• Reasons you’re bloated

• Remember valley girls?

• 10 fashion lessons from horror movies

• Who are you calling crazy cat lady

• Moonwalk your way through Walmart (video)

• Would you wear this?

OK, so I might be mixing up my analogy here (I don’t think sodium wears cut-offs or weird kids make you retain water), but you get my point: sodium is annoying, it’s bad for you and it happens to be in everything. Which might be tasty, but is also a problem when we’re only supposed to consume around 2,300 mg of sodium a day (which is basically a teaspoon of salt). Besides the other harmful effects sodium has on the body (think high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, etc), the biggest offender – especially in bikini season – is bloating.

Blah. Bloating. Even the word sounds fat.

Summer bloat is every girl’s worst nightmare. No matter how hard we hit the gym to get fit for summer, that extra water retention always manages to come back and haunt us right before we hit the beach. So how can we prevent it? Easy, avoid sodium. And how do we avoid sodium? Well, you gotta know where to find it….

On average, only 5% of our daily sodium intake is from adding salt into our foods. The real culprits are processed and prepared foods. A whopping 77% of our daily sodium intake comes from these foods! In my personal war against all bloat-inducing-foods (BIFs?), I’ve come across a few unlikely salt culprits that you should consider before slipping on your bikinis this summer – and probs during the rest of the year too.

Dairy foods.
Unprocessed dairy products have pretty low amounts of sodium, but once they are processed the sodium is way higher than expected!
- 1 cup low-fat milk = 107 mg
- 1 oz. slice American cheese = 406 mg
- 1 cup cottage cheese = 851 mg

Condiments.
Who knew mustard and ketchup contained this much sodium? Not I. And that low-sodium soy sauce we’ve all been reaching for? Yeah, don’t let that green cap fool you.
- 1 tbsp. mustard or ketchup = 190 mg
- 2 tbsp. fat free Italian dressing = 430mg
- 1 tbsp. low sodium soy sauce = 600mg
-  1 tbsp. soy sauce = 1,000 mg

Soup & Sauces.
These stats are borderline obscene.
- 1 cup Cream of Chicken soup = 1,047 mg
- 1 cup Chicken Vegetable soup = 1,068 mg
- 1 cup tomato sauce = 1,284 mg

Frozen/canned/packaged foods.
I was expecting these to be high, but not for canned beans to have nearly the same amount of sodium as a chicken pot pie! Cray cray.
- 2 slices deli turkey meat = 450 mg
- 1 cup canned beans = 856 mg
- 1 frozen chicken pot pie = 857 mg
- 1 cup mac & cheese = 1,061 mg

Snacks & Grains.
Bread & cereal are never places I expected to find sodium! But that stuff is hiding (in major amounts) everywhere. Even dessert. What’s the deal, pudding!?
- 2 slices whole wheat bread = 268mg
- 1 cup Honey Nut Cheerios = 269 mg
- 1/2 cup pudding = 470 mg
- 10 pretzels = 1,029 mg

Fast food.
These numbers really makes me rethink my love for Taco Bell.
- Cheeseburger = 1,108 mg
- Egg & sausage biscuit = 1,141 mg
- Large taco = 1,233 mg

Clearly we can’t just NOT eat any of these foods anymore, so here are simple ways we can get around the high sodium problem until the food industry shapes up:

1. Limit the toppings. Get the dressing on the side, use unsalted butter if you have to use butter, and leave that extra sauce on your plate. You do NOT need to lap it up with bread, peeps.

2. Get creative. Instead of lamenting your lack of sodium, you could be discovering an entirely new world of herbs and spices! Think garlic, vinegar, basil, cilantro, pepper, etc., which won’t put your tummy (literally) over the edge (of your bikini bottoms).

3. Pick fresh over processed foods. Unsalted peanuts have 8 mg of sodium. Three ounces of steak has 55 mg of sodium. A plain baked potato has 5 mg of sodium. Yes, you can eat well sans salt. And if you need something pre-made, just look for the low sodium options.

4. Skip the fast food. But really, sodium is the least of the problems with this stuff!

Whether you want to make these changes in the long run or not, you might need a quick fix. Maybe you’re about to catch some rays, go to a pool party tonight, or you’ve just annihilated a half a box of Cheez-Its while reading this article. Never fear. You can prevent and/or alleviate bloating by:

1. Eat fiber & probiotics. Eating fiber-rich foods like spinach and whole grains will help regulate your system. Also, anything with probiotics (like yogurt) helps too!

2. Drink water! Not enough will definitely cause water retention, and drinking a little more than usual can help flush sodium out of your system.

3. Consume anti-bloat foods. Incorporating a mild diuretic like parsley or pineapple into your meals can ease bloating considerably. Bananas and chamomile tea are purported to ease symptoms as well.

In the end, check your labels! Knowledge is power and in this case, knowledge is the power to beat the bloat.

Sometimes it’s hard to fit healthy food into a busy schedule, making it even harder for us to keep our digestive tract happy and healthy.  Unfortunately, one of the most common side effects of an unhappy tum-tum is bloating (ew).  Luckily, with a few easy tweaks to our diet, we can get on our way towards a fitter and flatter stomach.

Tummy Tip #1: Drink tons of water.  Water is probably the closest thing to a silver bullet you’ll ever find.  Not only does it improve the look of your skin and stimulate mental clarity, it also aids in digestion.  This translates into a flatter, bloat-free stomach for you.  Make sure you’re getting enough agua by listening to some advice from the Institute of Medicine.  They recommend that the lovely ladies, like ourselves, drink about 9 cups of H20 a day.

