10 Stories Every College Kid Has

Who remembers awkward snuggling!?

No matter if your school is comprised of baseball caps or plaid shirts, pearls or feather earrings, Big 10 football or frolf; there are some stories from college that cease to differ. When you put thousands of kids aged 18-22 in a close proximity for four years, there are going to be repeat offenses and plenty of stories to tell from them. The list below is composed of the top 10 stories from your average college kid- the embarrassing, the awkward, and (unfortunately) the frequent.

1. Omg well MY roommate…
Even if you and the roommates become best buds for life, there is always that one annoying thing he or she does that always manages to come out when you’re studying for your Biological Anthropology final. These habits could range from moderately annoying (like replaying the same 4 songs on loop at a creepily quiet level) to excruciatingly annoying (like sexiling you every night for two weeks straight, and leaving the proof everywhere). We’ve all got our stories, and we all love to one-up each other in conversations arguing over who had it worse.

2. Sloppy drunk you don’t remember
Again, I understand there are exceptions to this one as well. There are the few [lame] college students who do not touch a drink during their four years at college. However, for the rest of us, the majority has at least one story where we completely embarrassed ourselves in a drunken haze of a night. Whether it’s public vomiting or humiliating declarations, there are probably stories better left forgotten. Which brings me to my next story… Read More »


Blackout Mistakes: Should They be Forgiven?

“What happened last night?”

Ahh, the blackout. These words have become oh-so-familiar over the past two years I’ve spent at this fine university. Sunday mornings – Gatorade and a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich in hand – I sit in my living room with my roommates, attempting to piece together the events from the night before. Looking through pictures, decoding unintelligible text messages sent to the cute guy from Calculus, my friend apologizing for puking on my shoes or stealing my pizza before I had a chance to get the door.

I can’t be mad at them though, or even blame them. Sometimes the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol takes over and there is no turning back. They are no longer the same person and are going to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Like the infamous girl-on-girl makeout sesh which is now plastered all over Facebook.

But like they taught you in elementary school, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And recently, that person was me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two vomit-includingly cute years. We moved in together in August to a new apartment where he makes me dinner after a long night at work, and we’ve even talked marriage.

We were the stereotypical happy couple until about two weeks ago during a blackout sorta night.

All of my friends were finally back in town before this spring (spring? There’s two feet of snow outside) semester started, so naturally we had to celebrate get wasted. After a long night of cheap vodka and too many shots at the bar, we went back to my friend’s apartment for afties. Just another successful night.

That is, until I realized that my boyfriend was missing and I had no idea where he was. I started roaming around the apartment. I looked in the kitchen, then the bathroom. Nothing. Finally, I peeked my head into my friend’s bedroom and there he was. Naked. On top of a girl. Who was also naked. Read More »


Top Seven Reasons Not To Get Blackout Drunk This 4th of July

drunkHere, take this quiz:

Independence Day should NOT mean independence from:

(a) your good sense

(b) your panties

(c) reality

(d) all of the above

Okay, obviously the answer is (a). And if you believe that, skip the rest of this article.

But seriously, Independence Day marks our freedom as an independent United States of America, and for some reason, this has morphed into a gigantular party day.

Which, look, is fine by me. I love partying.

However, may I suggest, for your own sake, that you stop a tequila shot short of blacking out? Here are the top reasons why:

(7) Missing the festivities

I mean, if you can’t remember it, how the flip can you enjoy it? That totally sucks! Especially when you find out you managed to do #6.

(6) Ruining your chances with a hottie

Yes, the odds for this increase dramatically if you are blacked out. During such a state sometime in my sophomore year of college, I allegedly once asked a potential hook-up if he was gay. Um, yeah. That didn’t work out in my favor. Read More »