As a December baby (December 28th to be exact, yes I do now expect you to send me lots of presents) you would think I would be a fan of snow, or at least of winter. But I am not, and I will tell you why.

Growing up as a kid on the heavier side is not fun, it is especially not fun during winter. First off you had the people that would assume your “extra body heat” will keep you nice and toasty. Those people are idiots. Secondly, cute snow pants are apparently not made in fat kid sizes (or at least not in my day). So while all of the popular girls, the ones who usually ate salad instead of pizza, had adorable pink, purple, and light blue snow pants (matching jackets are a given) I was left with my moms giant overalls in puke green…which were not very flattering when accompanied by my giant white puffer.

There was a brief moment in my life where I did wear the cute snow pants, but they were tight and limited my joy. But, let me just say that winter I was part of the cool girls group. I was also, like, 8.

Although it’s fun to play in the snow, mainly for the rewarding hot chocolate, there are many downsides — frozen boogers and frozen sweat on your feet being my favorite. Plus, now that we are getting older there are even more negatives. So in the spirit of the light dusting of snow we recently got, here are ten reasons snow actually stinks…

initiating the gallery...

Remember when you were a little kid, and you’d actually wake up on time for school… just so you could huddle next to the radio and listen for your school to be called on the list of snow days? With winter’s doom impending and temperatures dropping faster than The Situation’s pants, we can’t help but cross our fingers and pray.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Are snow days something you never grow out of? Or, in college, do they prove that miracles really can happen? Here’s how our anticipation of snow days has evolved since grammar school.

Then: A snow day meant a day off from times tables.
Now: We don’t have to finish copying someone else’s MiniTabs before Stats lab.

Then: We would make a beeline to the street and get all the neighborhood kids together for a snowball fight.
Now: We don’t have to brave arctic winds to walk to class and sit through lecture with snotsicles hanging from our frostbitten faces.

Then: Since we were already up at the crack of dawn, we could take advantage of the snow day and start building a snow man as soon as we got “the word.”
Now: We can go back to sleep for about six hours, and wake up just in time for happy hour.

Then: Snow days meant putting on snow pants and trekking to the biggest hill in town for a full day of sledding.
Now: Snow days mean putting on our beer coat and trekking to the bar for a full day of boozing.

(Note: I love how college students use a blizzard as an excuse to go to the bar, yet even when school isn’t canceled, we deem it too treacherous to walk to class.)

Then: For some unfortunate children, snow days meant driveway-shoveling duty before the parents got home.
Now: After the storm passes, we have to shovel our cars out from behind the snow banks the university plows have inevitably created throughout the parking lot.

Then: We could spend a whole extra day working on our vocabulary exercises!
Now: We could start that research paper that was due three days ago… but who are we kidding? Those episodes of Law and Order SVU aren’t going to watch themselves!

Then: We had an excuse to drink hot chocolate for breakfast.
Now: We have an excuse to drink a thirty-pack for breakfast.

I think it’s clear that snow days are one of mankind’s greatest inventions. Honestly, snow delays and cancellations are one of the top reasons to attend a university in a colder climate. I feel bad for those of you who are earning degrees in Hawaii, Florida, California, or any other season-less state. You will never experience the joys of the world’s most beautiful Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card: the beloved snow day!

Want mas? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.]

Sure, we can layer five sweaters, two hoodies, a parka, and a scarf, but once we’ve stepped outside, bookbag in hand, we realize we would much rather snuggle up under our down comforters and hibernate until spring. Yet, when Friday rolls around, we’re willing to trudge across campus in a blizzard, wearing mini skirts and halter tops, just to look cute for Martini Night.

Of course, these practices only snowball (har har har) into bigger problems when we get strep throat, bronchitis, the flu, or other wintery illness since our immune systems have been frozen solid. Rather than braving the cold, risking hypothermia, or sitting in an ice-cube of a car, begging the heat to kick in for twenty minutes just so you can feel the steering wheel to drive to a party, here are some ways to make the weekends work…warmly.

1. Host a floor party.

Especially in suite-style dorms or university apartment complexes, this is a no-brainer. Everyone can pop in and out as they please, nobody even needs a jacket, and you’ll never be stuck being the DD. If your RA is a stickler for the rules, this can be tricky, but if you can get away with it, have an open house on your floor/in your hall/ around the building.

2. Order delivery.

You’re going to do it anyway if you’re stumbling home from the bar. So skip the “going outside” part- don’t even venture to the dining hall- and order a couple of piping hot pizzas, right to your door. Make some hot cocoa in your microwave (spike it with Bailey’s if you like), and have a roasted, toasted food fest. When you’re finished indulging, you wouldn’t want to wear a skimpy outfit anyway.

3. Make your dorm room a personal spa.

Pretend spring break has come early. Soak your feet in hot water, relax with a heating pad, or model the bikini you bought for the upcoming season. Getting in the mood for summer will help you beat the winter blues. Since you’re staying in anyway, blend up some margaritas. You are always just one step away from snuggling under the cozy, warm covers.

