I started thinking about it when I realized how half the country (or more) has such a powerful, abiding hatred for Hillary Clinton (even now that the primary season is over). My grandmother can’t stand her, and yet I can never get a straight answer of why. I finally figured out that just about all of the criticisms being hurled at Hillary when she was still in contention all boiled down to the fact that she was calculating, ambitious, aggressive, and outspoken — the very qualities we celebrate in men and despise in women.

Men do it to women, and worse, women do it to women — we conclude that any female who’s a little nasty is a b*itch. Read More »

Yesterday was one of the best Mondays I have had in a long time. I got some great personal news, it was Cinco De Mayo (so I celebrated that great news with some tequila shots) and Gossip Girl was so. freaking. good. And then The Hills came on, and my day took a turn for the worse.

I don’t know if it was the fact that everything was just so great all day or that maybe I am just finally catching on to what everyone else has been saying (that nothing ever really happens on this damn show), but I just didn’t have love for The Hills last night. Lauren turned into an uber snooty bitch and Lo, my favorite of all reality show stars, was the ring leader of bitchiness. Read More »

I hate Heidi. Everything about her from her fake face/boobs to her super shiny and bouncy blonde hair. Oh, and her giant teeth.

Yet even I, president of the I Hate Heidi and Fake Face/Boobs and Super Shiny and Bouncy Blonde Hair and Big Teeth club feel drawn to her this week. There is something about the sheer douchiness of Spencer that makes Heidi look, well, good.

Last night’s episode of The Hills made Heidi look like an actual responsible and semi-intelligent adult. For the first time in our long and tumultuous history, Heidi actually seemed to be taking her job seriously.

No more “I wanna get paid for doing nothing.” The Future Mrs. Pratt is actually putting her personal life on hold for the sake of her serious new position. And I can’t help but respect that. I also can’t help but notice that she is working longer hours than me. And that makes me feel like less of a person.

What happened to old Heidi? You know, skip out on work to get lunch Heidi. Or drop out of fashion school after one day Heidi. I know one person who misses her: Whiny, Bitchy Spencer. (Sidenote: I kinda miss her too. She is so much more fun when you can really hate her.) Read More »

Everyone knows that the fashion industry can be bitchy, but now there are reports that it actually might be racist.

UK magazine The Independent recently ran an article about the lack of black and minority models on the runway.

Dee Doocey, a former fashion manager who’s currently campaigning for diversity on the catwalk says she can’t remember “being sent a model who wasn’t white,” during her days in the field “I don’t know if it’s racism, or just the fashion industry languishing in the doldrums”, Doocey continues, “but it needs to change. Agencies only seem interested in leggy white blonde girls.”

While none-white people make up about “30 percent” of London’s population, they “don’t even make up 1 percent of the models”, a ratio that sounds like it might have a reflection in America as well.

One managing director at a London agency that specializes in ethnically diverse models illustrated the crux of the problem by explaining her difficulty in getting work for her black models.

“The racism you come across is not underlying, it’s blatant” she reveals, going on to say that “People will say things like ‘Don’t send any more black models’, and one designer even said black people didn’t suit his clothes. And we’re not talking about small designers here; it’s all the big ones.” Read More »