Tummy Tip #2: Hold the salt. As a general rule of thumb, wherever salt goes water will follow.  This is good for maintaining a good balance of minerals in the blood, but can be bad when it comes to belly bloat.  You don’t have to cut out salt completely to diminish bloating, but try to avoid overly salty foods like chips, canned soups, frozen meals, and salted nuts.

Tummy Tip #3: Try probiotics. Most studies with probiotics have been inconclusive, so take this section with a grain of salt (pun intended).  Probiotics are strains of bacteria that can have beneficial effects on your immune system and digestive tract.  However, some studies have found that probiotics may actually cause bloating, so be sure to keep a watchful eye on your waistline if you try this one out.  Probiotics are found naturally in yogurt, so work them into your breakfast by eating nonfat plain yogurt with berries and granola.  And just so you know, there is no need to buy special “probiotic” yogurts to get the beneficial effects.

Tummy Tip #4: Eat less sugar. Fructose, one of the most common sweeteners found in our foods, can cause bloating if consumed in high amounts.  If you still can’t give up your sweet tooth but want a tighter tummy, check the ingredients list to make sure that the food is made with sugar, not high fructose corn syrup.  Also, beware of artificial sugars in sugar-free candies and gums; they can cause bloating too.

You don’t have to give up all of your favorites to beat the bloat.  Just eat everything in moderation, drink tons of water, and exercise regularly to keep your tummy in tip-top shape.

This scenario is all too familiar: You, crunched over in a ball with an empty bag of potato chips and chocolate bar wrappers strewn about yelling out “Why God why!?” while wondering if you’re considered ‘Promises Rehab’ status if you take ten Advil.If there is anything that my period cramps have taught me it’s that I soo do not want to have children. They say cramps are supposed to prepare your body for childbearing. I even read that because of this fact, I should ‘man up and face the pain’.

Nothing says “Let’s get pregnant” like debilitating cramps that ruin my weekend and keep me in fetal position for hours at a time. Childbirth is going to be like cupcakes and dandelions. Can’t wait.

When it comes to cramps I would say I take the opposite route of “manning up”. Heating pads, drugs, exercise, (booze?), whatever is necessary to help me get rid of the pain, I welcome with open arms.

So imagine my delight and rapid trip to my local health food store when I saw this article.

Borage Oil, Evening Primrose Oil, and Black Currant Seed Oil are all anti-inflammatory oils that help to reduce prostaglandins (molecular compounds released when your old uterine lining starts breaking down and causes your uterus to contract).

To help ease the pain and make life enjoyable for you (and those around you) the article suggests these natural alternatives.

Four to Seven days before the onset of your period, Take:

* 500-1000 mg dose of Evening Primrose Oil once a day in capsule form (available at vitamin shops and health food stores)

* 200-400 mg of magnesium

* 100-200 mg of vitamin B6 (evidence shows that B6 helps to reduce bloating. Calcium and Magnesium also are shown to help ease cramps and spasms).

Avoid foods that cause inflammation such as sugar, meat and dairy (unless organic, meat and dairy are pumped with antibiotics which can cause inflammation).

Exercise! Not only does a sweat session help guard you against inflammation, we all know by now that exercise releases endorphins which will help you feel better overall.

Don’t wait until you are crying/screaming/contemplating suicide to down those painkillers.

Starting a week before, take one painkiller a day to block prostaglandin production.

It’s time to show your uterus who’s the boss.

Got any other uterus-kicking tips? You KNOW we want to hear ‘em!

And, what if I told you it involved no pills, shots, or weird, granola-hippie “herbal” treatments?

Well ladies, it’s certainly a possibilty…and while it sounds like a dream come true for those of us held prisoner by Tic-Tac-sized pills, I’m not entirely convinced that I can get down while free and clear of all worry. What is this magical device?

Meet the Lady Comp, the one thing on Earth you’ll have to trust more than God. That is, if you dont want mini-me’s running all over the place. It works by recording your temperature upon waking up in the morning, and from the readings, will detect whether or not you are ovulating. Green = go. Red = YOU’LL GET PREGNANT!! DON’T DO IT!!

It sounds incredible. No more bloating, loss of sex drive (which defeats the purpose of BC), acne, and the other millions of side effects birth control usually boasts. But isn’t this esentially the Rhythm Method?

I mean, there is science to back up the claims that you’re internal body temperature rises when you’re ovulating, but I can just hear the voice of the school nurse, my doctor…and yes, my mother telling me I’m crazy for even considering this all-natural, all-faith option.

But like most things that are natural and free of body-harming chemicals, it’s not available in the U.S.. Damn.

Looks like I’ll have to play it (really) safe until Lady Comp goes mainstream.

The crazy mood swings, the back pain, the excruciating cramps, and the lazy lazy lazy.

Everybody loves chocolate.

The bittersweet, the dark, the nutty, the shameless calories.

Jamieson Laboratories in Canada have just introduced PMS Support Chocolate Bars, fifteen different soy crisp treats infused with natural botanicals that help alleviate physical and emotional symptoms of the dreaded Aunt Flow.

The smart sweets are made up of sodium caseinate, artichoke leaf and chasteberry, white willow bark (said to be “herbal aspirin”) and a bunch of other ingredients we’ll never recognize. All these natural ingredients work together to relieve pains, bloating, and your baaaad attitude.

Hallelujah!

Seems like the perfect solution considering everyone craves chocolate on their period anyway. Lucky for us we can stop popping pills and throw out that damn warm compress, because these delectable delights cash in at only 70 calories a serving.

Too good to be true? I’ll let you know next month.