4. Blackout.

I’m not talking about irresponsible drinking. But, since the winter months are the darkest, take advantage of the 4 p.m. nightfall and save some energy. Once, during a winter-storm-induced blackout, my roommate and I lit all of our (illegal by university housing codes) candles, lined up shots of all of the different types of liquor in our kitchen and had a dimmed dance party. To avoid getting written up, use flashlights or a few small lamps. Break out some old board games, or simply have a girly bonding night…in the dark.

5. Snuggle up with that special someone.

Nothing keeps you warm like someone else’s body heat! You can do any of the above with your honey, or release all of your school-induced tension by staying in bed all weekend long. You’ll save money on the bar, burn some calories, and the only gloves you’ll need will be ribbed for your pleasure.

No need to risk driving on icy roads, falling into snowbanks, or getting windburn on your face this winter. There’s plenty of ways to entertain yourself within the confines of your nice, warm walls – whether you’re cheating on your spring break diet (which you deserve), partying it up with your neighbors, being silly (cabin fever can have that affect- and I like it!), or finding an excuse to try Cosmo’s latest “Best Ever” position! What do you do to beat the winter blues?

Remember when you were a little kid, and you’d actually wake up on time for school… just so you could huddle next to the radio and listen for your school to be called on the list of snow days?

With winter’s doom impending and temperatures dropping faster than an eight ball at Amy Winehouse’s flat, we can’t help but cross our fingers and pray… Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Are snow days something you never grow out of? Or, in college, do they prove that miracles really can happen? Here’s how our anticipation of snow days has evolved since grammar school.

Then: A snow day meant a day off from times tables.

Now: We don’t have to finish copying someone else’s MiniTabs before Stats lab.

Then: We would make a beeline to the street and get all the neighborhood kids together for a snowball fight.

Now: We don’t have to brave arctic winds to walk to class and sit through lecture with snot-cicles hanging from our frostbitten faces.

Then: Since we were already up at the crack of dawn, we could take advantage of the snow day and start building a snow man as soon as we got “the word.”

Now: We can go back to sleep for about six hours, and wake up just in time for happy hour.

Then: Snow days meant putting on snow pants and trekking to the biggest hill in town for a full day of sledding.

Now: Snow days mean trekking to the bar and putting our liquor jackets on.

(Note: I love how college students use a blizzard as an excuse to go to the bar, yet even when school isn’t cancelled, we deem it too treacherous to walk to class.)

Then: For some unfortunate children, snow days meant driveway-shoveling duty before the parents got home.

Now: After the storm passes, we have to shovel our cars out from behind the snow banks the university plows have inevitably created throughout the parking lot.

Then: We could spend a whole extra day working on our vocabulary exercises!

Now: We could start that research paper that was due three days ago… but who are we kidding? We probably won’t.

Then: We had an excuse to drink hot chocolate for breakfast.

Now: We have an excuse to drink a thirty-pack for breakfast.

I think it’s clear that snow days are one of mankind’s greatest inventions. Honestly, snow delays and cancellations are one of the top reasons to attend a university in a colder climate. I feel bad for those of you who are earning degrees in Hawaii, Florida, California, or any other season-less state. You will never experience the joys of the world’s most beautiful Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card: the beloved snow day!

We always hear about the obesity epidemic in America: It’s a major issue! People are dying! Fat people are evil! While it’s true that being overweight can lead to serious health problems, it is not true that being overweight automatically means being unhealthy.

Which explains the new “Fat Acceptance” movement that is spreading across the country. Activists and supporters of this movement are screaming from the rooftops that being fat is OK, and as long as people are making good choices to support a healthy lifestyle it should not matter what size pants they wear.

And I totally concur. I cannot tell you how sick I am of salads, fad diets and feeling guilty when I want a Potbelly Oreo Shake so badly I could punch someone. So, you know what? I’m joining this movement and I urge you to do the same. Stop kicking yourself for enjoying a hot dog at your football tailgate. Stop crying after a late night pizza binge.

Put down that carrot and join me in embracing ourselves, no matter what size we are. And what is the best way to do that? By enjoying some of life’s most delectable treats. Come on, it’s OK; fat is in!

Pumpkin Muffin from Dunkin Donuts

It’s the fall, so you have to have at least one. And trust me – it is totally worth it.

Oreo Cakesters

Like the real thing but bigger, softer and so much more delicious

Dairy Queen Blizzard (specifically, the Cheesequake)

OMG THESE THINGS ARE SO GOOD I COULD JUST DIE. No joke.

Cheese Fries

There is nothing better than fried potatoes smothered in cheese. Especially when you don’t care how fatty they are.

Big Mac

Beef: goooood. Cheese: Gooood. Bun: Gooood.

[Main photo courtesy of the NYTimes.]