Overheard: Two Feet To My Left

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Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over to us to put in next week’s post.

(Guy, two girls, at dining hall breakfast.)

Guy: You girls don’t need your buns toasted, do you?

Girl 1: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

Girl 2: Heh heh. No.

Guy: I was talking about the hot dog buns.

(Girl, on the phone, on a campus thoroughfare.)

Girl: I wish you didn’t have a penis!

(Beat)

Girl: Well, then I wish you would stop jerking off in the shower! Read More »

High School Movie Heaven – Part II

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A while back, the editor of this very site put out a query: “Give me a Top 10 list of your favorite High School Movies.” I told her I wanted in – after all, who doesn’t love to indulge in a little HS drama? So I sat down and started listing. Only I discovered that including just 10 was more impossible than winning 8 medals in one Olympic games. And I am no Michael Phelps.

So, I listed 10. The first list of what would soon become many. After posting, many of you seemed quite angry with my decisions. Your comments were full of ALL CAPS and lots of exclamation points!!!! You were upset that I had left some classics off the list. Perhaps you didn’t notice the “Part 1″ in the title, or perhaps you just needed everyone to know of your love of The Breakfast Club.

Not that it mattered; I was clearly coming back for round 2. So here it is – another 10 gloriously angsty high school flicks. Get that Smart Pop ready, ladies; these high school dramas are gonna rock your lockers! Read More »

Top 5 Reasons Why I Can’t Watch Horror Movies

151419__chucky_l.jpgI know that a lot of people like horror movies. I know this because a lot of people tell me they like horror movies, and also because Saw V is just about to hit theaters (the 5th installment of a plot that basically consists of scary machines and blood). There’s something about watching other humans scream in agony that a lot of people can’t get enough of — but I am not one of those people. I’ve never been one of those people. Since I came out of the womb, I have been scared to freaking death of horror movies.

Here are the Top 5 Reasons Why.

5) When Things Pop Out In An Attempt To Scare, I Always Get Scared

I know that it’s like, part of the fun, or whatever, when the music suddenly swells and a creepy things pop up all creepy, or someone is grabbed ,or a face appears in a mirror, but that sh*t gives me a heart attack every time. I lose my breath and my heart flips out and then I get really violently angry. Like I want to punch the TV for doing that to me. I get scared and then I get pissed and then my whole day is ruined.

4) Weird Noises Always Happen Afterwards

Whether I’m back at my childhood home, in a dorm, or at my apartment, after watching (or accidentally watching) a horror movie, weird noises will keep me awake all night. It never ceases to amaze me that it happens every single time. The wood creaks, my closet door won’t shut all the way, something scurries across the floor…my bedroom isn’t haunted until I watch a scary movie. Then it’s haunted. Totally, Ghostbusterly, haunted. Read More »

“How Did I Get This Bruise?” — Random Drunk Injuries, and How to Avoid Them

drunk_girl_snow400.jpgI used to joke that I could measure the amount of fun I had at a party by how many bruises I woke up with the next day. I’m not trying to sound sadistic, but I bruise easily and am incredibly clumsy; I party hard, and I fall even harder. I haven’t even been too out of control in the past few weeks, yet my legs are still littered with black and blue marks that seem to have appeared out of nowhere.

I’ve seen a lot of drunken injuries in my day. Some are funny; some not so much. You really shouldn’t need to wear hard hats or protective armor to a party, so here’s a brief list of some potentially painful injuries, and how to avoid them.

Injury: Cigarette burns.

Avoid them by: Not drunkenly smoking your cigs all the way through the band; not giving someone with a lit cigarette your hand; not putting the wrong side of your lit cigarette into your mouth.

Injury: First, second, or third degree burns.

Avoid them by: Being conscious of where the bonfire pit is at a keg party on a cool autumn night; not attempting to walk through said pit in an effort to reunite with your friends after peeing in the woods.

Injury: Stitches on your scalp.

Avoid them by: Not jumping up and down on your lofted bed and cracking your head open on the ceiling; not falling out of a lofted bed after sloppy, drunken, sex, and cracking your head open on your f*ck buddy’s desk.

Injury: A shiner the color of an eggplant.

Avoid it by: Not chugging straight Bacardi and proceeding to faceplant your nightstand. These actions may or may not also have a negative effect on the nightstand, which may or may not break apart from the impact of your face. Read More »

Grey’s: Learning from Our Losses

greys anatomyBeyond the excessively bloody scenes of last nights episode, there were some serious personal realizations amongst our favorite hospital staff — most of which were centered around some kind of loss. Whether it be the loss of a patient or significant other, everyone seemed to be seeing things a little more clearly.

I guess we all saw the Izzie/George thing coming. (I mean I totally predicted that would be over within a few episodes.) I did, however, expect Izzie to do the breaking-off, not little Georgie. Although I’m deeply relieved that they finally called it quits (because of how painfully apparent it was that they weren’t going to work out), they did both lose their best friend, which is kind of sad.

Then we have McDreamy and Mere Mere. This has been one long ass rollercoaster of committment issues, confusion, and emotional unavailability (to name a few) and you’d think I’d be happy that Derek is finally realizing how Merideth really can’t give him everything he wants. But I’m not, I’m more like, “Noooo, Derek! She’s finally coming to her senses and seeing what an amazing catch (yes, I said catch) you are. Don’t give up now!”

Then again, Merideth realizing that she doesn’t want her Doctor seeing other ladies might be a short-lived wish, since we know how indecisive she is. I dunno, I couldn’t help but feel like my father is cheating on my mother when I saw Derek locking lips with that Rose chick. I mean come on! I’m not ready for this saga to be over. Read More »

Movies to Watch this Hallo-weekend

Best horror movies

With Halloween coming up, it’s prime-time to watch a horror movie – but where? Are any movies worth watching in theaters this weekend? What’s new on DVD? Do drive-in theaters still exist?

No worries, moviegoer – these questions and more will be answered after the jump. Read More »