Is it a bad date? YES! And here are 11 ways you can figure that out. Some of these clues are subtle and some are not. We’ve all been on nightmare dates that you wish you could just teleport away from. But since you can’t actually call The Doctor to pick you up and teleporting won’t be invented for another, oh, let’s call it 30 years, you’ve got to figure out your emergency escape plans and put them into action the SECOND you notice any of the following:

1. He asks for a child’s menu and orders a child!
I think Charles Manson did this once. Not sure if it was pre-prison or post-incarceration.

2. He’s so excited to show you his court-ordered ankle tracker.
Run, run, run!

3. The first question he asks is “have you found Jesus yet?”
And you tell him, “no, do I look like Mel Gibson?” Seriously, we’re too old for that sh*t. Read More »

An older friend of mine once advised me that I should stick with my college boyfriend. I thought this was strange advice at the time. I had warned so many friends of mine upon high school graduation that sticking with their high school boyfriends was a terrible idea, so I figured the same would go for college.

Weren’t you supposed to explore your options? Date? Have fun in your twenties before settling down in your thirties? Now that I’ve graduated, I know exactly why she said it. Dating post-college is a major shock to the system.

I went on a date recently with a guy who I’d met at a poetry reading. I thought he might be a few years older than me and I was okay with that, but on the date it came to light that he was actually many, many years older than me, fourteen to be exact (that’s Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher territory). I figured I’d dated older men before, so I decided to give him a chance. We talked about jobs, our shared neighborhood haunts (we both lived in the East Village), and then the subject of past relationships came up and he told me about his ex. Read More »