That’s right ladies: American Idol starts tonight (OMGI’mSoExcited!).

In honor of some of the awesomest entertainment on television, we decided to take a look back at the men we have grown to love over the last eight seasons. Click here to see the ladies.

Will there be another William Hung? Another Ruben? Another Daughtry?

We’ll just have to watch and find out. (Cue the commercial break.)

Nerdy Clay Aiken:

Rockstar, Chris Daughry:

David Archuletta (who sometimes makes us want to be in high school again):

Bo Bice:

Old Man Taylor Hicks:

Ruben Studdard:

Beat Boxing Blake Lewis:

Our personal favorite, William Hung:

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Which Sexy Single is the best catch?

Guys who can sing and play the guitar … need I say more.

Obvious guys were selected, like Justin Timberlake (my future husband), Jared Leto, Kenny Chesney and Bow Wow (what? he’s turned into a really nice piece of young man). But then there are the questionable few — Lance Bass? Josh Groban? Dave Navarro? They’re definitely not my idea of “sexy.”

Check out the rest of these dudes.

Photos after the jump

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Which Music Man is the Best Catch?

I know it’s not a fashion competition, but what the hell was Randy wearing? You know he thinks he’s a general in his own mind. Yes, I believe he loves himself that much. Paula—I’m sorry about the bruise on your face, but do you have a speech impediment? To me, she always sounds like she’s talking with a retainer in her mouth, but last night, maybe due to pain killers, it was even more pronounced. And she was obviously tired from her fall cause she was relatively quiet.

Simon—I love you just the way you are. Maybe with a few more buttons undone. I’m sorry that everyone boos you. You’re the only one that makes sense.

Jordin owned Blake last night. Owned. What Simon said about her wiping the floor with him on the last (kind of wretched, but not surprised it was picked) song? Totally true. She walked out on that stage and it was like she’d already won. She knew she had it. And I loved her dress.

The tears were a bit much (though I imagine it is really overwhelming), but I’m pretty sure Blake was crying harder backstage. Cause he sucks. And I’m not going to lie, I got a little teary myself. Jordin’s version of Xtina’s Fighter…eh. She’s not so good at up tempo songs, but producers can take care of that for her. And she could probably have a long career singing those beautiful ballads. She really is excellent. And they only brought up her age 4 times last night.

Blake. Oh, Blake. You sucked. Hard. I was never a fan of the Bon Jovi beat boxing thing, but everyone else loved it. And then it just went down hill. Waaaaay down. Hon, you can’t sing. So don’t pick a ballad to sing (and ruin a great song). Followed by another even more horrendous ballad. I couldn’t even listen to his version of This Is My Now.

I was thanking God for Tivo because about a minute in, I had to fast forward. I don’t think he was in pitch the whole time. And was it just me, or were those last pair of pants he was wearing way too tight and framing his package? That was the only thing I could see. But maybe I just have a dirty mind.

If Jordin doesn’t win after last night I don’t know what’s wrong with America. Unless they just feel sooooo bad for Blake, think everyone else will vote for Jordin, and vote the other way. Cause it wasn’t even a competition. It was like watching a really bad opener for a band you’ve been dying to see.

And we’ll only have to hear This Is My Now one more time… before they release it on single and drive us all crazy by playing it over and over and over and over again until no one wants to buy the winner’s album. Maybe that’s why no one who wins American Idol is successful….

I mean, I said it—I worried that Ms. Doolittle didn’t appeal to the mass audience—she’s just in a whole different ball game then everyone else up there. But it’s so obvious that she is amazing. Maybe lacking a personality. But a phenomenal singer. I’m pissed. Onto the rest of the show…

Ok, sure. I imagine running into one of the American Idols on the street might be kinda cool. I don’t know that I would recognize many of them, but I could pick a few out of a crowd. But who are these people that they showed in the clips last night? There were people weeping, and screaming, and freaking out over people who—as Idol legacy has proven—might not be that huge of stars. Kelly, and Carrie have done fine for themselves. But whatever happened to Ruben Studdard after he released that first album? Pretty sure crickets are audibly chirping in the silence of his career.

I was really struck by the girl weeping in the Melinda segment—“she’s really *sniffle sniffle* helped me through some *sniffle sniffle* hard times.” What? She’s literally only been around for eleven weeks. So that’s fourteen songs she’s sang, and changed your life with? Ok… I guess there are fourteen song albums that have changed my life, but seriously? I’m perplexed.

Elliott Yamin was surprisingly good. His stylist has done well for him and managed to hide that massive nose he’s got there. The song wasn’t bad, and though I don’t know that many white boys can pull off the R&B sound as well as Justin Timberlake, I’m willing to keep my fingers crossed for him. Apparently his album has been out for a minute—anyone heard it? Again with the Idol curse… hmmm. Maybe being on the show is not such a good career move.

I wanted to write here that Adam Levine was luscious and to die for good looking, but what the hell is up with that hair cut he’s rocking? What do you even call that thing? And he is lanky! I had no idea. I was hoping that his striking features would make me forget he had slept with LaLohan, but alas, he is ruined for me. The song was typical Maroon 5—catchy, poppy, fun. For some reason the sound always seems off to me when the real famous people perform. But maybe it’s me.

Next week is the big finale show—I swear if Blake wins I will NOT watch next year. And I mean it this time. I’m almost tempted to forget the last show this season, but then you guys would miss my witty banter afterwards.

Can I begin by saying that I was slightly worried that last night was the first night the contestants had two songs to sing. I didn’t know there were eight good Bee Gees songs to choose from.

But, because most of the performances sucked, I ended up being really impressed by the songwriting. I had no idea that some of those tunes were written by Barry Gibb. And he was wonderful with the contestants—complementary of their talents, helpful in his advice. Good on you, Bee Gee.

But I can’t pretend anymore. Worst. Idol. Ever. This season officially blows. Maybe others decided that earlier on, but I really have been hoping that these Idols-to-be would kick it up a notch, and prove to America that they’re worthy to be there. But really… they’re not.

I’ve been saying forever that I’m over Blake. His performance was tired, and out of pitch. The beat boxing? Just stop with it. And thank you to the judges for finally hating it, and not calling it innovative. It’s a singing contest, and to be quite frank, you can’t sing that well. Out.

Lakisha was my favorite early on—from her audition, to her first performance of And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going—she seemed like the one to beat. But she has been so non-descript ever since. How do you screw up a high energy song like Stayin’Alive? Well, you did. And the other song was just boring. No stage presence. Nothing. Out.

Jordin’s first song—To Love Somebody—was beautiful. I know they say it every week, but I can’t believe how young she is. She is so in control of her voice, well spoken, and adorable. But she failed to impress in her second appearance, and it’s about that time where we don’t question song choice, or pitch—it should be about who out does the others in stage presence. And I’m not sure that she accomplished it last night.

It was cute that Melinda refused to sing about going home—I respect her superstitions and determination. Cause she shouldn’t be the one to go home. But the judges were right in saying that they expect more from her at this point. Watching the rest of the contestants, and then watching her is normally like seeing two separate shows—one of someone who shouldn’t even need to compete, and the other of relatively mediocre talent. Her last song was better than the first, but I hope she does even more next week.

So my plea to the American Idols next week is—step up! Or just give Melinda the crown, and stop putting us through this already. I bet Simon is just livid off screen….